ALL WE CAN SAY IS...
...it's a good thing William Shatner doesn't have hemorrhoids.
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January 18, 2006
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25,000 limey bucks for a kidney stone. I'd only pay that if it had a picture of the virgin Mary on it...
Posted by: philintexas | January 18, 2006 at 12:30 PM
But I hear he is saving his sweat and urine for two new perfumes called (of all things) Kirk and Hooker.
Posted by: Brad | January 18, 2006 at 12:31 PM
"I've just GOT to GET one of THOSE."
Posted by: Brainy Jello | January 18, 2006 at 12:32 PM
To boldly sell what no man has sold before...
Posted by: Atticusser | January 18, 2006 at 12:34 PM
Are we kidding? If this is allowed to happen there's no end in sight. They'll be paying $50,000 for Steven Seagal's toenail clippings next.
Posted by: Kilmeny | January 18, 2006 at 12:35 PM
Steven Seagal's toenail clippings aren't worth more than $40,000, tops.
Posted by: VictoriaE77 | January 18, 2006 at 12:36 PM
Yes, but they're SPIRITUALLY ENLIGHTENED toenail clippings.
Posted by: Kilmeny | January 18, 2006 at 12:39 PM
"To boldly go where one man could not before."
I sent this in, and yes, I'm sure I'm one of a million that did. Shatner lives out here. The next time I see him in the local eatery, I'll suggest he try the cranberry juice.
btw - the money went to habitat for humanity...to build a house from 'stones.'
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 18, 2006 at 12:39 PM
As I said in an earlier thread, if I'd known they'd be so valuable, I'd have saved my own!
Posted by: Spiny Norman | January 18, 2006 at 12:40 PM
I believe Dave has been holding onto his own toenail clippings over the years as he waits for the time to be, er, ripe for a major killing. Dave - that time would appear to be now.
And, not that I care to do any investigating, personally, but do we KNOW that Shatner hasn't got hemorrhoids?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | January 18, 2006 at 12:40 PM
He could probably make a killing on eBay.
And if Shatner does have hemorroids, he hasn't gotten around to selling them.
Yet.
Posted by: VictoriaE77 | January 18, 2006 at 12:42 PM
He can't sell them - they're the only acting tool he has.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 18, 2006 at 01:01 PM
SHATNER KIDNEY STONE anagram =
EN. SEEK NOT TINY SHARD
(Is it legal to use an abbreviation for English?? If not, I withdraw my submission)
Posted by: CoastRaven | January 18, 2006 at 01:02 PM
B.M. And, not that I care to do any investigating, personally, but do we KNOW that Shatner hasn't got hemorrhoids?
I think Dave's got a FEELING about it.
Posted by: MOTW | January 18, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Kirk: Bones, what do you think I could get for these kidney stones?
McCoy: I'm a doctor, not an auctioneer!
Kirk: Mr. Spock?
Spock: Fascinating. I would say that your chances for financial success would be greatly increased if you were to place hemorrhoids up for auction instead of your kidney stones.
Kirk: Scotty, I want full power in the operating theater, now.
Scotty: I can't, Captain. I'm dead.
Kirk: Scotty - I don't care what it takes! I need this ship's operating theater ready now!
McCoy: He's dead, Jim!
Lt. Uhura: Captain, urgent message from Starfleet Command.
Kirk: Patch me in, Lieutenant. [Pause, beeps]. Kirk here.
Starfleet Command: Captain Kirk. What is the status of your charitable mission?
Kirk: I am initiating emergency operating procedures, but have encountered difficulties in that the ship's Engineer is dead.
Starfleet Command: Check him for hemorrhoids.
Kirk: Roger.
Roger: Sir?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | January 18, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian.
Posted by: Bones McCoy | January 18, 2006 at 01:20 PM
Blue-M, that needed some kind of Snork Alert, defcon III ! ROTFL!
Posted by: MOTW | January 18, 2006 at 01:21 PM
If Kirk DID have hemorrhoids, wouldnt it hurt to have Shat(ner) this morning?
Posted by: CoastRaven | January 18, 2006 at 01:22 PM
Bravo Blue Meanie!
Posted by: Atticusser | January 18, 2006 at 01:23 PM
MAD magazine decades ago had an article wherein you could buy 'Leonard Nimoy's pointy earwax'...
If Bill Shatner went under the blade
Did he think that there's cash to be made?
Would he try to fool us?
His renal calculus
is yours when the asking price's paid!
Posted by: insomniac | January 18, 2006 at 01:29 PM
If Leetie and I hold him down tonight and shave him bald, we can get Dave Barry's hair and Ann Curry's spit in one swoop!!!!!!!!
that's got to be worth a small fortune.
Posted by: DC Susan | January 18, 2006 at 01:34 PM
They took the stone out with STRING? That's made me so uncomfortable that I can't even think!!
That's a funny article
Posted by: Jeremy | January 18, 2006 at 01:46 PM
I personally would like to know more about the painful procedure involving a string. Errr... Then again, maybe not. Yechhh!
Posted by: PeeJay | January 18, 2006 at 01:46 PM
hi PeeJay - it's been a while!
Posted by: MOTW | January 18, 2006 at 02:04 PM
Excellent BlueM! You even resisted the temptation to include something about Uranus and Klingons. (Which I see I didn't manage to do.)
Posted by: pogo | January 18, 2006 at 02:13 PM
Hi MOTW: I've been hit and miss lateley. Mostly miss, but some hit. I've been undercover using the alias "Lance Manion" Question to the blog, Whose alias is this?
Posted by: PeeJay | January 18, 2006 at 02:17 PM
Blue M. you are a genious. shatner, well... i think he knows what a big shtuss people will make... sooooo, why not have $$ for charity... WHO BOUGHT IT! that's what concerns me. eww
Posted by: queensbee | January 18, 2006 at 03:01 PM
Queensbee, have you ever been to a Trek convention?
Believe, there are people who would by bellybutton lint from William Shatner.
Posted by: ncc1701 | January 18, 2006 at 03:08 PM
What will the American consumer purchase next? At least we aren't purchasing mammalian penil bones yet. And then adding decorations and turning these appendages into weinies who will be mocked at soccer games by giving them feminine names.
Hmm.. what are the rest of the threads about....
Posted by: Somewhere North | January 18, 2006 at 03:24 PM
I, personally, have a large collection of celebrity toe lint.
Although I didn't pay for any of it. It was all acquired through stalking.
Posted by: VictoriaE77 | January 18, 2006 at 03:24 PM
Walrus' are mammals right?
Posted by: Somewhere North | January 18, 2006 at 03:24 PM
"Denny Crane."
Posted by: Mr. Completely | January 18, 2006 at 03:25 PM
S'North - Yes. They bear live young, have hair (or fur) and give milk.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | January 18, 2006 at 03:26 PM
I'd have paid $25,000 to have avoided the pleasure of a really nasty kidney stone when 7+ months pregnant. Don't think I'd be interested in anyone else's though even if Habitat is a fine charity.
btw ain't nobody gets sympathy like a hugely pregnant woman trying to pass a kidney stone
Posted by: Mrs. Wheezer | January 18, 2006 at 04:01 PM
Somehow, taking money from a casino and giving it to Habitat for Humanity seems like a good idea.
Posted by: chancev | January 18, 2006 at 04:25 PM
GoldenPalace.com could have probably gotten a better deal on Priceline.com - I bet all the trekkies are having a good laugh about that...
Posted by: gjcjax | January 18, 2006 at 05:10 PM
has anyone else noticed the site advertized on that page...
http://www.pherotones.com/
this is blog material people...
It's one of those sites you hope is satire...
Posted by: Joben | January 18, 2006 at 08:02 PM
Joben, They actually work very well. Did you see the guinea pigs getting it on on the "How Pherotones Work" page? Guinea pigs are usually very shy about having sex in front of a camera. They must have played complementary male and female pherotones to get that picture. Pretty amazing science if you ask me.
Posted by: Brad | January 18, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Since no one cares, or it was to of an obscure reference for anyone to get. (probably the former) Lance manion was Sam Malone (as in "Cheers") alias when checking into hotels. I'm very disappointed that there (not their) were no attempts to answer the blog quiz. Shame on you all.
Posted by: Alex Trebek | January 18, 2006 at 09:25 PM
CoastRaven --
"EN" is a word ... worry not ... (it's a term used in the printing trade, as in "en dash" ... referring to size or amount of space required ... which ... when you think about it, could be used in other places on this blog ...) (also ... it ["en dash"] ... is smaller than an "em dash" ... just sayin' ...)
as to the reference to hemorrhoids ... medical statistics indicate that 86 percent of all males have 'em ... and the other 14 percent are liars ... or ... wait, mebbe that's ... um ... masturbation? ... whatever ...
Posted by: U.O | January 18, 2006 at 09:41 PM
Leonard Nimoy's, maybe. But not William Shatner's.
Posted by: Bumble | January 19, 2006 at 09:29 AM
William Shatner deserves one of Pedro Fleming's rectal thermometers for his emission,Imean,admission to e-bay.
Posted by: michael marr | January 19, 2006 at 03:35 PM
Brad, yeh and did you see the flash animation next to the (i thought they were woodchucks) humping?
When you play pherotones to a woman makes her boobs and crotch send out radar signals...at least i think thats what it's showing...whatever it is i'm sure it's very scientific...and i know i need to buy some pherotones right now...
Posted by: Joben | January 19, 2006 at 09:12 PM
Is no one going to point out that "William Shatner's Kidney Stone" WBAGNFARB?
Posted by: AlanBoss | January 19, 2006 at 11:46 PM
Yeh i would but i hadn't thought of it cause im still hung up on the 'pherotones'
and regarding that
Dr. Vanderhood and her Intimacy Experts*
...WBAGNFARB
*yes the site actualy uses that term
Posted by: Joben | January 20, 2006 at 12:07 AM
The Pherotones website is fake. A viral marketing stunt by the ag agency McKinney Silver. More information can be found at
http://www.adrants.com/2006/01/mckinney-silver-behind-pherotones-viral.php
Posted by: violin111000 | January 21, 2006 at 09:07 PM