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January 25, 2006

THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE

That would be the force field created by the Snickers in the hotel mini-bar. It calls to me. From the moment I walk into the room, I hear it calling "Dave... Daaaaaaaaaave... You know you want me, Dave. You know you cannot resist me. Come to the mini-bar, Dave. Remove my wrapper."

I try to resist, but I can't. I am weak. And the Snickers is strong.

Comments

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The minibar has a megaphone... Snickers can cost like $10 from a minibar

Dave - it's OK to give in to the Snickers - but stay away from the bottled water! For what they charge for that stuff, you'd think JC himself pissed in the bottle!

Be strong...and take the chewy granola bar instead. Follow that with the Johnnie Walker Red, and the Snickers will be quiet.

Be strong, Dave. Resist! Mrs. Blog will take one look at your thighs and she'll know what you've been up to.

Because looking at my thighs, I've been so so weak.

*re-reads previous comment - decides it counts as blasphemy and crawls under southerngirl's bed*

Mmmm... Snickers™. Rich nougat, crunchy peanuts... thick sweet caramel... all lovingly enrobed in milk chocolate... so hefty and substantial in the hand...

Can't say as I blame you, Dave.

Damn, I gotta hit the vending machine....

Sounds like SOMEBODY is on the publisher's expense account. Mortals don't go NEAR the minibar!

I'm sure the hotel has a vending machine around somewhere. Perhaps that would be a cheaper alternative? Stick it to the man, Dave.

isnt it the 'snickers ARE strong?' or maybe not.

Dave - I think you are talking about a "tractor beam".

The "force field" is what keeps you from being able to touch the granola bar.

Either way, I say eat the Snickers, wash it down with a few dark beers, and then watch an exercise infomercial for a few minutes.

It all evens out.

Why do you think they call them 'snickers'? It's mocking you, Dave. It wants to live on your thigh until Jack Bauer shoots it off.

Side note - for your visit to LA in April, I am planning to bake you the most incredible chocolate chip cookie you've ever had in your life. Just one, the size of a plate, with M&Ms, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips...if you weren't drooling before (I've heard conflicting accounts on that one), you'll be drooling soon enough...

it depends... are you on an expense account, Dave?

(Call it 'research for the blog')

Wait a second - our 'money expert' is hitting a mini-bar? That's like Pat Robertson having an affair....

Oh - but if you really (REALLY) don't want to eat the snickers for some reason (and I can't think of one right now, under all this pressure) - you could just turn on Fox and see if "Fear Factor" is on. They'll probably have a supermodel eating a snickers that is actively coming out of an inappropriate goat orifice (mind you, that's good tv, it's just doesn't generally make you hungry for a snickers).

Speaking of candy, what the hell is nougat? Chocolate, caramel, coconut, even marshmellow I can comprehend... But what is nougat?

I've laid awake all night staring at the ceiling trying to figure this out....

I think the real question is who's paying for the minibar. Can't you sign that off on the publisher's bill for the hotel?

And remember, Snickers is good for you. Or would that be Snickers ARE good for you? What fiend would make a proper noun sound plural? Anyway, they're an important source of fuel for your day. Surely you've seen the ads. Snickers satisfy. Or satisfies.

Cosby once pointed out that chocolate cake contains eggs, wheat, and milk, ergo it is a good breakfast for his kids, when his wife makes him get up to feed them.

--
Words of the Sentient:

When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Normally I always agree with the Blog, but a recent discovery (to me anyway) supplants Snickers as an irrestable force. It is (or is it "They are") Hershey's Kisses filled with peanut butter.

Mmmmmmmmmm

Dave, look out for worms!!


What's with all the lightining strikes flying around here? Oh, hi, TCK!

*scoots over, and loves TCK some parfait*

If your conscience starts bothering you, just inform it that obeying the siren call of the Snickers bar is infinitely better than listening to the combined chorus of the cute little whiskey bottles.

"You know you want me, Dave. You know you cannot resist me. Come to the mini-bar, Dave. Remove my wrapper."

That's what she said.

Actually, she said $26.75 don't get you that bucko.

That was before he involved the Snickers, natch.

C'Mon Dave - didnt you read the previous poist?!?! There are WORMS in that chocolate... those are peanuts and nugat they are larvae and waste products!!

Dang it. Now I want a Snickers.

Oooh! There's a bag of fun-size Snickers on the table. Thank you, mother.

Something to ponder: Isn't "King Size" the real "Fun Size?"

Hmm. That could be taken more ways than one. Take your pick. Except TCK.

poist = post
grumble fat fingers growl

That's why you have the whiskey - the alcohol kills all the germs.

AHHH - isnt that sort of putting the worm before the tequila though?

Bumble you really seem to be developing quite a dirty little mind. NTTAWWT, of course.

One last thinig... am I the ONLY one who see more than a LITTLE sexual suggestivity in snickers new slogan
"It's only satisfying if you eat it"

oh c'mon Bumble! I had a really good one too!

Hey - speaking of hotel vending machines (how they fit the hotels in there is amazing) - my favorite is when I come across a grown man in a jacket and tie with his arm inside a vending machine trying to get to the snickers or hot fries or whatever it is he bought that failed to drop properly.

I'm convinced that this is part of a candid-camera style show. If it's not, it should be.

I'm also fascinated that a person with a suit wearing type job puts his arm in a machine to try to retreive a 75 cent snack.

I've seen this a few times.

southerngirl- It's all TCK's fault.

TCK- It's all southerngirl's fault.

*waits for TCK and southerngirl to fight it out under the bed*

Dave - From my support group, Chocolate Anonymous:

1. We admitted we were powerless over that ooey gooey goodness - that our thighs had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a relative or friend greater than ourselves could buy us a gym membership.

3. Made a decision to turn our Hershey's and our Kit Kats over to the care of our snack bins as we understand them.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our snack bins, for research purposes.

5. Addmitted to ourselves and to another fata$$ friend of ours the exact nature of our love for that sweet, nummy, melt-in-your-mouth, chocolatey...damn. Where were we?

6. Were entirely ready to consider walking down the hall and getting some ice for the beer as enough exercise to counteract any shortcomings that may or may not occur at the minibar.

7. Humbly asked our significant others to go to the store and get us some beer.

8. Made a list of all the snack foods we had consumed, and became willing to try real hard not to consume any more, unless we, you know, wanted to.

9. Made direct amends, in the form of vaguely worded emails, to family members whose hotel bills we have run through the roof while on vacation in Destin that one time when I left a day early and it turned out their bill was like $400 but wow those little mini bottles of Smirnoff were freaking....well, you know. BAD chocolate. BAD!

10. Continued to take personal inventory of our snack bin when we felt morally obligated to check on the status of those bags of wonderful, delectable, milky chocolatey little wads of ambrosia and....man, Chocolate Anonymous blows.

I forget 11 and 12 I'm going to the store don't judge me bite it.

Bumble - if you're blaming me for your dirty mind, then there's nothing to fight about - I'll take credit (not that I'm opposed to a little wrestling match under the bed)

Bumble, you mean "fight it out", like as in wrestling, or something? Cause if that's what you meant, than we're alrea...uh, nevermind.

Ok, TCK, your comment wasn't there when I posted mine, I swear!

*wiping Snickers crumbs off of shirt...*

Bravo, Fed!

southerngirl - dirty minds think alike

Dave, forget the Snickers. Come to Nashville, where we make the Goo-Goo, the world's first combination candy bar (according to their website, anyway).

Caramel, peanuts, marshmallow, and chocolate. Round. hmmm.

(I am not an empolyee or nor am I in any other way connected to the Standard Candy Company)

I'll come to your book signing and bring you some Goo-Goos if you will come to Nashville. Heck, I'll even buy your book!

southerngirl - thanks for the parfait and the, um, wrestling...

(and Bumble - thanks for the suggestion)

I'm hittin' the road - see ya

OOOOOOO, Goo-Goo Clusters! Yum! We don't have them up here, but a friend from Indiana once brought a case of them in to work. Excellent use of calories!

Dave, if they sell Goo-Goos in Indiana, I bet they have them in Kansas City, too. Seek them out!

Ironic, that. I watched an episode of Unwrapped last night that showed the making of both Goo-goos and Snickers. Did you know that Snickers bars were named after the pet horse of one of the company founders? The name for Goo-goos supposedly developed because babies say that, and Goo-goos are supposed to be so good that "Babies will ask for them by name." I wouldn't know; I've never eaten one. I think Cracker Barrel carries them though. Mmm. Cracker Barrel.

"Dirty minds think alike..."

"...developing quite a dirty little mind."

So I'm going to start thinking like TCK? Oh crap!

Dave is getting strong Snickers in his hotel room?

Interesting. And, sorry about that.

My copy of his new book just arrived today from BarnesNoble.com.

YAY!!

Clark Kent- Basically nougat is just sugar/corn syrup that's been cooked and aerated in such a way that it's gooey/fluffy. Similar to divinity, but divinity has to have egg whites. The nougat in a Snickers bar has chocolate in it though.

Anybody got a problem with HOHO's.

I'VE HAD THE HOHO MONKEY ON MY BACK FOR YEARS!!!

IS THERE A REHAB FOR THIS?


mmmm. hoho's....... (here we go again.)

RT - I beat the HO HO addiction when I read the calorie content on the box one day. 380 calories PER Ho!!! Eating 3 Ho Ho's is a full day's calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........calorieeeesssss.....

My Name is MoFaux and I am a moonpie eater>I've had 2 this year already and I'm worried about my self control.Mr. Barry, I know how it is bro.Tommorrow is a new day ,know what I mean?And if you're Catholic , you can just confess and do it again, so do not be too hard on yourself- just enjoy today.I was once hooked on Snickers, but now I find it's just not a hard enough drug for me-I feel hollow afterwards and used, too. Often I would cry just a little after the cheap sugar rush wore off.Honestly, I havent given this enough thought....

Dave,
If you know when they inventory the mini-bar, you can eat one (or all) of them now, and then run out to a store and buy replacements before you are charged an arm and a leg. I know this, because I had to replace several Cadbury bars from my hotel in Nairobi, Kenya which would have been $5.50 each. (Do you know how hard it is to find a real grocery store in downtown Nairobi?)

We've left out Hostess Ding Dongs, made famous by Pinkard and Bowden in their hit song about the truck driver who stopped at a convenience store, purchased the aforementioned treat, drove away and crashed. Then He Died With His Ding Dong in His Hand. The song was featured as the love theme in the megahit movie Plan Nine from Outerspace.

Well thank you very much. It is now 11:33pm my time and I want a Snickers and there is no way for me to procure one at this hour.

I know I'm late in posting but this annoying thing called school resumed on Monday, and people keep telling me I have to actually do research on the computer instead of reading this blog. I fear I may have to go away for awhile. If I do, who ever is reading this is invited to my graduation (MSW degree) May 10th!

Dave...Snickers bars are like heroin to squirrels...you're actually doing yourself a favor by cleaning out the minibar. The last thing you want is to wake up in Kansas with a dozen of the little bastards scampering over your bed with a peanut-caramel nougat jones. Just saying...

WTG, Jacki ... Sorry, I doubt I'll be able to attend, but y'all are to be congratulated ...

...

...

(Excuse me, I hadda unwrap another Snickers™ ...)

... for having the discipline to stick with the (your) program ...

...

... um ... (another one) ... nougat in my dictionary has egg whites as well as nuts and honey or sugar ... just sayin' ...

... (just one more) ...

so ... the "nougat" is essentially the same as "divinity" (the candy) ...

I always liked Christmas 'cuz that was the time of year when my mom made all sorts of goodies ... her divinity (the candy, Ma's name was Mary, but that's not how I meant this comment) was the best ever ...

...

(I'll have just one more ...)

(Well, one more ...)

... so I could look forward to sugar-induced (one more? OK ...) happiness during the holidays ... (last one, the bag's empty ... dang!)

and regrets only when I visited the dentist ...

It starts with book strumpeting, and the next thing you know, Snickers. It's so tragic, especially for the pancreas.

*returns from store with bag of snickers, goo goos (pecan version) ding dongs, ho hos, kisses, and moon pies*

thx so much for sharing that moment, dave. the rest of you are being fondly mentioned in my 911 call to my diet partner.

Nougat,
candy made from honey and almonds, sticky, sweet and crunchy. Kinda like peanut brittle only way better. the white variety has egwhites and is more fluffy. Specialty in the South of France.
http://perso.wanadoo.fr/chaudron/pages_ang/fabrication.html
Sorry can't figure out the link thing.

Course y'all are all in bed now.

There is a great source for obscure and regional candy. It is called Hometown Favorites and they have almost every hard-to-find candy, cereal, drink, etc. Also they provide obituaries for food that isn't made anymore (Quake cereal, for example.)

Also, the Vermont Country Store has Goo-Goos, along with other tasty items.

LTTG (a whole day late), but HERE's a link to a great old song (Junk Food Junkie, Larry Groce).

Guin,
I remember the Brachs nougat, it is to the the real thing what velveeta cheese is to, well real cheese :-)

Thanks to Blue Meanie for the link thing aadvice

AiP - wow! I am a marshmallow junkie - those French ones look divine! Mmmmm. *Plans trip to France to eat marshmallows.*

funny I never saw those marshmellows here!! though i am not a big fan

I follow the chocoholics 12-Step Program - Never be more than 12 steps from Chocolate!

I use a square of Lindt's 85% dark to satisfy my chocolate jones. All the cocoa taste without most of the sugar!

Of course, had to buy a Mozart bon-bon for Wolfie's 250th birthday tomorrow - delicious confection of chocolate, pistachio and maybe hazelnut - sitting in my kitchen, singing its siren song!

;-}

Hey Dave (If you ever reread this thread),
On your next trip to Idaho, be sure to have an "Idaho Spud" bar. It has a chocolate marshmallow filling with a chocolate outer shell covered with coconut, shaped like a potato. I know it sounds weird, so you'll have to trust me on this one, they're great! Eat it slowly, as they are really sweet.

I thought Duct Tape was the most powerful force in the universe.

This is why I ALWAYS have some form of chocolate and some form of "crispy grease and salt" in my suitcase!

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