NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER AWARD
This week's winner: Morning Star Vaber
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January 20, 2006
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Can it be? Am i FIRST?
Posted by: Muffles | January 20, 2006 at 02:26 PM
BWAH HA HAHAHAAA
*wipes saliva from computer monitor"
Posted by: Muffles | January 20, 2006 at 02:27 PM
The article doesn't mention the movie "Wedding Crashers," where she probably got the idea.
Posted by: Bill | January 20, 2006 at 02:30 PM
Poem inspired by Milton's "Song on a May Morning":
NOW the not-so-bright Morning Star
Comes dancing from the local pharmacy
And puts pale drops for red eyes
Into her coworker's flowery tea.
Hail, thick-headed Star
That dost inspire Mirth;
An orange jumpsuit will be thy dressing
The Orange Reef Club will boast this blessing.
Thus we salute thee with our early song,
And welcome thee, and wish thee long
and happy times in the cell where you belong.
Posted by: Funny Name | January 20, 2006 at 02:36 PM
a decreased level of consciousness
I don't know what I want to say about this, but I know it's a key quote!
Posted by: ceeg22 | January 20, 2006 at 02:44 PM
Were the victims redheaded? Maybe she just misconstrued Visine's catch phrase.
Posted by: Bumble | January 20, 2006 at 02:45 PM
Usually people are not USING Visene unless they have taken something to GIVE them a "decreased level of consciousness". At least thats what I am told - not that I would know or anything.
Posted by: CoastRaven | January 20, 2006 at 02:46 PM
This was an episode of CSI!! I demand a recount!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 20, 2006 at 02:49 PM
thanks, CR, I think I'm experiencing a "decreased level..." myself, and the beer I consumed last night just might have something to do with it. Or maybe it's the drinks I had at lunch.
Posted by: ceeg22 | January 20, 2006 at 02:51 PM
... she hoped the woman, who is 73, would get ``sick and die in diarrhea.''....Instead of giving people the finger when someone cuts you off in traffic, we should just yell this at them from now on..Because you can't help but laugh when you say it ..
Posted by: Sean | January 20, 2006 at 02:58 PM
"Sorry, Boss, I just can't see coming in to work today."
Posted by: Mr. Completely | January 20, 2006 at 03:01 PM
"Visine. It Gets The Dead Out."
Posted by: Mr. Completely | January 20, 2006 at 03:02 PM
Mr. C ~ a friend of mine has a phrase she uses for the condition you describe. Anal glaucoma. Which means you can't see your *ss going back to work.
(This usually occurs after lunch.)
Posted by: southerngirl | January 20, 2006 at 03:10 PM
Suzy Q: I KNEW it sounded familiar...
Posted by: CandyT | January 20, 2006 at 03:16 PM
i can see clearly now the dame is gone... uh, yeah.
hoping someone would die in diarrhea? ewwwww.
Posted by: queensbee | January 20, 2006 at 03:29 PM
ROFLMAO Mr Completely!!! Gets the dead out..Damn your funny....
Posted by: Cindy | January 20, 2006 at 03:30 PM
Want to snuff a co-worker?
There's a Visine for that.
Posted by: Ford79 | January 20, 2006 at 05:08 PM
Umm, just the fact that her name is "Morning Star Vaber" indicates that she isn't coming from the world's strongest gene pool, if you get my drift.
Posted by: artchick | January 20, 2006 at 05:43 PM
Actually, artchick, that gene pool seems to be "stronger than dirt." If that were not so, we'd have a dearth of fodder for our excellent blog!
Posted by: Stupendous Man | January 20, 2006 at 05:56 PM
Perhaps her name should be "Morning Star Vader", offspring of the Death Star?
Posted by: Guin | January 20, 2006 at 07:47 PM
It was most definatley a CSI episode. A poker player puts the drops in the drink of the man sitting next to her...
Remind me not to get old, and if I do, remind me not to move to the Keys.
Posted by: Jacki | January 20, 2006 at 08:45 PM
Confusing quote: ... sick and die in diarrhea ...
WTD?
IN diarrhea?
(Well, granted, NEone who might fall into a pit of such stuff might well die -- or wish they could -- tho I find the syntax to be sinful ...)
OK -- she's not the sharpest ... heck, boy ... she's about as sharp as a cardboard butter knife ...
Posted by: U.O | January 20, 2006 at 08:51 PM
Funny Name...*snirk* (a *snirk* is a more refined version of a *snork*)
We don't see Milton here often; refreshing!
Posted by: Betsy | January 20, 2006 at 08:54 PM
What, Bets' ... I think Uncle Miltie would fit right in here ... except ... he might be having a conversation with Generalissimo Franco ... or John Ritter ...
Posted by: U.O | January 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
OK, I'm confused - why would Francisco Franco be hangin' out with the likes of Uncle Miltie and John Ritter?
Posted by: TCK | January 20, 2006 at 10:57 PM
If I really disliked someone I would certainly hope they died in diarrhea. But I'm pretty sure that a few Tijuana tacos would accomplish it better than Visine spiked tea.
Posted by: bbescuela | January 20, 2006 at 10:58 PM
Thank you one and all, I was having a blue evening and this just perked me up. Now I'll go finish my chores for the evening.
Posted by: monkeyshines | January 20, 2006 at 11:03 PM
Who came up with the idea of spiking anything with Visine?
Francisco Franco, Milton Berle, John Ritter. Hmm
Well, I know that two out of the three have dressed in drag. Don't know about the John Ritter, though.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 20, 2006 at 11:32 PM
sly...har!
Or two of them were comics, and Franco was a running gag on SNL?
or...perhaps the most basic commonality: all are deceased...departed...have ceased to be...are ex-notables...thus making blogging difficult.
(Although Walter seems to have no problem)
Posted by: Betsy | January 20, 2006 at 11:42 PM
If you've ever seen me blog, you'd know I have a problem.
Posted by: Walter | January 20, 2006 at 11:46 PM
You got it, Bets' ... they're all deceased ... apparently my attempt to confuse the question with convolutions and conundrums in addition to obscure references was somewhut successful ...
(I've had about 2.5 hours sleep in the last 41 hours ... you mebbe don't wanna get too close to figgerin' out how my so-called "thought" processes operate at times like this ...) (Oddly enuf, I'm still awake, despite having been done with werk since about five hours ago ... must be the pizza ... or the Snickers (tm) bars ...)
Posted by: U.O | January 21, 2006 at 12:22 AM
...late post - but the star part of the name got me thunkin about by favorite toon hero, http://www.homestarrunner.com
Posted by: Jones in Ohio | January 22, 2006 at 09:29 AM
Ugh, this deranged idea came from 'The Wedding Crashers,' when one of the guys puts eyedrops in his rival's drink. In the movie it just causes the runs but I remember thinking "In real life this would get you seven to ten at hard labor." Maybe there should be a disclaimer, like "Nimrod, don't try anything in this movie yourself."
Posted by: Alien8 | January 23, 2006 at 10:50 AM
I actually know this girl! I was friends with her in high school. I can't believe she did this!!!
Posted by: Kat | January 31, 2006 at 07:19 PM
this is sooo over rated. i no morningstar and the 73 year old was a bitch and would always like try to steal shit from morningstar. morningstar was like tall blodne and was a pro volleyball player and was cool unlike the 73 year old whow was a bitch
Posted by: hailey | February 08, 2006 at 09:17 PM
is this her? http://www.trecosales.com/images/agents/morningStar.jpg
Posted by: a d l | May 02, 2006 at 12:38 AM
She's a lowly woman who loves to sleep around with married men. Now is pursuing a career in the health field at Keiser in Miami. Go figure. Want her to work on you?
Posted by: sunnyco | May 05, 2008 at 02:54 PM