« Previous | Main | Next »

November 22, 2005


Why do we say this? This is why we say this.

SERIOUS WARNING: Do not click this link at work. Or at home, if you have a shred of human decency. The fact is, you should not click this link at all. Probably you should unplug your computer right now.

(Thanks to Michael Crane)

UPDATE: The guy in the video may need one of these. (Via Gizmodo)


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

It would help a litte smidgeon if the Warnings came before the link.

I think it was all an innuendo.

P.B., rocketing off to work.

Puts a whole new spin on the concept of a bum steer.


How can I not click on something called "buttrocket?"

um, assh---? duh

Hey, somebody tell me what it is!

Some dope tries to launch a bottle rocket out of his anus. It gets stuck in there. Hilarity ensues.

Hey, dudes? Dudes? Got any lotion?

Y'know... um... I just gotta say... er... sorry, I seem to be unable to form a coherent thought about this. I got nothin'.

Maybe later.

Thanks, Leetie!
*snork* @ "Hilarity ensues."

I'm guessing he didn't know about KY?

Oddly enough, they seemed pretty sober.

What Mr.C said!

As a member of the guy gender and a former 15 year old, I totally understand why this HAS to be done. My fear is that this may very well be my 15 year old son in the video. If not, it's only a matter of time....

a future liberal leader freedom fighter WMD finder.

I especially liked the statement, "Let me put it in."

It's been said many times, but it bears repeating. People are idiots.

There's a reason they're not called bottom rockets.

Candidate of the year for the Darwin Award!!

Boogzy - Exactly. Someone had to do this. If you don't understand why, then you have two too many ovaries. (Of course, I don't want MY son to do it...but I still say it had to be done.)

Also, helpful advice for the day:

"Dude, pull your sack up so it'll stay. There you go."

I can't believe I just typed that sentence. I'm going to go do my finite math homework as penance now.

We need a PHD to explain and recommend something. Or Oprah.


i can't believe some one would actually do this AND record a vid file of it. Why???!!?

Holy crap! And I thought managing to wear a thong for 2.5 hours was being majorly adventurous.

*hands Bumble some hand sanitizer for the cooties left after typing that sentence*

That looked like it HAD to HURT. I especially liked the way it went into slo-mo for the "oh... my... God" segment...

Tamara (RWC) - Picture it: teenagers at a party. Outside, night. Kid laying on his back, pants lowered to expose his buttocks, pointing upwards. Inserts a bottle rocket into thusly exposed orifice. Pulls his sack up (props to Bumble) while good buddy holds his ankles so as to get proper angle on bottle rocket. Another buddy lights the fuse. As the fuse sparks, kid apparently clenches up. When rocket ignites, it stays in place, spewing white-hot burning propellant all over kid's exposed buttocks. Kid is surprised that stunt did not go according to plan.

Good times.

I couldn't watch all of it, but I do believe that this kid ought to have launched himself along with the rocket, from what I've read....

Thank you Dave. My morning LMAO. And I shared it with the bossman. Now he wonders how I find these things. I blamed you. Hope you don't mind.

The video clip stopped at 34%, right after, uh, insertion. It was enough. Oh. My. God. Not one female on the planet would ever consider anything so... assinine.

*computer says I must save file to disk*

*OK. Done. Now scan for viruses*

*OK. Done. No viruses. Watch video. Read thread*

*OK. Done. Now stop laughing, you have work to do*



I'm so glad my children are girls.


It's a big planet.

'nuf said.




Ah, got nothin too. Except WHY???


Butt! Better than a Bottle! = Motto

Grody to the MAX!!!

Hold up your sack, last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine p.m
And I’m gonna tell them, let me put it in..
It's just an anus, so give a light
Don't aim it at your face
On such a timeless flight

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not able to sit on the toilet anymore at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his ass, can't sit no more.

Your ass ain’t the kind of place, for fireworks kids
In fact it’s dumb as hell
And there’s no one there to extinguish them if you did
And all this fame I don’t understand
I'm just a guy, rationality weak
A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time...

Imagine if he had expelled a bubble of natural methane while that was lit......

....ok....stop imagining.

For your daily earwig:
"Sky rockets ignite...proctologists delight..."

There are few times when I am glad that my IT department uses filters to block certain kinds of content.

This would appear to be one of them.

Gluteus to the Max!

"The Methane Bubbles" WBAGNFARB!



"If you peel away the skin, is there anybody there?"---"Skin", Oingo Boingo

"Butt rockets", hmm? I think we've just discovered the perfect product that requires a celebrity endorsement from Kevin Federline.


oh my freakin' stars .. LM*O
that effin' fool is so lucky it didn't backfire.

I think we just found the perfect customer for the anal douche.

My a$$ hurts just watching that one...

Now to find the mental bleach...

"Your ass ain’t the kind of place, for fireworks kids/ In fact it’s dumb as hell"

Props to Sean -- brilliant!

Oof. When I think of all the time/money/energy that has been spent in trying to keep the Utes of America away from crack... snif.

Now how does one look at any pubescnet male the same way after viewing this?

In spite of the link, I clicked at work. Then proceeded to laugh my ass off. Uh, bad choice of words.

*goes home to lock up son*

And I bet he could sue the makers of the bottle rocket for not putting a warning on the label that you can't launch them from er, there.

Kids! Everyone who's ever roasted a turkey knows you cover your butt with Aluminum Foil BEFORE you do that!!

Sean .... GREAT! That was almost funnier than the video (almost).
Mom : Did you have 'the talk'
Dad : We talked about sex
Mom : Not that talk
Dad : Smoking?
Mom : No
Dad : Drugs?
Mom : The anal fireworks talk! Get your priorities straight!

i don’t know, i think there is a certain level of determination here that deserves some sort of credit.

I only wish there was a video of him explaining to his parents why his ass looked like a marshmallow that was too long on the campfire...

Tonight at eight you shoulda seen
My trou pulled down to show a bright moon-beam!
My po-po burned! I liked to die!
When I tell them what is gettin' in and goin' out of I!
If they could see me now,
That little gang of mine,
I'm drinking something that
tastes just like turpentine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract.
All I can say is "Oow-ee!
Looka where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam.
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!

Strikes me as the sort of thing Dubya would have done at a Skull & Bones meeting....

Mud - Luckily they have video of the entire affair!

Cheers and a snork to you.

What losers. These guys need to watch Jackass: The Movie to see how it's done. And also learn how to fire off a bottle rocket tied to one's special purpose.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when this young gentleman has to explain this to his parents.

"Now tell me again how you burned your a**?

And I thought lighting flatulence was forward thinking!

Now I've heard talk about "pull up your sack", and I've heard talk about all the "sparks". But, ahem, why has no one talked about all those freaking sparks raining down in the area of the aforementioned sack??? Oh my dear Lord! 4 to 1 odds that the poor fool is now sterile!

and yes, he had to take one for the team. HAD TO!

That's the worst thing I've EVER seen. I'm so glad that I didn't click on the link!

Gives whole (pun intended) new meaning to the phrase LMAO!!!!

Chad - I believe I went into some detail in my post to Bumble and Tamara(RWC) wherein I described the... um... event...

Don't know about sterile, but I'll bet he's got some explaining to do to future bed-mates (if he lives that long) about the scarring....

Great "special purpose" reference, GDogg...

heh heh...

"I plan on doing this every chance I get..."

Of course, mudstuffin, we must remember it'll be Britany singing those lyrics soon enough.

El: LMAO where L = Light ???

Kinda makes ya feel pretty okay about the things WE used to do that at age, doesn't it? Wait! Where's MY son????????????

Watching this, it is my fondest hope that he singed his nads and is unable to procreate. Ever. Darwin demands it.

Would "Prosthetic Ass" BAGNFARB?

I feel so sorry for the mental health professional that will be helping this kid resolve the trauma... May have to excuse her or himself to "crack up." Er, didn't mean that...

ScottMGS - I like your thinking! *snork*

What a dumass. First, you have to put a short tube up your butt. Then, put the rocket in the....



"If they could see me now,
that little dusty troup,
I've found a brand new way
to barbeque my poop"

When did this EVER sound like a good idea?

"Hey dudes, I'm going to shove this up here, you hold my ankles, and YOU add fire, ok?"

Bella - Take a vast amount of testosterone, and add beer. There may have been a double-dog dare involved here too.

*Snork* to Scott!

Mr. Completely -- I sincerely hope it was a "triple dog dare" because man, that was unbelievably stupid! Why do guys always feel the need to light their butts on fire??? I don't get it at all! I can imagine him going to the emergency room with the butt cut out of his jeans and gauze across his nether regions. The really funny thing would be if he weren't the only moronic prepubescent boy in the ER in that getup!

As a mental health professional, I can share that the ethically and politically correct term for this deeply disturbed individual (who obviously has not progressed beyond the Anal Stage) is: f***ing idiot.

Also, the sack referred to is spelled sac. Not that I know these things for any particular reason.

Another 101 reasons to be amazed that the male gender has survived can be found here.

This one is especially hysterical.

tamra .. oh yes you did .. and i'm lol!

jacki .. "the correct term" made me spew soda .. heee

....... ........


I've been blurking here for some time ... gotten away with it too...but I failed to heed the warning and now everyone in my office is wondering why I'm snorting and giggling over here. OMG. Spit takes anyone?

Sean and Jacki win.

After watching this young man with a flame in his "stink," it had occurred to me that the addition of a sparkler in his "pink" (if you'll forgive me), would render a magnificent independence day variation of the shocker.


I won? I won? Yay, I won!

What did I win?

tie for "best of thread"
(and a days' supply of chocolate;)

(anyone seen Mr. C? - i'm trying to grovel)

Last I saw he was over in the Nasal aphrodesiac section of the blog having a conversation with his wife regarding the quality of his Dangley Bits dance.

If this was a perfect world..you WOULD have won the powerball, minus taxes, a boxful of nasal aphrodisiacs, a Dangley Bits dance with the man of your choice, and a one way ticket to Miami, in which Dave Barry would personally escort you to some major event and tell everyone that YOU were HIS inspiration.

BUT its not...so just go to Walgreens, and buy yourself some drugs.

Jacki - Snork! Ah, the visuals that brings up...

People.....meet a future senator.

It never fails. You score a six pack. Get a little underage beer bash goin' in the alley. And some asshole tries to shoot off a skyrocket.

Some asshole! HA!

Ok, so I'm easily amused.

Got beer?

No beer. My buttlerocket busted up the six pack.

Ooh, I got another one: FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

Thank you.

Well ... that's nothin' ... I remember the time ...

... um ... nevermind ...

Mr. C, sorry but I believe Yuzz Lightbeer said it first.

Stupendous Man - thanks for the earworm. Skyrockets in flight, etc.

UO.... nevermind.

Southerngirl - darned if you're not right. Musta missed it but still it got embedded in the ole subconscious...


Props (and apology) to Yuzz.

I can't believe I'm typing this, but the guy in the video was probably just copying something he saw on the Internet (like here for example).

OMGWTFBBQ! I have to give Dave much credit for posting something that allowed me to drag Mr Swoosh away from the XBox to see. And I too am glad I have no male offspring.

1 2 »

The comments to this entry are closed.

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise