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February 24, 2006

LIFE IS TOUGH

It's even tougher when you're dead.

Key quote: "When he asked me to marry him, I said: 'I love you a lot but I can't marry you, I can't because I'm dead'," she said.

(Thanks to Marie in Kourou)

Comments

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Way to go, MiK!

"Being dead" made life difficult

duh

WHOOOOHOOOOOOO! I got blogged! It's been a long, long time...

I used to live in Barcelona. I'm so PROUD of this census anomaly.

However, a word to the wise: I sent this in a while ago, so be patient if your contribution doesn't show up right away. There seems to be a massive backlog over at the Blog and Stealth Bloggerette's address.

"She is now legally "alive" and is planning to marry Mr Guzman in Spring."

Of course the irony there is that by partaking in that cerimony, you effectly end any chance at having a life.

After Antonio marries the corpse bride, they will spend a weekend at Bernies.

"It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead."

The other comment that is gnawing at me is this..."Lawyers refused to represent her saying there was no precedent."

Sure there is precedent. I knew this guy named Ben Pierce. He was a Captain in the army during the Korean War (OK police action) - anyhoo, the Army declared HIM dead once (ISIANMTU) and he seemed to quite enjoy it. They eventually saw how silly it was to have a dead guy operating on people, and they cleared the whole thing up in about a half an hour. THATS Army efficiency for you!

She's only MOSTLY dead.

So you don't get your inheritance but you have to pay your taxes? Man, death really stinks.

Lawyers refused to represent her... hmmmm

you can tell these weren't American lawyers - an American lawyer would represent an actual corpse, so long as they paid cash up front

Now that's what I call a dead Spaniard.

Owner : No, no.... No, she's stunned.

Mr. Praline : STUNNED?

Owner : Yeah! You stunned her, just as she was wakin' up! Barcelonians stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That Spaniard is definitely deceased, and when I proposed to her not half an hour ago, you assured me that her total lack of movement was due to her being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

Owner : Well, she's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.


(Praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)


Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did she fall flat on her back the moment I got 'er home?

Owner : Barcelonians prefers kippin' on their backs! Remarkable people, aren't they, guv, eh? Lovely scenery!

Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining her when I got her home, and I discovered the only reason that she had been standing in the first place was that she had been NAILED up.

-Monty Python adulterated

(on their wedding night)

Senor G.: I thought that now that you weren't 'dead' you would ummmm....

Senora G.: What?

Senor G: Take a more active role?

SenoraG: You brought the coffin, not me!

TCK:

*AHEM*

I tried to stop him El - REALLY I did, but I got here just a bit too late!

Screams: I"M NOT DEAD!!!

but bloody inconvenient.

TCK - you know better than to cross Eleanor. You are sooo dead!

CoastRaven: you're gonna hafta learn to kiss up better than that if you wanna impress El

and El: tell me I'm wrong

Annie - crossing El is what I do for entertainment - the element of danger just makes it that much more fun

(in the event that his should actually result in my untimely demise, it's been nice knowing you)

TCK - define 'untimely.'

Annie: in this context, "untimely" would mean "soon", as opposed to "later"

Kind of like Bilbo. Did the Sackville-Calvos steal her spoons?

"Lawyers refused to represent her?" I thought Spain was a modern nation! What kind of country has lawyers that won't represent someone just because they're dead and there's no precedent?

El...As far as I'm concerned, you remain protected under the Doctrine of Eleanorian Immunity. (Unless you're just in the mood to take some umbrage, in which case, you go, girl!)

Congratulations MiK!
Bravo Federal Duck! *snork* at insomniac! !!! L !!! O !!! L !!!

The brother is brilliant.

Thank you Betsy. I'm in a really good mood today due to an impending visit by CG, so I'll pass.
I'm sure they'll be more time and more opportunities for umbrage many, many times. :)

It's interesting to note that the government had no problems collecting taxes for 14 years from a dead person. Can I claim she was just paying mine for me?
Hmm, that means I won't have to pay taxes agian till... (*scratches head*.. carry the 8, divide by the proportionate quotient of dollars to pounds algorithm.. *erases last 3 pages of work after realizing Spain doesn't use pounds*..) well, till I'm almost 40 at least. Hm. Them's some good money-making years in there.

El - you can pretty much count on it

"Lawyers refused to represent her saying there was no precedent."

boy, did they drop the ball, or what? when there is no precedent a schmart lawyer would grab the chance to make a name for themselves by winning such an obvious case. shame she didn't know FCDA. she dang sure'd flipped on the light.

Summon a dead person "to verify her status"?

Well, you know what they say, nothing in this world is certain except death and taxes. Simultaneously, even.

Well, Goddammit, Juanita ... who you gonna believe? Me? Or your own eyes?

(Not 100 percent on thread, but sorta close. Big (REALLY BIG) prize to the one who can identify the context and/or source of that line ...)

Life imitates Gilbert & Sullivan ... (see The Grand Duke)

This is nothing. There's an eighty year old man.He's got a case in front of the Supreme Court.
It's been going on for 20 years.
Of course,it's about the definition of the difficult term--Clean Water.
Hold it up to the light,let the dog drink it,see if the dog dies or throws up.

Um..... She may not be dead, but I'd sure think about killing my brother if he had ME proclaimed dead just to stiff me of an inheritance!

If she killed her brother while being 'dead,' could she be charged for the crime?

Mew - I thought of that, too. Perhaps she'd be sentenced to death. That they accepted her tax payments just 'kills' me though.

But if your dead, you can insult all the people you want, and when they scream "YOU'RE DEAD PUNK", you can just smile and say "I know."

But if you're dead, you can insult all the people you want, and when they scream "YOU'RE DEAD PUNK", you can just smile and say "I know."

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