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January 20, 2006

A SLOW NEWS DAY IN COLLINSVILLE?

We report; you decide.

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Does this outbreak of toilet seat thefts have anything to do with the dire warning issued yesterday by Osama Bib Laden?

*Cue dramatic chord and flashy patriotic motif*

Decision 2006: S-l-o-w

*Cut to Charmin commercial*

"On assignment" ... ?

WTD?

When I grew up, the polite term was "doing your duty" ... just sayin' ...

Key quote: "anyone brave enough to use it"...nuff said.

"If alcohol is being served, that doubles the use." It probably doubles the smell, too. Ew.

"Toilets on Assignment" -- coming soon to Fox. Undercover plumbing drama. Rated PG-10yoBoys

OK, it was there for weeks or months. Was it ever cleaned? What has the weather been like in Collinsville? A good investigative reporter would have found out for me. I'm left wanting more! They never ask the hard questions anymore.

Prodigal Potty - that's a good name for something, I'm sure. U.O.?

'One rent-a-toidie can accommodate "a good 15 people" for 40 hours, Schaffer said.' You mean all fifteen have to stay in there for 40 hours? Eww.

Coming Soon: Celebrity Portapotty squatters. On assignment in Collinsville...

Key quote: The toilet removal left a car with four flat tires the only object claiming squatter's rights

Oh these journalists and their wacky puns.

I guess someone thought the parking lot was the town 'dump'...

(I hope that abandoned car doesn't get used for the same purpose.)

I'm pretty sure we need to move this porta potty to Washington and put it in Congress where the real crap is!!!

What is it with all the toilet humor today? This blog is going to pot!

I think the potty slashed the tires because it thought the car was stalking. Once immobolized the potty made a run for it.

When World War III starts, I shall take my family and valuables and seek shelter in my portapotty.

"Bad news, Jeff. Someone stole our tryst spot."

"Well, we can always use that abandoned car."

"That's just sick."

Q: How many can fit into a Porta Potty?

A: 15 for 40 mins. Then they all pass out.

Good God Helen! That's no Portapotty! That's Assmann's mobile research facility!

I'm with MOTW...

"Under normal use, one rent-a-toidie can accommodate "a good 15 people" for 40 hours, Schaffer said,"

???????

it can only accommodate 3 bad people.

JU

fewer if there's a Mexican place nearby...

Is Collinsville anywhere near Woods Hole?

...or Jackson Hole?

Did anyone else reading this think "Why did they have to flatten four tires on a car to remove the toilet?" Or am I the only one that slow around here?

Prodigal? Like, it left home to waste its inheritance? Overspent on foolish stuff?

More like "petrified" ... since it just sat there and din't move (HAR!) for a very long time ...

(Sorry so late with a response, MOTW ... hadda ackshully werk today ...)

Been to Collinsville. No surprise.

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