GO FIGURE

Comments

[Christobol]

I went. I figured.

I came up with "42".

Well, I may have cheated.

[Kafaleni]

43!

[Lmd33]

One-word reason - ICK!!!!

[«LabSpecimen»]

Bet that took you a while, too, C-bol.

Hey, you've seen one two-headed snake, you've seen them all.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Those things are a dime a dozen . . .

[Blue Meanie]

MKJ - "Tedsbay" speak with forked tongue(s).

[Christobol]

I almost put a bid in, but they couldn't guarantee it would hold still while I put it in the chocolate wanky cloninator.

[Kafaleni]

Chocolate Wanky Cloninators WBAGNFA transvestite RB

[Ken]

I thought Jack Abramoff had sealed up all the bidding on two headed snakes.

[Annie Where-but-here]

doesn't the Senate need a mascot?

[arlen]

that looks like senator kennedy.

[What's my Line]

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"Kity, you go firt."

[queensbee]

whew. i thought i was gonna have to do some math. i signed up for this blog because there is no math.

[bennet surf]

"kitty, meet me after the show at Gary's place."

[nobody]

has bennet surf been confirmed to the house of supreme court represenatives?

[big headed todd]

I used to have a freak snake. Now he plays for tommy lee.

[Federal Duck]

"Sonnenschein said he was surprised but not disappointed. Besides, he said, all is not lost."

"We've decided, in lieu of the $150,000 dollars, to charge people $10 bucks a pop to whack it with a shovel. So there's always that."

[Down in Texas]

Ken. No Bill Clinton sealed it.

[ArcticAl]

Maybe GW could give it a cabinet level appointment.

[Christobol]

"Mr. Sonnenschein?"
"Yes Peg?"
"It's about our Whack-A-Snake booth."
"Yes?"
"We got a customer."
"Super!"
"And now the snake is all, well, whacked, and I'd say you can't say for sure if there's two squished heads or what."
"Dang. Oh well, where's my $10?"
"Erm. Well, he traded us a Swatch he swears once belonged to Supreme Court nominee Alito."
"Hot diggity. Log me into e-bay!"

[Clark Kent]

C-Bol,
OK, your answer is 42. But what was the question?

Therein lies the meaning of life, I suspect....

[Down in Texas]

Maybe GW could give it over to the Democrats since they define the meaning of two-faced, double minded snakes in the grass.

[Christobol]

The question was:

"Carl boards an eastbound train in Chicago wearing his new ipod jeans and juggling three chocolate clones of Mr. Wiggly. Jen begins hitchhiking in Vermont wearing nothing but her clothes and a knowing smile, though what it knows is actually hogwash. If Emily acts quickly, and factoring in the cube root of the absolute viscosity of velveeta, how many MANGO MANGO FOXTROT MONKEY CHILI FRUCTOSE THERMOMETER ABORT ABORT ABORT 6-24 EPSILON CHER BOOGER."

So, you're probably right.

[TCK]

Ok, they named it "We"

[Clark Kent]

Heh.... Heh... Heh...

You said booger....

[Ken]

Are you sure it's not a French snake named Oui?

Or a female golfing snake named Wei?

[Ken]

Come to think of it, it could be a small Scottish snake named Wee.

Or a snake that likes roller coasters named Whee!

[WE]

Ken - We are not amused

[Jacki]

Completely ignoring the topic at hand: I was called a "lady" today, as in, I am old...

I stopped to help a girl on the highway who had a flat tire. She was on her way to school, and I was thinking the local college. But actually she was a junior in high school.

I told her I would give her a ride, so she borrowed my cell and called her mom. The following conversation ensued: "Mom, I've got a f*c*ing flat tire. Yes, Mom, I'm sure it's f*c*ing flat. Yeh, well anyway, this lady stopped and she'll give me a ride to school".

When did I become a lady?

[Christobol]

Jacki - it's hard to be exact, but probably around the time youngsters started respecting you enough not to say "this f*(king chick stopped and will give me a ride."

[Sarcasmo]

At least she didn't say "this f*c*ing old lady stopped" "yes, Mom, I'm SURE she's f*c*ing OLD, she's gotta be at least 30".

[Sarcasmo]

At least she didn't say "this f*c*ing old lady stopped" "yes, Mom, I'm SURE she's f*c*ing OLD, she's gotta be at least 30".

[Sarcasmo]

Curse you typepad.

[Bucket]

Perhaps that gentleman..... er... lady.... er...person in India needs another husband... er... wife... er.... snake(s)....

[Siggy]

They're calling that thing an "albino rat snake," but it's a corn snake if I've ever seen one (and I have, I own one, and they're precious snakes. Same family as rat snakes, but not quite the same thing, and not truly "albino" at all, just bred without the black pigment). I'd buy it in a heartbeat, if the price tag wasn't so high. Beautiful snake(s).

That, folks, was your resident snake nut fun fact of the day. Knowledge is power.

And Jacki...kids today have no respect. I'm ashamed to be in the same "under 30" generation with them. Ignorant little low-flow toilet mouthed brats!

*ends cranky old lady mode and goes back to being a college student*

[Christobol]

Come to think of it, I'd buy it in a heartbeat too.

'Course, it'd need to be like, George Washington's heartbeat.

[Siggy]

Nevermind...I saw another close up picture of the heads...the scales are slightly different...it is a rat snake (though still not truly albino).

*shoves foot in mouth*

[Eleanor]

...the universe and everything, Clark.

[ERE]

man, i love corn snakes!

but, only with low-fat milk.

[Jacki]

Good point Sarcasmo - for the record I am one decade away from understanding life, the universe and everything. That is what happens right? Right????

[southerngirl]

*snork* @ ERE!

[Clark Kent]

I thought the meaning of life and everything else would come to me when I hit 40, which happened like two weeks ago....

All I got was a big headache (everyone was buying me Jager shots for some reason) and I discovered I have to pee a lot more at 40.

Not sure that helps me in the mysteries of life department....

[Clark Kent]

WAIT! Maybe I have to be 42!

Sweet.... Just two more years to go.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Jacki - in contrast to that f*ckin' pottymouth, you ARE a lady.

[Brainy Jello]

The troubling part is that Jacki is, in fact, a man.

(just kidding, Jacki!)

[gjcjax]

Well... who would have wanted to be twice bitten??? HELLO?

[Alfred]

Jacki- Lots of my highschool friends thought they where really cool for cussing. Sort of like how cool the latch key kids seemed. But during College they figure out the words meaning and it all changes.
Really I have had a terrible problem with trying to figure out words that are not in fact cusswords. I tried Smeg for a while because of the show Red Dwarf. But then it turned out to be bad.
Quick how do you say Squirrel in Czeck?

[Christobol]

Alfred, it's "cocksucker!"

Run with it.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Alfred, it's "Christobol!"
Run away!

[Ken]

Gjcjax, that would be "Whitesnake". Oh no, that was ONCE bitten, TWICE shy (babe). Anyway, this snake may be albino, but it's not white.

[TCK]

OK, I'll be 40 in the not too distant future, and I seem to have what was referred to above as a "potty mouth" - I think I know what all the words mean, but I like to use them anyway - sometimes there's only one way to really get your point across...

on the other hand, daughter #2 (6 years old) was assisting me the other day in some home repairs, which involved me smashing my thumb with the hammer, which inevitably led to me shouting FU*K!! (or is that F*CK? I can never remember)

Anyway, she very seriously said:

"Daddy, that's a bad word - if you were a pirate, you would say 'aarrrrrr - shiver me timbers!'"

"Aarrrrr, shiver me timbers!" is currently the cuss word of choice around our house...

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Christo-b: you know you're not supposed to run with those . . .

[Jacki]

*snork* at Brainy. Aarr, shiver me timbers, me secret is out!

My 2.5 year old can't say her own name but is quite adept at using sh*t in the proper context.

[Christobol]

MKJ - I thought if you waited an hour after eating...

Anyway, Al, I may have mistranslated that, but you said "quick", and I didn't have time to check my Czech to English dictionary, which in any event I don't have.

[Sherbert]

<>

Ah, swearing. As this blog's resident teenager, I can assure you all that it is not the question of an appropriate situational swear, but rather trying to remember any other words to use in conversation.

"F***, hey. I was f***ing walking down the street, like f***king yesterday, and I it was f***ing f***ed up. It looked like a f***ing, what do you call it..."
"An albino two-heading snake named We?"
"F***ing right!!"

If only I were exaggerating.

<>

[Chuck]

I can't believe that 55 comments have gone by and not a single one about the whole load of perk at the top of the page.

[southerngirl]

ahem - Ken - "Once Bitten Twice Shy" is, in fact, Great White, not Whitesnake.

Just sayin'

[southerngirl]

Similar story to TCK's ~ Mr. S was driving home with our 12 year old son and 9 year daughter when he got a phone call telling him to go back to work. Forgetting for a moment that the kids were present, he very forcefully said "F*CK!" Dead silence. Then my daughter said "Whoa, Dad, that is the MOTHER of all bad words!" His head did not explode from holding in his laughter only b/c of his great restraint.

[Noob]

When my son was a toddler, he ran into the living room and stubbed his toe on a shelving unit we had. His reaction was, "Dammit, sh*t!*

I didn't have the heart to correct him. After all, I wouldn't have been that nice.

[Edgar Greenberg]

That's because it wasn't albino. I WARNED THEM

[MzVette]

I agree that sometimes colorful words are needed. Being a sailor in the military (sort of... a desk sailor at the moment) I am very friendly with colorful words.

[Kitty]

Bennet Surf --

No, I'm board with you ... I'm going to Durwood's place ... I'll let you guess as to the reason why ...

[Somewhere North]

I dunno. I have cussed when I've spun the car out in the snow or spilled boiling water on myself or dropped an extremely heavy object on my foot, but everyday conversation? C'mon. How hard is it to think of an adjective?

And NEVER in front of the children. I do a lot of "umph, ohumph ohmyflippin aaargh" but no way am I giving them permission to throw that at me.

[Ken]

SouthernGirl, Thank you for clearing that up and I can't TELL you how happy I am that I don't know the groups well enough to get that right! :)

[Ken]

Couldn't this guy double his speed by using We?

[southerngirl]

Ken, I believe that song is the only one I know by Great White, cause it played on the radio over, and over, and over... I do like Whitesnake, though.

And speaking of snakes....that link you posted? Eeewwww!

[kibby F5™]

Alfred, "veverka" is the Czech for Squirrel

sorry that wasn't quick.

[CandyT]

"So, babe, you like Whitesnake?"
"Ooh, yeah, David Coverdale is so hot."
"A little later, wanta come to my place and see my two-headed snake?"
*SMACK!*
"Hey, what was that for?"