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January 20, 2006

ATTENTION ALL UNITS

We have a female suspected of DWS. (Driving With Snake.)

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Clearly the snake is at fault. Commandeering humans to commandeer vehicles for it. There needs to be an investigation.

So...were she and her 'friend' with the driver when he stole the truck, which paints an interesting picture; or was he driving a stolen ve-hickle already when he stopped by the house to pick them up for their trip to the ?mall;? or were she and her snake hitchhiking...???
So many questions...

...and then there's the whole snake thing...

i'm thinking the suspect bailed as soon as he found out his passenger had a snake. she's a hero!

I've heard or wearing a boa, but usually it has feathers.

mathmom ...

My eyes are still blurry from the overtime plane this a.m. and just putting my contacts in ... when I first read your post, I thot it said "wearing a bra ..." and I wuz wonderin' whut that hadda do with ... um ... snakes & such ...

My Bad ...

Your good ... I like the allusion ... now that I can read it ...

Crossgirl...so your theory is she was Carrying a Concealed Snake? I kinda like that idea; naughty thoughts aside (*preemptive attempt to steer blog away from temptation*), I like the idea of an innocuous shopping bag: "Just put yer sack right there on the floor, l'il lady; and we'll be on our......eeeeeeeeeYOW!!!!! *screech/slam/sound of rapidly receding footsteps*

UO--

And I LOVE the image of a feathered bra--wonder if Victoria's Secret carries those?

And they allowed the snake to leave?!?

Apparently, they haven't been reading this blog, and they have no idea that the snakes are supporting the squirrels in their bid to take over the world.

The woman probably couldn't say it, but she was most likely being held hostage by the snake. That's why the squirrels have invited the snakes to join up. They're sneaky.

See, you have to know in advance what you will do when you encounter a snake. For example, no matter what the circumstances, if I become face to face with a snake, it will not be "just resting" with "beautiful slimage" I will make it a "late snake", I will cause it to "cease to be", it will be "no more", it will be an "ex-snake". Afterward, I will cover it with cement, paint it white, stuff it with Rice Krispies, whack it over a boulder, and try to get people to eat it. Especially Peter ASS-Man.

Shredder...No, no...: you stuff the snake with Rice Krispies BEFORE you cover it with cement. I've tried it the other way, and it's unnecessarily complicated.

...and serve it with a jackhammer, on a bed of arugula.

Good tip, MS. As long as it winds up resembling a valuable (cracks from boulder, you know) oosik, I'm satisifed. If you have penis bone, wouldn't you be perpetually erect? How do Walri/Walruses go to the chalkboard?

Good quote: Kimball said he was glad the sheriff's office didn't have to figure out what to do with the snake.

I'll bet if they had searched the snake, they would have found he was carrying a concealed (congealed?) driver.

The real question is, where was she going, and was the snake drunk at the time?

"Okay officer, if you're so smart you get him stay in his seatbelt.

"Are you saying you didn't know the men who picked you up were driving a stolen truck?"

"I have always relied on the kindness of strangers, ... and my 4-foot boa."

Thank goodness she wore her boa, or who knows what would have happened.

Well, that was the most pointless story I've ever read.... I find it hilarious how the press somehow finds the fact that she had a pet snake more interesting than the fact that a vehicle was stolen. No mention even of who stole it, or what the circomstances were... Would this article even have existed if the pet had been, say, a Pomeranian?

As an official Snake Person, do I get to feel discriminated against with articles like this? Can I use it as a handicap or something? How about "affirmative action for Snake People?"

Obviously the snake masterminded the whole thing, and now they've let it escape! Will this reign of terror and pickup truck theft never end?

Goodness, Gracious!

Snakes alive!!!

... nah ... I got nothin' ...

OH!

Feathered Bra ... could we say that this might tickle her fancies?

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