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January 29, 2006

LEGAL DEFENSE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"I wanted to eat him, but I didn't want to kill him."

(Thanks to Eaglie)

Comments

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For the FIRST time, I gotta say...I got nothin'

Second.

A lot of people feel that way...about cows. (Easy now, beefy people!)

"Psychiatrists have found Meiwes deeply disturbed but sane." Sane? Why, because he knew which fork to use?

Whatever ...

(and ... Yuck, for stoopid!)

Wow, that's really sick.
Good job Dave.

"Ya want Fred with that?"

Jack Bauer is a vegetarian. Not because he doesn't like meat, but because he hates vegetables.

Those wacky, penis eatin' Germans. I'm pretty sure I missed that episode of Hogan's Heroes, although there WAS something funny about Major Hochstetter.

"Psychiatrists have found Meiwes deeply disturbed but sane..."

this whole topic is deeply disturbed

Those whacky penis-eatin' Germans?
That WBAGNFARB.
IMHO.

8>

More proof that if there exists any sexual perversion,
It is magnified and focused on clearly, just look on the internet.

What i wonder is, How did all these people meet one another BEFORE the internet.
Did they just bring it up at dinner?
"Nah, nothing on this menu seems to be what i want right now. I want some poop."
Or did the wait till they were mid-coitus?
Then take a dump?
"Nah baby, lets finish up, then clean up."
Eeeeugh.

Maybe i don't really wanna know that bad...

Eeew.

The Us legal system, faulted as it is, suddenly doesn't look so bad. They should have given this guy the electric chair...for life.

"Ah, bite me...Hey. HEY! HEY HEY HEY! Stop it! It was a figure of speech!"

Der Kannibale ist verrückt. Das ist furchtbar. Und grotesk.

Q: Why did the cannibal get suspended from school?
A: He was buttering the teacher up.

*ducks and runs away*

That's kinda what I was thinking Brainy. When the guy said he wanted to be eaten, do you think he meant something a little less final but much more enjoyable?

Also, how did the defendant think that praying would help, "Dear God, please reattach this man's penis so I can get him to the hospital, but no one will know how sick and twisted I am." And why stab a dead guy? sick sick sick...definitely NOT sane.

Maybe somebody should have told him about this stuff. http://www.eathufu.com/home.asp

Two items:

Item 1. Old joke -- (Gotta do a setup, or nobody except some New Englanders will have a chance to get it -- There's a hospital in Boston (or used to be) named after some Pilgrim dude, or someone ... Peter Bent Brigham ...)

OK

Guy flags down a cab near the zone, crawls in -- moaning and groaning in pain -- says "Get me to a hospital, quick!"

Cabbie (knowing the area) says, "Peter Bent?"

Guy: "Gawd, no! I think she bit it off!"

Item 2.

I'm reminded once again of the immortal words of Lewis Carroll:

Eat me.

Bumble- Ya mein freund. It's to bad I can only read German and not write it. Other wise I would have some great jokes here.

This asks the question on how to properly judge a cannibal. Is it lunacy. Or just way beyond what we should do when we ask for seconds.

I'm reminded of this story:

"Woman Sues Man For Not Killing Her"

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Which is kind of like Mr Incredible being sued for saving someone's life!

Why can't I get this song out of my head?

SM..

To me, this seems consensual.. and to quote (in a slightly abridged fashion) brilliant comedian Billy Connolly "Over here, you've got people who want to eat human flesh and over there, you've got people starving because there's not enough food to go around. Introduce group A to group B - problem solved! You eat someone I hate and I'll eat someone you hate. Pretty soon the world will be a better place. Then we can eat the criminals. Homeless people? We'll give em a jail cell!"

The saddest part was that the guy then sued himself because he found a finger in his food.

OK, stick a fork in me. I'm done.

I am so sick of lawyers splitting hairs and re-defining everything to suit their purpose, I mean I can accept the three classifications, insane, outsane and butt-sane, but they have to make up a new one, "deeply disturbed butt-sane" which is supposed to make it OK for this guy to eat a schlong just because he knew which fork to use they don't even mention what sort of condiments were used, so how are we supposed to know?

From Mr. C's link:

"Ryder met Reeves in 2003 when both were getting mental health treatment..."

For what? These people sound perfectly sane to me. (let the voice in your head drip with sarcasm as it reads that)

Kaffy-Moo~ I dunno, but your song reminds me of this song.

*hooks Blue Meanie about the neck with a shepherd's crook*

*snork*

Hey honey I might have cooked this a bit too long - does this taste Bernd to you?

Bumble, I must warn you that, unlike Signore Completelioni, I am of German descent (aber du hast das wahrscheinlich schon gemerkt). And I'm feeling a little peckish.

*(Did I write that out loud?)*

BULLETIN

For bloglits between St. Louis and Texas; please read this Amber Alert. A little girl has been kidnapped by her grandma. At the time of the kidnapping, the grandma was free on bond for murder.

Thank you.

Return to regular blogging.

CoastR - you Otto try cooking with a cast iron pan.

Nah BM - next time I think I will try cooking with a Brandes sauce

Blue~ Not to worry. I'll keep you in check. Ask TCK about my double-post slaps. ;-)

Bumble,

Message received. I noticed there's a whole team of you ladies out there slappin' TCK about the blog. (Not without some provocation, I note also).

Your cue, TC...

The Bauer's apprentice.

Blue, he's not so bad. Bumble & I know how to keep him in line, right Bumble? Along with Annie and El, for that matter.

SG - I've seen the tag-team routine y'all have. It's quite a show, and the "victim" seems more than a little willing, given the amount of bait he................offers.

Yea, Blue, I believe you're right. He protests, just a little, but I think that's only for show,and that he actually loves the attention.

Yes, s'girl, we are definitely The A Team in that regard! The only thing that bothers me is that he seems to enjoy it! :)

Blue - need translation, please.

Bumble - that's the same thing I thought when I read Mr. C's link - great minds, etc. :)

yep - got 'em right where I want 'em

El - aber du hast das wahrscheinlich schon gemerkt means "meet me by the swings in fifteen minutes".

Alright, actually, it's "but you probably guessed that already", but you probably guessed that already.....

southerngirl~ Yes indeed.

El~ I turned in our "great minds" brief five minutes ago. Cross your fingers!

TCK~ That's what you think.

Blue~ *snork*

*runs off to German class*

*fingers crossed*

*crosses toes for extra credit*

*trips and falls down in a heap*

I guess I'll just stick with fingers. :)

See, ladies? We DO have him right where we want him, which is thinking he's a step ahead of us, when we all know that's not the case.

*crosses fingers for Bumble, too*

*offers El a hand*

*Sends ginchie [don't know German word for that] vibes to Bumble*

*Extends helping hand to El.*

*Murmurs prayer for TCK*

southerngirl - maybe you thinking that I'm thinking that I'm a step ahead of you, but you thinking I'm really not, IS right where I want you...

Blue Meanie - thanks for the prayer (although since I'm way high on the blasphemy meter lately, I don't expect a lot of divine intervention on my behalf)

Bumble - good luck with the brief, although we all know you don't need luck (cuz you've got brilliance going for you), even if you don't

oh, and southerngirl - please notice that I spelled "brief" correctly, thereby relieving you of your usual compulsion to correct my spelling :)

Blue ~ TCK is right about the blasphemy...that's why he's always hiding out under my bed.

TCK, that first comment made me kinda confused. (Yeah,I know, that's right where you want me,huh?)And I already told you I wouldn't correct your spelling anymore. Didn't you believe me? ;)

*walks away muttering...dang...if he'd only written "friend", I'da had him*

southerngirl - 'course I beleived you - I just thought, you bein' female and all, that you wouldn't be able to help yourself...

wait, did I say that out loud?

TCK, I believe that you spelled "beleived" incorrectly.

You deserved that one, you know?

And I'll getcha for the "female" comment.

southerngirl - maybe I misspelled "beleived" on purpose to test you - in which case you failed..

(I didn't really)

But, how exactly are you gonna get me? You know how hot it makes me when you get pissed, and start goin' at me with that sexy southern accent you got..

Blue/El/TCK/southerngirl (did I miss anyone?)~ Thanks for the luck. Throw in a prayer while you're at it. Except TCK, who might offend the good Lord on my behalf. I really don't like this class.

TCK & southerngirl~ You are bad. But that's not news to anyone, is it?

*runs off to do the long procrastinated upon accounting Hausaufgabe*

I'm a single guy, learning the ins and outs of cooking... recently discovered Paul prudhommmes cannibal magic... just passing it along to all you good folks!

Who else besides me didn't get to see Bumble's briefs? Dang! I always miss the good stuff.

SM- I'll send you what El saw if you so desire, but it's kind of yawn worthy. :-)

Key Quote:

Meiwes told the court, repeating much of his testimony from his first trial, that he had severed Brandes's penis at his request and that both had tried to eat it, without success.


Without success??

First how hard can it be? (um, no pun intended)
Second, what kind of cannibal can't eat people??

Thats what I was wondering. What, did they each try a bite and choked it?

Bubba and Trank - do we really want to know the answer to that?

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