BREAKING NEWS IN SOUTH FLORIDA

Be on the lookout.

Comments

[Nameless Wonder]

This happened at my old college once. We never did get around to stealing those Cattle Crossing signs.

[bbescuela]

"The cows apparently escaped from their pen." Nice detective work Barney. You can put your bullet away now.

[nicole]

"Feb. 2, 2006: Several cows ran loose down University Drive in Davie Thursday evening."
That was the caption for photo 1. Anyone notice the problem with this statement? The cows seem to be doing less running and more wandering about just generally being bovines, animals who don't run even if their life depends on it.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

When did Davie start keeping their cows in pens? I'm surprised anyone noticed.

I bet when they were taken into custody, those cows were mad!

[nicole]

We had cows roaming around my old campus (UC Santa Cruz) too, but that's because there was an active ranch on campus. We also had deer, banana slugs, and countless squirrels, one of which was some weird mutant squirrel the size of a small dog.

[Sarah J]

Go Slugs!

[nicole]

Are you a fellow slug?

[mcwhatshisface]

"Apparently, the cows had escaped..."

1. What were the other possibilities?
2. Isn't it a little more than "apparent"
3. Did they plan it in advance?

[nicole]

Ah. Nevermind. I checked your blog Sarah. I see you are a Cougar. I have some friends who went to BYU. (And to answer the next question you were probably going to ask, no, I am not Mormon. I just have a lot of Mormon friends.)

[Sarah J]

I'm not a slug, but i like Santa Cruz. That was where we would go on the weekends. My favorite beach is called star something, it's kind of by the boardwalk, by the natural history museum.

[insomniac]

("Dancin' in the Street")
Comin' out around the herd
Are you ready for the new hoofbeats?
On Groundhog day, it's safe to say
There'll be bovines in the street!
In downtown Davie
And the Crawford ranch
On Survivor island

There'll be mooing
Sweet mooing
There'll be manure everywhere
Look at the tails swinging and udders swaying
and mooing in the street

It doesn't matter what you wear
Just as long as it's not suede
So come on every calf, steer or cow
You 'Brokeback' guys can join in now!

There is an inclination
Across the nation
To regard moo-cows as a tasty treat!
Amid hustling, bustling there's cattle rustling
Cows ambling in the street
All you folks in PETA
Get out your leather boots
People in Pamplona
Think that this is "cute"...

[Sarah J]

Hey, I think you might be the first person to visit my blog ever! I haven't actually told anyone about it and don't update it very often.

[Sarah J]

also related to b.slugs: I went on an overnight hike/camp when I was 14. We cooked dinner in dutch ovens and banana slugs climbed onto the coals on and around the ovens. It was sooooo gross. There were about 30 HUGE roasting slugs. And no, I didn't kiss any of them.

[nicole]

Woo hoo! Lol. I don't even link my blog here. Honestly, I wouldn't figure people would actually want to read it, but since I've used my MySpace blog I've gotten 1,000-some hits to my rambling bizarre postings.

[nicole]

Insomniac, I'm liking the song, by the way. Those cows sure know how to get down!

[Brad]

OK, reading Sarah's blog. Someone tell me... Why is it OK for her to want $100 heals for church, but not OK for guys to want $300 Nikes for whatever? See, I think both are just fine.

P.S. Go Anteaters!!

[Sarah J]

Oh, but I won't actually buy the $100 shoes. That's the difference. I'll actually buy a $20-40 pair when the faves have actually fallen apart and are no longer wearable.
Now that people are looking at my blog I'm going to feel obligated to update it occasionally or something.

[nicole]

Muwahahaha <--evil laughter
Come to the darkside, Sarah. Conform or die.
Muwahahaha <--more evil laughter

[Sarah J]

ok, ok, I updated. Pretty lame, but it's more about me and what I live with.

[nicole]

Is it sad that I get a lot of those jokes, and I'm not even Mormon? Oh, and why no "8 cow wife" jokes for this topic? I'm sure there's got to be a joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to come up with something (trying to lay off the caffeine these days and it's just been making me ridiculously tired).

[Annie Where-but-here]

May I be the FIRST to say, "*Snork!* at Insom!"

As a kid on a small farm, when the phone would ring at 3am, it meant only one thing - our cows were out, partying down the street. We kids had to go fetch them home. You haven't lived until you've followed behind a bunch of black angus in the middle of the night, their round bellies bouncing up and down as they jogged. That saying "'Til the cows come home" still makes me twitch.

[Laura (me)]

Hey! That happened about a mile from my house! Is it strange that I feel the reflected stardom of cows and Dave Barry (and judi of course)?

[Lairbo]

A bunch of stray goats tying up traffic figured into His Daveness's "Big Trouble". I smell a copyright infringement lawsuit. Well, at least I think that's what that smell is...

SarahJ,
Enjoyed your blog. My family was peppered with Utahans, some Mormon, some not. You should get a book contract for "You Know You're a Mormon When..."

[Christobol]

Quick tip to those who get stuck in traffic due to a cow invasion.

I'm sure you've heard about the gov't spending kazillions of dollars researching cow-flatulance, its impact on ozone depletion, and potential for energy delivery.

So - if you find yourself in the traffic jam, and you happen to have a suitable length of surgical tubing, you can run said tubing between a cow's rear and your gas tank.

It won't help your car run or anything, but you can do it.

[CoastRaven]

Caption # 2 - "Police cruisers followed the cows southbound on University Drive near Griffin Road in police cruisers"
So are they saying that there were cows in police cruisers being followed by police cruisers? This caption and the fact that this warrented a "Breaking News" team on the scene shows me that the news crew is at least as slow as the subject of the story (The cows not the cops).

[judi]

laura: you're from davie? have we met? ;)

[Blue Meanie]

"Police cruisers followed the cows southbound on University Drive near Griffin Road in police cruisers". Sure are proud of their police cruisers there in Davie, aren't they?

Sounds like a case for William Safire's Squad Squad.

[Blue Meanie]

*Curses - scooped by the CoastRaven*

Muttermuttermuttermutterrefreshmutter

[Bill]

Memo to caption writers: Cows don't "escape." If they're not where humans want them to be, it's because humans fail to contain them properly. Cows just go where their nose takes them until they hit a barrier (much like supermodels).

And why do I always have to be the one who says this news is udderly ridiculous? Do I have to do all the work around here?

[Blue Meanie]

Cheese, Bill, you're right. We should all be milking this for all it's worth. We'll try and do butter.

[CoastRaven]

Ya gotta get to work earlier than five minutes late in the morning to beat me to the punch BM. (Not quite as impressive as "Ya gotta get up pretty early...", but thats when I usually stroll in)

[Blue Meanie]

Coast - Any punch left?

[Ernie G]

"Sounds like a case for William Safire's Squad Squad."

Or the Department of Redundancy Department.

[LucyVanPelt]

Don't know if Coast has any punch...however
How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

[«LabSpecimen»]

judi: I know someone named Davie. Have we met? Oh yeah, tell Laura I love her.

[Texas]

"Department of Redundancy Department" or "William Safire's Squad Squad" WBAGNFARB.

[«LabSpecimen»]

C-bol: It's not the cow's flatulence that we are worried about. It's their eructations. Just FYI.

[Blue Meanie]

Lucy - I'm looking for a punch with a kick. Got anything a little stronger?

Am I right? Am I right?

*PS-luv yer email addy*

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Insom-I'll be singing that all day.
(I knew I should have stayed up a little later. That would have been worth it.)

[CoastRaven]

Just enuff punch to get through the day for all of us - hell its Payday Friday - my treat!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Holy crap (so to speak), Judi! We were there! We saw them! Well, one of them anyway. We were at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood and I got turned around when we left. I made a u-turn at University and Jackie said "what is that cow doing there?"

I guess we should have waited around for the Breaking News Crew.

[Eleanor]

Cows! Why did it have to be cows?????

[LucyVanPelt]

Punch for Blue Meanie, be sure to share...

*blushing* and thanks for the compliment on my addy

[Blue Meanie]

Aaaahhhhhh.......(slurp). Thanks, Lucy. Here's yer nickel.

*Heads over to Coast's for comparative taste test*

[Mad Soapboxer]

When I was a University student there were ALWAYS cows wandering around the area. I even dated some of 'em...

I'm chagrined that so many of you have commented on the repetitive redundancy in that caption though... you've already hit on all of the sorry puns that I would have posted.... I was particularly moooved by Blue's triple-header, though...

[southerngirl]

*snorks* for C-bol and CoastRaven, and CR, please translate - hell its Payday Friday - my treat!!

Does this mean you'll be sending everyone paychecks?

[CoastRaven]

No I am buyin the punch with the vast sums of money I have leftover after taxes, and a car payment, and rent, and credit card, and insurance, and therapy, and ... oops. I am tapped out now guys, sorry.

[Betsy]

Coast...once again I'm left with a fragment on my clipboard because you got there first. But since I still have to get rid of it, here ya go:
Police cruisers followed the cows southbound on University Drive near Griffin Road in police cruisers, trying to corral the animals.
(I thought maybe the cruisers were being driven in bigger cruisers to save gas or something, though.)
Lab...thanks for handling the eructation v. flatulence clarification. It would definitely require an extremely large face-mask in addition to yer run of the mill surgical tubing.
and, of course, Insom...*snork*, as always.

[daisymae]

Annie WBH "when the phone would ring at 3am, it meant only one thing - our cows were out, partying down the street."

Brings to mind the old saying, "It's midnight, do you know where your cows are?"

Judi: I was driving home from work last night on Sheridan St. approaching University, when I heard the announcement on the news...didn't see any cows (or police), but the announcer said the cows were up on Griffin & University. Not far.

(excited about being close to a breaking news story that didn't involve a shooting or police chase)

[daisymae]

Insom & Blue Meanie: *SNORK*

♪"...mooing in the street."♪

[ScottMGS]

Blue: Here's a little kick/punch action.

Re: Cows - I had some friends who used to live near the center of town in Mendon, UT. Their lot was a little less than an acre of land. One evening (midnight+?), my friend B. heard some crunching outside the livingroom window. She went out and found the neighbor's cows dining in high style in the garden. She started yelling to scare the cows away. She used a selection of profanities that even cows might understand. P., her husband, called the neighbors to tell them their cows were loose. The neighbor said, in a laconic drawl, "Yup, heard the fuss."

[Blue Meanie]

SMGS - can't believe it took all this time for someone to make that connection; I figured that would be the first reaction.

*Snork* at your story.

[ScottMGS]

Blue - I would have made it earlier but I didn't read it 'till just now.

"Yup, heard the fuss." has been a snork-inducing phrase in our household for a long time. Thanks for the on-line *snork*.

[Ford79]

I swear I am not making this up.

Many years ago, I lived in a Midwestern university town. I won’t identify it, except to say it rhymes with Churbana, Chillinois. One fine morning, on the way to catch an early flight, Mrs. Ford and I observed a cow wandering down one of the city streets. We watched in amazement as it was pursued by a police cruiser and, I kid you not, a TOW TRUCK. (Warning lights spinning full blast on both car and truck.) Cow and attendant vehicles turned a corner and were lost to sight.

For the rest of my life I’ll regret not sticking around to see how Barney and Gomer lassoed and corralled that wayward cow with a tow truck.

[Annie Where-but-here]

We were rounding up our angus escapees once near, of all places, the local reptile institute. My mom apologized to the owner about our cows getting out on his property and he said (IANMTU!), "That's ok - it happens all the time with my snakes."

[Blogchik the Indlovukazi]

*snorks* at insom

and Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[AlanBoss]

*snork*@insom! You outdid yourself on this one!

So, do you think maybe the cows were heading for California? (Are those commercials national, or just a Cali thing?)