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November 15, 2005


You will want to ignore the following announcement.

But you fans of really bad rock-and-roll style music will want to come to the Miami Book Fair this Saturday around 5 p.m. to see a performance by some random members of the World Famous To Several People Rock Bottom Remainders Mostly Authors Rock Band. On hand this year, besides me, will be Amy Tan, Scott Turow, Ridley Pearson, Greg Iles, Kathi Goldmark, Sam "My Little Brother Sam" Barry, Josh Kelly, Erasmo Paolo, and possibly some surprise guest performers if we can persuade them to destroy their careers join us onstage.Our opening act will be the excellent juggler John Nations.

Also on hand will be our road manager, Ted Habte-Gabr, who will demonstrate that he is obviously in denial about his does not have a mullet hairstyle.

So come on out! We suck, but sometimes in an amusing way. And the book fair is terrific.


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Can't we just let Ted die in peace (not piece) with or without his mullet?

oh wish i could!! i'd want to make sure that Ted knows that he doesnt have a mullet.

Man, three weekend invites to FL in a row?

FEDERAL DUCK, this is your LAST CHANCE to road-trip with a COMPLETE STRANGER!

If you are in fact that bad, why do you do it, Dave?

Man. One more week. That's all. I would have been back in town. I would have come. But NOOOOOooooo It never works out that way, does it? Maybe Gamma will hurry up and get here to postpone the book fair.

Any chance that the DaveBlog might be able to post a podcast of this event? You could call it "Banned in Miami".

Remembering the sage advice of "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish."

(Or maybe it was dill instead of sage. I'd better go ask a Spice Girl.)

Man, it's times like this when I think I live in the wrong state. Then I remember the traffic, the hurricanes, the heat, the bugs and then the traffic again.

Still, I hate missing out on everything.

neener neener

I am soooo going to this.

Fort - I am sooo going to miss Gamma....neener neener.

I drive in Miami traffic. You think hurricanes scare me? Please.

I'd do this in a heartbeat some ten years ago. Road trip or whatever. Chill out, listen to tunes, drink some beers with friends. ... ah freedom.

Alas, I live in CA, and have kidlet(2yo), job and wife. All of which would strongly object to either A: me disappearing and then showing up the next week, with a strange smile on my face, and a wad of hotel reciepts, gas charges and food bills. Or B: quick excuse off work, piling family in car, without the usual month's preparation. That's if she went for it, and that's not bloody likely. So unlikely as a matter of fact that posing the proposition in the first place is probably going to result in a heated discussion that I can't possibly win. (And bringing up the discussion of past monetary indiscretions as well, fun)

Enough about that, not that I am bitter, marriage is a good thing, right? Right??

Well anyway, I am there spiritually and in my mind. Which makes discussions with my boss interesting as I am mentally in FLA.

(Just for the record, and in case she ever reads these, and I blab about being Prairie Dog and all, I am happily married, my wife is absolutely wonderful and I would much rather be at my desk.)

Fort - sorry...I drive in LA traffic, where everyone is very polite... like, snork, um, totally!

On the other hand, Dog, I'm thinking that the Remainders have to do LA if they ever want to become successful in life...

*starts chanting*
"We Want the Remainders!"

Dave, can you hear this?

Unrelated News Update! Cell Phone Bandit "Nabbed"

jamester -- The Remainders hear your chant. We're supposed to play at the LA book festival next year -- April. I think.

Well, erm, thats closer, but I am about 600 miles north. I could probably swing it if it was in San Fran. Then I would just have to find a sitter.

And if invited, Dave, will the Remainders come to the New Jersey Book Festival? Yes, everyone, New Jersey has books (just because we can't read.......).

Ah, but Brainy, you have the perk-off-winning 4Utah news team, so can you really complain?

If there is a cute flight attendant on my flight to Miami tomorrow, I will poll her on the mullet issue.


I saw the Remainders in Chicago on Halloween 2001 and got to meet most of the gang at the pre-show. Got recruited to be Ridley's photographer for the evening, and got kissed by Stephen King. Dave managed to be very elusive, however... I finally caught him for about 3 seconds while he was talking with Mitch Albom. Most awesome night of my life!


Dave, that's awesome. I'll bring the wife and the little Pirates. My 6 yr old son is really into rock. I think he really likes Sophie...will she be there?

Note to self: Beef up security for the LA Book Fair next year.

blog girl #85: Wow. You have been paying attention! You deserve a prize. Here.

*hands bg85 an old pinewood derby trophy*

Dave - forget LA and the polite traffic and all that - come to Montana and play Rockin the Rivers, "The Northwest's Largest 3 Day Rockfest" - it's in August so you don't have to worry about weather

Alice Cooper, April Wine, Night Ranger and Blue Oyster Cult have all been here (also Big Head Todd & the Monsters) - why not the Rock Bottoms?

the website says their booking bands for the '06 show - now's your chance

also, I forgot to mention that in many parts of Montana, a mullet continues to be a socially acceptable fashion statement

I'll see if our plane can land there.

Is that an admission?

Tamara, I think the term you meant to use is "acquiescence".

Ah, yes. Thank you, Tamara.

I need RBR to come back to Chicago...

Yes, I called them RBR.

Andy: You may be on to something here - lots of cool rock bands go by intitials - like BTO, BOC, CCR

well, OK, so I can only think of 3, unless REO Speedwagon counts - what the heck does "REO" stand for anyway??


I don't have to work this week NEENER NEENER NEENER!

Does R.E.M. count?

TCK-REO are the intials of R. E. Olds, the founder of the Oldsmobile car company. After General Motors bought his original company from him, he decided he wanted to run a car company again, so he started the REO Company. One of its models was the "Speed-Wagon".

Ridin' the storm out in Arkansas, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

And if you're an REO Speedwagon(the band) fan, check out speedwagon.com for more on them.

Dave - The LA Times Festival of Books at UCLA April 29 & 3oth from 10 am to 6 pm! Yay! I'm there! Well, not yet, but I'm going shopping for my outfit today so I'll have 5 months to plan my accessories.

And for a truly 'touching' LA Story -

yes, you prolly have to register - take that, Miami Herald! It might be worth it - it's about a corn maze in downtown LA (really), in which an 'artiste' was allegedly filming naked people, ergo:
"The porn in corn was forlornly scorned as norm."
...and something about 'mutant loungewear', which in itself is interesting.

once I asked the question, I had to find the answer (even tho, unlike Ivory Bill, I have to work today, but this is important, dang it!!) - in case anyone else cares, REO Speedwagon was named after a truck - the REO Speedwagon was a truck built in the 20's and 30's by the REO company, founded by Ransom Eli Olds, who also founded Oldsmobile

just in case this ever comes up on Jeopardy - now ya know

don't forget ELO,ELP, and YES (well, that last one isn't an abbreviation...)

thanks Ivory Bill - I spent so much time trying (unsuccessfully) to link in a picture of the Speedwagon that you beat me to it

I'll try again: truck

insom - I was only trying to think of good bands, which, in my opinion, leaves out both YES and ELP

I might leave out ELO too, but I like their version of "Roll Over Beethoven"

Oh, and Ivory Bill - ya can't ride the storm out in Arkansas - unless they've moved some of the Rocky Mountains

OK, since I've posted the last 3 (now 4) comments on this topic, I'm probably talking to myself (which, according to my mom, is a sign of mental instability - trust me, she would know), so it must be time for me to do some actual work (at least for a while - it's only two hours to beer o'clock!!)

Uh, TCK--a serious storm front passed/is passing through Arkansas (home of the last President who was worth a damn, even if he had trouble keeping his cotton-pickin' hands off chunky interns) today, so I think my reference is valid. Actually, I know it is, because the Flying Spaghetti Monster told me so.

May his noodly appendages bless us all, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

OK, so I lied about working:

Ivory Bill - I'll agree with you about President Bill (although I question his taste in women) - but, with all due respect to his noodly appendage-ness, the last time you had a Rocky Mountain winter in Arkansas had to be about midway through the last ice age...

I thought Monica was hot. Does that make me a bad person?

TCK--You're correct about winter, but since when are winter storms the only kind of storms? Your provincial density is becoming tiresome. You may not touch my monkey. Now is the time on "Sprockets" when we dance!

Cueing the accelerated version of "Electric Cafe", Dieter Bill Woodpecker

P. S. "Provincial Density" WBAGNFARB!

MR. C--you are not a bad person, you merely have poor taste. It's sad that here we are, supposed to be the world's greatest country, and we couldn't do better for a mistress for our chief executive than Miss Piggy?

Ivory Bill: listen to the song:

Riding the storm out
Waiting for the thaw out
On a full moon night in the
Rocky Mountain winter
My wine bottle's low
Watching for the snow
I've been thinking about what
I've been missing in the city

and so on...

sounds like a song about winter storms to me


I can get you a slot at the Rural America Mobile Book Festival when it stops near my house, and I always have good beer.

oh yeah, and my density's not provincial - last time I checked, I lived in a state, not a province (they have those in Canada ya know) - so there

I always thought that the choice of Monica was a question of 'access'. If you're the President and every waking moment is scheduled, you're pretty much limited to 1)your spouse , 2) your interns or 3)the Secret Service for sexual partners. and Secret Service agents' eyes would keep wandering around the room during 'the act'.

TCK--OK, your feng shui is stronger than mine. You may touch my monkey after all. What I get for not being a big fan of REO Speedwagon--I enjoy their songs well enough when they come on the radio, but I haven't bothered to pay much attention to them. Maybe I should stick to Doors references.

Taking the highway to the end of the night, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

Ivory Bill: I'll forgive your ignorance of REO Speedwagon lyrics, since ya knew the origins of their name - also, the Doors rock

BUT - I do NOT, ever, under any circumstances, wish to touch your monkey

that is all


seriously, if you're in the area, or can get there, don't miss the RBRs!
a blog buddy sent me a homemade video of `em.
they are ... loud! and actually pretty good in a local-band-that-plays-at-teen-centers kinda way;)
lotsa fun

gee dave. wish i could be there, but that would make my 5th remainders concert. think that is like way overdoing it. but last time at googleland i really think you guys weren't too sucky. especially when josh sang...wow, and i thought the boy only played drums. maybe see you at the next one, if perhaps you play like, hawaii or costa rica. hey, hope you got my book...


wow - I should be here at nite more often - there's a whole differnt set of blogsters who aren't here during the day

and Dave- glad to hear you guys "aren't too sucky"

"Not too sucky"...that's a compliment more befitting Monica than RBR. They're better than 'not too sucky' - more like 'maybe the best musicians at a book fair.' (key word - 'maybe')Man, am I sick of quotation ''thingys.''
And IBW - in hindsight, I'd tolerate a dozen Miss Piggy mistresses over the adjective-challenged mess we have in the front office now. At least then, 'gassy man' wasn't the only cheap gas in LA. Happy "Veteran's" Day, Mr. Bush. (Must stop.... politicizing.) Sorry, oh so very sorry....

Wow Brainy! At this point I am waaaay LTTG, but still...
*hugs trophy to chest*
*places trophy next to Green Jello Olymic Pin in Brainy's honor*

they were at the LA Times Book Festival a few years ago, also, and Steve Martin (yes it's true) interviewed them in a separate event (not the gig). it was pretty much the funniest night ever.

I think that the Left Coast LA Times Book Fair RBR concert is something that we all should not miss. But how can we identify one another? Should we each wear a blue tropical shirt? How about coming in costume, dressing as a '60's beat reporter? Or perhaps just someone from the 60's? We could squirt colored oils on an overhead projector during the show, just like our parents always objected to when they saw "those hippie freaks from the Ed Sullivan Show".

(Whose parents are still sure that anyone younger then they are must be on drugs...)

PB - how about we all just wander about murmuring the password...."first!"

Not yet, silly - when we get to the LA Times Book Fair, April 29 & 30th, Saturday and Sunday, from 10-6 at UCLA....next year.

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