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February 19, 2006

FORGET MUTUAL FUNDS

You want to be in tiger poo.

(Thanks to everyone)

Comments

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Didn't you post this one already? Or did I read it somewhere else? Obviously everybody else read it somewhere or I wouldn't be first....

Considering my last investment tip turned out to be bull poo...

With a four year old in the house, Tigger-Pooh repellent would be much more valuable to me.

Kind of reminds me of the time my boyfriend managed to convince me that my Tiger Balm was made of tiger excrement. The smell is gross, but it's really just menthol and camphor. But he had me "eeeew"-ing away from Tiger Balm for MONTHS.

OK, back to real topic.

deja poo

It's grrrreat!

But you'll only profit if you can manage to scare the sh!t out of a tiger without getting maimed.

What kind of school do you have to go to to get a "Tiger Poo Harvester" degree?

I'm going to trail some of this around my property and see if it keeps the Jehova's Witnesses from knocking on my door 3 times a week.

I'm thinkin' if I spray a good dose a this stuff on my 16 year old daughter evrey time she leaves the house, it should repel some of those guys that are always sniffin' around here

TCK~ There are better ways to go about that which won't lead to her calling the child abuse hotline.

MartiniShark~ Have you ever seen the Far Side comic captioned "The Blob family at home?" Three of them in a living room, and you can see a couple coming up the walk through a window, and the father says, "Jehovah's Witnesses! Everybody act like beanbag chairs!" My aunt once invited a pushy Jehovah's Witness to come to a service the southern Baptist church she attends. He didn't bother her anymore.

*at the southern Baptist church...

Oh, great!

If they develop this stuff so that it repels weeds, I'm out of a job ... unless ... I can switch over to the "poo collection" department of our company ...

I'm picturing a pair of kangaroos on the doorstep, with copies of "Watchtower" in their pockets...

Bumble-
I thought that inviting him to "service" the Baptist Church was much funnier!

Bumble - I already tried shootin' over their heads, but then the cops come, and then out comes the handcuffs and the breathalyzer, and there's all those questions to answer...

TCK~ Again, there are better ways. My uncle suggests chaining daughters in their rooms till they reach their twenties (thankfully he's got two sons and no daughters) but that might also count as child abuse. My dad never had to use any means to keep the boys away from me. They stayed away on their own, with one or two exceptions that I drove away myself. I'll think on this and get back to you.

Actually, this is a pretty darn good idea... at least the part about keeping the boys away from my 16yo.

...although as I clicked "Post" I thought, they're probably not bright enough to discern what the smell is, or that it's 'danger' or that it's not their own scent...

Well, if the fathers of all them young boys out there would follow the Mark Twain philosophy of raising male children, the fathers of young girls wouldn't hafta be so concerned and such ... merely sayin' ...

pst, U.O. .. Mark Twain philosophy?

As closely as I can cite/quote, from memory ...

"A boy should be put into a barrel soon after he is born. He can be fed through the bunghole. When the boy turns 18, drive in the bung."

ah. a liberal.

Interestingly enuf ... yeah, I'd hafta agree that Twain was a Liberal ... he certainly was more tolerant of "differences" -- at least the meaningless type -- than most of American "civilization" of his time ...

OK, I finally have an item I submit posted on the Blog and here I have to share the credits with "Everyone". [sigh]

Anyway, I'm starting a discount (ok, knock-off) "poo" operation to undercut the cost of tiger poo and cash in on someone else's idea plus simultaneously take advantage of the copius amount of poo generated by the herd of cats I have at the house. Even though the only thing they act predatorially (was that a word before now?) towards is what is in their (not there, not they're) food bowls, I figure I can develop sufficiently safe claims to avoid prosecution: "Guaranteed to repel uncommon pests! If kangaroos ever penetrate the protection around your house in the US lower 48 states, we will give you double your money back." I'm sure El will help me make the fine print bulletproof (not to be confused with birdshot-proof).

U.O - Twain's advice might be more relevant today if the boy-child were fed thru the corkhole, since whatever he's fed is sure to come out the bunghole. Of course, with many of today's parents, teachers, most of the media, every music genre (except Country and Classical) and many role models being what they have become, we can probably expect to see: Garbage In=Garbage Out

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