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November 21, 2005

THE NEWS FROM MYSORE

Here's an exciting new concept in dairy products.

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Cow urine will be collected from farmers via the same channels through which milk is collected and they will be paid a reasonable price.

Does "channel" in this instance mean "tube"?

got pee?

I can't help but fell recalcitrant towards that allopothy

Well drinking pee certainly explains my sores.

Available at reasonable prices.

I'm assuming that they consider "forced to purchase at gunpoint" a reasonable price.

Asking "Do you have any Mysore urine?" could become the modern form of "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

P.B.


I wonder how the paper differentiates between "abradadabra" and mere "hocus pocus". I guess Penn and Teller are among the editors.

More to the point: Mmmmm, cow urine...

Dang. Make that "abraCadabra".

Stupid magic fingers.

"Cow urine, it's not just for breakfast anymore."

Sorry, that joke was udderly terrible.

P.B.

MOO, er BOO, Pirateboy, snork.

If you're lactose-intolerant will you have to drink some "pee of the cow"?

I'm hoping the "same channels" they speak about are NOT the milking tubes! But the "distribution" channels (marketing-speak).

I do see some difficulties in collecting cow urine and keeping it sterile.

*decides not to go there*

Glowing with fluorescence, cow urine is a neon candle in the dark.

Somehow the thought of dunking an Oreo in bovine whiz just doesn't click..

Sean - that's cuz Oreos don't go with cow pee - everyone knows that chicken mcnuggets are for dunkin in bovine bodily waste

SALE:
Snake-oil. Only $300/oz. Great as a fuel additive or adult marital aid.

So what is a "reasonable price" for cow urine? Just curious.

Cow urine will be collected from farmers via the same channels through which milk is collected and they will be paid a reasonable price.

If milking machines are used ... the bulls might be getting in line.

And how exactly are they gonna clean those big silver tanks?

Barf out! Gag me with a spoon! Gross me out the door totally fer sure!

DJ: If they start collecting bull urine that way what's to stop farm boys from.... I mean they are men.

Monkeyshines:
I hadn't thought of that ... bet the farm boys have though!! Never gonna look at my cereal the same again.

Excuse me, Mr. Chumbucket sir? What use would a pirate have for cattle urine? I'm just wondering, since I couldn't find any reference to it in "Pirattude", it isn't in my class notes, and I'm worried that it might like, um, be on the final or something?

PirateBoy

Hmmm, why is it when I get to the Mysore posts, the article has disappeared? Can someone summarize? I get that they are selling cow urine, with which no doubt Indians want to use for drinking or something like that.

The URL is now at http://www.starofmysore.com/main.asp?type=sparklers&item=3205

In the interests of libellious accuracy, it should be pointed out that the Star of Mysore is simply reporting the shenanigans of what must be to them the quite exotic populace and locales of Madhya Pradesh, in central India.

Brings new meaning to the term 'watered stock.' And where's quality control on this? What's to stop a farmer from er, 'seasoning' the product with some of his own stock?

Annie W-B-H --

Sometimes it's scary how your mind works.

Why thank you, Mr. C. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in the last 5 minutes.

Annie WBH: I thought of that too.

If cow urine is used for some health reason would there be a lawsuit if the farmer filled the can with a little human urine?

No kidding - they're probably paid by the gallon. Time to make that beer pay for itself. "The test results are back - the good news is, Bessie is quite the provider. The bad news is, her prostate is acting up."

No joke - they collect mares' urine to make the menopause drug Premarin. They shackle these mares up so they can't move...it's truly horrible, but cheaper than recreating it chemically.

... um ... Annie W-b-h ...

I've visited PMU farms -- folks I know, from back home -- the mares are not "shackled up, so they can't move ..."

That's another bit of PETA propaganda that fails the factuality test ...

(Just as -- in another context -- farmers are blamed for "ruining the land" or modern-day hunting-interest groups are blamed for "causing the extinction" of a given species of fur, fins or feathers ... )

The mares are kept in stalls, yes, as most equines would be, when inside a barn ... they are fed the best nutrients, and kept "healthy as a horse" (if you'll pardon the phrase) ... they are moneymakers, and most successful businesspersons do not damage their income-producing inventory ...

[Aside: Farmers are the original conservationists ... hunters are the most significant of several reasons many species (including non-game critters) have been rescued from the brink of extinction ... ]

In the current example, if the animals were seriously abused, their health would suffer, and the production of the desired product would be reduced -- or stopped -- PMU producers would be foolish to reduce their income-producing potential ... and, they're not fools ...

and ... while it may be cheaper than the synthetic production, it ain't cheap ... it's both labor- and capital-intensive ...

OTOH ... starvation, disease and sudden (or lingering) death -- these are all part of "Nature's Way" ... The strongest survive, and thrive ... remember the weeds in our driveways and the radishes poking thru the pavement?

just sayin' ...

end of soapbox speech ...

resume Booger jokes ...

(Also, Bessie doesn't have a prostate ... it's a male gland ... tho a human one, so I don't thing the genus bovidensis has one ...)

U.O. -re: prostate - I was referring to the farmer spicing the collection with his own extracts...guess that wasn't too clear.

OOPS!

Duh!

Yeah, I get it now ... So sorry, my bad ... and TNX MUCHLY for not ripping me totally for my rant ...

Some days I'm less alert to nuances than on other days ... (which is an artsy way of saying ... OOPS! Duh! ... or did I mention that already?)

That's ok - you can't help what the voices in your head tell you.

I am a heavy Dave Barry fan. Just got to know about this blog about "Star of Mysore" from my friend. Without any apologies for the appalling quality of the web-paper from Mysore, I wish to state that Mysore is a lovely little princely city near Bangalore(check out ANY travel site).And the Cow Urine story in this "remarkable" web-paper originates from Bhopal,in the heart of what we Indians call the cow-belt(sacred cow,cow urine,war on cow-slaughter). But before you turn up your nose at cow urine, remember mad cow disease,which spread because man force-fed cows with processed fodder including cow-meat and cow-shit which came from other mad cows!!!!

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