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November 21, 2005

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

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Well there goes Broadway. If this was Chicago, K-Fed could be Cellophane Man. You can see right through him.... walk right by him....And never know he's there....

Oh, if only.

I didn't know there was a role in Sweet Charity called "Washed up pop tartlet."

P.B.

We've been getting these rumors for days. Seems like a no-brainer (like the Federlines): Brit as a dance hall girl singing "Hey, Big Spender".

But would you pay $100 a ticket for that?

I believe that I speak for all New Yorkers when I say, "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

That would make Broadway Toxic.

Yet another reason to avoid New York City.

icky, icky, icky p-tang, ewww.

I don't remember Sweet Charity having a male taxi dancer in the cast.

"The producers are so anxious to sign Spears, that they offered her husband Kevin Federline a part as well."

More like out of their collective (lack of) minds.

Make Way for the Broad!

If they could see me now
Succeeding Applegate
Except for 'learning lines'
This Broadway thing is great!
Though it's a long,long way from Louisiana
The whole wide world sees what a floozy am I!
All I can say is "Wow!"
When K-Fed went to work
He knocked up half the cast
(He thought it was his 'perk')
When a step up, holy cow!
Your ears will be bleeding when my show's on Broadway now!

Run! It's the Apocalypse!

so what exactly does "deep talks with the producers" mean - I'm not suggesting that Britney would do anything inappropriate to get a part...well, actually, that's exactly what I'm suggesting

I am now very glad I do not live anywhere near NYC.

The poor people of New York have been through enough already.

"the pop singer, 24, is in deep talks with the producers of the show"

This statement implies that Twitney is capable of an deeper level of intelligent conversation beyond her usual "what colour thong should I wear today". The talks are obviously doomed to failure. Or else that's all that the producers want to discuss with her...

*shudders at though of twitney and K-Fed getting any where near a "deep talk"*

twitney: so, like, what are we, um, supposed to do?
K-Fed: yea man! whaaaat!?
producer: Well, show a semblance of decency while representing
twit: huh? are you saying, like, ah, well we???
k-f: whaaaat!?
pro: Come on folks! It's not like this is hard!
k-f: whaaaat!? Keep my pants up?
pro: Well, yea. And using complete sentences.
twit: like, you know, finishing what we, ah, like
pro: That's a good start. Now finish the train of
k-f: whaaaat!? train of whaaaat!?

pro: I think we're finished here.

Ivory - we're probably safe. The touring company cast is usually not the same one you see on Broadway, if it lasts long enough to tour.

I know why Kevin was offered a bit part. One of the songs in Sweet Charity is called "The Rhythm of life", and one line reads:

"Hit the road, Daddy, leave your common-law wife.
Spread the religion of The Rhythm Of Life."

Now who better to play the role of "Daddy" than K-Fed? This is a role he can really get into!

P.B.

*snork* to Aunt Nancy!

Upon reflection, I think it is real scary that some people thrive on this tripe (and are voters too!)

"The producers are so anxious to sign Spears, that they offered her husband Kevin Federline a part as well."

Is there a part for the "guy who sweeps the floor after the show?" Is that what they call the janitor now? Is it a move to be PC?

Although I am not a resident of NYC, I am a theater lover and I add my NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to this travesty!

But who are they going to get to sing the parts?

Who better than Federslime to take advantage of Sweet Charity?

Attention - New Yawkers - as a Malibu-adjacent resident, all I can say is....No Backs!

*applause for insomniac*

What I find truly tragic about this is...there is a HIGHLY talented actress who is losing out here. Charlotte d'Amboise was Christina's understudy. She has talent, experience, and can out sing/dance both Christina and the Twit. When Applegate broke her foot and it looked like Charlotte was going to get to replace her at the opening, the producers opted to shut down the show instead. "Luckily", Applegate recovered and the show went on. Why were they going to shut down the show? Because d'Amboise didn't have the star power to sell the tickets. When the public is educated enough to appreciate talent, then the Twitney's won't be getting the good parts.

Here is a highly talented actress with the experience that puts her into the "woman of a certain age" category, who is getting pushed aside for a poptartlet, in this instance.

In the instance of Applegate, I like her, but I think the better talent did not win out.

/end rant.

shoot me now! Please!

Slyeyes,

When the public is educated enough to appreciate talent... Unfortunately, I doubt that'll ever happen. Too many of the public don't WANT to be educated. They just want the Next Hot Thing - which explains the popularity of talentless celebutantes like Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Twitney, either Simpson sister... the list goes on, to my dismay.

(sigh) I'm with Dux - shoot me now.

Aw c'mon. Noone sees the talent, the absolute genius of marketing which was required to perfectly hone this package of commercialization, advertising and scandal and make it not just palatable and acceptable, but sought after, craved and admired?

No? Oh. Ok, shoot me now then.

Is that much worse than P. Diddy on Broadway? (A Raisin in the Sun) Or Cher? (Come Back to the 5 and Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean) Or Manilow? (The Madwoman of Central Park West)

Sarah J - Don't know what's up with the current trend of every rap/R&B flavor-of-the-month thinking they can be an actor. Diddy on Broadway; Usher, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent in movies.... Funny thing is, they suck.

There have been notable exceptions: Ice-T seems to do pretty well, and Will Smith, who has grown into a fine actor. Cher, I gotta say, has been (IMHO) very good in Moonstruck and Mermaids.

Manilow should just be neither seen nor heard.

Just my 2 cents.

Mr C- I don't think it's a totally current trend. I mean people like Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby were singers before they went into movies. The difference is that they had A. talent and B. scripts that were tailor made for them. What is new is the creepy cult of celebrity that's around now, so that no-talents who happen to be famous for showing their boobs or whatever get the attention that other more skilled people deserve (like Slyeyes said).

Luckily the comedy-writing industry has yet to be struck by this maddening trend. So please, Dave, step away from the banana sling.

I think offering Federline a job is likely to sink the whole deal. Does anyone think he hooked up with Spears so that he could WORK for a living????

BTW, the Manilow "music"al was WRITTEN by him, included his SONGS! not just his presence onstage.

Don't you have to have talent to do this stuff anymore? I know a dozen people with more singing talent than Spears who would never try to make a go of it on Broadway. Heck, I have a pretty good natural voice and excellent pitch. Guess I should just start dressing like a slut and singing idiotic songs if I wanna get on Broadway. Depressing, depressing, depressing.

This is just a marketing ploy. People who have been dallying about seeing this will RUSH to the theater so that they can watch a musical without having to stick their fingers in their ears in an effort to avoid the Britney era. Then it will finish off with boffo sales and they can say that they're ending their run. This has to be the truth. Anything else is just beyond frightening.
*slaps on her rose coloured glasses, goes on her merry little way*

Wait a sec - I'm still trying to visualize Bumble dressed like a slut.

I'm still trying to visualize Dave in the banana sling.

Artchick - *SNORK*

When the public is educated enough to appreciate talent ...

... Ah! There's the rub!

Bumble - You are positively NOT going out like that!!!

Mr. C~ It's a comical site at best; downright scary at worst.

lou~ I'm 21; stop treating me like a baby. You can't tell me what to do anymore. *pouting*

Both of you~ Do you guys have web cams in places I don't know about? *glances suspiciously about the bedroom* Now I'm afraid to change into my non-sluttish flannel jammies.

This will never work. You can't airbrush a Broadway actor (and in this case I use the word "actor" very broadly). Without extremely, extremely heavy retouching, Britney Spears is UGLY. Every professional picture of hers is so heavily airbrushed, they don't even look like her.

Bumble - Hiding under your bed won't help.

*whimper*

She'd look better with one of them butt rockets.

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