24

Here's the situation going into tonight's episode:

 

-- Despite the best efforts of fearless super-agent Jack Bauer, the terrorists are still at large with 19 deadly nerve-gas canisters and at least that many accents.

 

-- The president of the United States continues to display the leadership qualities of a dead conch.

 

-- Nobody at CTU has been able to stop the terrorists or – more important – make Audrey shut up.

 

In another alarming development, troubling cracks have begun to develop in the plot. In the blog comments regarding last week's episode, commenter Jimmyk offered this analysis:

 

Ok, I don't mean to take any of this seriously, but here's the situation: The canisters are useless without the 'chip,' as far as CTU knows. So (they) send Jack out to the terrorists with the chip, GIVE THE CHIP TO THE TERRORISTS, allow hundreds of women and childred to die, just so they can make sure to get those other canisters, WHICH WOULD BE USELESS WITHOUT THE CHIP THAT THEY JUST HANDED TO THE TERRORISTS… Can someone help me?

 To which commenter Tallulah added:

 

Jimmyk -- I was thinking the exact same thing, re: if the terrorists need the chip for the nerve gas to go off, why give them the freaking chip? At first, I was thinking, surely it's not a chip that actually detonates the device--it must be a tracking device! But, no! It's the real thing, and now CTU and Jack have actively participated in giving the terrorists back a functioning weapon, which they must now move heaven and earth to prevent from functioning. I don't get it, either.

My own feeling is that the main problem with the canisters is that they are boring. I've decided I'm going to give this season one more episode to improve, and if it doesn't, then, dammit, I'm going to keep watching anyway. Because that's the kind of American I am.

UPDATE: The beautiful woman on House is actually a man!

UPDATE: There's going to be a twist we won't believe.

UPDATE: Oooh. An early stabbing. Good sign.

UPDATE: I have NO idea what's going on so far, but it's violent, which is good.

UPDATE: Does it seem like every 15 minutes, they (a) set up a freaking perimeter, and (b) take Jack back into custody?

UPDATE: I can't put spaces between my updates.

UPDATE: Jack choked his own guy. That wacky renegade loner Jack!

UPDATE: OK, I am experiencing serious technical difficulties with my update capability. I will try setting up a perimeter and downloading the schematics, but you may be on your own for the rest of this episode in the comments section. This is probably a good thing, as I do no remotely understand the plot any more.

UPDATE: I can't be certain, but I think the president is on T-Mobile.

UPDATE: Maybe the Hobbit will shoot Audrey.

UODATE: It's all about oil!

UPDATE: Why is Jack suddenly helping the guy who shot Palmer? Who are the hostiles? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

UPDATE: I admire how they get excellent phone reception, even inside a building with a hail of bullets.

UPDATE: I have no idea who that guy was, and now he's dead.

UPDATE: Chloe's gonna data-mine the files and keep it under the radar. God, I love Chloe.

UPDATE: The president reminds me more and more of Lincoln.

UPDATE: Why is the Hobbit in such a snit? Does anybody understand that? Or anything else? No? OK, then.

UPDATE: Omichron! I KNEW it!

UPDATE: This episode was written by the Random Plot Generator.

UPDATE: The first lady TAKES ACTION.

UPDATE: What was the twist we don't believe? I am SO confused.

Comments

[Blaaa]

"Net message" in CTU?
Cool.

[daisymae]

Chloe & Audrey are in cahoots.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Curtis, how could you let this happen?

First has to take Jack into custody, then he's assaulted by Jack, then gets ragged on by CTU Hobbit for letting Jack assault him...Curtis isn't having a good day...

[judi]

oooh chloe and audrey working together!

[qetzal]

Am I the only one who wishes CTU would get a new ringtone?

[daisymae]

Oops...the Hobbit's onto their game.

[judi]

damn! < slapping forehead > CAHOOTS!

[adonis]

Yeah TH.comG, WHO could actually stop Jack?

[2.0]

HA HA "A day long remembered" -- !!!

[Sam G.]

Imposing Hobbit Silhouette WBAGNFARB

[m4ttb4rr]

President Manilow just wet himself

[bizrey]

Prez. Weenie: "Tell them I'm in the bathroom!"

[«LabSpecimen»]

Terrorist: Take me to your leader!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

President Manilow: I'm not talking to him, you talk to him! Tell him I'm in the shower! Or the closet, at least...

[Blaaa]

my speaker phone is NEVER that clear...

[judi]

dave's watching ice dancing, dave's watching ice dancing :)

[FleaBailey]

We just love President Weenie.

"I'm not talkin' to him, YOU talk to him!"

"Let's get Mikey, he'll talk to ANYONE."

[wolfie]

Rut ro. The terrorists have gotten to TheBlog and hindered his abilities to post. Someone shoot his crapcam in it's thigh. Quickkkkk.

[daisymae]

Urk! The terrorist wants the President to CONSPIRE WITH HIM TO RELEASE THE GAS IN THE US.

[jim]

how many way's are there to the airport?

how many cannisters are there?

[adonis]

No offense meant dave, but maybe judi should go over there and teach you how to type again.

[Cheesewiz]

Pres Manilow doesn't work well under pressure

[Reddish Jode]

I've never had a chick wipe data clean for me.

Let alone two chicks in CAHOOTS!

[bizrey]

Ahhhh! I forgot about the ice dancing!! Probably a lot more violence going on there than on 24

[daisymae]

Ever notice that Mike talks to Prez WEenie like he's a two year old. Very slowly and patiently.

[Betsy]

If the Russian president is killed on US soil it wouldn't just affect the treaty...it would DESTROY our relationship with Russia.

Ya think?

[m4ttb4rr]

David Palmer wouldn't have asked Mike for Suvarov's route from Secret Service

[Shattered]

I think Logan actually wet himself duting that call.

[BLaaa]

15 mins, eh? We still have 40 left!
We might see some action this time around.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

President Weenie: He wants to kill the Russian president...

Mike: Okay then.

(I mean, c'mon...put up a fake motorcade and lure the terrorists there. Jack would think of that. I bet they won't think of that, tho...)

[qetzal]

JACK! HELP!

Terrorists have kidnapped The Blog and they're forcing him to watch ice dancing!

Plus they took my "h." Also my "s."

[wolfie]

Well at the very least it would make those embassy dinners a little awkward.

[Reddish Jode]

GBregory and Petukev just got 131 points in Ice Dancing!

[jim]

let's count how many different weapons get used in the final big shootout...

kind of like "automatic weapons bingo"...

[Betsy]

Must be my bifocals, Jim...I thought you said the final BLOG shootout

[progger]

This is nice and all, but I want more of that Fleeting Eye Guy (tm). Did you see how he could drive, talk on his cell, and look around as if he's check out no less than 18 women per second! Simply amazing. I have a feeling that Fleeting Eye Guy (tm) and Jack (the Stare) Bauer will make an excellent team.

[bizrey]

I *heart* Bones!!

[jim]

could be...

I'm kind of in between bored and confused...

[wolfie]

Could not have been an act. Nobody on this show can act.

[JT]

Ever notice that the more disasterous the news, the more the President's face gets this "Well, I NEVER!" expression? Kind of like your grandfather's aunt hearing a bad word...

[bizrey]

Uh, if its a hidden agenda how're they gonna find out about it?

[m4ttb4rr]

"There's more than that, right?"

"It got personal later on."

"Oh? What would she wear when it got... personal?"

Later:

"I want everyone on a tight leash." Tricksy hobbitses

[Betsy]

screeech! Sunny International warehouse
ringing phone
gun through the blinds
looking for change in the coin return

[Reddish Jode]

Why doesn'te Merry have a crappy part on TV? Seems unfair somehow

[BLaaa]

Hobo's yelling at Jack?
Thigh shooting time.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Okay, I just want to say that the new terrorist bad guy looks like Jeremy Irons. Well, more like a knock-off Jeremy Irons that you would get from a bad Chinatown store...

CTU Hobbit: CTU has gotten way to pourous. After all, how did a washed up actor like me get onto this show? TELL ME KNOW!

[bizrey]

*snerk* wolfie

[m4ttb4rr]

Can you imagine Jack Bauer working for Dell support? "You have a hostile CPU. Do you have a weapon? Good. Make your way to the roof, I'll meet you there."

[Betsy]

"Did you?" Oh ten points for me! I saw that coming!

[qetzal]

Dave has posted an UODATE. First one this season, I believe.

WTG Dave!

[scat]

Audrey's glasses on/off count: 14 so far this episode.

[PirateBoy]

Betsy;

I selected "PB" as my nickname here because my first blog posting was all about "Talk Like A Pirate Day" (Only 219 days to go until TLAPD 2006, held on September 19th)

And to those of us Pastafarians who know the Truth, September 19th is one of the most sacred days of the year. Skip the cheap wine that on day, break out the late harvest Zin, and put on a Jimmy Buffett CD*

I don't usually participate in your 24 discussions because:

a) DSL and a good book have replaced my cable company, at less cost.

b) I don't have enough free time to read 600+ postings by everyone here :( Y'all are funny, but I need to eat, occasionally!

*= Note to West Coast Bloggers: Two Jimmy Buffett concerts will be held at Irvine Meadows, April 20th and 22. No word yet about ticket sales, but I heard it on the Coconut Telegraph (Actually, the 'Coconut Modem')

[Betsy]

THIGH SHOT!!!

[Cheesewiz]

his gun is bigger than Jack's

[tropichunt.com guy™]

They're in a 2 story building. That's one slow freakin' freight elevator...

[FleaBailey]

I'm confused. Who are these guys and where did they come from?

[bizrey]

Guy needs to get a clip of Everlast ammunition

[Eleanor]

Someone gave tropichunt guy a "K" that he didn't even need!!!!!!!!

What's up with that?

[Cheesewiz]

these guys shoot like Dave types

[Sam G.]

Hooray! Jack saved the guy I've never seen before from the other guys I've never seen before!

[wolfie]

You'd think highly trained terrorists would have spent a little time on a shooting range learning how to aim.

[homeybeef]

Jack is good at shooting down helecopters

[qetzal]

They're in his pocket!

[Reddish Jode]

why didn't he stay down?

Jack tells you to stay down, you stay the hell down!

Has he never seen this show before?

[bizrey]

That is NOT a cannister in your pocket Nathan >:(

[Betsy]

What's on this CHIP!?????

Uh, california dip, I think

[m4ttb4rr]

If only Jack knew someone who could help him read a chip

[jim]

maybe the bad guys can set up a perimeter...

[scat]

wolfie beat me to it. Not that I have experience but how can ANYONE shoot a machine gun that many times and miss someone 15 feet away?

[daisymae]

Did he plug the chip into his cell pphone? He did

[tropichunt.com guy™]

That guy has bullet-dodging-by-pole capabilities the likes Tom Arnold has never seen...

He's been show in the thigh! Oh no! It wasn't by Jack, either...as far as we can tell.

Jack shot the helicopter in the thigh!

[Momanon]

There was more shooting in the last 5 minutes than there has been all season!!! Awesome!!!

[daisymae]

Thumb drive...uploaded to Chloe's socket...WOW

[ChrisB]

I would love to have Jack Bauer's phone. My company would probably be 1700% more efficient.

[Reddish Jode]

Audrey and Chloe are still Cahooting!

They actually cahoot together very well.

[Shattered]

woo hoo, he's uploading his drive to her socket...lucky girl!

[wolfie]

Chloe has the codes for everything. Why isn't she running ctu? Horrible fashion sense aside.

[judi]

hey i think audrey's being pretty cool this episode!

[Betsy]

Please note: on the crawl, on the TV screen showing covering of the Historic Treaty, one of the dummied up news items reads 'death toll in India train crash NEARS 69" Nears 69???? Does that mean, say, 68?
or is there an obscene subtext here?

[jim]

ok, did anybody get the weapons count?...

I lost track after three or four, and didn't see what the guys in the helicopter had...

[slyeyes]

*dashing in from nail appointment that ran late*

I'm so confused.

1. Dave's font has experienced shrinkage
2. there are no spaces.
3. Someone got shot in the thigh AND JACK DIDN'T DO IT.
4. Someone erased my phone log.
5. I'll now shut up and try to figure things out

[tropichunt.com guy™]

judi: All I can say is...well, SOMEONE has to...

[daisymae]

sly - there's no figuring it out. it's a whole new plot with new characters, half of whom just got killed. And...the cannisters are still at large.

[wolfie]

Verizon wireless runs windows. Sweet. Wait till your phone updates to service pack 2 and dials jupiter. During peak hours. For 6 hours. And then locks you out of your own messages.

[daisymae]

Where's Mrs Cleavage? She'd know how to make a decision like a man!

[Betsy]

Let's have an analysis done to identify the vulnerable points.

Sir, you're a frikin idiot

[bizrey]

Holt crap, the Prez won't even think about setting up a trap for the bad guys!

[Cheesewiz]

uh oh...busted

[daisymae]

Now prez weenie is asking her advice. She doesn't believe it.

[m4ttb4rr]

Remember what happened to the last First Lady who was invited into the circle?

[Cheesewiz]

let's vote..who wants Manilow gassed?

[judi]

mrs president needs to BE president. she's got more balls and honesty than anyone i've ever seen in office.

[qetzal]

I'm starting the think Mike was in on this from the start.

[Betsy]

And THERE's Mrs. Cleavage, daisymae! GOod call!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

More shooting vs. More Cleavage...I'm not sure which argument would win in terms of which would make the show more watchable...although Less Audrey is definately something to consider...

[bizrey]

Hey! Now that Nathanson is dead, maybe he will become a vampire and bite Audrey! Problem solved!

[Momanon]

Snork @ Cheezewiz. Busted! Now that's comedy. It works on so many levels!

[qetzal]

Stand up the them?

Don't you need a spine to stand up?

[Geoff Brown]

UH oh -- someone's getting shipped off to the mental hospital again...

[m4ttb4rr]

What's Allstate's stand?