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January 30, 2006

ATTENTION, AUSTRALIANS

Be advised that you are on snake alert. Keep your eyes open when out in the paddock. Also, Reptile Rescue Tasmania recommends that you carry at least two bandages and a mobile phone. We will have updates on this story as soon as we figure out what the hell a "paddock" is.

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Keep your kit upside down. The snakes down under crawl on their backs on not on their bellies.

Dave - a "paddock" is like a "buttock" - but with padding

OH. Bush walking Nevermind.

Key quote: "someone's going to come for you sooner or later."

Probably just in time to pull your bloated corpse out of the brush.

I'm pretty sure a good alternative to snake running around would be to let some alligators loose in the area. I mean, as long as a person is carrying two bandages it shouldn't be much of a problem in case both happen upon you at the same time.

wow. there really WAS some advantage to reading all those horse stories when i was growing up.

OK - so according to the story, be on the lookout for a snake - if you see one put on a bandage, sit down and use your mobile phone - DO NOT walk out right after Bush "Walking" (which is illegal in some states here in the US). Ummm - nowhere in the article does it actually say that a snake is going to bite you.

"...snakes are on the move...."
(earwig alert)
Slithering, slithering, slithering...
When the heat is withering...
And Snake Rescue's blithering...
Snake skiiiinnn...
Through outback, bush and paddock,
Hotter than haddock,
Soon we'll be chomping on your shin
Your bandage won't protect you
Cause we
don't
respect you
Even with your cellphone at your chin

Head'em up, move'em out, head'em up, move'em out...

I'm wearing two bandages right now, just to be safe.

Dave,

A paddock is a kind of fish commonly found in temperate to unpleasantly sticky jungle themed clubs. Best enjoyed with a red wine fewer than six weeks old, a snake, two bandages, a cell phone, and Carrot-Top.

Glad to help.

Mr. C, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Good preparation, Lab. Were you a Boy Scout?

*zips out to check bandage supply*

*is not impressed*
Down here in the land of 99,99999% humidity, there's snakes on the first landing of my building's stairs. They hide in the electric company's closet (where the fuses and other thingies are).

Key quote: "someone's going to come for you sooner or later."

Is this code talk for dead or alive?

That is it! I'm giving up bushwhacking for lent.

Well if the snakes dont get you down here they bluies will.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/01/30/1138590443494.html

A “Paddock” is Australian for pasture, or a place to keep your livestock, “Sheep” on your “Station”, (ranch). It helps to keep in mind that a lot of the Australian stations are the size of a moderate European nation so you can have paddocks the size of Road Island. Two bandages by the way are not to stop the bleeding for two snake bites, The first one is applied over the bite mark to apply pressure to the bite area while the second one is wound around it to keep the pressure applied while you wait for the Royal Flying Doctors, (The mobile phone.)

Thanks for the info, Frederick. In other words, one of the bandages is used as a tourniquet, right?

someone's going to come for you sooner or later ...

Yeah, Mr. C ... it's the "later" part that worries me ...

Frederick, we New Englanders spell it "Rhode" Island. We named the state after a chicken.

Hey they breed 'em tough here! Snakes won't get in the way of our watching the tennis on telly.

Those of us from the southern hemisphere have got MUCH bigger paddocks than you Americans.

To be fair, though, most Americans have got much bigger southern hemispheres than other people ;-)

judi - I don't suppose you collected those plastic Breyer horses, too, did you? Come on, now, fess up. I'll bet you even painted their little hooves with nail polish.

... um ... Blessed St. Judi ... um ... horses? ... um ... nevermind ...

Dave, Judi:

Am I the only ALERT READER who has put 2+2+2 together?!

FIRST it was the Tokyo snake befriending the hamster; THEN Delhi's marauding monkeys became a security threat; NOW the Australian snakes are "on the move." I've said it before .............the animals are UP TO SOMETHING as we just blithely blog away.

The "Royal Flying Doctors?"

judi-that was my first thought too. And no, I didn't have "Breyer" horses, of course not! Mine were "Grand Champions"!

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