INTERNET PORN

Don't try to tell us it doesn't turn you on.

(Thanks to Mollenkamp)

Comments

[annie where-but-here]

I guess it gets its name from the sound it makes....

[annie where-but-here]

The name 'wombat' is too funny to be a sex symbol. It needs another name like 'conniving weasel' or 'Federline.' Ok, the SECOND one was a joke.

[russell]

"If the male was slow to mount, she would kick back aggressively and not let him roll her on her side again until she had run round in more circles and figures of eight. This happened seven times."

Ahh, college... good times...

[annie where-but-here]

...anybody else here, or am I the only one pathetic enough to read about nasty wombats? Hello???...
.........sigh......guess this is what life is like after the kids leave.

[TCK]

A complicated dance, a bite on the rump and ferocious backward kicks are all part of the wombat's lovemaking repertoire

They say that like its weird or something

[Jacki]

Just remember, per the link below the article: Sin is Not Fun.

Was anyone else intrigued/digusted by the fact that Madonna actually sits on public toilet seats?

[annie where-but-here]

Someone has to say it - "Wombat's Dangly Bits" WBAGNFARB.

[TCK]

OK Annie - I'll admit I read the whole article just so you don't have to be pathetic all alone...

[Mr. Completely]

A complicated dance, a bite on the rump and ferocious backward kicks... physically demanding process, complete with chasing, biting, grunting and loads of heavy breathing"... okay, who put the hidden webcam in the Completely bedroom?

[annie where-but-here]

I wasn't supposed to blab, but Southerngirl put it there.

[Mr. Completely]

Annie - That figures.

[annie where-but-here]

Wait 'til Mrs. Thepoint finds out what you've been up to with a wombat.

[Teri]

Perhaps Mr Marks' study will solve the sloth-like problems of others too...like, well, the sloth-like.

TGF
www.herestohappywomen.blogspot.com

[Annie Where-but-here]

Well, of course no one else is visiting this post. I just looked at the web address. Guess I'll be getting a visit from the IT police, maybe 2 visits once they realize it's wombat-related. It's been a pleasure chatting with you all. I'll write as soon as I know which cellblock I'm in...

[william cormeny]

Wombat has a site EHarmony. But, it's too violent and censors have decided not to allow it on regular TV.It can be shown on cable.

[monkeyshines]

AnnieWBH-I read it. Am just too tired to comment. All final projects were due today. Did my first Power Point presentation. With circles and arrows! The students stared at me as though I just committed a faux pas. Imagine trying to do a good job.

[Annie Where-but-here]

monkeyshines - poor kid! I deal with powerpoint a lot, putting together presentations. Getting stared down when you err is the worst. Presentations are like stand-up, only not as many people are drunk. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be funny, too.

[U.O]

Well, I, for one, think that the Wombat would be an excellent representative creature to symbolize male Australian virility ... after all, if you look at one ... the nose very much resembles a ... um ... nevermind ...

[Bumble]

Time to play Bumble's name that obscure quote.

"That ill-begot son of a wombat!"

and if more helps:

"'What's a wombat?' I asked, then immediately wished I hadn't. The mental image that sprang into my mind was so horrifying I was sure I didn't want details."

[southerngirl]

Hey! Why are you telling tales about me, Annie?

And Mr. C - That figures?!?!

[U.O]

sg -

Mr. C is obviously referring to the unnamed player in the famous "Who's on First" routine ...

The player with the name "That" is the scorekeeper ... hence ...

[southerngirl]

U.O., I guess it wasn't obvious to me. I thought he was mad at me, or something. You know, for the web cam thing. Which I did not do. Nobody saw me do it. Nobody can prove anything.

[U.O]

ssshhhhhh ... there, there ... calm down ... deep breathely ... It'll be all right ...

I know (not no) you didn't do it ...

Becuz, I know who dunnit!

(Who's on First, BTW ...)

[TCK]

well it wasn't me - I know what's under southerngirl's bed, cuz of imminent lightning strikes, and all (but I'm sworn to secrecy), but I have no idea what's under the bed of Mr. Completly Mrs. the Point...

[TCK]

tho I hear there may be a wombat under there...

[TCK]

but it could be worse - at least they're not keepin' a sasquatch under there

[TCK]

I AM NOT AN AUTOMATED ROBOT!!

[Mr. Completely]

Yeah, that's it, a wombat's under there. THAT explains all the grunting and other noises. Especially when a mongoose joins in.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[U.O]

Works for me ...

[Annie Where-but-here]

U.O. - The mongoose works for you?? Then what is it doing under Mr. C's bed? Never mind, I don't want to know. Just let us know when it's out on video.

[TCK]

I'll pass on the wombat/mongoose porn vid

I would, however, like to know what the mongoose does for U.O. - and how much he pays it to do whatever it does

[U.O]

YOU GUYS!

In a manner similar to the proper usage for pronouns and their antecedents, or with subject/verb agreement, my comment referred to the closest/most recent statement of the honorable Mr. C ...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That is the statement/concept/non-mammalian thingy to which my statement of agreement/endorsement referred.

But ewe gnu that ...

[U.O]

HOWever ... as long as we're on the subject of a mongoose ... I have a question.

What is the plural of mongoose?

Mongeese?

Mongooses?

Mongi?

(There's an old story about Sam Goldwyn, from which I'm borrowing this question.)

[TCK]

OK, that's what I'd say too, if I was to deny that an antecedant mongoose secretly worked for me, let alone several mongeese

(nice try on changing the subject tho)

[U.O]

Antacedent Mongeeses wbagnfa ... ? ... band

[U.O]

... and ... speakin' of changin' the subject ...

No one has yet answered my trivia question of a day or so ago ...

Here 'tis again, with a relevant (?) hint by including a bit more of the lyrics ... it's not really a duet, it's more of a ... fugue? Sorta ...

If you don't mind my sayin' so, you have a bad habit,
of changing every subject ...

No, I haven't changed the subject, I was talkin' about that stranger ...

What stranger?

With the suitcase ... who may be your very last chance!

Special kudos for first correct answer.
Bonus points for correct identification of the singers.

[TCK]

no idea on the trivia question or the singers...

but I think "Antacedent Mongoose" WBAGNFA Jazz Quartet

[Mr. Completely]

The Piano Lesson. Sung by Marian (Shirley Jones) and Mrs. Paroo (Pert Kelton), in The Music Man. Words and music by Meredith Wilson.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Does this mean that the mongoose is now unemployed?

[U.O]

Holy Sh!t you're good, Mr. C ... that's my favorite Broadway musical, prolly ... we produced it one year in a school where I taught ... I was so short of guys (it's a BIG cast of extras) that I even hadda cast moi ownself ... kinda stretching it a bit, when the director gets to "act" ... I had two lines:

Didja ever meet a fella by the name a' Hill?

and

Hill!

But the handlebar moustache sorta fit right in with the scenery for the 1912 setting ...

that was fun ...

Of course, that's the movie version ... (don't misinterpret or correct me, I know the other half of that answer too ...)

Would a baby mongoose be a mongosling? Mongozzle?

[Mr. Completely]

Monglet?

[Dux]

For a group project we called ourselves the Mongeese.
My school also did the Music Man a couple of years ago, and although I was just a stage hand, I learned pretty much all the words. 'Course, now I've forgotten them all, except for the part about
"...can't make a livin' sellin big trombones, mandolin picks perhaps, and here and there a jews harp-" "Nah, the fellow sells bands, kids bands! I don't know how he does it..." etc. (We had to change the words "boys bands" to "kids bands" to be PC.)
That was a great show. And Stage Crew won an(local) award for our work!

[what's on second?]

*surreptitiously removes web cam*

*offer's hot wombat/mongoose video on e-bay*

[southerngirl]

Boy, did I miss the fun last night. It's great to have a big laugh first thing in the morning. Although maybe I shouldn't be drinking coffee while reading this.

Oh, and btw... mongoose and wombats and sasquatch, oh my!

[Bumble]

No one knows my quote, eh? I can't believe none of you people read about Aahz and Skeeve.

southerngirl~ Yes, you told me to use the addy on the blog, and I think I did when I replied to your first e-mail; did you get it?

[golfwidow]

And that is the news for wombats. Stay tuned for news for parrots.

[U.O]

Too young for me, Bea ... I'm too busy listening to Vivaldi and reading Sartre ...

... or, is that the other way around?

[Bumble]

U.O~ The first Myth book (the one I quoted from; Another Fine Myth) was published in 1978. 6 years before I was born. Were it not for my sister, I'd be too young for them. :-)

[southerngirl]

Bumble ~ I got it! The e-mail, not the quote.

[Bumble in northern Indiana]

sg~ OK; just checking. I replied to the other one, too. :-)

[BLT]

LOVE The Music Man (got the quote, but Mr. C answered it first - this is what I get for reading the blog a day behind . . .). I still have practically the whole thing memorized from listening to the soundtrack over & over as a teenager.

Bumble - Love the Myth books, too. Must be time to re-read them, though, 'cause I couldn't place the quote. Have you read Asprin's more recent Phule's Company series? A slightly different kind of romp, but quite good!

[Bumble in northern Indiana]

BLT~ I've read the first three. The quote was from the very beginning of Another Fine Myth; when Aahz is trying to figure out why he can't dimension hop and he realizes Garkin took his powers, he calls him an "ill-begot son of a wombat."

[Bumble]

Stupid "remember personal info." I told it to change me back to Bumble twice. Apparently I must change it back and then comment for it to stick.

[BLT]

No comment?

Actually, Bumble-in-N-I, while this may be TMI, I was born in Bloomington - my dad was finishing his degree at I.U. at the time . . .

[Bumble]

BLT~ I'm at IUK. I was planning to transfer to IUB this fall, but I changed my mind after orientation. Go IU? That's about all the school spirit I'll ever muster. For any school. :-)

[Dux]

Bumble- I've also read the Myth books, but not recently. I've never been able to think of the word "pervert" the same way since I read them.
How are your finals going? (I only have two left!!)

[Bumble]

Dux- I think I've got all As or Bs so far. One more left; macroeconomics on Thursday. Good luck to you!

[U.O]

Dang!

Now you've piqued my interest ... I'll hafta look those up ... I s'pose I'll "discover" another writer/series that I'll devour ...

In 1976 I was teaching skul ... but I was coaching girls basketball, and ... directing The Music Man and prolly advising one of the classes, and farming and awaiting the birth of Daughter #2, who arrived about three days before Opening Night ... so I sorta missed those books, 'cuz I was busy ...

[southerngirl]

U.O....as long as you have an excuse.

[Bumble]

U.O~ The Myth Series by Robert Asprin. Started out awesome. Became good. Went on hiatus. Became crap (for one book) then got better (and gained a co-author; Jody Lynn Nye), but not as good as before. I have the newest book in the series on my shelf right now, but I haven't read it yet. The best books in the series are the first 8-10. The 11th (which was supposed to be a prequel inserted into the middle of the first 8-10) was awful. The two that followed it, OK. The last one I have yet to read, as I said. Hard core Myth fans are still going to buy the books whether they're good or not because the first ones were soooo good, but the series isn't what it used to be, which was a witty riot.

[U.O]

Bumble -

Sounds interesting ... sorta like when I got wind of Spider Robinson a year ago ... now I'm looking for the obscure/out of print/used copies whenever I get to a bookstore ... I found one in Regina, Sask. in Sept. and another in Powells when I went to Corvallis in October ... It only took me about eight months, and I've read prolly 90 percent of his stuff ... the rest I haven't acquired yet ...

Yup, I'll hafta check one more shelf now, in the bookstores ...

Some of the "myth" phraseology you use reminds me a bit of my first learning (a loooooonnnnggg time ago) of the wonders of John Carter of Mars and Tarzan of the Apes -- the books, not the comic book/Hollywood crapola -- Edgar Rice Burroughs gave me many an adventurous fantasy/daydream/mythical other-world to explore ... not unlike C.S. Lewis, come to think of it ...

tnx4 the tip ... I'll definitely check it out ...

Have a good Christmas ... best of luck on the standby ... (we fly from Ontario to LAX to Denver to Bismarck when we go home ... something I really could've done without ... 28 minutes to LAX, and sit around for two hours ...)