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December 21, 2005

WORRISOME

It is of some concern to the s.b. that the blog submissions we have received while the blog is away are ... let's just say, less high-brow than usual.

(Thanks to julieta)

Comments

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For decorating in your home, Judi?

just in time for my girl scout troop's monthly craft and cramp night!

Sigh... did they miss the hygiene part of that product? Do we display toothbrush ornaments? What about mouth wash displays? Used c*ndom crafts?

I've just given these earth types more ideas haven't I?

s n - yes you have - condom snowglobes!

The menorah was just too funny. When someone's being particularly b!tchy, my husband has been known to comment "Who lit the string on her tampon"

Menstrual joy? An oxymoron if ever I heard one.

I have a friend who keeps a tampon on top of his television inviting the inevitable question about why it is there. He likes telling the story about how it reminds him of the *&^% who took his VCR.

A menstrual angel? If there was a menstrual angel, she would bring me vast quantities of drugs and alcohol and make all men cater to my every whim during that "joyful time". She would not bring me tree ornaments.

does the menstrual angel have wings?

Somewhere North - I find that sharing quantities of drugs and alcohol with Mrs. TCK while she experiences that "joyful time" is a great help to me....

I'm not sure if it actually helps her, or if being stoned and drunk just helps me cope better with her "joy."

either way...

Hmm... I was thinking more along the lines of midol as the drug of choice but whatever gets you (both) through that special time.

TCK - whatever works, I say...:)

We wish you a merry Christmense, we wish you a merry Christmense ...

"snork" at insom and sean!

midol is for amatures

I think if the three wise men would have seen that star in the sky they would have went to the tavern instead of the manger..

Ok..Let's see...We have women who paint using menstrual discharge, paint with their boobs, have their hymens reattached, Sharon had her boobs shrunk..What am I forgetting..

What's her name wearing a fake penis?

oh, and lol at Sean!

"Every time a bell rings, and angel gets flushed down the toilet."

TCK - Trust me on this one. Midol works better than loritab.

Is it frightening that the wax hoff digusts me more? I think that the way you can still see hair even after you wax him is the worst part.

TCK ~ how 'bout some nachos? ;)

Tampon-crafts for cat owners: A former feline companion demonstrated for me the incredible attraction of a tampon as a cat-toy. To max out the kitty's pleasure, it should be an old-style tampon with a crinkly paper wrapper.
Phase I. "Hey..something crinkly that I can carry around, drop, and pounce on!"
Phase II: "Hey...I can get the skin off it, and it rolls around" shortly followed by...
Phase III: "OMG! It has a tail!!!" (followed by frenzied attack, which results in the 'shelling' of the soft white long-tailed critter, and triumphal parade through the house.
I've often considered that there might be money to be made by packaging these in bags of catnip, but I thought it was way too weird.

Damn. Another opportunity lost.

southerngirl - you know I can never say no to nachos

really? nah. besides, this isnt just snakes n squirrels.

NOT brought to you by the same people that invented these.

I can't believe no one's said it yet:

This is a gift that keeps on giving.

Betsy - be careful with that idea. If the cat sees a string 'tail' dangling ahem, somewhere, it could lead to a bizarre accident sure to make this blog.

Here's a (non-gross; just weird) story about a tampon.

My junior year of high school I was good friends with a (male) foreign exchange student. One night we were up in my room looking for some books and he found a tampon in my nightstand. He asked if he could unwrap it and look at it, and when he had done so, asked me how they worked. I made my thumb and forefinger into a circle and showed him. I pushed the applicator tubes together and the tampon plopped out on the bed. He picked it up by the string and exclaimed, "That is so cool! I wish I were a girl." Then he marched down the hall to the bathroom, tampon dangling from his hand by its string, filled the sink up with water, and floated the tampon to see how much it would expand. He pulled the dripping wad out of the sink, again remarked on how cool it was, and threw it away. A friend of mine said her boyfriend once asked her how a tampon worked, too. Are all guys that curious about it, or just those two?

Bumble, that is a very disturbing story. Not gross or weird, but disturbing.

Bumble - I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say: just those two

southerngirl~ Yeah, well. He was a disturbing guy, as I quickly discovered. He was overly fond of designing outfits for my old Barbie dolls and spending quality time with another guy at my school. Need I say more?

TCK~ All right then.

I just shouldn't tell anecdotes from my life on the blog, should I?

Bumble and TC...I'd give the guy the benefit of the doubt (except for that 'want to be a girl' thing). Remember that a tampon fits the definition of 'gadget', and naturally, therefore, must be taken apart immediately. And, although I'm sure I don't speak for all the ladies here, I do dimly recall from my younger collegiate years that I performed a number of highly scientific experiments with condoms, including the 'how far up one can you stick your arm' experiment, and the 'look...I could use one for a particularly uncomfortable sock' experiment. And the guys in the dorm once performed the 'look how big my roommate's name gets if you stamp it on a condom and then blow it up' experiment.
It's all just a healthy curiosity about the secret paraphernalia of a foreign cultures...

Betsy - I beg to differ

I've brokeen open a glowstick just to see what's inside

I've opened up both my vcr/dvd players to see if I could replace the broken vcr in one with the good vcr from the other, or vice versa

I pulled the water pump off an '84 cutlass just to see if I could put it back on

but I have never, never, had an urge to disassemble a tampon...

For those who are curious but not enough to do the experiments on their own, Cockeyed.com has scientifically measured the effectiveness of tampons.

They have also carefully determined how much ink is in an inkjet cartridge and how much gold is in goldschlager (a few of their many helpful experiments).

TCK - What IS inside a glowstick?

I may be stalking TCK, I seem to be behind him on each thread -
STOP IT, TCK!!!

El - inside a glowstick is a bunch of gooey, glowing stuff

Sallyacious - they've also calculated exactly how many beers there are in a keg

oh, and El - quit lookin' at my ass!

TCK...There, there...I didn't say it was universal. I was just trying to cut the guy a little slack. Note to world: TCK is not now, and has never been, a tampon-tamperer.
And I don't even want to think about glow-sticks in the same thread as tampons.

Betsy~ Don't sweat it. The guy didn't deserve any slack. Not because of his issues (and they were many) but because of the way he treated me. So A.P., if you're out there, (though I doubt you're cool enough to read this blog) I have this to say to you: :-P

thanx Betsy - I feel better now

In remember talking to talking with two male friends of mine at college, and I don't remember how, but the conversation got around to sanitary products. They started discussing the various sizes, and one of my friends (very seriously, although I thought he was kidding at the time) made the statement, "Well, I think a tampon has to be no bigger than a napkin, anyway". I started laughing because, as I said, I thought he was kidding. But he wasn't. Really opened my eyes as to how naive some men were concerning these things.

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