« Previous | Main | Next »

February 23, 2006

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE DAY SO FAR

OK, you want to steal a toilet seat, so you pose as... a reporter for the New York Times!

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

or Gene Shalit ...

Wow, I thought the Times paid better than that!

I hear that's how Maureen Dowd gets all her toilet seats.

"The men said it was the first time they had stolen toilet seats, although the police report showed the clinic had lost three of the seats recently."

A rash of toilet seat thefts?

"They must have falsified the identity cards."


ya think???????????

Given his "LIBERAL use of expletives," maybe he did work for the Times.

No, Pogo,

A rash FROM toilet seat thefts!

Actually with the way things have been going at the times lately this is not such a bad thing.

A Tangerangian in "a New York state of mind, speaking in broken English, including liberal use of expletives."
I wonder if this story will show up in the NY Times. Then Paul Napitupulu would probably say that that PROVES he works for them!

Why? I just want to know why?

Maybe the city is in a competition to become The Hover Pee Capital of the World?

The cops are stymied. They claim they have nothing to go on.

He was yelling "YOU &%#!!! HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON!!!"

I wonder if these are the same guys who took the toilet that Mrs Blog falied to sit on yesterday!

(Nodding affably at MC)

*thumbs up* to Mr C & JT

He was yelling so much that he became flushed.

"Paul seemed to be unaware that the U.S. daily's only magazine is its Sunday edition."

Does this imply that the others (clinic workers, etc.) knew that the New York Times Magazine was a weekly? Why would it matter?

Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to miami beach or hollywood.
Vandalizing toilets - ah that's my line-
I’m in a new york state of mind.

I've pooped with movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines,
squatted high in the rockies under the evergreens,
But I know what I’m needing and it's porcelain and white-
I’m in a new york state of mind.

It was so easy living with double-ply
Warm bidet stream to knock it loose
But now I need a little rougher wipe,
The new york times, the daily news...

It comes down to reality-and it’s fine with me ’cause I’ve let it slide,
Don’t care if it’s Crane or Kohler,
I don’t have any reasons, I’ve left them all behind-
I’m in a new york state of mind.

kudos and snickers to mudstuffin!

By the way, this is why, when reporters come to my house with their crazy allegations and wild insinuations, asking for a statement regarding the mangled puppy underwear line I'm selling, I never let them use my bathroom, unless they're cute.

Mud...sheer genius! esp. 'the NY Times; the Daily News' A big ol' platinum *SNORK* to start the day:)

In Jakarta toilet seats are a valuable resource. Most people just have to go on the ground, or in a hole. Many people dream of owning a toilet. As the toilets themselves are difficult to steal, the seats are often stolen instead. From a practicality standpoint, a toilet seat mounted directly to the ground isn't a perfect system, but it is an easy way for people to boost property values.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: The chicken teeth controversy rages on with yet more modifications to the poultry genome. Check out the thread for new information I got from attending the AAAS meeting over the weekend. I swear I am not making this up.

"...Denta Medika Klinik on Jl. Pasar Minggu Raya in South Jakarta."

Bet you can't say that three times fast. In fact, I daresay you can't say it once.

Coco! Coco-coco! Coco-coco-cococo? Coco? COCO!!!

Coco was trying to say: "Hover Pee" WBAGNFARB!

On the news I sit and squint.

Mud:

Brilliant, and thanks for a day-long earworm.

*applauds for Mud*
One of your best!! :)

Mr. C. - Didn't you use that same joke on a previous "toilet" thread a day or so ago?? We need new material!

Toilet Seat Rash WBAGNFARB?

Well, with all the crap they publish, it was a foregone conclusion!

El - Yes, I did. Good to see you were paying attention.

And it's not plagiarism if you're stealing from yourself... and besides, that line just HAD (HAD, I tell you) to be used for this story.

At least I didn't say "BOOGER".

*Holds lighter flame up for Mudstuffin!*
*Ducks minor explosion*

Mud's creation started me thinkin' ... I'm wonderin' if NEbuddy here knows whut "newspaper" would be reporting on a famous TV guy's herd of quadrupeds?

My guess is that it's gotta be the "Daily Gnus" ... merely sayin' ...

Maybe the "Buffalo Gnus"?

Well, technically the Wildebeeste is a member of the antelope clan ... um ... how about "Horny Gnus"?

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise