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January 20, 2006

MEANWHILE IN SAN DIEGO

Terror stalks the streets seats.

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Alright, hold your noses:

Looks like the police have nothing to go on. (Rimshot).

"flush out a suspect" and "left no paper trail". Someone had fun writing this article. And cleanbutt.com? What kind of url is that?

KOW -

a very tidy one ...

I smell (heh) a promotional genius at work...the link to the manufacturer is a giveaway.
OK...having posted, I guess I have to check out the link; brb.

Well, they have a webpage, a slightly warped copy writer, and they're in New Jersey. I clicked on their warranty, and notice it doesn't cover acts of God. It didn't mention Acts of Congress...

Bets' ...

How about acts of elimination?

Looks like the KibEl Detective agency needs to get on this right away!

Once I come back from the "library" though....

Mornin', UO...actually, I borrowed the term "acts of Congress" from one of Dave's columns on low-flow toilets. He used it in a tasteful manner as a euphemism for...oh wait! The gummint is watching all us bloggers now. I'll just slip out the side door...

P D-S ...

Yeah ... I no whut yew meen ...

Dem really nice people @ gummint are sure nice people, ain't dey?

Check the college dorms. Something tells me the little ol' lady with the 16 cats is not the culprit. Accomplice maybe.

Are the police looking for hot leads, or are they just sitting on this case?

The funny (not HA-HA) thing about this, to me, anyway, is that it has never, ever been cold enough in San Diego to chill guacamole, much less warrant a pre-warmed toilet seat.

How come I get all the crap cases?

"Police are hoping someone recognizes the container for the toilet seat, which looks like a Samsonite suitcase."

Great, just great! As if there aren't enough delays at the airport terminal, now they'll be opening every suspicious Samsonite suitcase.

Customs: Do you have anything to declare?
Dave: This is NOT a high-end (har!) toilet seat case.
Customs: Then is it a low-end toilet seat case?
Dave: No! It's a SUITcase, you Nimrod, not a seat case!
Customs: Sir, you'll need to step carefully (har!) over here for Security.

MOTW: With a mandatory cavity search no doubt.

Lairbo - *snork*

You're absolutely right, except for the fact that at this moment, approx. 7am PST, it's 47F outside, but quite warm in one room of my house!!!

Lairbo...this is what happens when ignorant New Jerseans attempt to meet west coast needs. Another example of New Jersey's failed foreign policy...

Crap, the Toilet-Seat Mafia strikes again! Bastards!

Betsy:
I just asked an acquaintance from New Jersey about his state's failed foreign policy, and he replied (and I quote), "I gotcher foreign policy right here, pal," then slammed his right fist into his left palm in a vaguely threatening manner.

Anyone see the toilet seat at their web site? It has a place for your beer can! coooool

kibby - so the hoidy-toidy seat handles input AND output.

Sure does MOTW! And it beats trying to use those can holders you hang from the window groove in your car door!

....I wonder if they come with cooler plates?

Lairbo...I hope your Jersey friend understands that I was only joshing in a jocular manner, while admiring his muscles and envying his girlfriend, Pinky Tuscadero.

Betsy - Pinky Tuscadero ... Snork!

Betsy:

Shhhhh! I'm hiding under my desk until he stops humming the tune of "Born to Run" and "adjusting" a certain low-slung body part that may or may not be nicknamed "Walter".

They devoted a SLIDE-SHOW to this article.
It has pictures. Of no toilet.
5 of them.

i just knew this would be on the blog today when i saw it on the today show this morning. i couldnt wait to get to work and see if it was here. you people NEVER (i had to do caps, cuz i don't know how to do italics)disappoint me!

SD girl: My thermometer read 43F inside! (Of course, that was right next to the open window.)

As for the fancy throne-topper, are we sure that was a shed it was in? Back in my Iowa-spent summers, sheds like that had a little moon on the door. (No one wants to be where you can see the other moon.)

". . . detectives are looking to flush out a suspect."

If Russia gets hold of this technology, we're SOL. Jack Bauer needs to take the 5 fwy south asap.

I'd be surprised if the police came up with any leads in this case, since they have nothing to go on. *sorry, couldn't resist* I have to agree with whomever said that they don't need this thing in San Diego. SoCal is warm all the time. They should be exporting to Minnesota, Canada, and Russia. I just heard (via the NY Times) that the temperature in Russia has "warmed up" to 20 below zero. That's cold even by Northern U.S. standards.

If they want to recover this item, I'd suggest that the police begin their search in the more effluent areas of San Diego.

Or maybe the police should contact TicketBastard (tm). They've sold me several crap seats in the past...

Hmmm.... $2700 for a toilet seat?

Is the military involved anywhere?

This has FOX made-for-tv movie written all over it.

Maybe Jack Bauer can shoot the perpetrator in the thigh.

If Jack takes the 5 (in any direction) ... we're doomed ...

Nah, 20 below (Fahrenheit) isn't really cold in Nodak ... um ... as long as I'm here in SoCal ... just sayin' ...

(Seriously, 35 or 40 below is not uncommon back where I useta live ... and that's in July!)

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