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January 23, 2006

MISLEADING/DISAPPOINTING HEADLINE OF THE DAY

(Thanks to Kafaleni)

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O, it's just a football story. :(

Well, they lost anyway.

It's all about the "O, well."

Can you get a "multi dimentional O" while wearing corderourys with vertical piping?

And Carolina tries to go to sleep feeling unsatisfied.

walking very quickly should generate enough dangerous crotch heat to facilitate multi-dimensional O's.. or was that an old Star Trek episode?....

"Captain, I dunna think she can take any more multi-dimensional O's... She's breakin' up..."

"Give it all she's got Scotty, we're getting dangerously hot in the Crotchal Levels, as well as in the Vertical Striping!"

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh
Baby please don't go.

Ay ay ay ay ay ay
All those tears I cry ay ay ay ay ay
All those tears I cry ay ay ay ay ay
Baby please don't go.

When I read the letter you wrote, it made me mad mad mad
When I read the news that it brought me, it made me sad sad sad.
But I still love you so, I can't let you go
I love you- ooh baby I love you.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Every breath I take oh oh oh oh oh
Every move I make oh oh oh oh oh
Baby please don't go.

Ay ay ay ay ay ay
You hurt me to my soul ay ay ay ay ay
You hurt me to my soul ay ay ay ay ay
Darling please don't go.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh
(Baby please don't go)

or was it the Vertical Piping!

Yay, mud, a Zeppelin earworm! I love it!

mud - that's a remarkable number of "ohs" you've just given to us at this blog.

You must be exhausted.

those sports guys go raising the bar for us regular guys again...

"was it good for you?"

"i guess, kind of flat though"

Oh?

Oh.

Oh!

Ooooohhh!!1

OOOOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooooooHHHH!!!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH!

ooooooooooooooooooh ...

ohhh ...

O K ... I got nothin' ...

"Can you get a "multi dimentional O" while wearing corderourys with vertical piping?"

And are any oosik-breaking boulders involved?

U.O. - That was a grerat impersonation of Edith Bunker - if I close my eyes I can almost not tell the difference.

OK - it was a GREAT impersonation... stoopit fat fingers!!

Not to get off-topic (who, ME?), that is not only the most misleading headline of the week, but the godawfulest sports analysis I've ever seen. Combines the worst qualities of sports-geekdom and statistics-geekdom. Yeecch! (And I'll bet they all wear cords, too, but totally without getting HCS under any circumstances, ever.)
*stomps off in disgust*

Stifle, haa, will ya, Edith? I'm tryna folla this multi-demented O's explanation of the game heah......

Yeah, mebbe so ... but did Edith close her eyes?

(Coast' ... ya gotta be careful of closin' yer eyes around here ... ya never know when somethin' might be sneakin' up on ya ... like, fer instance, a bloglit with a sock fulla nickels ... just sayin' ...)

Wonderful! Now I have the Ozzy Osbourne/ Lita Ford "classic" Close My Eyes Forever wigging into my ear... THANX U.O (Or is that U.big-O?)

Geek-Police:"Sir, for your own safety, I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the laptop. Do you realize how stupid you were typing? Any idea?"

Sportswriter:"Gee, I thought I sounded pretty good."

Geek-Police:"Sir, you were off the radar on stupid. I'll also have to cite you for reckless use of statistics and indecent exposure to corduroy. You're going to have to come with me."

Sportswriter:"Golly, officer, what's going to happen to me?"

Geek Police: "You'll be assigned to rehab until you kick your stat addiction. And you'll have to appear before a judge, who will probably revoke your license to procreate."

Annie -

He could always use the "poetic license" defense tho ... unless the judge revoked that too ... (numbers don't rhyme as well as words, so that one might not work too well ... just sayin' ...)

U.O - I don't think this guy could pass the written test.

The Multidimensional O's WBAGNFARB.

Also WBAGNFA marital aid.

*hands U.O a towel... and a wet-nap... and some hand sanitizer.

hahahahahahahaha1

Rite (not Write) ON! ... Annie ... (Someone who uses stats like this guy has made a religion of it, IYCMD ...)

After all of the tortured statistical analysis of this painful to read article, in the conclusion we get this brilliant deduction:

"Carolina will have to outscore Seattle to punch a ticket to Detroit."

Well, duh! I too could have reached this conclusion after blathering on and on about the square root of the inverse ratio of yardage gained to points allowed blah blah blah. The sad thing is that this guy gets paid to do it.

Thank you for bringing him to justice, Annie.

This guy makes me nostalgic for the simpler days (last summer) when we just used to get stats like "...and that's the first right-field fly caught left-handed by a rookie after returning from the disabled list following a groin injury in the second game of a twi-night double header in August..."

When I was a girl, *snort*, we had REEEAL statistics, like RBI's and FG's and TKO's. But we gave them sports geeks relational databases, and it's been downhill ever since.

OK...I have to work now; the Sudafed and Coke are working and I need to surf the wave...

... um ... Bets' ...

would that be Sudafed™ and Coke™ ... or ... some other non-trademarked type of somethin' ... just wonderin' ...

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