24

FINALLY the football game is over. I hope everybody has visited the bathroom and is ready for some ACTION.

UPDATE: WE DON'T WANT THE SUBWAY POSTGAME SHOW. WE WANT JACK.

UPDATE: What the hell has Jimmy Johnson done to his hair?

UPDATE: Here we go. I pity the West  Coast.

UPDATE: I hate the needle-to-the-heart part.

UPDATE: Jack is wearing a hard hat. They'll NEVER penetrate that disguise!

UPDATE: The bastards shot former acting acting president Allstate Insurance Spokesperson!

UPDATE: They're setting up a hard perimeter. That's always good.

UPDATE: WHOA! Chloe has a boyfriend! He's, like, 9, but still.

UPDATE: Frank's hot new girlfriend does not seem quite so hot now that we get a good look at her. But she is a major upgrade from Audrey.

UPDATE: The new girlfriend's surly teenage son looks alarmingly like Chloe.

UPDATE: Michelle is reminding Tony that they used to run scenarios. That is SO romantic.

UPDATE: They got Michelle! These people are dropping like flies.

UPDATE: Oral-B has a new toothbrush that looks genuinely scary.

UPDATE: Whoa. Edgar has not been skipping the Krispy Kremes.

UPDATE: NOW THEY'RE AFTER CHLOE. It's like they want to wipe out everybody who had anything to do with the last season! And who can blame them?

UPDATE: New Girlfriend (NGF) to Jack: "I can't thank you enough for all the work you've done around here." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: Jack wants Chloe to go dark.

UPDATE: Jack got out his Secret Agent Kit! He's baaaaaaccckk!

UPDATE: NOT AUDREY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

UPDATE: The first lady is not taking this well.

UPDATE: Jack has commenced hitting people.

UPDATE: Jack is taking the NGF's surly teenage son (STS) in the helicopter. It's a chance for them to bond.

UPDATE: The First Lady says she is, quote, "not making this up."

UPDATE: Edgar is the size of a two-car garage.

UPDATE: They're not at speed! I hate it when people are after me and I'm not at speed.

UPDATE: Hey, Jack is stabbing now. Is that new? He was always more of a shooter.

UPDATE: Do NOT mess with Chloe.

UPDATE: The guy actually believed Jack wouldn't shoot him! Obviously he has never seen this show.

UPDATE: At this rate, by the end of the second hour there's going to be nobody left alive in Southern California.

UPDATE: Celebrity skating? Where will it end? Celebrity welding? Celebrity eye surgery?

UPDATE: Why are they showing the highlights of the first hour, which we JUST WATCHED??

UPDATE: Edgar ran it through a high-res filter. That's exactly how I would handle it.

UPDATE: Chloe's going to get Jack a schematic.

UPDATE: "Jack would never murder his friends."

UPDATE: Edgar is jealous.

UPDATE: President Manilow is SUCH a wienerhead.

UPDATE: They launch in less than an hour! (Who the hell are they?)

UPDATE: Jack's girlfriend is thinking she should have kept dating the plumber.

UPDATE: Chloe is reading the agents' transponders. She is some woman!

UPDATE: "Relax. He's really good at this."

UPDATE: Jack is booted up, and Chloe is uploading to him.

UPDATE: Jack is a smooth talker.

UPDATE: You rarely see that kind of cleavage on a first lady.

UPDATE: Edgar found out that Chloe's logged in remotely! With an external socket!

UPDATE: HEY! ASSASSINATED FORMER PRESIDENT ALLSTATE INSURANCE SPOKESPERSON IS ALIVE AND DOING COMMERCIALS!

UPDATE: I don't like the looks of the bald guy with the accent and the guns.

UPDATE: At some point, even the FBI is bound to notice all the unconscious agents lying around.

UPDATE: There's, like, dozens of agents after Jack. They have NO chance.

UPDATE: The girlfriend's on the 210 at the 10.

UPDATE: Chloe is a stand-up gal.

UPDATE: Jack really does care.

UPDATE: Somebody is messing with the first lady's mind, such as it is.

UPDATE: Edgar says there's chatter! They're sourcing it! The reliability's approaching 95 percent!

UPDATE: Eventually the bald guy is going to punch President Manilow out.

UPDATE: I see guys like that in the Miami Airport all the time.

UPDATE: You watch. The airlines will claim this is a weather delay.

UPDATE: OHMIGOD! THE WEASEL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT! HE'S IN ON IT!

UPDATE: Looks like there will be shooting tomorrow night.

OK, everybody take a handful of powerful sedatives and try to get some sleep. We'll recap tomorrow. You'll be on your own tomorrow night, but I think you have shown, in the comments section, that you are completely out of your minds up to the task.

Comments

[scat]

The retro Burger King seriously creeps me out.

[Jessica R.]

This looks like a BK commercial circa 1972.

[qetzal]

Is that Jack in the cape there? No wonder we didn't recognize him during the game.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Uh-oh, I need to do a Jack Bauer and fix the italics problem.

There.

:)

[Marie in Kourou]

Ooops. Sorry.

[ThePinkPanther]

Did Audrey lighten her hair? She actually looks halfway maybe kinda decent.

Yeah, Edgar is huge!

[Annie Where-but-here]

*will raise hand in 3 hours*

[slyeyes]

Shove.

[Stormy Dragon]

Sad news is that was that actually was Michael Jackson doing Thriller on the American Idol spot. ;>

[FleaBailey]

They're driving all the way to Ontario????!!!!

[Marie in Kourou]

TC.H beat me to it.

I can't wait for Dave to resume the episode!

[Jessica R.]

Turn off italics

[philintexas]

OK people get serious...15 minutes to go...we can break 500 posts...but you've got to want it! Sue me...I think red-headed mom is truly hot..hope my wife doesn't read this

[AlanBoss]

As I am on the west coast and it is only 6:51 here, the show won't staart for another hour. And since I have to be up at 4:00 AM to work tomorrow (Damn Golden Globes. Does anyone even care?!?!) I have to go to bed. But thanks to the Blog and the bloglitts, I feel like I have already seen the show!

[bizrey]

Chloe: "Hi!"

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I bet the bodies aren't at the refinery when they get there...Marwan was there already...oops, sorry, wrong season.

[Sam G.]

Edgar's going to make sure Chloe gets into a holding cell.

[sandy beach]

Poor Chloe is going to be stuck in that ugly sweater for the whole season!

[qetzal]

Oooh. Edgar gets to take Chloe into a "holding cell."

I bet he's excited.

[scat]

Whoa! Chloe in chains! Hot hot hot.

[Stormy Dragon]

Uh, Jack is talking about a life with red headed mom.

She's dead.

[Annie Where-but-here]

phil- please sit down, I can't see the show.

[Cheesewiz]

he really does care about the kid

[Bucket]

What a touching speech. Really. I am touched. Deeply. I like to think he got through to the kid too.

[scat]

Jack cares about Kid Cobain. The kid's toast.

[Sam G.]

I'm growing rather fond of First Lady Crazy.

[jlfintx]

You think this is a record. Wait till the rest of the LGF crowd finds out about this place!!

Sorry Dave!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Don't you think that someone...some intern in the administration...would fix President Weenie's lapel pins? He must dress himself.

[philintexas]

rat bastard Logan...he's gonna launch against Canada

[Jessica R.]

President Weenie just believes everything Bill Buchanan (BB) says.

[Cheesewiz]

the First Psycho is not having a good day

[Bizrey]

Land where? Ontario airport?!?!

[Sam G.]

Edgar's had to move about 20 feet this entire episode, but he seems more exhausted than Jack.

[jlfintx]

Also, the show has another ten minutes as it started late (here in Tejas at least)

[Stormy Dragon]

Apparently 'they' are 'launching' a UPS truck.

[qetzal]

Is that Blofeld?!!

[Bucket]

Oooh, Oooh, Ohhh... I know!!! TERRORISTS, RIGHT!?!?

[Jessica R.]

Who are the LGF crowd, jlfintx?

[Bizrey]

"I don't care how many people die! I want my photo op!"

[Sam G.]

What's with the oldish-type commercials?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Hmmm...I may have to paraphrase Harry Belafonte and say that President Weenie is the biggest terrorist on the planet. I mean, he's going to let the copter be shot down, knowing full well that it's been done before, back in season 2. He does know that, doesn't he?

[qetzal]

That's all Edgar ever does - chatter.

Well, that and eat.

[Joe Simmons (Slow Joe)]

Why was it racism to have bad guys of Middle Eastern descent last year yet it is ok to have bad guys of Russian descent this year?

[philintexas]

okay...enough of the late breakfast guy from Whataburger...that's three times already

[jlfintx]

Little Green Footballs Jessica R.

That is how I found out about this website. Don't mind us, just a bunch of redneck conservatives.

[Bizrey]

Edgar converts his pining for Chloe to doughnut consumption. Yah,been there big guy :-/

[qetzal]

th.c guy,

seems like at least one copter gets shot down every season. (Remember Marwan's copter last season?) Never realized it until you pointed it out tho.

[Sam G.]

There you go. Bones is on Wednesday.

[jlfintx]

Hey Mom is kind of hot!

[sandy beach]

Wow, mom is sooo stacked...

[Bizrey]

NGF is teh hotness. No really.

[philintexas]

time for Jack-Frank to unleash some serious Russian terrorist butt whupping

[Jessica R.]

That's cool jlfintx. we try to keep politics out of things around here. we make fun of EVERYONE.

[scat]

Novel way to break up.

[Bizrey]

Stand-by with that body count monitor...

[Bucket]

*Question*
Does Jack Bauer think that if he whispers all of the time "they" won't find him? Or was that an old CTU injust that hasn't fully healed?

[qetzal]

Please, please let President Weenie get shot.

[Sam G.]

Logan's gotta die.

[Annie Where-but-here]

His name was Edgar. He likes to chatter.
He's so huge and still getting fatter.

[qetzal]

Hmm. What can Brown do to you?

[Jessica R.]

Derek is toast.

[Sam G.]

Cool! Surly kid is gonna try to help Jack and probably get shot!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Kid Cobain...he's a hero! I've got to save the man who's not my dad!

[Bucket]

INJURY that is

[Bizrey]

Right. Here we go. Loved ones in danger in 5...4...3..2...

[Cheesewiz]

how can the plot be weaker than last season?

[sandy beach]

Luckily Jack doesn't know we don't do torture any more.

[Bizrey]

Paging John McClane...

[jlfintx]

Looks like a White Russian did it.

[Annie Where-but-here]

This show needs a prozac commercial like nobody's business.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Why does this feel like Die Hard? And Jack is Bruce Willis?

[philintexas]

First Lady's knocking back some little pink pills

[Annie Where-but-here]

What does Dave have against bald guys anyway?

[MrFisher]

Why is everyone so sweaty and greasy looking?

And will it cause unforseen "slippage" and more thigh damage?

[jlfintx]

So what is the count? Don't see any numbers.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

You just gotta love our elected official's lackeys...sheesh!

[Jessica R.]

Dave's gonna miss it, neener!

[Sam G.]

How will I live through tomorrow's episodes without Dave's updates?

[AlanBoss]

Bumble, "Bones" is being moved to Wednesdays (after Idol) and "House" (the best show on TV!) is down until February.

[homeybeef]

Is it just me or are Cobain Kid and Kim made for eachother?

[Marie in Kourou]

Is it over? What's the thigh count?

[moist]

The bad guys better get armor. Jack 's gonna shoot them in the leg!

[Bizrey]

I need a cigarette...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

*phew* Didn't know if I was gonna make it. My Red Bull was just wearing off.

G'night, everyone!

Dave: Can you have Judi post your episode wrap-up before tomorrow night's show, and we'll just post updates to it?

[philintexas]

Cobain kid's definitely gonna take a dirt nap tomorrow night

[FleaBailey]

Whew! That was incredible. I need a cigarette.

[Sam G.]

Everyone is in varying degrees of perpetual mortal danger on this show.

[qetzal]

Huh. That's odd.

The news here in ATL is not leading with a story on the Runaway Bride.

That's the most unrealistic thing I've seen tonite.

[scat]

Phew. Thanks Dave and all. I'm headed for a box of chocolates.

[jlfintx]

Thanks for the laughs. See you next week.

[Sam G.]

Yeah, Dave...do what tropichunt guy said.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oh, lookie, I still have some time before 24 starts. If I hurry down the road, I can watch the girlfriend driving on the 210.

[Jim Hoft]

Is anyone else wondering if they had a frickin warrant for the intel that they just ignored anyway? It sounded like they were doing random wire taps.

[Jessica R.]

jlfintx,
We're here all the time, but 24 is on again tomorrow.

[brian mcclure]

Dave,

Can you pre-write - uh - "put fuses on" some stock 24 criticism? Place these in Jud's magic 8 ball for posting in REAL TIME (8:00 Eastern, 7 pm on United )

[jlfintx]

Jessica R.

Really, it is on again tomorrow. I guess I was out to lunch on that. So, then I shall see you tomorrow.

Btw, can someone get me a Celtic Woman for Christmas next year?

Just askin..

[Steve-O]

I home Jack has his charger with him, which reminds me, I need to switch my service to Marwand's company, they're great!

[Jessica R.]

Goodnight all, My kidlets will be up bright and early.

[Bucket]

"perpetual mortal danger" WBAGNFARB

[CertifiedNerd]

Heh heh...thanks, my family and I were checking your updates during the show...definitely a nice supplement :P I don't know about you, though, but I'm pretty disappointed with the lack of thigh-shooting on Jack's part. Honestly, if we can't count on Jack Bauer to put lead into peoples' upper leg, what CAN we count on?