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January 24, 2006

FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW

MMMMM! What's that smell?

(Thanks to Dr. Doug)

Comments

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eew, eew, eew.

oh ... and first?

Frankly, I don't buy it.

Is that where Dr. John gets his gris gris dust?

Husband: "My dear that's a lovely perfume you have on this evening."

Wife: "Why thank you, it's called ambergris."

Husband: "My, my I must say it really puts me in the mood for well, uhmm, you know..."

Wife: "Well it should, it cost 225 bazillion dollars at VanSnobby's"

Husband: "225 bazillion dollars! Well that's just crazy!"

Wife: "But my dear just how much would you expect to pay for a perfume made from odd-looking, fatty, and foul-smelling waste matter that floats around in the ocean?

Husband: "Wow, I didn't know that part! In that case, bring out the whale vomit more often, cuz nothing turns me on more than that!

As a young woman with sweat glands... Well, just, "No, thanks," on the whale vomit, 'k?

And I thought men drowning in cologne was disgusting before...

So let me see if I've got this right. Women will be walking around with bat shit on their eyes smelling of whale puke....

Thank God they have boobs... All I'm saying.....

Clark - yeah, boobs full of silicone.

So THATS what Jonah was doing ou tthere for so long!!

So THATS what Jonah was doing out there for so long!!

OK, most people just look for seashells

This actually *ahem* came up in an earlier post

Since my previous comment was apparently a conversation killer, I'll go ahead and post the

So a bulimic whale is a cash cow?

Don't forget that many cosmetics are made from bat guano (maybe I should also comment this on the previous post)!

Mr.C~ Not all of them. *winks*

I have an extremely weak stomach. If I could get that much for my... never mind. I sure wouldn't need grants though.

Whoops, missed Clark Kent's comment.

Now we know why it's called "Streaky Beach"

(conveniently located in "Lumps O' Puke State Park", to get there, you take the Intestinal Bypass)

Please, nobody 'bring up' sperm whales or I'm gonna hurl...

Annie WBH -
I already did. :(

so, annie, what do people make out of *your* vomit?! :)

Dad - "Ishn't dat a cutesy widdle baby dat Daddy's got? yesheis, yesheis - koochi koochi, koochi ..."

Baby - blat

Dad - "Quick, Honey, scoop up the baby's vomit. Junyer's gonna make us rich!"

Mama - "Uh, Dear, that's just true for whale vomit."

Dad - "Well, lookit 'im - he's a whopper! Takes after me, he sure does!"

Mama - *yes, in more ways than one, poor thing*

Is there a secret cabal of people who deliberately pick gross or ridiculous things and sell them to people for lots of money?

And is it just me, or is it possible to sell any ridiculous item, convincing people of its value simply by charging too much for it?

"Wow, honey! This whale vomit must be classy! Do you see how much they're charging for it? Come on, after we by you some of this, we'll celebrate our new investment with some of that expensive coffee that gets fermented in bat-intestines and recovered from their poop."

Yum.

Actually, I sort of like the smell of ambergris. And it is very recognizable. One day, I went into a local newage store (rhymes with sewage), and noticed they had little chunks of (low quality) ambergris. I overheard the clerk explaining that it was "unfossilized amber". (I've heard of such a product being sold, but this was ambergris).

Sometimes the owner of the shop would come across some fairly rare or odd things (even really expensive stuff) for the store, so I wasn't _completely_ surprised to see some ambergris.

I explained that no, it was a whale product, but she immediately assumed that I was accusing her of harpooning whales or something, and began to yell that she would _never_ kill a whale, and I was just a horrible person for suggesting it.

So I said "No, no... you don't kill the whale to get it, they just throw it up."

She told me that whales don't vomit, and that I was making things up, and that even if they did vomit, they wouldn't vomit up rocks, because whales only eat plankton.

The customer ran over to intervene, and offered the clerk some aromatherapy oil to help her "center". The scent (or so claimed the label)? Ambergris. The conversation went downhill from there.

I have to say, that was one of the strangest conversations.

bleah. i dont know what ambergris is. stone? whalebarf? what? it sounds dizgusting to me. a resounding FEH!

And thanks to me, too! (who sent it in this afternoon.) (just patting myself on the back - no offense to Blog Goddess judi!)

judi - I'm in marketing. I think that answers your question.

Clark Kent -

I've heard it said that if they didn't hav ... um ... nevermind ...

REALLY!

FORGET I BROUGHT IT UP!

Bringing up ambergris, however, is another ball of wax ...

U.O - what happened to that quiet corner you were supposedly in on the other thread? Your comments went far enough around that we appealed to the 3rd base umpire and ....strike 3!

If I knew how to link, I'd apologize unreservedly ...

U.O - I can take a hint:

For your link,
1) type in a 'less than' symbol
2) with no space after the 'less than' symbol, type A HREF="

(you need a space between the A and the HREF, and the quote is also part of what you type in)

3) after the quote, type or paste in the entire URL of whatever it is you're linking to
4) after the URL, type in a quote and a 'greater than' symbol
5) type in the text that you want to appear as your link
6) with no spaces between, type in a 'less than' symbol, then /A, then a 'greater than' symbol

Altogether, what you end up with will look like this as you type it, except the open brackets should be 'less than' symbols and the close brackets should be 'greater than' symbols:

[A HREF="your link's URL"]the text that should appear[/A]

Once posted, what will show as the link will only be whatever you entered in place of "the text that should appear"

Wowser, Blue!

That's the clearest set of instructions (on this subject) I've seen since ... um ... well, ever ...

My problem with this specific link/post was that I din't really know how/where to find that "apologize unreservedly" sound bite item ... until I had some sleep, and kinda figgered out how I coulda done it ...

TNX4 the assistance ... I'll be copying and pasting your version on my crib sheet, for the next time ...

U.O - thanks for the nice words. I truly hate badly-worded or incomplete instructions, and try mightily never to commit that sin. Yeah, I usually end up getting verbose, but I'd rather that than hear from someone "what you gave me didn't work", or, in the case of driving directions "I got lost following your directions".

Blue Meanie - I'm hip. As a Technical Writer, my professional life revolves around writing instructions and such. It bugs me to NO END when I see crappy instructions - especially ones that were translated out of Chinese (no offense to the Chinese) through Bantu via that weird African clicking language and then into English...

As far as being verbose, I feel that it's better to have too much information than not enough.

//end rant

Used in flavoring. What?

Is this what Mountain Dew is all about?

This reads like stereo instructions ...

Sixth favorite line from Beetlejuice ... just sayin' ...

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