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February 21, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

We can't decide if this is a good thing, or a bad thing. Or even really a thing.

(Thanks to Addicted to 24)

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Was she maybe going to lend her face to the cover, or possibly sing on this album?

Of course, you can't. You report, we decide.

Um........

I should know to stay away from the bulletins by now. Sheesh.

’He hates his children, he treats his wife like dirt, he gets high all day,”’ he said..Are these lyrics from the CD?

‘Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife.”’

Thanks, but I'd rather not know.

"It's a good thing!"

Slap!

"It's a bad thing!"

Slap!

"It's a good thing!"

Slap!

"It's a bad thing!"

Really hard Slap!

"It's a good thing and a bad thing..." [sob]

Ew.

That is all.

We've already seen what you've done with your wife. Now maybe if you offered a free gallon of bleach for our eyeballs with the CD, then you might find buyers.

Well I think it's a good thing. Remove her fanbase (which would slavishly buy the album were she on it) and the sales will fall flat virtually guaranteeing no second album. In a perfect world, there would have been no debut album in the first place, but this is next best.

Referring to his website it was said that It got 2 million hits in eight days, he said, which proves there’s interest.

I have to wonder - how many of those hits were from people such as ourselves, who were sent there to laugh at him by people like Dave?

Dave, you're forgetting one important thing: My Highly Inaccurate and Totally Subjective Britney/Kevin Conspiracy Theory.

Part 1: There is NO WAY that Britney was thinking coherently when she allowed that thing to put his hoo-hoo in her whatsit. She was obviously whacked on a combination of Flintstones vitamins and NyQuil.

Part 2: Once pregnant, she faced a very small number of options:
A. She could play the young, unwed monther card, which would get more flak from the press than sympathy, thereby ruining her image (?) in the eyes of her #1 customers: the parents of Teenage Girls Who Are On Drugs Anyway.
B. Adoption is out of the question, 'cause she's rich and Angelina Jolie is full up at the moment.
C. Marry (pay off) the paternal yahoo and try to salvage some modicum of respectability (?) in the eyes of the carnivorous press.

Part 3: Kevin, being a opportunistic rapscallion of the roguish variety, knew he could leverage this situation into a payoff, and possibly a record deal. He holds the cards while she is on a 9 month deadline, and so they probably ink a marriage contract heavily in his favor.

Part 4: Since marriages in the entertainment industry last as long as the flavor of Big League Chew(tm), Britney knew she could divorce him soon afterwards and the public wouldn't blame her just because, I mean, jesus, LOOK at him.

Part 5: He now has the money and a recording contract, her career is in decline and her priorities are changing, so she decides to hold out. He, on the other hand, sees distancing himself from her as a positive move. If she can hold on to the Good Mom image long enough to get on a treadmill once or twice and put down the lattes, she might be able to get another vapid album shoved down the public trachea. Meanwhile, he smokes pot and eats Fritos on the couch.

The tug of war continues. He excludes her from his first album, she continues to harangue him in the tabloids, their marriage holds strong through the bonds of greed. It plays out like trailer park Shakespeare. And Dave continues keeping us posted. Thanks Dave.

"Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife.”


Good thing about the respect condition.
We really don't need another "I'll show you what
ve done with my wife" tapes.

Fed - Have I told you lately what a frikkin' genius you are?

I think K-Federal Duck has to be trusted on this one.

He's got sources, people.

Isn't K-Fed the rap equivalent of William Hung? We go to his website to mock, laugh and revel in it much the same as we could not turn away from She Bangs as sung by a non musically inclined, heavily accented, off key asian. Because it is hard to look away from a train wreck.

‘Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife.'

We respect you. Now lets see that porn flick you directed starring your wife and the hobbit guy from 24.

‘Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife.'

We respect you. Now lets see that porn flick you directed starring your wife and the hobbit guy from 24.

i can see Sean Preston from here thank you very much.

WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO the all mighty blog posted my email. Life is good even with a K-Fed album on the horizon.

Nice to see that K-Fed wore his Sunday-Best (painting clothes) to the awards party.

Eventually, the entire K-Fed/Twitney thing will become an ABC movie of the week. Rosanne Barr can have the role of "washed up Britney", but what has-been actor should play K-Fed?

You'd think with all that money, he'd be able to buy a new pair of pands, and she'd be able to get something taylored that she wouldnt step on in public.

"It plays out like trailer park Shakespeare."

*snork* at Fed. Like Taming of the Shrew gone dreadfully, dreadfully wrong?

Flintstones vitamins! Yay!

Sounds to me like some sort of sick new reality show - Celebrity Law and Order SVU:

"Take the death penalty off the table, er, I mean, respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife."

Federal Duck,

Brilliant.

Simply brilliant.

Elizabeth

198 people rated that article on a scale of one to ten stars. At the moment the average is 1(one)[uno]. And that's because it's hard to get lower than a one. (I tried; and it told me I'd voted for a half-star, which seems kind of appropriate, actually)

"Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife."

Yes, because brainwashing abilities that powerful need to be shared

If K-Fed brainwashed Twitney, he would have given up during the spin cycle.

I guess I don't have to point out Addicted to 24 sent in this tripe, knowing full well The Blog would be unable to resist elevating it to thread-dom. Where's El's posse when we really need'em:?)

"He has released his single 'PopoZao' on his Web site. It got 2 million hits in eight days, he said, which proves there’s interest."

Oh no. It appears the blog is encouraging him.

He keeps touting those 2 million hits. Which, if there is any justice left in the world, will be the only actual hits he will ever have.

What he doesn't seem to comprehend (among a lot of other things he doesn't seem to comprehend) is that people were visiting his site to hear just how incredibly lame PopoZao is. People like to laugh at lame "celebrities." But actually buying his album? That's another matter entirely.

"It plays out like trailer park Shakespeare."

*snork* at Fed. Like Taming of the Shrew gone dreadfully, dreadfully wrong?

Posted by: Joy | 03:05 PM on February 21, 2006

Yeah, or mebbe Merchant of Venice goes Valley ...

But Daddy! it's ONLY a pound of flesh!

OH, MY Daughter! OH ... my Twinkies™!

Your theory is great, Fed, except for the fact that she can't really play the "Good Mom" card because she was recently photographed driving around with the kid in her lap, neither of them wearing seatbelts! Of course, she won't be charged since she's a celebrity and therefore above the law that only applies to us commoners.

BTW, isn't that dress she is wearing bee-yoo-ti-ful?! According to a popular magazine, she designed it herself! Maybe if her singing career goes down the toilet, she can start designing dresses for untalented white trash mothers!

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