FURTHER ADVENTURES IN FATHERHOOD
Today is my daughter's 6th birthday. Her mom is far away in Italy, but she of course prepared for today before she left, wrapping presents and so on. What she could NOT do was get the cupcakes. By federal law, when your kindergartener has a birthday, you have to take cupcakes in to the class so the class can get frosting smeared all over itself. My wife got the plates, napkins and boxed drinks ahead of time, but she could not get the cupcakes, and this is KILLING her, because it means she has to leave the getting of the cupcakes to me. And while she trusts me to deal with trivial matters such as the mortgage and the income taxes, she just KNOWS that I will somehow screw up the cupcakes. Since she left for the Olympics, we have had roughly 50 telephone conversations, and in those conversations she has said the word "cupcakes," I would conservatively estimate, 63,500 times. Because she does NOT want me to forget the cupcakes.
So in case she is reading this: Honey, I forgot the cupcakes. Sorry!
No, really: I GOT THE CUPCAKES. I ordered them from the Publix supermarket. I selected vanilla frosting with sprinkles and a gender-neutral little plastic happy-balloon ring gizmo stuck on top. I rejected the King Kong ring, even though I wanted it very much. That is the kind of sensitive and caring father I am.
UPDATE: The cupcakes were a big hit. Or, to be accurate, the cupcake frosting was a big hit. Turns out kindergarteners don't use the cupcake for anything other than a Frosting Delivery Platform (FDP). You could bring your frosting in on top of rocks, or pine cones, or tame (or frozen) squirrels, and the kids would just lick the frosting layer off and leave the naked FDP for you to dispose of.