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February 20, 2006
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I always thought running out of air would be a diver's worst nightmare. Who knew?
Posted by: Federal Duck | February 20, 2006 at 09:35 AM
"At one point, you can see squid try to eat a scuba diver, but are repelled when they clasp onto the armor, Buttner said."
Excuuuuse me, Mr. BUTTner, but how do you know I'd be repelled? I might be delighted. (God, I hate critics!)
Posted by: Betsy | February 20, 2006 at 09:38 AM
Also,
Craig Buttner. Heh.
Posted by: Federal Duck | February 20, 2006 at 09:39 AM
Nothing worse than having testicals all over you when your 60 feet below the surface.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 09:40 AM
What are "softball-chunk sized bites"?
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | February 20, 2006 at 09:43 AM
"softball-chunk sized bites" are the soft nougaty part of the human body. Not to be confused with the hardball bony bites, which are crunchy and not so sweet.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 09:47 AM
TRWC and Coast...double *snork* :)
Posted by: Betsy | February 20, 2006 at 09:50 AM
"softball-chunk bites" WBAGNFARB
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 10:09 AM
LOL 'Dancing with the Demons'
CR: since when do squid have testicals (is it testicles?)?
*snorks* to all.
Posted by: daisymae | February 20, 2006 at 10:11 AM
As commented later:
Wildlife tales: "While driving near Dixon, I saw a jackrabbit sitting upright in an alfalfa field. A red-tailed hawk was circling and then dove straight for the rabbit. Just before the hawk made contact, the bunny jumped up and knocked the hawk out of the air with its hind legs.
"This feild is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no hawk yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty hawks lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth."
... good times.
Posted by: kibby F5™ | February 20, 2006 at 10:15 AM
Yeah daisy - Its hard to spell correctly with one hand.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 10:23 AM
"Armored wetsuits"? Uh...doesn't that cause a buoyancy problem?
"Well, Chip, that hungry pack of giant squid were repelled by my armored wetsuit."
"Great, Bill! We'll get you up as soon as we can borrow that crane from the oil rig."
Posted by: Guin | February 20, 2006 at 10:23 AM
"Dancing With The Demons" . . .Really! Hmm . . . and here I thought that the best taped re-run available in this category was episode three of "Dancing With the Stars."
Posted by: herb | February 20, 2006 at 10:26 AM
*SNORK* at Guin...
and it's "tentacles", not "testicles", you dirty little monkeys.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | February 20, 2006 at 10:27 AM
Pack Leader: Lemons?
Pack: Check!
Leader: Breadcrumbs?
Pack: Check!
Leader: Marinara?
Pack: Check!
Leader: Excellent. Let's roll. We've waited a long time for this....
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 20, 2006 at 10:30 AM
Mr. C: LOL (I was wondering where the testicles came from)
Posted by: daisymae | February 20, 2006 at 10:47 AM
No worries kibby, I've got the Holy Hand Grenade. Whether or not it will work on a giant squid I don't know, but personally I'd throw the vicious bunny at the squid first, then send Dick Cheney in for the sure kill and save the grenade in case Jack Bauer takes aim at my thigh.
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Also as seen further on down...
"The best protection against rattlesnakes is a crotchety old chuck-wagon cook who wakes you up with the four clicks of a Colt Peacekeeper and the whispered suggestion that you hold real still (also works for scorpions)."
This technique does NOT work when employed in bed with your spouse, no snakes (or scorpions) are around, and you're just trying to "spice" things up..... I think the real problem was the crotchety old chuck wagon cook.... real mood killer.....
Posted by: russell | February 20, 2006 at 11:11 AM
OOOHHHHH - I read that Completely wrong Mr!! Thanx for clearing that up for me!
"You know - octopus - testicles"
"N-T - TENTacles ... Big difference"
Geezer points to the one who knows the movie.
(Hint - "Two Dollars!!")
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 11:12 AM
better off dead.
Posted by: crossgirl | February 20, 2006 at 11:26 AM
Yeah, I'd think an attack of these things would make a diver wish his air had run out ... for a few seconds, at least ... until it was ... um ... over ...
(Those "other comments" are interesting, if one can ignore the false information, typos, usage errors and simplistically selfish lack of knowledge in some of the items ... merely sayin' ...)
Posted by: U.O | February 20, 2006 at 11:41 AM
crossgirl gets the geezer points!! Still ranks as Cusacks funniest role. (IMHO)
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 11:51 AM
hey raven, if i collect enough geezer points, can i trade up for valuable prizes?
Posted by: crossgirl | February 20, 2006 at 12:45 PM
I am going to guess that some adults here have seen certain Anime shows. Might I say to you all. Ew. I also find it amusing that San Francisco is getting invaded by Tentacles.
Anyway, I will watch the Dancing with the Demons video. I have an odd fascination for the cephlopod. I hear they enjoy rearanging furniture.
Will Frodo have to battle one of these?
Posted by: Alfred | February 20, 2006 at 12:52 PM
"dirty little monkeys"
dang it Mr. C! you made coffee come out my nose
Posted by: TCK | February 20, 2006 at 12:59 PM
Sure crossgirl - but all we have in the catalog at the moment are walkers, hearing aids, chair lifts and the like.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Mr. C was channeling Craig Ferrrrrguson. I looove it when he says 'dirrrty little monkeys.'
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2006 at 02:33 PM
I also thought of the white rabbit and the Holy Grenade when I read about the rabbit and the bird.
"Thou shalt tap the raven once, not twice, not three times, not four times--only once." My apologies to both Poe and the other guy.
Posted by: Hanna | February 20, 2006 at 04:57 PM
I posted on this over 6 hours ago, and the earwig is STILL looping through my brain:
o/'' Hungry Like the Squid..o/'
(whatever happened to Duran Duran, anyway???)
Posted by: Betsy | February 20, 2006 at 05:05 PM
Betsy, I think the group is down to just one Duran these days due to a giant squid attack that took place in the band's San Francisco recording studio. The surviving Duran is in hiding, protecting his tentacles...
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 05:30 PM
CoastRaven -
Thanks ever so much for the lovely definition of "softball-chunk sized bites." BTW, I've noticed lately that the soft, nougaty part of my body has increased substantially relative to the crunchy part. I think I will definitely avoid those squids.
Mad Soapboxer -
The Holy Handgrenade will do you no good against Jack Bauer. Before you can count five (Three, sir!), er, three, he (Jack) will just use his cell phone to blow it (and you) up.
Posted by: qetzal | February 20, 2006 at 08:16 PM
Betsy I don’t think he has ever cared about civil liberties – he sees his
job as protecting us, not protecting our liberties.
Posted by: Amy | February 20, 2006 at 11:19 PM