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February 15, 2006

FUN COUPLE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Our advice is, do not eat the wedding cake.

Comments

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But I bet she still makes him stomp on the spiders that get into the house!

Wonder if she'll kill him after sex?

Unless those are the really dangerous, poisonous centipedes, she's too good for him!

People like them really bug me.

Not sure if I should put myself out of my misery, or put Lab out of my misery!
Worst pun of the day, & that's saying a lot here.

Intriguing, however, is the sidebar to the left, where the ad for Nokia promises to 'put you in the mood for lurve.'
wtf?

Thank you, John. I know you didn't mean it as a compliment, but I'm not all that worried about you. It's all about me, isn't it? *wink*

Is it just me, or does the Sun hijack your browser and make the "back" button fail.

This bothers me so much I go into Sally's office and accuse her of joining the camel pageant until she cries, ultimately leaving her pretzels unguarded.

It's not just me, right?

Lab - you're right - it is all about you

but seriously - shouldn't somethin' be done about this? I mean, these two are probably gonna breed offspring

Bugs! Why did it have to be bugs?

The best man made a few stinging remarks during his toast. The couple's honeymoon will be a protracted vacation with many legs.

(rimshot)

*still stuck on spiders scampering on the banana*

reporter: you're a centipede, she's a scorpion. will this mixed marriage work?

scorpiongirl: well, aren't we all just arthropods under the skin?

rep: any plans for children?

centipedeguy: oh yes, we plan to start right away

rep: do you want a boy or girl?

scorpiongirl: we don't care as long as it has the right number of legs. lots of them. and a stinger.

Does living with insects/arachnids make you sterile? Because I fear for their future children should they have any. Aren't these the same people who threatened to consummate the whole affair in a coffin? Why do I know this?

Unanswered questions about living in a glass cage with 3,400 scorpions:
·Who controls the remote?
·Top bunk or bottom bunk?
·Exactly how much Bactine would you need, exactly?

"No thanks. I had bugs for lunch."

RE Chicana's query - Whats the record for spending time with a paltry 3,000 scorpions?

I find the bugs less creepy than the couple...and a LOT more attractive.

Do you want flies with that?

I wonder who catered the reception, Terminix?

Don't scorpions eat there kids?

*SNORK* at everyone!

I gotta say, the piece is pretty poor journalism, since they didn't even mention the lobsters and prawns down the bride and groom's pants...

BTW, from past experience, I suggest that y'all not go indiscriminately clicking on things that seem interesting on the Sun's site if you are at the office...

I'm bettin' Mad Soapboxer clicked on "Page 3"

Key quote:
Bunthawee Siengwong who set a Thai record for enduring 28 days with 1,000 centipedes
So, in other words, there is someone in another part of the world who has spent more time and/or with more centipedes.

And what happens to the record if you step on one?

Whoo Hoo! I caught the bouquet! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

No, TCK, not this time... been there a few years ago and remembered, wherefore comest the warning... which actually is pretty astonishing now that I think about it, since I rarely remember ANYTHING that happened after the 60's (or before).

Now, what was I doing here?

It's like the daddy centipede counting its baby's legs:
" . . . 97, 98, 99, 100 . . . 1O1 . . .
It's a boy!"

Hey, if the bride does the dollar dance, the scorpions have handy little claws to hold the bills for her! Saves the dress.

is the record based on the number of centipede-days endured? 'cause i'm 17,778 days old and if i had endured just 2 centipedes for all that time, i'd be way ahead of 28,000 centipede-days endured...

*breaks out calculator* (The Matheletes in high school let me hang around, but they weren't so keen on letting me compete.)

Insom! You're just a spring chicken! Practically a hatchling! And--married! So... married... [huffy sigh]

Niiiice thorax!

Blue--huge snork!

The bride thinks they are "in for a challenge."

Understatement of the century. The old saw is that there are never just two in a bed, but also parents, grandparents, past lovers, etc., figuratively, of course.

So these two bring human history, plus 8,943 critters?

What was that song, "Creepy Crawlers, Great Balls of Fire!"

Hey! The same ten losers post about 45 messages on behalf of a very unfunny hack. Are you all his family and employees?

What year was the last time Dave Barry was remotely funny? Hint: It was in the previous century.

LF, I bow to the brilliance of your logic. The lead has left my pencil and the spiders have scampered off my banana. I realize I'm a crushed and broken human being (not bean).

So...LF...you're here reading this because...????

"I like him and I like it that we both are up for a real challenge."

By this I assume she means their marriage.

LF - Thanks for raising the bar for the rest of us! You're a laugh riot.

So which of the 1,000 centipedes is this LF person? Obviously not a scorpion, that barb had zero sting whatsoever.

This blog is doing wonders for my diet. In other words...


EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Maybe these Creepy people should Crawly over and turn a new LF.
Or maybe they should get a better recipe for Spaghetti.

so which 10 of us are the 10 losers?

I'm just curious, cuz if I was gonna wander in where I'm not wanted and start callin' people losers, I'd at least have the balls not to do it anonymously

LF--yes, we are his family.

How long have you been so angry, and what do you take for your ulcer?

Me neither TCK. I'd use Dave's email address!

I get the feeling that "Loser Fans" is actually the (not so) great Michael Moore. Jealousy rears its ugly head because someone can actually be funny without being mean (ugly gut, and multiple chins raised as well).

*SNORK*@LF! Welcome to the blog, man! Break out the Pulitzer.....

Ok, I'm back. Had to take out the trash. It took me a while 'cause loser fan was a double-bagger.

Two trolls in two days. Dave must be getting popular. Now if only I had some trolls.

Articles like this just make me feel so "normal".
NOT!!

Hi PETER! Fancy meeting you here!

LF - you are not VF, so why don't you GH!

Annie - thanks for bagging that piece of trash.

Now, back to the thread: At least this story, unlike the worm-eyed lady and the pencil-penis man, is true.

Hey SM, those stories MUST be true (while LF is a figment of his own imagination)! I read them on the Internet! Don't be dissin' the source of all wisdom (not to mention lunacy). Well, at least all MY wisdom... oh... hold on, maybe that explains a few things.... never mind! Forget I said anything.

We have several trolls on the imdb Serenity board, this one pales in comparison.

I forgot to comment on the thread.

With thanks to Aunt nancy.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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