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February 25, 2006

AND STILL THE SO-CALLED "UNITED NATIONS SECURITY COUNCIL" DOES NOTHING

Britney caught K-Fed sleeping at Shar's in his man-panties.

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First

Could have been worse. Could have been HER man-panties.

"man panties"...what are those? (pictures required)

Jefferson Reid asks "who wants to see Kevin Federline sleeping in his man-panties on the couch at Shar Jackson's place?"

Something tells me (the fact that he's the one who asked) that it's Jefferson Reid who wants to see K-Fed in his man-panties. Also, who the heck is Jefferson Reid? Not that I give a rat's ass, I'm just curious that he's not identified, as if we should all know him.

I'll bet the producers of that Jessica Simpson show now realize that they picked the wrong set of newlyweds to put on TV.

Can't the aliens hurry back and take Britney and K-Fart back home where they belong?

this story has everything I need to start the day right: Britney, K-Fed in his shorts, and kiddie-puke as an explanation.

excuse me while I leave the planet until this all passes.

"Kevin and Shar tried to reassure Britney that one of the kids had puked on Kevin's clothes, so Shar was washing his duds, but Britney stormed off.

Kevin reportedly frantically chased her all the way home and eventually convinced her she had overreacted."

What's so unusual about this scenario? Doesn't this happen to you guys, like, every day? Nothing keeps a romance alive like puked-on duds and a frantic car-chase.

And by the way, K-Pea-for-Brains must have driven home wearing only the man-panties, right? Isn't this even more newsworthy?

so not only did Syerra and I simulpost, but we were both operating at the level of disgust where the cosmos have to be called into play. See? There is no earthly explanation OR solution for this.

(OH GOD HELP ME - I have made a Shaggy parody! I feel like I need to shave.)

Brittney caught me in my boxas. - (It wasn’t me!)
Saw me nappin on the sofa. - (It wasn’t me!)
I had my trousers in the washa. - (It wasn’t me!)
My kids threw up upon my trousas. - (It wasn’t me!)

She tried to call me on my telly. - (It wasn’t me!)
Heard my voice mail and raised helly. - (It wasn’t me!)
She came on over to the villy. - (It wasn’t me!)
Then she saw me in man pantes!!!

Britney came in...and she caught me red-handed.
Sleepin on Shar's velour.
Picture this...nobody's buck naked.
or even awake no more.


I had tried to keep her...from seein me in man panties.
Why should she believe me?
When I told her...It wasn’t me!

Jennifer Cox?

Jennifer Cox!?!?!?

This has gotta be true ... nobuddy could make up stuff like this ... merely sayin' ...

U.O., we will miss you during your sabbatical to Internetlessness Land...

Merely sayin'

*poof*

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest: A Real-Life Tragedy.

Dumb = K-Fed
Dumber = Twitney
Dumbest = You and me for reading this crud

PS. Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston must have gotten married, who knew?

"man-panties" sound like something you use to intentionally scare others...

"man panties"...what are those? (pictures required)

Nooooo!!!!! For the love of God, No!!!!!!!

She apparently had no problem with the man-bra he was wearing.

Uh, it's not a "man-bra", it's a "bro".
I should know.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse in the world and I was beginning to get over my depression...

"who wants to see Kevin Federline sleeping in his
man-panties....."

NOT RAISING MY HAND, NOT, NOT, NOT....

For those requesting pictures . . . (I wouldn't click on that if I were you).

You clicked, didn't you?

There's a lady who's cold where the tabloids are sold
And she's tired of reading 'bout Kevin
When she checks out she knows, that the pictures are posed
And the words are at second-grade level.
And she's tired of reading 'bout Kevin!

You see a car wreck, you pray, but you can't look away,
So you still waste your time with his highjinks
He's got kids, he can't count, but the exact amount
Is beyond comprehension, so he thinks

There's a feeling he gets ,thinking of women he's left
That half of the species' for using
His talents must lie somewhere near hip and thigh
If it's not sad, it must be amusing
and it makes me wonder...

If there's a tussle in his trailer, he'll regale her
With some story about kid's puke
If Britney believes him or if she leaves him
In the long run, his career is hers to the bitter end!

As we feel morals erode
Our mockery can't help but leave us cold
There's a lady we all know
Who cannot write and barely crow
And though her every word is gold
If you listen very hard
She is learning he's a 'tard
When she's alone and not a joke
And can rejoin the decent folk!

And even she's tired of hearing about Kevin!

You know, I've never known that "kids puked on my clothes" excuse to work -
just sayin'

But if you want to see the Mother of All Excuses, click here and watch the video for "Misunderstood". I know I've linked to this before, but it just slays me with hilarity.

MKJ, I did not click, because I trust you to warn me of potentially dangerous and disgusting things.

Oh, and igloo, according to John Hargrave, it's actually a "boob noose." I just used "man-bra" for consistency sake.

El - I wish I could watch it but it won't play on a non-M$Windows computer.

daisymae - for a mental image of man-panties imagine women's bikini-style panties without (usually) any lace or feminine color schemes or print designs. They don't have a, um... doowaddle hole in front, either.

Good luck U.O - Come back soon.

Sorry Scott, but it can't be described because it's
1 - a Bon Jovi song
2 - a video that tells a story
3 - words printed at the bottom that describe what the guy in the video is doing.

Welcome to another episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Skanky.

ScottMGS-No doowaddle hole! So they're kind of like speedos, I guess. *tapping chin and imagining anyone but K-Fed in a speedo*

*snork* at bbescuela for man-bro

Eleanor-I'm w/you. I guess when you get caught "man pantied" you'll say the first thing that comes to mind!

and *snork* at Dave way, way up there.

El- I'll have to check it out at work.

Lisa- Yeah, a Speedo but as underware instead of swimware. (I knew you would know what a dowaddle was.)

Loudest snork here at "TWITNEY." Good one.

Too bad her talent outsized her self-esteem. No lady with any of that would put up with this guy, let alone allow him to talk her out of "over-reacting."

My guy wants some of the soft panties. But he will pass on the pink bow!

Scott - ;-)

if he was fooling around, then i think any incriminating smells could be covered up by having small children puke on said clothes and then wearing them home...

HOO-HAH!

(Oops. In the interest of bilingualism and the United Nations [cited @ the top of this thread] I guess I should try to do that with the Spanish spelling, eh?)

JOO-JAJ!

Guess whut I found, up here in NoCal among the canyons and pine trees and with Mt. Shasta as scenery outside my window ...

HIIGHSPEED! (OOPS again ...) JIGJSPEED!

I'm not marooned, NEway ... continue your fine work, bloglits ... I should be able to manage a few more days of sanity, with a little help from y'all ...

talk @y'all later

Oh gosh darn golly,

I hope Britney's faith in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour will bring her through these terrible times.

Jesus: "Don't drag ME into this. Haven't I done ENOUGH for you people!?! Talk to my Dad"

God: "Hey, I don't DO the miracle thing anymore. Besides, for this one I think you need Superman to spin the world backwards in time to the night Britney was conceived, and have Jack Bauer shoot her father in the thigh. Amen"

This dork is EXACTLY the kind of person to be sleeping in his skivvies on someone else's couch (or whatever). I wonder why the kid puked anyway. Really, you shouldn't share more than two bottles of Hennesey with your children, at least on an empty stomach.

Message to K-Freak:
What a punk, YOUR MARRIED TO BRITNEY SPEARS! Sure, she's not extremely smart, but hot! Sit at home, make your crappy albums, do some dishes, and chill! Why would you blow this opportunity? You have NO marketable skills! Just slow down for a moment and engage your one working neuron! YOU ARE THE KING OF ALL DOOFUS!

bbes: c'mon, you know you want to . . .

You tell him, adonis!

Why, if it were you.....!!!!

Dave,

According to the prenup, K-Fed is allowed to hang out (snork) wherever he wants in Britney's man-panties. It's just his that are restricted (snork).

YEAH! I'd sit my punk a$$ wherever she told me! I'd get a shave and find some clothes that half-way fit too. Crap, if pictures of us hurt her media image, I'd even make sure that no camera ever saw us together. I'd never make her pregnant, and I'd even listen to her music. Now THAT'S devotion.

If only I'd known that sooner, adonis.

*like, totally, like sigh*

That's why I'm called adonis. Also, I have mad Escapa skills, just sayin'.

MKJ, I ain't gonna do it...

Raise a glass for Don Knotts. Sob, I'll miss Barney.

Yeah, if anyone here disrespects Don Knotts, I'll give 'em the old one-two! Heck, I'll do better than that, where's my bullet? (pats every pocket on person four or five times)

Rest in Peace, Mr. Limpit.

K-fed and the Man Panties WBAGNFAB!

if someone puked on my clothes, and i was at someone else's home, i don't believe i would remove my clothes and take a nap semi-naked. but maybe that's just me.

*scraps THAT plan for getting judi naked and horizontal*

i hear you judi, but then we're not famous rock stars are we?

oops, neither is he.

YES I AM! Have you even heard of the hit single "popozao" that I mixed on Garageband, I mean in expensive studio?

I clicked on Mahatma KJ's link. I wish I hadn't.

judi and El: many times kids threw up on me, and I never stripped, much less at somebody else's house.

I've stripped at someone else's house before, but that was after I puked. I think tequilla was involved, I can't remember.

I wasn't askin' for pix, so I figgered I wuz exempt from MKJ's caveat ... whut's the big deal?

Looks as if the model put the plastic package the skivvies came in, inside the skivvies, so as to be more "impressive" ...

Sorry, din't werk ... looks like a 2x4 or a box a' chawklits in there ... (ya never know whut yer gonna git ...)

(psst, daisy, I think U.O. has hit the tequilla too. Look, she's slurring her words! Don't tell, she doesn't know she's a sloppy drunk)

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is one of my all-time favs. Bye Barnie.

MKJ, I'm just wondering...It's not a pic of Otis J. Criblecoblis nekkid, is it?

Naw, can't be ... it must be a pix of Otis's twin brother Motis J. Criblecoblis ... gotta be ...

What is wrong with you people? Gettin' nekkid is the best part of pukin'!

I don't get the U.O. and bb jokes about "Criblecoblis". I think you are making fun of me, which is not a good idea. You see, my real name is Mr. Kazutoshi Takenoshita, and I work with plasma lazers. Be warned.

No Sh!t?

oh ... you already said that ... nevermind ...

I warned you! Take THAT!
(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
HAHAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU I WORKED WITH PLAZMA LAZERS!

E - Thanks for the video link (again)! I don't watch enough VH1 these days.
And thanks to K-feder-whatever for giving us something to talk about.


The article was just a bunch of the same old b.s.
BUT the sidebar with the little old lady and the Great Dane reminded of something that happened back when I was just Semi-Stupendous Whippersnapper.

Two little old ladies, a mother and daughter no less, lived next door. Our yards were separated by a chainlink fence, but the gate was missing. Darkness had just fallen, and I was putting away my lawnmower when the sound of a horse running around my back yard became thunderingly apparent. It was so dark I couldn't see what it was, but I was pretty sure it was the 175 lb Great Dane puppy that belonged to my geriatric neighbors. The mother opened her back door and started calling the dog. I told her he was over in my yard and I would shoo him their way. She remarked her outside light was burnt out. So there I was in the pitch blackness trying to catch up to this romping Great Dane who was having a country dog good time running around my back yard. The mother and daughter were calling him and I thought I could hear him near where the gate between our yards used to be. I moved in that direction in the darkness when I heard his four paws thudding toward me from behind. I turned just as he went thundering past wagging his 45 lb tail fast enough to fracture the sound barrier. As he passed me, his huge tail caught me right in the groin. There I was in my freshly mown back yard on my knees with my eyes bugged out as the little old ladies yelled out to me in thanks for having herded their puppy home. Thankfully, they couldn't see me writhing in agony in the darkness.
Six months before this incident, I'd had a very painful root canal performed by, possibly, the world's worst dentist. I can truthfully say the moment that puppy knocked me to my knees was the first time that tooth didn't hurt me in six months.

S-man: Ooof!

Gag....why she won't ditch this useless creature is beyond me!

his-man panties....he was wearing one?

True incident: I had just arrived in LA at midnight, alone, with my 6-month-old daughter and 3-year-old son from a 7-hour flight from Boston. I could not find my luggage claim check and the guard would not let me out the gate. At that point, my son threw up all over me. I was so mad at the guard that I took my shirt off right there and got a clean tshirt out of my bag. I believe the guard was deciding whether to arrest me for indecent exposure or let me out w/out my claim check. (He let me leave, presumably because he thought my son might barf on him next.)
- Guin


"judi and El: many times kids threw up on me, and I never stripped, much less at somebody else's house.

Posted by: daisymae | 09:29 PM on February 25, 2006"

I liked the story about the great dane.

guin: i'd do that! but i wouldn't take a nap ;)

Blessed St. Judi ...

... um ...

... nevermind ...

*contemplates whether performing the actual hurling would cancel out any pleasure gained from the judi visual above*

just passing through, nothing to say...

K-Fed has to be the stupidest man in the USA who is not a member of the Bush Administration. If he irritates Twitney into kicking his sorry ass to the curb, his next rap will be "Yo, you want fries with that?"

Let us not be too harsh with Ms. Britney ...

I just received an email directly from her, a personal note, just to me ... offering me untold wealth and happiness and joy ...

At least it said it was from "Britney" ...

Nah ...

I deleted it ... I'm not as stoopid as some I could name ... (Hint: initials are "Kevin Federslime" ...)

You can take the girl out of the trailer park. But you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

(glad ta see yer not in Internetlessland Uncle Omar;)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!! DO NOT OPEN MKJ's LINK!!!!!

**goes off to find spoon to gouge out eyes**

Okay, so I opened MKJ's link and I'm confused. Call me naive, but if you are selling your product to the "manly man", maybe having the mannequin wear stockings and garters with bows isn't the best marketing idea.

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