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November 18, 2005

ATTENTION ALL NEBRASKA UNITS

Be on the lookout.

Key Quote: Their left ears are pierced, there are red spray-paint spots on their rears and they may be pregnant.

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Sounds like the RBR after a wild concert;)

Fort: *snork*

".. they may be pregnant and hauling stolen purple Honda Civic auto parts."

Great journalism, really ties together all the excitement going on in Nebraska these days.

*crosses Nebraska off list of potential vacation spots*

Maybe the GOATS are part of the car theft ring! Did anyone thing about that? Huh? Did they?

No?

Nevermind.

that really gets my goat

I swear I did not think they could become pregnant.

Hasn't anyone wondered if the red spray paint on the goats' rumps has anything to do with their possible pregnancies?

Me neither.

Goat thievery is uncommon in Lancaster County,

Sounds like Animal Husbandry is alive and thriving.

If I was that guy I'd repaint the car something other that PURPLE!

Are you sure that quote "Their left ears are pierced, there are red spray-paint spots on their rears and they may be pregnant" isn't cross-posted from the latest "Britney may be preggers" story?

P.B.

if you ask me, they did Joe a favor - now he can collect the insurance money and buy a real car

also, the goats were probably rescued, not stolen - you gotta wonder what the hell was goin' on at that farm that involved piercing goat ears and spray painting their butts - not to mention that they were all knocked up....

Oh, and it took them a week to see they were missing?

H3ll! They could be vacationing in Florida (Miami) by now!

Sounds like there are some BAAAAADDD people in Nebraska.

The culprits should be easy to spot.......They'll be driving a Honda Civic with purple doors that's loaded with some goats that bear a striking resemblance to Cher....

Cher's butt is spray-painted red? just curious

A Civic, huh? I guess I'll be safe then. My car parts are all in one Accord.

Well, with that tattoo Cher has on her butt, I imagine the resemblance is uncanny.

I though that the Rock Bottom Remainders only had red cheeks because Amy Tam whipped them. I didn't realize that it was red paint!

*doesn't want to know how Graz knows this*

Kibby, all I did to get that info was to see her in that video where she rode the 16" gun on that battleship wearing just enough material to cover her crack and nothing else.........

Lo, it's been 15 years or more since that fateful day......I still have those awful flashbachs.....

Graz, guess there are some things bleach just won't touch!

*knows were the scene in The Truth about Stewie comes from now*

Fuc*in' goats.

"Their left ears are pierced, there are red spray-paint spots on their rears and they may be pregnant." Sounds like my ex-girlfriends. If you find them, please do not return them. Set them free in, oh I dunno, someplace with lots of pythons.

I believe everyone, even DAVE, has missed the larger point here, which is that "Goat Thievery," is a reasonably good name for a rock band.

I like how the editors, no doubt to save space due to all the news stories being covered down there in Nebraska, tried to connect the theft of impregnated, body piercing goats with car theft.

The goats won't get far with those doors. Red and Purple clash... they'll stand right out.

*still wondering why anyone would steal purple Honda Civic doors*

And you just know those are rebellious, teenage goats. Body pierced, heavy makeup and illigitamite children. Or Brittany could be involved.

Somewhere North~ Don't tell that to the Red Hat Society. It would break their hearts. Also, you would kill a huge new money market for gift shops everywhere. :-)

"Was that a goat?"

Cbol, how could you????

Southerngirl - first, you have to wear big knee-high rubber rain boots, to put the goat's back legs into. Then... well, maybe I shouldn't say any more.

Mr. C ~ I think that would be for the best.

Graz - I love that video!

If I Could Turn Back Time....

Way cool!

If I could turn back time, as a responsible citizen I would feel compelled to make sure that Cher's (and Britney's, of course) parents never met.

Oh, and congrats Bumble, that first post was one of the best (meaning awful) puns I've heard in a while>:-)

They spraypaint the goats' butts red so they are easily seen by cars. Keeps them from getting hit when they stand on a country road. Each goat owner uses a unique color to distinguish his goats from others.

so the red goat butts don't mean...er....never mind

Honestly I think that rita was right. There is a device that they can put on the boy goat (or Cbol) that sprays a dye on the rear of the girl goat that he got friendly with. Thus the farmer knows that the she goat may be pregnant.

Hey, have there been any pictures of Britney's a*se lately?

lou- Thanks. But I must confess it's not an original. I modified it from an old joke.

Q: What kind of car did the disciples drive?
A: A Honda. The Bible says "They were all in one Accord."

monkeyshines: I don't know if you're right or not, but I think I might try that with my daughter's boyfreinds - if she comes home with red paint on her, they're gonna have some splainin to do!

It would be great for the Federslimes of the world. "Yo, Kev, 'sign' here and you're on the hook for child support."
Think before you ink!

TCK: LOL

AWBH: "Think before you ink!" snork!!

Bumble --

Don't be ashamed to steal -- er -- adapt word usage from another source ...

I thot your adaptation to the present conversation was very smoothly done ... and funny, of course ...

Remember, it's not plagiarlsm unless you get caught ...

U.O. - hey, that line about plagiarism is mine!

Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.

(Oh, hey, didja see where a certain set of stamps was auctioned off recently for, like, 3 million dollars? THAT is the sincerest form of philately.)

Mr. C - sorry - didn't see your stamp story on the 5 o'clock news. But nice set up line.

I heard that plagiarism is the most UNIQUE form of flattery.

Annie W-b-h ...

I meant to give proper credit to you on that line ... but I "forgot" ...

(Aren't you the one living in Ventura? How's the fire dealy? Hope it din't bother your area ...)

Mr. C -- VERY nice setup ... you been saving that one? Worth it.

Also, see most recent thread (of today, the 19th) for plans for First Ever (and Probably Last) SoCal Convention of Dave Barry Blogsters gathering ...

U.O - I'll be expecting my residual check in the mail. Fire is to the northwest - within view, but we're fine, thanks. Way worse a couple months ago with the West Valley fire that cooked over 10,000 acres. It was raining ashes for days. We call it "So-Cal Snow." I'm getting sick of fire season. Thank goodness it's almost mudslide season.

Annie W-b-h --

I like your attitude ... begrudging acceptance of the realities of where you live ... I was in Fry's yesterday to drop off a camera that needed fixing, and the young gentleman at the service desk asked where we were from ... he sorta smiled when I said Nodak, and he asked if it was cold there ... (I mentioned the wind chill of 20 below last Tuesday, forecast of 60+ for tomorrow ... and he smiled some more ...)

There must be a lot of plagiarism going on nowadays. Teachers harp on it more than usual.

Bumble - I wonder if your teachers borrow each other's speeches to give about plagiarism. The Internet has brought so much so close. I'll spare you the old days speech...

U.O. - if they ever smirk at you, tell them what the average house costs up there...once you defrost it. That usually stuns them more than the weather.

Remember what Tom Lehrer says about plagarism:

"Remember why the good Lord made your eyes - so don't shade your eyes! But plagarize, plagarize, plagarize!

But remember always please to call it research.

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