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February 25, 2006

BEVERLY, MASS., CAN ONCE AGAIN REST EASY

Justice is meted out to the Toilet Paper Avenger.

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I'm chasing CoastRaven's record ;-)

OH MY GOD! I WENT to Briscoe Jr High (Go Tigers!)

'Course, that was back in the "olden days" - when you had to bring your own Sears catalog to school to wipe yourself!

O’Meara glued dispensers shut
Doo-dah, doo-dah
T.P. Avenger, he’s a nut
O the doo-dah day

Super Glue at night
Fail to sell all day
T.P. Avenger has been caught
O the doo-dah day

Couldn't they have sentenced him to three years hard labor as a gas station bathroom attendant?

... um ... Shut?

In my many and varied travels, I don't seem to recall a TP dispenser that hadda be opened ... I'm sorta wonderin' ... how? ... and, WTD, of course ...

Well he lost the paper contract, but he has the superglue contract sealed up.

KDF - you'll have to get up pretty early in the morning to... oh wait - nevermind.

Me, too U.O. I can't figure out what was glued (the toilet paper?) or what was shut. Unless he glued the holders shut so no paper could be put in them...just guessing.

well, in my office bldg, we have 5 stalls in the ladies room on my floor. SO what - well, 3 of them are ordinary tp dispensers. the other two, and i am not making this up - one says:"kimberly clark Professional", and the other - Kimberly clark executive.
they all do the same thing. they look like the other 3. my question is - i could understand 'executive', because maybe, just maybe its a higher class of dispenser, or, well, they probly just paid more for it. But PROFESSIONAL??
anybody needs a degree for this?? yeah, the executives.
in either case, it had me laughing, and i had to tell my coworkers, and we all had some very good suppositions about why anybody needs a professional tp dispenser.... trust me, it was funny.
but the tp in the office is worse than Sears catalog pages, so i dont understand.
maybe this tp guy had a good case. bwaaahhaa.

Please, people... a round of applause for MOTW's excellent TP Avenger song.
Well, it made me *snork*! Thanks, MOTW!

Punkin, er, Poo - when you had to bring your own Sears catalog to school to wipe yourself!
I'm sincerely sure your story has absolutely nothing to do with the second part of your name.

You're welcome, MiK. I dare you not to hum that earwig the next time you're in the loo.

U.O. - have you never seen this type of dispenser? Good grief, man, where have you been? (wait - don't answer that - just a rhetorical question.) Some dispensers.

Hrrm.. I get a blank page. I will assume this is the follow up to the man who lost the TP contract at some high school or other and went on a vandalism spree.

Me too KOW, I think we've been scammed!!

By Dave?? He wouldn't do that, would he?

The link was to a Salem newspaper and just had headlines down the right side.:(

If Christobol is around - it's been a while since I've begged you for a picture, but I'm beggin you now. Come up with some sort of Super Hero for T.P. Avenger (bonus points if you use Ted Happy-Grabber's head).

queens - I'm thinking that the un-professional, un-executive version is just the plain tp dispenser.

The professional version includes installation instructions and schematics for disassembling and repairing the dispenser.

The executive version, on the other hand, comes with a poster for the inside of the stall door on how to utilize the synergies to productize the commodity (commode-ity?) to increase throughput.

MOTW -

I've been in the Men's Room -- whirr have yew bin?

(HA! Just kidding.) Of course I've seen these ... my befuddlement (beyond "normal" parameters, natcherly) is merely wonderin' how one might "glue it shut" ... so to speak ... (Reporter shoulda had more details ...)

"Increase throughput" ... in a Toilet/BM story/thread ... *SNORK*

Bah! I went to college in Beverly. Oh dear.

Jared,

Endicott or Gordon??

I got the blank page too. No Avenger, although I did click on the police blotter, which reports a woman arrested for assault with a coffee table.

What Montserrat Doesn't count. No, it was Endicott.

We are a church made up of individuals who Welcome Everyone. Doesn’t matter what you wear, look like, the color of your hear, your orientation or identification. What matters to us is that want to share in our community!

Boogers, I get a blank page too. (Maybe they had to use the page for toilet paper?)

I can only hope that the desperate criminal doesn't make his way down to my neck of the woods.

blank page. n I ain't subscribin' ta squat! .. uh..
nevermind

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