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January 21, 2006


Wouldn't you have noticed?

(Thanks to slyeyes)


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And yeah, I think I would notice if my camel went missing.

Well, you know, maybe if I was... no, wait-- if circumstances were...

nope. I'd notice a missing camel.

Can't blame the poor little humpback for making a break for it.

He probably remembers a time when 10's of 1000's of free range camels leaped majestically across the midwestern dunes.....raising their heads in unison every so often, and spitting into the air.

I lift MY voice, (and urge you to join me)

luckily the police put out an 'all-humps bulletin" on him.

anyone remember the 'I'd drive through a couple counties without a Camel' ad campaign?

The man who found Bocephalus was one Ahab D. Arab, described as a "Sheik of the Burning Sands", who remarked that the camel resembled his own steed, Clyde, adding, "Crazy, baby!"

Geezer alert: if you get this reference, you are WAY old.

damn - I am WAY old

*does the "I Got Posted Happy Dance"*

Bollinger says he bought Bocephalus with the intent of training him to give rides to children. He has also used him in live Nativity scenes.

Personally, it seems just a tad wrong to have a camel named BocePHALUS around kids and in a Nativity scene.

*joins the WAY old group*

Dave your a hoot. My mother said hi. She gave you the shirt off her back at a book signing in Key Largo back in the 90's. She had to pay for the book...so she wants her shirt back...washed of course. She had to leave in bikini top and bottoms. Shame on you. A 50/60 some year old woman. Oh, and I loved the book. Just finished Beltway.
Scott in NC

P.S. could you wash the dave funk off of it.

Scott - how come you don't know how old your mom is? "50/60 some year old" is kinda vague...

Cant remeber when in the 90's, could have been the late 80's, that would have put her in the 58-61 bracket

BUT... I CAN'T be "WAY old"... I'm NEW!


Does it make any difference if I only "got it" because of an album I had called "Don Kirshner Presents Fun Rock" (1975)... which I got when I was 4?

oh, well that's better - if you're gonna insult Dave's funk when he's not here to defend himself, you should at least have your facts straight - just sayin'

From the Cold Comfort Dept.:

Let me add that I am a charter member of the WAY OLD Geezer Bus Tour Group, although I'm not sitting as close to the driver as, say, Scott's Mom.

Melissa - if you've ever heard "Ahab the Arab" on the radio, then I would say you may want to consider the possibility that you are WAY old - if not, I think you can probably remain in denial...

Lairbo...I'm closer to the driver than you are; in fact, I may BE the driver, in which case the WOGBT is in deep trouble. But at least we'll have some good songs to sing as we wander the backroads looking for a gas station with clean rest rooms...

Lairbo ... thanks a lot. I was sitting here laughing at your humorous post, and then you called me a geezer. I'm taking my "Best of Ray Stevens" vinyl and going home ...

With rings on my fingers and bells on my toes and a bone in my nose, ho, ho ...


I'm assuming that 'Bocephalus' is a corruption of 'Bucephalus', Alexander the Great's horse, who was instrumental in helping Al conquer the known world. As you can see from the above link, ol' Bu was a tempramental and skittish steed who definitely would have staged a daring daylight escape from a horse (or camel) trailer, should he have found himself in one.
My theory (which is mine and belongs to me;) is that BOcephalus is a down-home version of BUcephalus, and may owe something to the influence of the Dukes of Hazzard. (see Oxford Encylcopaedia of Amusingly Ignorant Colonial Corruptions).
I certainly hope this has helped shed some light on this important topic. Tune in next week to Miscelleous Geezer Musings, when the topic may well be something shiny...

Do I remember "Ahab the Arab?" Shoot, Ah reckon! But the funniest song Ray Stevens ever did is "The Dooright Family," which includes the words:

"If you do do right,
Then you can't go wrong."

The song was featured as the love theme in the movie The Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

them Dukes them Dukes

There once was a camel, Bocephalus,
Who . . . who . . .

Darn it, I'm stuck already! Where's insomniac?

There once was a camel, Bocephalus,,
Who somehow contracted syphillus....


his hump had a rash, that went clear to his ass...

There once was a camel, Bocephalus,
Who, en route to a major metropolis,
Escaped from his trailer
Made a beeline for Baylor
By hitching a ride on the Geezer Bus

I always thought it was Bocephus.

That's why I thought Bocephalus was just wrong.

Bocephalus was lucky. As I recall, the last runaway nativity scene camel blogged met up with the business end of a semi.

How can you see the speck in your brother's eye, when you have a camel in your own?

They had to describe him.

Owner: Officer! I'm missing my camel
Officer: Can you describe him?

Real crack team.

"I'd walk a mile for a camel"

Not if HE'S the one who left. I got my pride.

I overheard an argument about whether or not the expression is "Never let the camel's toe in the tent."

For the record, it's the camel's nose.

I am so not going to ask if the bruises involved camel toes....

Two old ladies are out for a smoke break as it begins to rain. The first old lady takes a condom out of her purse and slips it over her cigarette to keep it dry.

"Wow! That's a near thingy! Where can I get one?"
"Well, it's a condom, and you can get them at a pharmacy."

So the second lady goes to the pharmacy and asks for a condom.

"What size do you need?" says the pharmacist.
"Oh. I dunno - big enough for a Camel."

Crap!! Make that "a neat thingy." I hate it when I do that!

He wouldn't make any money. Everyone teaches their kids not to accept rides from strangers, and that includes camels.

Betsy - I thought the same thing. Al the Great was supposedly the only one who could ride Bucephalus, a big macho horse from Macedonia.

TCK - Thank you... I feel much better now.

~whew~ That was a close one...

Denial is not such a bad place, really.

Blimey Guv'nor, Denial is a great place. It's that river wot runs froo Egypt.

Some investigators! Those police officers didn't even ask him what kind of camel it was- dromedary, which has one hump, or menthol, which has two.
I just hope the beast wasn't on drugs, because it's really dangerous to have a lit Camel at a gas station. *snork*

Al the Great also named a town after his horse, Alexandria Bucephala (don't know what ,or if, it is now) ,also don't know where I heard this but Bucephalus had toes...

Oh, you're no fun anymore! If anyone else pinches my phrase, I'll throw them under a camel, whether it's fleeing the police or not.

Nice work, limerckists! Take a bow!

Way old? Heck, I drive the Geezer Bus ... i've got Ray's "Ahab ..." on my iTunes (I think, there's a bunch of his stuff there) and yeah, I remember ... um ... whut wuz the question?

U.O. - how are you at lymericks? we need an ending to this one on the "One Question" thread:

There once was a camel, Bocephalus
Who somehow contracted syphillus
his hump had a rash, that went clear to his ass

any ideas? anyone?

whoops - this IS the "One Question" thread - ever get the feeling you were somewhere else, except that you weren't?


me neither

Desert Rose - at least it's only your phrase that got pinched

There once was a camel, Bocephalus
Who somehow contracted syphillus
his hump had a rash,
that went clear to his ass

take ur pik ...

that kept him from work at the Palace

the gift of a former wife's malice

he'd got while in search of a chalice

from food at the restaurant of Alice

from spending his whole life in Dallas

and the backs of both knees had a callus

'cuz his owner was known to be callous

It's a good thing his wife wasn't j(e)alous ...

from eating a rotten chrysalis

which could f@rt the Canon of Tallis

...which left him ill-tempered and restl-less.

What we really need to do to catch the camel is to have Jack Bauer shoot it in the thigh with a tranquilizer dart from his watch (or cell phone), because it's really the reincarnation of Marwan, so after shooting him, Jack should make him do community service for the rest of his life by giving rides to little children that are going to pull his ears and spit on him. How do I know? CTU sent me this coded message- "If you don't ride a camel, you ain't shi'ite."

...While leaving a bad itch on his phallus.

There once was a camel, Bocephalus
Who somehow contracted syphillus
his hump had a rash,
that went clear to his ass...

...but his scratching's what bothered the rest of us.

so this guy was "camel-towing?"

AnnieWBH Is towing a camel better than towing a cow? If it is, does a cow-tower kow-tow to a camel-tower? Is being camel-towed worse than being pigeon-toed? How much weight can a pigeon tow, anyway? and if you transport foreskins from the operating room after circumcisions, are you a tip-tower?

[Oh, all right...give me the damned pills, then. Never get to have any fun....]

To end the limmerick: "And the found himself an alias.

Not to double, just forgot to change an old (fake) screen name. *OOPS*

"And then" Dammit!

Excellent last line, Annie WBH!

Finished it off nicely AND stayed on topic! :)

Yes, I believe I would have noticed if a camel jumped out of my back end.

er, uh, the back end of my truck.

And still I wait for someone to tell me if camels with two humps have more fun than camels with just one hump. Well?

"He says the camel is sore" Wha? How does he know? Can the camel talk as well as star in nativity scenes? I have this wonderful image of the camel sipping on some coffee with his legs crossed saying "Darn I'm sore after that highway trip. Why doesn't he just let me ride up front?"

Betsy - my goodness - whatever you're taking, hopefully you brought enough for everyone. Soon you'll be imagining little brown frogs with lumps on their backs...aka (wait for it)...camel toads.

Thanks, Eleanor.

Bobndougfan - if you'd ever been camel-toed, you'd be sore. At least that's what I've heard.

"He says the camel is sore, with some bruises and scratches, but is expected to fully recover."

Querry: How could you tell if the camel had bruises and scratches? Aren't they covered in fur? Also, what kind of store-brand camel couldn't "fully recover" from bruises and scratches?

"I had my eye on a nice JC Penney camel, but KMart was having a blue-light special. I paid $20 less, but man, I totally got hosed. A few bruises and scratches and the thing up and dies of Phossy Jaw."

(P.S. Yes, I did just say the camel died of Phossy Jaw. Is't that the best name for a disease EVER?)

(P.S.S. No disrespect meant to former Phosphoros miners with no madibles. Really.)

(And I meant P.P.S., not P.S.S., duh. It was meant to shock-n-awe, er, confuse-n-amuse the terrorists.)

AnnieWBH - "camel towing" snork

Not only am I old enough to remember Ahab, I am also old enough to remember "I'd walk a mile for a camel."

AlanBoss: Here's your card.

*raises hand to be let off the Geezer Bus*
Um, my dad loves that song. And played all his classics while we washed dishes. Do you have any idea how much trouble I have explaining to people my own age that when I say,"They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away" that I'm quoting!?!? Argh. Maybe I should stay on the bus. Less frustration.

Nurse T, on the Geezer Bus you raise your hand to have someone change your Depends. To get off the bus, pull the Geezer Cord.

Oops. I will take that under consideration. (And hope fervently that nobody needs an expert in Depends changing, or I won't be permitted of the bus...)

Oops. I will take that under consideration. (And hope fervently that nobody needs an expert in Depends changing, or I won't be permitted off the bus...)

Argh. Doubled. Evil robot. That's the first time with it.

I have multiple earwigs. I must go to sleep, or I will be in trouble on night shift tonight. So I must infect as many people as possible with this (and call Dad):
You see I've been through the desert
on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Bonus question: am I an honorary geezer for really loving that song despite not having made my quarter-century mark?

Whatever you like, N. Tammy ... it's your bus ride ...

*looks to get on the geezer bus*

*sees bus going by at 40 mph with it's left turn signal on*

JEFF! Stop that thing! dang

At least we have a cool sound track... :)

Honorary passenger on the Geezer bus, thanks to my own Dad, who shared his eclectic taste in music with my brother & I . . . not to mention 40's radio dramas & comedies - anyone? Johnny Dollar, The Great Gildersleeve, Jack Benny, The Life of Riley? Anyone?

Well, I don't qualify chronologically for the geezer bus, but even my 14 year old daughter loves Ray Stevens.

Funny story about "They're coming to take me away, ha-ha."

My mom was about 19 or 20 when that song was first aired. She was driving home from work and they played it first forward, then backward (as it was on the 45 she later bought). When it started playing backward, she thought she had slipped into the twilight zone. It was getting dark, she was alone on a country road. I can only imagine.

Of course, there have been days I'd welcome the nice young men in their clean white coats.

I can vouch for some of the white-coated guys being rather attractive. And the padded room looks like a great place for a nap.

Boston Blackie? Fibber McGee & Molly? Nelson Eddy's Penthouse Party? LUX presents HOLLYWOOD? The Breakfast Club? The Green Hornet? The Lone Ranger?

Bueller? Anyone?

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Who knew what weevils blurk in the . . . (dang, I got nothin' as far as finishing the sentence!)

And yeah, U.O., I know about half of those programs by direct experiece, & the others by hearing of them. I have a closet in my home that could give ol' Fibber's a run for its $, though . . .

Appropos of nuthin' - once while I was in college they screened a video full of WWII-era cartoons (as a study break), so a bunch of us were watching, maybe 30 college kids. During one chase scene, Bugs Bunny stops to answer a ringing phone, then goes into casual mode, saying, "Myrt! How's every little thing, Myrt?" I laughed my head off, and nobody else had a clue.

Oh, wait - Who knows what weevils blurk in the dark of dens . . . ?

BLT ... another fun item is if you can find some of the less prominent/less touted old films (restored, one may only hope -- I hadda patch a lot of film when we got them and showed them to our HS classes) of some of the Masters ... Fields, Keaton, Chaplin, Sennett, Abbott & Costello, early Three Stooges ...

There are some great sight-gags in Fields' and Keaton's stuff that you don't catch the first time -- or even the sixth time -- around ...

just sayin' ... not sellin' ...

I've also got some of the Stan Freberg radio shows (on CD) and they're classics as well ... different era, but one in which I grew up, so doubly relevant to moi ownself ...

Young enough to be more of the "Send your camel to bed..." generation, than Ahab the Arab but,
I digress...

A few years ago a wild moose found itself lost in busy Brighton, MA.
Some of my friends called me to tell me what they saw running up the street outside their apartments,I thought they were some combanation of nuts and/or on drugs.
(I was proved wrong in my assumptions by the 6pm news broadcast that day)
I can only imagine what the officer taking the report thought of the guy with the missing camel...

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