THAT'S WHY THEY CALL HIM THE MAN OF STEEL

Moviemakers may have to cover up Superman's lunchbox.

Comments

[U.O]

Camel toe?

[(_i_)]

Because God forbid women have something to look at.

[PirateBoy]

Banana sling?

[southerngirl]

*goes off to Google Brandon Routh*

Wait, that sounded kinda bad....

[TrillianAstra]

Look out for SUP-er-man!
More powerful than a locomotive, heh heh.

[mudstuffin]

Lunch box? LUNCH box? Ew.

[Shannon]

Well, this is a great debut for Brandon Routh, wouldn't you say? Dang.

[insomniac]

don't worry about Googling him, s-girl, he likes it Routh...

[Wurm42]

Excuse me? Isn't this the production that boasted over the summer that a costume designer spent a full month creating different molds for Superman's codpiece?

Sounds like the studio gave themselves too much of a good thing, if ya know what I mean.

[pinto]

They should have hired me for the part. Wouldn't have to worry about my lunch box being too big. It's a snack pack at best....

They would have to reduce my 30 pack of abs to a six-pack, though....

[Wurm42]

Really, Superman just can't win in this area. And the problems go way beyond creating a jock strap strong enough to contain a kryptionian, er, package.

See Larry Niven's Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex for a painfully well thought out (and funny) description of Superman's difficulties, in, um, you know.

[crossgirl]

size shouldn't matter as long as he's not faster than a speeding bullet.

[southerngirl]

*shakes head and sighs at Insom's Really Bad Pun*

LOL @ crossgirl!

[Ken]

I want this guy's press agent! Talk about "no such thing as bad publicity."

[Mr. Completely]

Apparently, he can leap tall buildings in a single bound by using a certain anatomical part to pole-vault over them.

I feel your pain, Supe baby.

And after all, how "super" can he be if he's only packin' a Vienna sausage? No credibility at all.

[Minsc and Boo]

Larry Niven MoS/WoK
great short story.

I just want to know why it was called a lunch box. Up until now I thought I knew all the euphimism's for it.

[Nannie]

Oh my.

[TCK]

We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.

OK, is anyone else worried that THEY have developed technology allowing THEM to "erase" a "package" with "digital effects"!?!

Read between the lines, people!! If this isn't a plot for world domination, then cheeze-its aren't really made from cheese, if you get my meaning.

Don't say you haven't been warned!!

[Nurse Tammy]

Oh dear. What a thing to read after working night shift. And "lunch box"? Eeeeeww! Note to self: must buy dinner at work for at least a week because giggling and snorking over dinner could be a bad idea.

[Bumble]

southerngirl/insom/Mr. C~ Thanks for giving me multiple *snorks* between finals. I needed that. :-)

[Dr. Doug]

He doesn't look that big. to me. But then the style today for the pubescent boys is big, shaggy/baggy pants that tend to blur any and all visual reference to gender!

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

They did the same thing to King Kong, you know.

[Scott]

No, his lunchbox is actually a small todger:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/08/superman_lacking/

Superman has small todger: official
No super powers in the trouser department
By Lester Haines

It's official: Superman may be able to leap a tall building with a single bound but he's completely lacking super powers in the trouser department.

That, at least, is according to those charged with costuming Brandon Routh who will play the Man of Steel in next year's Superman Returns. According to MSNBC, costume designer Louise Mingenbach says that of all the internet speculation surrounding Superman's costume, the vast majority focused on his trunks.

Explained the deliciously-surnamed Mingenbach: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round? It was somebody's job for about a month just working on codpiece shapes. It was crazy."

The mind boggles. Just how pointy does Superman's schlong have to be before Middle America reaches for its Bible and its assault rifle?

Sadly, we may never know, because Mingenbach's final verdict on our hero's wedding tackle is: "Not big. Ten-year-olds will be seeing this movie."

Readers will be able to judge for themselves just how deprived Lois Lane is when Superman Returns opens in June next year.

[Sarcasmo]

If you'll excuse me, I'll be at the courthouse having my name legally changed to Brandon Routh

[Frogstein]

I hope it's not too late to point out that Superman's Lunchbox WBAGNFARB...

[southerngirl]

*snork* @ Sarcasmo!

[Mr. Completely]

Tamara RWC - Good point. Now I'll never be able to watch any version of that movie again.

"King Kong's Package" W NOT BAGNFARB.

[Reigh]

Nice legs, even if they are blue. Better this than an Oompa Loompa, I always say.

[Eleanor]

test

[Candy Tutt]

"Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen."
I can certainly understand them not wanting it, UP. How about if it's in a quiescent state, you know, um, DOWN?

[Annie in Texas]

Yeah, ok, lunch box is full, his legs are extrodinary and his face is adequatly manly, but, hey, can he act?? That's the million dollar question. The lunch box is just, uh, icing on the cake.

[Mr. Completely]

Annie in Texas - Haven't you noticed? It doesn't matter if he can act or not. He's got a pretty face, good legs and is well-packaged. That's all the American public wants.

Talent is irrelevant anymore. Witness Britney, either of the Simpson chicks, Lindsay Lohan... the list goes on. And that's not counting the boys. Not a talented bone among them.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Superman Returns....His Codpiece"

Mr. C - yet again, nice use of 'talented bone.'

[Mr. Completely]

Annie W-B-H - If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... oh, wait, I bet you mean my previous post. Dang, I thought you were still watching that hidden webcam. My bad.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Mr. C - yes, you're VERY bad.

[Adjustah]

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It choked Lois Lane!"

[Estelle Chauvelin]

Who put Brodie from Mallrats in charge of the PR for this movie?