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November 19, 2005


Just a reminder that the World Famous Among a Small Select Group of People Rock Bottom Remainders will perform this afternoon at the Miami Book Fair. Our opening act, the amazing John "John the Juggler" Nations, goes on at 5. We in the band have some real surprises in store. For example we just found out that, for best results, you're supposed to tune your guitars before you play them. Who knew?


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Real musicians don't tune..It's highly overrated..

Are you going to perform the " Little Black Egg " sonata ?


So you can tune a guitar; let's see you tuna fish!

Whatever you do, DON'T put the battery from the tuner in your pants. Unless you are into that sort of thing.

Be sure to ge to Rock Bottom of the Book Fair before the next Greek Hurricane hits....

Be great - have fun!

And - if Joan Didion is there and you could get her to sign a copy of her new book for me, I'd happily send you however much $$$$ it cost AND an SASE!!!

IBW - You can tune a piano, but you can't TIna Turner.

Dave - Break a leg.

Aw, come on, Dave. I've heard you guys play......you're not that bad.....

Dave - Mr. C meant break someone ELSE's leg. And remember not to look at your hands on the easy chords. See you in April 06 at UCLA, at the LA Times Book Festival, 10-6, Saturday & Sunday....

King Wingbipeekaboo would give anything to be in attendance, but Miami is, physically, several thousands of miles away from his house. May King Wingbipeekaboo suggest that the Remainders tour California, like the Eagles?

see Ivory Bill - you do know some REO Speedwagon lyrics (weellll - not lyrics exactly - but I'll give credit for album names too)

Still waiting for a Tampa Bay area appearance...

*goes to window*

*gazes longingly to the southeast*

*stifles a sniffle*

Aunt Nancy - *Snork*

I've mebbe mentioned this prior, but there might be a few out there who haven't heard the story ...

I know the guy who named that album ... You can tune a Piano, but you can't Tuna fish ...


Drugs were involved.

U.O - Quelle surprise.

Right at this very moment in space and time...Dave and his band of merry men (&women) are the highlight of the Miami Book fair, and so since I am ahead of this event, by no fault of my own since the planet will not stop spinning...have to be satified to just get out my Rock Bottom Tee shirt...and sing along..in honor of bad lyrics everywhere...

Ma mo sa ma mo sa ma ma mo se..
Ma mo sa ma mo se ma ma mo se...

sang by Michael Jackson from "you gotta be startin something..you wanna be startin something..

in which he laments I believe a long forgotten pgymy dialect that he either has to go to the bathroom or a mournful lament that he can't be black and white at the same time...I've never quite figured it out.
In fact..the band might consider adding this lovely song to its song list,and make the drummer sing it....

As for tuners....mmmmmmm...which one in the band tunes by ear...and which one tunes by machine? Enquiring minds want to know.

As I write this, the high school nearby is entering its tenth hour of 'battle of the marching bands.' Unfortunately, they're not really beating each other up, but rather seeing who can knock the most crappola out of every downbeat. Earlier, dogs were howling, but I think they've passed out by now.

Just as a dark, tepid contrast to the musical mirth of RBRs.

Jeezely, Annie -- where I'm from, most towns have only one high school, and most of those are too small to have a marching band ... sorry, just sayin' ... I was in our marching band (everyone was) for six years ... memories, memories ...

(Note: I did not say what type of memories ...)

U.O. - it's a regional thing - bands from tons of other high schools invade our town and compete for something. It's still going on right now. (I grew up in a small town, too, so it's new to me as well.) I think they do it to run all the rappers and gangstas out of town. Like the Pied Piper, only with a tuba.

Annie WBH: Based on the info provided, I have you narrowed down to either Pasadena or Compton. Please don't confirm or deny, it's more fun that way.

U.O.: "This one time, at band camp..."

I was in marching band too... we did the Hollywood Christmas Parade, we did a couple of Disneyland parades, and when I was a senior, we did the grandaddy - the Rose Parade. Five miles of marching through horse crap. Ah, memories.

I was in a drill team - yes, I rode a horse that helped create the mess on your marching shoes. And I'll tell you the reason there are so many road apples. If you had a drum corps crawling up your butt for 4 hours, you'd poop, too. Ah, memories. My horse loved people food, so he had a habit of grabbing food out of the hands of people that lined the side of the parade route.

Pasadena or Compton. Straight outta neither. Although my band did once share a rehearsal space with NWA...in Hollywood.

Oh, Annie! The Imagery!

Pied Piper. With a Tuba! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yeah, WD ... memories ... best tho, that not all of them are retold ... at least while around the kiddies ...

Mr. C ... yessssss ... memories ... (One of our band directors took us to basketball tournaments, so we hadda march in the gym, at halftime ... as "entertainment" ... dance steps and all ... we sorta din't like that really a whole bunch ... some of those gyms were pretty small ... but we got into the game for free ... and no, before anyone wonders, it never produced any dates with girls because we were soooooo cooooool ... at least it din't for me ...)

U.O - Oh yeah, dance steps. Our band director was very... creative, shall we say, and liked to do a whole lot of artistic stuff for half-time shows. Lots of twirling and high-stepping and butt-wiggling.

Lissen, in high school I was 6'5" (still am, for that matter), about 250 lbs (more than that now, thank you for asking), so dancing for me looked more like the hippos in Fantasia, who were actually more graceful. Ah, memories. I'll be stuffing myself into a locker now, so if you need me, just knock.

Okay, since we're doing late night confessions here... I totally would have done marching band, prolly as a snare or tri-tom, except that I had this unfortunate talent for playing tight end. It's true -- I was a jock who longed to be in the band, especially when we worked the sleds.

Guess which desire won out? At age 42 and just today, I took great delight in buying a new bass drum pedal (a.k.a. a "kick") for my Ludwigs.

Then again, my 14-year-old son is a talented middle linebacker and my 9-year-old daughter throws as mean a spiral as any girl ever has. Yet he plays guitar, she sings and is learning piano, and we're all learning Green Day songs to inflict upon the family come Christmas. Should be fun!

Well, about the only thing I learned from all those years of playing (? more like playing around with) the Euphonium was how to be ... no ... not that much confession, not now, mebbe not ever ...

OTOH, I wasn't a totally bad singer ... but I needed help, or direction, whichever ... and when I got to college the vocal talents (slim as they might have been) sorta faded ... nowadays, nobody much hears me sing ... except My Bride (Remember Her?) and once in awhile, my kids or grandkids ... usually when I'm sorta by myself, and feeling in a good mood ... otherwise, my singing is what the priest gives you for penance ... listening to it, I mean ...

I was sorta a medium-grade jock in HS ... tho the skul was small enuf that everyone who did anything, did most everything ... band, chorus, sports, paper staff, annual staff, blah, blah, blah ... (I mighta been the best 140-pound pulling guard in the conference ... but that din't do much on my re'sume' ...)

OTOH, my kids all seemed to show a modicum of musical talent ... with different directions for each ... flute, clarinet, trombone and trumpet/switched to drums ... the drummer-boy was prolly the best, tho I thot he should stuck to trumpet ... the girls sang pretty well, but din't pursue it ...

How did we get here, NEway? ... Memories of musical debacles ... high school ... wowser ... if we'd of only knewed how good we had it ...

WD -- sounds as if you're gonna have a great time ... enjoy!

Mr. C -- I dunno if I'd wanna try to stuff a 250-lb. tight end into a locker ... sounds like more than I could engineer, on even a good day ...

It's been fun, but tiredness prevails ... talk @ y'all tomorrow ... with more plans for the SoCal convention, p'haps ...

tnx 4 the fun ...

Well, I don't really have any late night confessions. (Not tonight anyway!) But I do want to tell you all that you guys are GREAT! You've had me laughing for some time now, so I leaped right in without waiting for an invitation! Have heard so much about everyone that I didn't want to just "lurk" or "blurk" or anything weird. (Did I say that correctly?)

I'm mostly just dropping by to indroduce myself. I'll pull the Dancing Disney Dude out of the locker on my way out and take him home.

Night all!

Mrs. T! "blurking" is the correct term. (blog lurking)

O.U. you may want to find another term for Blog eets in order not to confuse it with the other form of BM.

... just a thought.

blurk. great word. i misssed the performance. i dont understand why cspan didnt cover it. you should find out.

Hum, seems I lost something there...

Other form of BM.

Kibby - I remembered, mousie before clickie!! Neener neener, didn't get me.

U.O - I used to be a tight end, but now I'm a wide receiver, but not in the gay way, NTTAWWT.

Mr. C!


Your BMs are ours!

.... that doesn't sound right....

... all your BM are belong to us ... ???

... no, it has a ring, but not quite the right note ... I'm looking for something in A-flat ... (HAR! Really old Vaudevillian pun there) ... or p'haps a C-cup or a G-spot ... OMG -- It's starting! Gotta (SLAP, SLAP ... TNX ... I needed that) ... get control of the pun enzyme ...

Deep Breathely ...

Oops! I dunno if I should try to do this so early on a Sunday a.m. ... still a little woozy from not enuf sleep ...

BTW kibby ... I din't create that "other" BM terminology ... but if you want me to take the blame, 'cuz I was chairing the meeting, then ... I guess I'm guilty ... mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima defecatoriumosis culpa ...

talk @ulater -- going out to get the Times, for the crossword puzzles & funnies ...

think i gotta share blame OU;)
a while back .. after takin' a dim view of bein' post-winked yet again .. i asked if bm was dave's new buffalo bob. somebody snorked, and voila, a fitting acronym was passed. (so solly)

cyn- HI!

no, as I said, on another thread (hey, rhyme time),

no blood, no foul ...

As far as bein' post-winked ... heck, I go there, just for the belly laffs I get when something like that (what I EXPECT to happen) pops up ... or, should that be poops up?

Whatever ... if we need one, we'll find the perfect acronym for the whole deal ... or not ...

So, how about ...


wbagnf our gang ...

... or not ...

(Dave Barry Bloglits - Loosely Organized Group)

Well, it might be better than "BM" ...

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