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January 30, 2006

TO THE BLOG

You may want to reconsider your flight home.

(Thanks to Chris)

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I will not give in to peer pressure and declare myself FIRST

The Miami Herald must have the slowest server in the world... oh wait I aint allowed to dis the Big Brother of the Blog am I? OK - I take that back.

"So what's the buzz on this story?"

*slap!*

Gross understatement of the decade:

But what the Africanized bees lack in size, they make up with a severe lack of anger management.

Great line to boost tourism - "... A state that has fire ants that actually kill people. We have scorpions and spiders and boa constrictors and all those scary things."

Not even close to FIRST, even though it looked that way when I posted! *sob*

judi - I'm trying to remain in denial about killer bees, having had an incident with bees in my chimney getting into the house a couple of years ago. I beg you not to keep us updated on this issue.
Thank you. :)

Signed,
Eleanor who loves you but not when you write about killer bees! :)

List of places where I shouldn't go outdoors:

Australian paddock
Seattle
Florida
--Next?--

sorry EL - since I don't really care about being FIRST, I'll let you take credit for mine

Eleanor. We've had killer bees here in Texas for years. They're really not the plague everyone says. They're more aggressive but not like the movie.

gators
hurricanes
exploding toilets

and don't forget those killer florida drivers!

i like some bees.

Stop kissing up, TCK! :-)

If a person isn't FIRST, there's no way around that. A faux FIRST is not a FIRST.:(

But I congratulate you, albeit reluctantly...

geez - try and so somethin' nice fer a change, and see what it gets ya

*accepts congratulations in the spirit in which they were offered - reluctantly*

El, he's just trying to be nice to you so you'll join his harem. Be strong!!

Y'know, Sylvia Plath collected bees, and look how she ended up...

Oh. MOMMY!!!

Get Walter inside, NOW

*stands up with good posture*

*shoulders back, ramparts out*

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar

*after epic internal struggle, decides not to comment on El's posture and ramparts*

*especially not while she's roaring like that*

I wont comment on her ramparts either TCK - although there are parts I wouldnt mind ramming. *wink wink nudge nudge*

*goes off to help El and Annie build a bigger doghouse, cause it looks like CoastRaven's headin' there, too* ;)

Wait for me, southern! I will probably want it to be nice and comfy for some inevitable time in the future.

southerngirl - if you love me, you'll make sure there's a fridge, a kick ass stereo, and some grow lights

TCK - you bring the lights - I'll bring the non-light beer

TCK has a harem?

*hands planks, nails, chocolate and beer to southerngirl, El & Annie*

Save the beer till later so's you don't hammer your thumbs, girls.

*herds TCK, CoastRaven & Brainy into the doghouse by shaking a rolled-up newspaper in a menacing manner*

Don't make us get the shock collars. Or the neutering devices.

woof

wow Bumble - I'm hurt - what happened to that eternal love I heard about not so long ago?

TCK~ That was when you were behaving. Snip, snip. :-)

BTW, I don't actually have a harem - I was tryin' to recruit one - I invited Annie, El, southerngirl and you - southerngirl responded with blatant sarcasm - judging by your last comment, I think I can cross you off the list also...

since I don't have a lotta hope that either El or Annie will take me up on my generous offer, I guess I'll have to search elsewhere..

anyone else interested in joining my harem? judi maybe?

TCK~ Good luck with that one. I'm off to bible study. Later. :-)

I was behaving?

Bumble - put in a good word for me - I think I might need it

Me too Bumble!! (please - thank you and Amen (and women)

*zips in and looks around*

*yawn*

*zips out with hammering tools to continue construction work*

CoastRaven - it's a deal - now if we could figure out how to get some chicks sent to the doghouse...

Save the beer till later

Bumble End Eleanor seems to have left in a hurry. Look what they left behind...

If only we had an opener.

*and Eleanot

AAAAARG!!!

Brainy - not to worry - I've got my handy swiss army knife and my marlboro bottle-opener key chain thingy - either way, we're covered

*pops open a coupla beers, cranks up the AC/DC, pulls up a lawnchair, and settles in to watch the chicks (and I mean that respectfully) attempt to build a doghouse*

*looks like Brainy already figured out how to git into the beers - slurred typing and all*

We seem to have strayed from the original topic... I was gonna offer any Floridians out there (including Dave) (ESPECIALLY dave) the use of under-my-bed. However, it looks like you're all shacked up in Annie's doghouse, so I guess I'll leave all y'alls alone.

I can't believe it! We come down to Florida for a restful couple of months and now this!Since I'd rather be in denial than worry about it I wish you hadn't told me, judi!

Jeez, tck, for someone who claims to be a manly man, you sure like to kick back and watch...

Annie - I don't recall ever actually claiming to be a
"manly man" (although I would think that's obvious) - I will admit that I like to "kick back and watch" some things - I think I suggesed jello wrestling earlier, but for some reason nobody took me up on it...

BTW, if I was available, I would ask you to marry me - no matter how much crap I give you, you keep comin' back for more - and like I said before, you always give better than you get - I find that very attractive - I also think your ex was a dumbass (don't know him, but he gave up on you, which, in my opinion, was his mistake)...

of course, I'm pretty much stoned right now, so I may not remember this later - either way, I'm bein' completly honest, so try not to use this against me later

oh, and chicks can't build a decent doghouse, so it's just fun to watch 'em try :)

This season's hottest Florida resort wear: The New Look

Booger. Stupid page has frames. Sigh.

I know there's at least one Bea I like ... just sayin' ...

Brainy & TCK- Those beers were not for you. Bad! Bad! No biscuit. And I dare say those gals can build a better doghouse than you think. Besides, since we're putting you in there, quality control is not a big issue. Am I right girls?

*says a little prayer for the souls of various bloggits*

U.O- If you're attempting to earn brownie points in order to pre-empt being sent to the doghouse should you commit a grievous error towards us ladies at some future date, it may or may not be working.

Bumble --

I really appreciate the definitive answer you provided. And, a very fine job of said presentation, I might add ...

Thanks. I try.

This thread was much funnier when we were talking Bees.

:-P

CoastRaven, it is sooo too late for you.

TCK ~ "a fridge, a kick ass stereo, and some grow lights" You know it! (oh, and if you're kickin' back w/AC/DC, I've got this really cool t-shirt you might like.)

Brainy, are you trying to get on their side?

and somebody please pass me a beer, will ya?

southerngirl~ Here you go.

Wave - erm... you're awfully critical for someone who offered nothing to the conversation except that comment.

*zips in*

What djtonyb said!

*zips out*

(We interrupt these "words of love so soft and tender" to get back to the thread.)
Note this line from the killer bees story: "...the bees' favorite stinging targets include the nostrils and the mouth." Now don't get ahead of me after seeing the naughty word "nostrils" in a thread on the Dave Barry Blog...but isn't it possible BOOGERS could become protective devices? I predict that soon Floridians won't be safe when they venture outdoors unless each nostril contains, at the very least, two ounces of solid or semi-solid mucus.
(We now return you to our regularly unscheduled off thread comments.)

Of course, in my previous post, I was referring to Floridians with two (2) nostrils. They may still, nonetheless, have only one (1) eyebrow.

*glues nostrils shut and ventures outside to smoke a cigarette*

*makes mental note to check out the unibrow situation the next time he's in the bathroom*

Stupendous Man~ That reminds me of a family anecdote. (Doesn't everything?) My uncle was driving down the interstate once and he saw a bee buzzing around inside his car. Unconcerned, he didn't pay it any mind until he suddenly realized he didn't hear it anymore. He looked into his rear-view to scout it out, and saw its little striped abdomen disappearing into his nostril. Keeping his cool way better than I would have, he blew out through his nose as hard as he could, and the bee emerged and was subsequently shooed out the window. I shudder every time he tells that story.

Did someone say unibrow? (scroll up)

I knew southerngirl loved me best

oh, and nice t-shirt - seems like I used to have one just like it

TCK, that's you? I thought that was TH-G. I used to have a t-shirt like that, too...but then I got a job.
Hey, Bumble, I guess the bee/nostril incident was one time your uncle enjoyed a *snork, for sure! Spewage does indeed come in handy at times. Great story, and I truly believe every word of it. Funny things happen.

Following the unibrow remarks, here's a gratuitous insult to be used on either sex, but only if you're confident of winning the fight in the parking lot:

"Hey, nice tattoo! And all this time I thought that was your real eyebrow!"

>But what the Africanized bees lack in size, they make up with a severe lack of anger management.

Give these bees a Florida driving licence!!!

SM~ Well, he didn't think it was very funny. I dare say the bee didn't, either...

Eleanor, DO NOT READ THIS!!!!!!

A few years back, SoCal's very first known hive of killer bees was discovered in the siding of a house three houses down from mine! I arrived home from work to discover that my street was cordoned off. The police officer told me that I could go home as long as I went straight into the house and made sure all doors and windows were closed. He wouldn't actually tell me what was going on. I had to learn aboout it on the 11 o'clock news. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. Two days earlier, my car was attacked by the biggest, darkest, most aggressive swarm of bees that I had ever seen. I just rolled up my window and drove away thinking, "Wow. That was strange."

Word on the street is that these Africanized bees will meet their comeuppance when they finally arrive in NYC and visit Central Park...only to lose their wallets, credit cards, green cards, guns, knives, blackjacks, bazookas, hand grenades and stingers.

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