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November 16, 2005


And we know what we want.

(Many thanks to Cyndi Schoenbrun)


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thank you, judi!

You want a sling?

How does that even work?

Judi v- I'm not sure how you'd be able to wear one of these. I'm guessing you could work something out with two of them...

Sarah - who cares how it works - it's art for art's sake. And I must say, Art sure is fine.

I think judi more or less wants what's wearing the sling...


Notice Judi didn't say Thanks to Cyndi, but Many Thanks. And Judi, Thanks!!!

Annie WBH, I concur.

i know i've been very good this year!

How p.o.'d would your man be if you ordered this for him, he opened it and looked at the tag and it said XS?!?!?

Might be a good way to break up with someone though....
just sayin'

There are some racy photos if you go back to the main site, and choose another category, like "underwear." It brings up the question why wear anything at all?

i was gonna aks - uh, what is keeping it up. but never mind.

just axing.

This will go great with my new kilt!

An interesting statistic on "WARNING: DO NOT OPEN AT WORK" posts on this blog: There have been 49 since March 2004. Here's a rundown on who posted them:

Judi: 48
Dave: 1

Draw your own conclusions.

Chianca - successfully combines solid statistical analysis with the oosik fondling picture - very impressive

Can we somehow get a picture of Walter wearing one?

Not that I'm interested in that sort of thing. Really.

Christmas may be coming, but I can't wait for Sling!

And how am I supposed to keep wroking aftr seeangg such things!

From those wonderful folks at 3M who brought you the Post-it Note!

I'd be into Art too if he'd come to my house in that.....

This more than makes up for all the Twitney posts.

Have we frightened away all the guys yet?

Eleanor - just tell him 'xs' stands for Xtreme Sling.

Okay maybe I'm odd but the first thing that popped into my head was, "$49.00! You have to be friggin' kidding!"

Annie Wbh - I like your thinking! :)

OK, how many people even looked at the price? Hands please.

*looks around*
*sees only one hand up*

Yes, Jacki, you are odd but that's why you fit in here! :-)

I'm not frightened - there's also no way in hell I would wear that thing - ESPECIALLY after everyone's seen Art (or whatever his name is) wearing it. I'm not in bad shape (while, not really bad anyway), but there's no way I can compete with that....

TCK - I'm sure you're a better writer than he is, and you get bonus points for er, hanging in on this thread....guess I could have said that better, but I was distractedddddddd..........

Jacki~ My first thought: "I dunno. I think it's suspicious that they won't show us his face." Either we have issues with prioritizing, or everyone else does. ;-)

Maybe he's Barry Man-enough.

This poor young man is either choking or experiencing some kind of painful neck spasm, and all you people can do is ogle his niblets! For shame!

"PAINFUL NECK SPASM" WBAGNFARB. It would also be more enjoyable than 99% of rap, metal, or Barry Manilow songs.

Maybe I'm just old, but yes, I too noticed the price on that ... thing. Not the first thing I noticed, mind you. I enjoy imagining how he got such an even tan.

Can someone explain to me what that is supposed to be??....is it a new concept in underwear?...I do not get it....

They're on the loose and running amok on the blog!!

The salty mother of a childhood friend used to threaten to "put his ass in a sling" if he did this or that. I never thought much about what that sling would have looked like, but I think this is pretty close. If she'd threatened to put his balls in a sling, he'd never have done anything to piss her off.

Gotta admit - I also noticed the price.

And, of course, I failed to notice the warning until *after* I'd opened it.

OK, I gotta ask - what's the deal with the teenage mutant ninja turtles?

although, now that I think about it, they couldn't possibly be teenagers anymore...so what's the deal with the almost middle-aged mutant ninja turtles?

anyone? anyone?

C'mon, TCK, they're Leonardo, Donatello, etc. Look up higher on the thread. Though I don't know how it's relevant. And, I know why you're still hangin' around. You wanna hang with us gals, to see if anyone takes their top off. And, since you refuse to go topless, we'll never know if you can compete. ;)

Hey! I'm finally back! For some reason my ISP was not connecting to many web sites, including the blog. I've been suffering from withdrawl. I was THIS CLOSE to going down to the Time-Warner office and shooting someone in the thigh!

So..... Did everyone miss me?

About that... uhm... thing that the guy is almost wearing, I can only say... "OWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Hey, Al, welcome back! I can't connect sometimes, and it makes me want to shoot someone, somewhere, anywhere,too!

A variation on a theme first used in "Northern Exposure": It's not the sling you fling, it's the sling itself.


hey AlanBoss! .. yep, you were missed. wondered where our "late night left coaster" went.

n yeah re the owww. gives "tighty whities" a new slant huh?

Wow guys! **sniff**

And I'm no sooner back that I have to go out of town for about a week to a remote location with nothing but dial-up. So I may be absent again.

So if I don't gt in before next Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving to all the bloglits!

Charging twice as much for only half a pair of underbritches. Now that's marketing, my friends.

P.S. I don't know Art, but I know what I like.

King Wingbipeekaboo would like to point out the fact that there have been surprisingly few ramparts-related posts lately. Hint hint wink wink nudge nudge beg beg judi Dave?

We think the same mutagens that increased our size and intellects to human proportions must have slowed our aging processes as well, dude. Maybe we're immortal, even! COWABUNGA!!!!

Besides, even ordinary turtles can live quite a long time, dude.

Glowing with fluorescence, mutant turtles are neon candles in the dark.


do you, by any chance, live near a nuclear power plant?

Wait a minute! It's $49 for the underwear? Never mind then....

I can't believe Judi wants half a banana hammock for Christmas.

Has anyone checked out the prices at Victoria's Secret lately? You can drop $49 dollars on a thong! (Not DOWN a thong, fellas, but BUYING a thong.)VS usually has a diamond studded bra for sale for the holidays that costs a million or so...and it's DRY CLEAN!

In case anybody is wondering, I've been trying to blog this morning, but the blog thingie doesn't work. I'm not saying this is because of what judi posted. Not in so many words, anyway.

YES!, Annie, I would have bought the Million Dollar Bra but when I saw it was "Dry Clean Only" that was a deal breadker for me! :)

I just got a "page cannot be displayed" message but when I closed and opened up a new page - voila! - my post was there, or here, depending on your POV! :)

OH - *light bulb*
Dave means HIS postings, not our comments.

never mind.

I was wondering if you were awake yet,Dave;)

oh i just know the blog is not even close to suggesting that judi's post is worse than his historical rampart entries. ppfftt.

No, no, no...it can't be what Judi posted...must be your Thanksgiving turkey holding the blog hostage.

Please. For the sake of us all. Let him go.

Well, since Judi broke the blog with her doodle dude and his massive half a banana hammock, I will amuse myself (if no one else) with a true account featuring Aretha Franklin.

A few days ago I had been playing my guitar and had changed the battery in my tuner. Being a dork of incredable proportions,I,for some stupid reason stuck the old 9 volt in my pocket.

Later on that same day, a friend asked me for a ride to the store. As we are toodling along, Aretha starts up on the radio. WHAT YOU WANT- BABY I GOT IT... my friend and I start singing at the top of our voices. This startled many motorists because we had the windows rolled down and our singing sucked.

We are butt dancing and singing like a couple of lunatics,when suddenly I felt something kinda hot. Then it became REALLY HOT! I quit singing and raise up in the seat trying to dig whatever it was out of my pocket. I am swerving, but nobody notices because this is, after all, Miami.

My friends looks over at me and says, "WHAT the hell are you doing?" I reply, "THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY PANTS AND IT'S HOT!" She said, "Whaaaaaaat?"

The few of you that have read this far realize that the 9 volt connected with some of the change in my pocket. My thought was if I don't get this out of my pants it will explode or something. Finally, I dig the white hot battery out of my pants and chuck it out the window.

Moral of the story-Don't sing Aretha songs with a battery in your pants.

Good Lord, after seeing senor slingblade, how could you NOT be awake?

or rinsing your brain out with bleach?

I'm with KINGWABBAHNAHBIE! I took it like like man, now unfold the ramparts!

(Unfolded Ramparts WBAGNFARB, no?)

Fort! Chortle, guaffaw, snort, chuckle, snort, snort, giggle. Thanks!

southerngirl: I KNOW who the teenage mutant ninja turtles are...I used to watch 'em every morning while me an' Wille had breakfast.

what I was askin' is, what are they doing here, running amok and all....

Maybe I was too subtle - I just gave the guys an excuse to do 'pricing 'research at Victoria's Secret. Maybe their slings are on too tight to think straight. And yes, Eleanor, for a million bucks, I want machine wash, and a cabana boy to wash it for me.

TCK ~ apparently I missed the reason they're running amok, also. Psst, maybe Ivory Bill knows!

I guess my Brain was Annie where butt here, or the bleach hadn't finished drying yet, cuz I'm sure I saw Victoria Secrets at some point.

Ah crap, point just made my mind go back to the sling image.

*scrambles blindly to find more bleach or VS site*

(thanks Annie-wbh ;)

Fort - good advice, and just in time, too.

MrFishair - just one 't' in my-last-name, please. I'm sure the Victoria's Secret reference got you a little confused, butt it's all behind us now, correct?

Those are just great - for a laugh, try to picture them on a guy with any body hair or body fat. My favorite has to be the bathing suit with the three cutouts in back. Umm. Right. http://www.vizeau.com/v125.htm

Some of the folks here seem to be missing the point. The question shouldn't be "How do they stay on?" but "How soon 'til they fall off? ;)


Yellow Warning on that 3:03 pm link!!

dnoahome if children are underfoot!!

kj - some of them look like they'd snap off, like a rubber band....(hee, hee, I said 'rubber')...

Monica’s Tips for present snooping:

1) Wrapping paper that is really light in color can usually be seen through by pressing the paper tight to the box its wrapped around.
2) Certain things have certain shapes. For instance a “Bratz” doll box is a one of a kind shape, and baseball bats or skis are unique shapes too.
3) Feeling with your hands. For instance, a box of candy canes, you can feel the space between each cane’s hook.
4) Sneak a round. Look in places you wouldn’t normally look. Examples, bathroom, mom and dad’s room, even in your room a present might be hidden.
5) Cracks. Sometimes there are cracks in the wrapping paper, or poor folds in the wrapping paper that you can look into and see something.
6) Shake. If you shake a present the sounds it makes could give you a clue. If it sounds like broken glass – you’re in trouble. But it back and leave the room.
7) Weight. If the box is heavy or light can be a clue.
8) Size. If the box is big or small can be a clue. If it as big as a doll house, it might be a doll house.
9) Smell. Your present might have a sweet smell if its candy, a new clothing smell, or some other smell that might give you a clue.
10) Think. Use your brain and think, putting together all these clues.

Written by Monica Noffsinger, 8 Dec 2006, 3rd grade Nokesville Elementary School

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