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January 19, 2006

BOOK TOUR UPDATE

Thanks to the folks who came to my booksigning tonight in Atlanta. Several people boldly identified themselves as having connections with this blog, including Tamara (Rhymes with Camera) who continued the increasingly disturbing trend of people giving me gifts by presenting me with a giant Rice Krispie treat oosik, which can be seen being clutched nervously in the exclusive CrapCam photo below. I don't know how Tamara made this oosik, and I don't want to know.
Oosik

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Hmmm. Is Dave man enough to eat it?

Crap cam or not Tamara, you're darn cute! Hey, am I first on this one?

Dang. To quote Maxwell Smart, "Missed it by that much!"

YAY YAY YAY YAY! I just got home--haven't uploaded my own pic yet (which is fuzziER than the CrapCam one!).

I sang the "Dave" song all the way home. (You know, the song where you tunelessly sing the name "Dave" over and over again in any voice you can manage to squeak out of your happy throat? Oh, just me?)

Dave gave me a HUG and posed for my camera, and then we posed with the oosik for the CrapCam.

Thanks again, Dave--very much. :)

I'll post the photo and other highlights later, after I'm back down from my Dave-High. ;)

PS "I don't know how Tamara made this oosik, and I don't want to know." HA!!!

Awww. Tamara! You're so pretty! I can say that now that I know what you look like. You go, girl!

I'd bet you can do something with that oosik in conjunction with the woolen thong, something that would terrify housekeeping at the hotel or the airport security folks.

Is this "oosik presentation" an example of the glamorous side of booksignings?

Can it get any better than that?

Aaaaaah, oosik.

*does her best Sally Field impersonation*

He liked you!

He really liked you!

(you look fabulous tamara ... *smooches*)

Great post!!!!

Now you must change your name to 'Tamara Picture Taken With the Crap Camera'.

The best part of Dave's book tours is that we get to see what our fellow - what did Dave call us? - look like.

Tamara, you already had a bit of a cult following. Now you're going to have a huge one! :-)

TAMARA!!!!

You ARE Ze Famoose!

Did Dave eat your oosik?

Dave, I have never laughed so hard for an hour straight as I did tonight. You are a National Treasure. Did Mike Luckovich take his raffle winner home?

Leor

"Eat my oosik!"
I'm going to use that as a retort the next time I get into a confrontational situation with someone who could beat the cr*p out of me. Then I'll explain that it is merely a reference to an elongated rice-crispy treat and we will share a hearty laugh. Should work like a charm.

Tamara - ya done good, lady. You don't look a bit nervous there. (I think Dave does a little, though).

tj - Yeah, go with that.

Tamara PTWTCC - What a cutie-pants you are! It's so cool to see what our fellow bloglits look like!

Tamara:"This, dear boy, is my picture with Dave Barry."
Grandchild: "What's that stick, Grandma?"
Tamara:"That, my dear, is a loooong story...."

And once again, it's time to play "Name That Oosik!"

I nominate Snork.

Then again, Peter Assmann....nah.

Is that an oosik in your hand or are you just happy to. . . oh, nevermind.

Tamara - you look fabulous! (As did everyone in the DC booksigning photos, but I was too late to comment meaningfully on those threads.)

And let me SNORK at your gift idea - did you bring him one for Judi too?

SNORK = "Seafaring Nimrod Of Rice Krispies"

Snap, crackle, and GONG?

(Explanation available here, 4th button down)

Yay Tamara! You're pretty, twisted.

Blue~ Oh. For a minute there I thought it might've been the sound of a walrus attempting to mate with a boulder.

*looks at photo again*

*wonders where Tamara's left hand is*

Nah. The boulder just wanted to be friends.

OMG! Tamara is seriously beautiful! And I'm a professional. I know what I'm talking about!

Tamaraaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
*does the Tamara-got-her-picture-taken-plus-there's-an-oosik-involved Dance*


Congratulations to Tamara PTWTCC. Nice oosik!

WOW!! Lookin' good, hon!

Is that a Rice Krispie Oosik in your hands, or are you just glad to see Dave?

Tamara, you already had a bit of a cult following. Now you're going to have a huge one! :-)

Posted by: scat | 10:22 PM on January 19, 2006

Scat, a cult? Isn't that only a different way of saying "stalking"? But done by the masses?

*sees Tamara is still just as disturb(ing)ed as ever - but in a good way - kinda*

Dave - RUN!!!

Oh, WOWSER!

Whatta Babealicious! (As old as I am ... I get a free pass on that one, don't I? Please?)

WTG, Tamara-Camera ... ain't it fun to meet in person, our beloved Davenss?

Way to go Tamara Ryhmes with OOsik!!

You three look Mahvaleous!!

aside: (HA! Punky I forgot a Billy Crystal movie)

Also, I'm with Polly, I wanna know if he ate it.

This is probably the funniest CrapCam picture ever posted on the blog. Tamara's confidence vs. Dave's "WTF is this woman nuts?" expression.

I think I might have experienced a Tamara brush-by at the signing. If I'm right, she's shorter in person than she is on the blog. The line for the signing was set up so the people who'd already had their books signed leave through an exit that could only be reached by cutting through the line of people still waiting. I think they did this on purpose. For whatever reason, I was standing in the part of the the line where people thought they could ask nicely and get through. It was here that I think Tamara made her exit because I remember thinking "Wow, isn't she easy to look at it. Hey, she has a camera. I bet that's her boyfriend of husband carrying it. I can't believe I don't have to pee. I always have to pee in lines..."

Hm? Every ... I usually pee in toilets, not lines ... just sayin' ...

(Unless, of course, I'm writing something in a snowbank ... then it's lines ...)

Yay Tamara. In addition to all the other good stuff mentioned above, you touched the Blue Shirt!

How she made it? Tamara must have bought two or three of these just for you, Dave... .

U.O. -- See, that's the kind of lifestyle tip that keeps me coming back to this blog. I'm gonna try it your way.

You guys are so sweet! Thanks so much!

Every - Must not have been me, because I was almost at the end of the line, and I was alone. Also also, every -- why didn't you tell me you would be there? Bastard! ;)

MiK - Dave told me to look seductively at the oosik, but I said I would look seductively at the camera instead. So I guess that's my "seductive". ;)

BLT - I thought about making one for Judi, but I didn't know if famous persons should actually eat things made by people they don't really know, so I made this oosik "give-away-able". The tag read: "...for Mr Barry or whomsoever he deems worthy to consume his oosik..."

Did I mention that Dave gave me a HUG? I HAD BOTH ARMS FULL OF DAVENESS! *faints*

I kept waking up last night and smiling. But I've got to work, so, really, I'll give a full update and review later.

WTG Tamara Rhymes With Waffles! I'm so happy for you! The Rice Krispie Oosik? BRILLIANT!

every' --

Just trineta be helpful ...

brilliant oosik tamera, and nice to see you... but maybe next time - A NEW NON-BLUE SHIRT!!

btw, Dave, I saw you yesterday on CNN, your 'wig' didn't look at all poofy. I liked the way you were sooooooo happy when the interviewer said they were out of time.

Tamara - Prayers answered - woot! woot! You made it through traffic to and from. What a creative genius you are, and yes, I must agree w/ those above, you are pretty. Awesome job, girlfriend!

Hey, guys, I have an idea - we go to book signings to meet Dave and get his signature, right? Why doesn't Dave get the bloglits to autograph his shirt? Not necessarily the one he has on, but he could certainly bring an autograph book just for bloglit signatures, couldn't he?

What's that - oh, you're only supposed to gather autographs of people you ADMIRE GREATLY. Guess that explains it, then. Nevermind.

WTG Tamara! Nice bone!

Ooooooooo, Tamara, you are HAWT! :)

Way to go! Great oosik, very creative!

Tamara, you are gorgeous, as usual! Great gift idea.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Dave will no longer do book signings.

Wolf whistle for Tamara.

Dave may need to start hiring Blackwater security guards, or perhaps the Hell's Angels, to protect him from his lust-crazed fans.

Tamara gave Dave a boner...

Well, sort of.

Way to go, TRWC!

"It's a breakfest treat!"

"It's a marital aid!"

It's Super Oosik!!!!

umm... breakfast... whatever...

Whoa, TRWC is revealed as a major babe!

And she clearly knows how to nervously clutch an edible oosik!

Never wanted to be an oosik so much in all my life!

Hey Dave (if you're still listening) besides this, whats the oddest thing a crazed fan ever gave you or asked you to sign?

insomniac - It Goes Snap, Crackle, Pop!

I think I know the answer to that, CoastRaven... or maybe I'm just guessing, but if PollyPI shows her face around here, ask her what she got Dave to sign at the Peter and The Starcatchers book signing

TRWC - Way to go hun. That was a brilliant gift idea!

Coast Raven - Last year PollyPi got Dave to sign a giant femur bone from her bone collection. I am sure that must be high on the list.

I can't wait until Dave comes here in April. I have MONTHS to plan his suprise.

Tamara -- That wasn't you? Wow -- that means there were two babes there, at least. Such is the attraction of The Blue Shirt. Sorry I didn't tell ya I was attending. I only learned of the event yesterday, so I barely had time to warn myself . BTW, I love how you made the oosik inheritable. Let's hope it brings joy to many before it hurts itself going after boulders, as so many oosiks do.
U.O -- You've taught me so much. I've tried it your way and the chafing is already healing. It's true what they say. Life really is better when you're not peeing your pants.

Ooops Sorry Kaf didn't see you beat me to it

It will be pretty tricky getting him to sign a microbe, dear. Maybe you can get him to sign a plush HIV virus doll.

Time to start collecting these photos for our "Blog Babes" Calendar 2007.

Mike Dear I plan to have him sign your Assmann

Femurs would sure be a hard oddity to top! We all have one sure, but not so many of us have one ready to whip out available for signing when there is a World-Famous-Pulitzer-Prize-Winning-Oober-Funny-Oosik-Owning-Rock-Star-Humor-Columnist in the area.

Tamara,
You definetly have a Sarah Silverman thing going on and that is a great thing in my book

Coast.. I don't think it was human.. if memory serves me, it came from a horse. So a human femur.. probably slightly more hmmmmm.. let's see ... how do you say freaky without saying freaky?? .... unique!

Thanks again for the compliments, bloglits. Perhaps I should always have my photo taken with the CrapCam!

Eventually I'll write up a summary with pics for my own records, and I'll share the link here when I do, because, quite frankly, I like the attention. But in case I don't get to that summary for weeks and weeks, here's a shorter version:

1. This signing featured a cash bar. Hello!

2. The Blog's brother, Phil Barry, was in the audience!

3. Mike Luckovich, endearingly spastic Atlantan cartoonist, introduced Dave.

4. I'd never seen Dave in person before. His talk was completely excellent. Absolutely a pro.

5. Even when I knew what he was going to say, his presentation made it funny all over again.

6. I could not believe there were people who hadn't heard the Weinermobile story.

6b. I could not believe I got to hear it in person!

7. There is no number seven.

8. I did have a question for Dave's Q & A, but I didn't ask it; I wasn't sure my voice would participate.

8b. I also wasn't sure if my question was original.

8c. No, Blue Meanie, it wasn't your question. ;)

9. After the Q & A, I considered heading straight home, as I felt satisfied with simply having seen and heard Dave.

9b. And Dave was so suave at the podium, my rice krispie treat oosik began to feel almost out of place.

9c. But the oosik made me stay.

9d. My indecision cost me a good spot in line.

10. I was in just the right spot to get a photo of Dave hugging his brother good-bye, but then I thought, "What am I--the frickin' paparazzi?" So no family photo.

11. As we neared Dave's table, I and the woman behind me in line were both ready to faint from excitement. Turned out neither of us had been able to sleep the night before.

12. It was my turn. Dave shook my hand. I said, "Hi, Dave. I'm Tamara, from the blog." He stood up. He said, "You get a hug!"

13. I GOT A HUG!

14. I wonder what the woman behind me thought of THIS!

15. I presented my oosik, Dave posed for my camera, I posed for Dave's camera, and Dave signed my book.

16. I couldn't believe my voice worked enough to say, "Thank you sooo much, Dave," before I left.

17. Then I didn't want to leave. :)

18. An extremely nice man is our gracious leader. Good guy. Everyone walked out of the building smiling last night. Except maybe some of the really uptight Margaret Mitchell House volunteer workers; they were odd in a way that is more "librarian" than "bloglit" or "booger-fan".

19. Turns out I can do some really stupid Happy Dances in the privacy of my home and office.

And, finally:

20. Punky suggested a Rice Krispie booger in lieu of an oosik, when I wasn't sure if Rice Krispie Treat Oosiks were funny. Someone else should try this.

More finally:

21. Thanks again and again, Dave!

Oh, don't you worry Tamara. The Rice Krispie Treat ossik is a scream. :)

"oosik" crap!

OK - in the last 24 (hours not episode) we have discovered that Tamera is
1)HOT
2)Good with her hands
3)Creative
4)Wickedly Funny (we knew that though)
5)Wickedly Hot
6)Good with Rice Krispies
7)a Red Head (who happens to be hot)
I'll be the guy with the ponytail outside her window with the sign reading "No really dont call the cops...I'm not a stalker"

I'll say it again: WTG, Tamara! You're awesome! And I'm so very jealous. ;-)

Don't you think Dave's man boob's are explodding with delight?

Maybe they're just cold!

Tamara - you have raised the bar, or perhaps, raised the oosik, for creative DB gift-giving, and also for looking stylin' in the process. The Left Coast accepts your challenge. Now excuse me while I get back to my beautification process and searching Ventura County for oosik-worthy knick-knacks.

Tamara -- That was really Dave's brother? I honestly thought he was a stranger in the audience because 1.) he seemed surprised to be told he was Dave's brother and 2.) not a lot of hair pouf. I missed the cash bar but that didn't stop me from seeing Luckovich as a tall elf. Thanks to them both for a stupid grin that remains today.

Every - I kept thinking of Luckovich as a skinny Michael Keaton.

And, yes, that was really Phil. Confirmed by the hug. :)

PS I think Dave is frozen in time. He could still pass for thirty, easily.*

*This is probably thanks to Jack Bauer.

Tamara -- You're exactly right on the frozen in time thing. Not even any gray nose hairs, and I looked. Come to think of it, you're right on the money with Michael Keaton, too, though I'm gonna have a tough time saying goodby to the elf image. So what was your unlaunched question? I had one ready, which would have been "What is this money you keep mentioning. Am I going to need some to get the book?" Forunately there were plenty of better questions waiting. Also, when they handed you the little post-it note for Dave to, in theory, transcribe into your book, were you all at all tempted to write something like "My pants are aflame!" or "I'm so damned drunk! or whatever -- so that you could have the line of your choosing followed by the Dave signature? It crossed my mind, I'm ashamed to say. I promise this is my last post on this thread, but what was your question for Dave? Something oosik related?

oooh - post-it notes....I'm gonna have to think of a good one for April in LA.

TRWC -

I know only too well of which you speak, regarding the photo op and ... what? Nervousness?

I'm (theoretically) Mr. Hotshot Pro Photographer ... always ready to "capture the moment" ...

When I met Dave, I had my camera hanging around my neck ... when we went our separate ways ... there it was ... still unused ...

And ...

I din't even think to have him sign my special T-shirt ... (my excuse for that lapse is that I've never really been much of an autograph-seeking type person ...)

and, again ...

everysandwich ... as I said ... just trineta help ... glad I could be of assistance in your moment of need ...

Hehe Annie-where. We might be on to something here. A bloglit code. If Dave sees a post-it with "my pants are aflame!" or something better, he'll know he's in the presence of a bloglit. U.O. I know what you mean about not seizing the photo op. Never occurred to me to have my mug pose with Dave. I did, however get a shot of him looking as if he smelled something. If links work in comments, it's here. I love "a budding writer" next to him.

Annie-WBH - Where in Ventura county is "here"? I used to live in Port Hueneme (did I spell that right, it's been a while), and worked in lovely Camarillo.

Perhaps, for Dave's next stop, someone could knit a protective thong for the krispie-oosik. Wouldn't want it to get all crumbly in transit.

Because, face it, when a man's oosik starts getting crumbly ... well ...

I am NOT jealous. nope. nah. no envy here. **makes plan to actually get to hear/see dave someday. ** gives up on idea of ever looking half as pretty as tamara rhymes with rice krispies.

sthnbelle - I live in Moorpark, east end of Ventura County. I know Port Hueneme and Camarillo. They both say "hello." Did I mention I'm looking forward to seeing Dave in LA in April? Hopefully not all the good post-it blog-lines will be taken.

Clearly, the next person from the blog who meets Dave has to give him a Pittsburgh Pirates cup full of doo-doo. Or maybe chocolate would be funny.

MOTW, I forgot to say: Thanks for the Quality Prayers! :)

Every, my question was regarding the last line of page 45 of Money Secrets, and how it pertains to getting a job at the Herald.

Azred, no need to feel jealous of me; I think the CrapCam lies, and, anyway, I'm crazy in the head. Smiggidy!

Brad -- brilliant! With the chocolate I mean, and possibly a niblet or two.
Tamara -- are you saying crazy in the head is a bad thing?
Cheryl -- crumbly oosik...please, I beg you, speak not of such horror again. Oh, no....the turtling...

Tamara -- nice home run you hit there, but dang it, you said you were bringing Grizzly Bear (Ursus Horribilus) defecatory residue gathered from a nearby Quaking Aspen (Poplus Tremuloides) grove! I thought Rita's would be tough to top; yours is downright impossible.

Thanks anyway for the suggestion, U.O., but I hereby give up the idea of even trying to enter this competition -- I'm just gonna bring Dave a sixer of a local microbrew. Maybe with a Pittsburgh Pirates cup to drink from, if only to keep things "increasingly disturbing" for Dave.

PS: Two uses of a proper noun in the same sentence courtesy of the Department of Redundancy Department.

hey tamara, i'm the grammaw who was in line behind you, i just found this part of the Blog, wow i love it. it was so funny and i enjoyed it when we both said, "I didn't sleep last night, just kept thinking about meeting DAVEBARRY!" then the next morning checked the Blog and found the write-up about you -- WAY COOL! What a great experience it was, totally memorable. Loved your report about it. Also I agree about Mike looking like Michael Keaton, I was thinking the same thing! I'm glad the oosik made you stay, it was so fun to meet you too.

Psst, anybody still here? Marina sent me a copy of the photo she took with her camera, which is better than mine and Dave's put together: Lookie!

Thanks, Marina!!

TamaraRWC - Wow, you look even better in this shot! Congrats! And Dave is laughing!

WOWSER!!!!!

Whatta Doll!

I'm in LUUUUUUUUVVVVV!!!

I like Redheads 'cuz they have a long history in my family lineage ... both sides from my parents, and also from the Irish side of My Bride (Remember Her?) ... I gotta bookmark that one! (Just kidding, Tamara RWC ... but not much ...)

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