ATTENTION, MADE-FOR-CBS-MOVIE WRITERS

A Welsh family is terrorized by a spider the size of a CD.

Comments

[Brainy Jello]

It's a home-arach-er. (Home wrecker? No? Okay, nevermind.)

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Why not fog the joint?

[Sean]

What it needs is a cell phone so they could just call it..

[Christobol]

You've got your bed bugs, and then you've got your BED BUGS, ya know?

They need to send in one of those little dogs like Paris Hilton carries around - those are specifically bred for problems just like this.

See, the spider will become sluggish and easy to catch after consuming the little yappy dog.

[rita]

*snork* @ Christobol

[LabSpecimen]

her son Wayne has taken to sleeping on a couch downstairs since the spider was seen

Wuss.

[monkeyshines]

Christobol - Thank you for a much needed laugh. Now I can go to my afternoon class in a good mood.

[Mr. Completely]

"Massive grey fluffy thing"? Maybe it was just a dust bunny.

SNORK to both C'bol and Lab.

[southerngirl]

I'm just wondering...tarantulas can climb stairs, but they can't climb onto the couch?

C'bol, that was great!

[southerngirl]

Brainy, that was bad!

[Brian B]

Not really a KEY quote, but one of interest:

Wayne had gone away for the weekend with the boys and I was tidying his room....

Did anyone notice that Wayne appears to be roughly 30 years old and his mother is still "tidying" his room when he goes out for a weekend with the boys?

I bet he keeps the tarantula in there to keep his mom away from his stash.

[Guin]

If a tarantula can climb to the second floor of the house, I bet it can scurry back down to the first floor (where the couch is) with no problem. I'd say fumigating with Agent Orange would be a positive solution.

[Sarah J]

I totally thought her son was like four years old until I saw the picture. What a baby.

[southerngirl]

Guin ~ see my post above ;)

[Teri]

Yes, Brian B...I was just going to point out that son Wayne is a little old to be living with Mum, and afraid of spiders too! Poor baby, he'd never make it in California...a newly built house means Big Spideys might come calling! *Quick, mum, get the hairspray!*

BTW, why does he think said spidey can't go downstairs...where the sofa is?

tgf
www.herestohappywomen.blogspot.com

[Shannon]

Wayne looks *very* angry.

[mudstuffin]

Lets see: Thirty years old, lives with mother, afraid of spiders, goes out for a weekend with "the boys"...hmm... I don't think his stash is the only thing in the closet IYCMD. NTTAWWT.

BTW: If he's a wimp, I'm a schoolgirl in a jumper, 'cause I would be sleeping in an etirely different building.

[queensbee]

eww. call the movers.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Queensbee - for the spider or Wayne?

[southerngirl]

"If he's a wimp, I'm a schoolgirl in a jumper"

*snork*

[Brainy Jello]

mud - it took me a while, but I did catch your drift. Oh, and "snork."

[southerngirl]

Yay! My first time w/italics! I'm so proud! Thanks to my friends who taught me how. You know who you are. :)

[LabSpecimen]

Muds - nice jumper. I got my wife one like that for Xmas.

[reneviht]

An exotic pet keeper has laid traps in the semi-detached house, but so far it has not been caught.
One theory is the spider - described as the size of a CD - has wandered into the house from a nearby property.

Yeah, right, it came over from one of the neighboring exotic pet keeper's houses.

[NotInBaghdad]

They think it wandered in from a neighboring property. Huh? Who are their neighbors? Are tarantulas somehow now breeding in empty lots in Wales?
And, as so many of you have noted, this is a spider that has traversed roads, entered houses, climbed stairs, and (apparently) messied up rooms. Little Waynie is on the wrong couch if he thinks he's not being visited in the night by this thing.

[KCSteve]

"Mrs Price said Wayne first spotted the spider when he was watching television in his bedroom about three weeks ago."

I'm confused. Was it Wayne or the spider that was watching television?

[pogo]

Psst... Guin! Agent Orange is a defoliant, not an insecticide, unless you want to wait 10 or 20 years for the spider to get cancer from it.

[Christobol]

Wayne's upset because the spider threatened to kick his ass if he tried to change the channel from SportsCenter to Heidi.

[TCK]

Directions for ridding the premises of tarantulas:

1. douse the main floor of the premises with a flammable liquid (gasoline or kerosine are preferred)

2. light 1 match, preferrably from a location easily accessible to a nearby exit

3. drop the match and exit the premises briskly

4. at the point where the premesis can reasonbly be described as an inferno, call the fire dept.

5. file an insurance claim

6. build a new house

[will]

TCK:
The house in question is a semi-detached (or as we say in America, a duplex), so there's one more step.
7. get sued by neighbors for burning down their house.

[Eleanor]

BRAVO southerngirl!!!

I remember my "first time" with the italics thing - it feels like a major accomplishment - hooray for you!

Are you ready to try bold? Piece of cake!

[reneviht]

OK, TCK, I've done steps 1 - 4... wait, what is this "insurance?"

[Sherlock Holmes]

I bet the mom let the spider loose to get her lazy son out of the house. She's probably out now looking for a bigger spider.

[Guin]

*agrees with TCK*

[southerngirl]

LOL @ reneviht!

Thanks, El!

[TCK]

Will: in the case of a semi-detached house (or, as they should say in Europe, a duplex), step #1 should be amended as follows:

1. After the neighbors leave for work, douse the main floor of their half of the premises with a flammable liquid (gasoline or kerosine are preferred)

then, add a step 5 1/2:

sue the neighbors for burning down your house

[TCK]

so, southerngirl - first time huh? I remember my first time - well just barely, I was really drunk at the time and...

what?

oh, first time using italics

never mind

[southerngirl]

TCK ~ *snork*

[Bumble]

Lab~ Did you see the picture of Wayne near the bottom? He's way too big a boy to be that scared of a spider. Unless it's Shelob. Or Aragog.

[will]

TCK:
Problem Solved.
*SNORK*!

[Brainy "Not Morgoth" Jello]

Bumble - again you remind me of the extremes of obscure knowledge in this blog community.

[Bumble]

Brainy~ By comparison to most of the useless things I know, neither of those is very obscure. I think everybody in the world knows about Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings by now. :-)

[Bill]

1. The tarantula's reputation is greater than its real threat. A tarantula bite is like a bee sting.

2. A CD measures 4.75 inches. Not massive.

3. Where's John Goodman when you need him?

[Annie Where-but-here]

s-girl - yay for you!

[southerngirl]

Hey, Bill ~ I love that movie! We've seen it 2 or 3, or 20 times.

[NotInBaghdad]

Bigger spider...check. Someone Google "camel spider." They're all the rage in Iraq.

[NotInBaghdad]

Wow...having said that, I just googled "camel spider." Some of the claims I saw are just silly. Really, though, the things are as much as 6" in diameter and follow you around when you're outside in the desert. They like the shade people cast. They're no more harmful than bees, but they are HUGE and really icky.

[Bumble]

NotInBaghdad~ First of all, Yikes! Second of all, *warning: do not open link if you don't wish to be disgusted beyond reason* do you call this a bee sting?!?

[NotInBaghdad]

Well, gotta say, I've never seen that before. I do know the things eat rats.

[Bumble]

*shudder* Harmless or no, if it showed up in my bedroom I'd have to make a choice between kill the spider or scream and run. Probably the latter.

[U.O]

Key quote: An initial search did not reveal anything, but when she was tidying the house last week she came face to face with the creature.

So ... if they know the spider's initials, couldn't they at least try to guess its name ...? Just wonderin' ...

[Stupendous Man]

No wonder we're having so much trouble in Iraq. Camel spiders are fighting each other just to get in our rucksacks. We had lots of nasty beasties in the jungle, but nothing like those camel spiders, TG! And I don't care if they say they're harmless. I've never spotted a spider that wasn't up to something sneaky.

[Mr. Completely]

Bumble - the camel spiders are real; the bite shown in your link is a Photoshopped fake.

Just sayin'.

More to the point, ICK.

[southerngirl]

U.O. ~ OMG! That was...Really Funny! Or, it was...just...nah, never mind.

[southerngirl]

S~Man, something tells me they're up to nothing good...

[U.O]

sg --

I'll grant you, it was really ... somethin' ... whatever ...

[cyn]

Bumble and Mr. C., i don't know about the icky in Bumbles' second link being photoshopped, but i do know it was part of a series of pictures of the stages of necrotism caused by a very small lil spidy known as the brown recluse.

n eewww.

[Bumble]

Mr. C & Cyn~ *warning: grossness ensuing again* Oh. OK. Note to self: read the fine print on pics google turns up.