A GENERATION IN PAIN
I've been reading you since I was a teenager. I nearly wrecked the car after I got my learner's permit, because of you. My mother and I had been to the library and we had checked out your book about bad songs. Mom read it to me as I drove and we nearly ended up running off the road because I was laughing so hard.
Especially the part where Mom had to sing MacArthur Park to me. I thought she was making it up!
It's been what? Fifteen years, Dave? I'm 28 years old now, not getting any younger. The bitterness has set in.
Why, you ask? Because your generation (and the one before you) got all the good music! My granny's generation had all that fantastic big band music. The boomers had ... well, EVERYONE!
And what passes for "music" with my generation? Do we get the Eagles? Oh, no. We get Snoop Doggy Dogg and Britney Spears.
Do you realize how much material you have to work with now?!?!?! Forget "Horse With No Name!" Any song by a boy band is worse than that! And how about "Barbie Girl?" (I'm a Barbie Girl! In a Barbie world! Life in plastic! It's fantastic!")
You've gotta write another bad song book, Dave! All you've gotta do is just announce another bad song survey and the readers will write it FOR you! We've been waiting for this opportunity ever since Madonna butchered "American Pie!"
Please please please please, since there will never again be bands like the Beatles, can you give me and my generation SOMETHING to hold on to?!?!?!
I need this, Dave.