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November 23, 2005


We have a report of a stolen walrus penis bone (second item).

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

Be advised that Walter is on the case.
Also be advised that the exclusive CrapCam has put some kind of weird green line across Walter.


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Where's his Sherlock Holmes hat?

The school camera did something similar to my student ID. I looked like a bleeding Vulcan.

$850 dollars for one of those things? Dang.

Wow, those things are expensive. That's like, two Xbox 360's worth of penis bone.

WOW. I had no idea. Probably worth a lot more to the walrus, though. Glad to see that Walter is on the job...er, case.

Penis, bone, "units", Walter, Oosik... I wondering if "Wasilla" is a place, or an Alaskan reference to the male genitalia..

***Note: At the left of the screen, under Who's Online, it says: There are currently, 210 guest(s) and 0 member

Scroll waaay down for an Ode to an Oosik.

So this guy stole a valuable walrus penis bone...why?
1. resale
2. blogging purposes
3. on a dare
4. undisclosed personal reason

Sorry for posting twice, meant to put: There are currently, 210 guest(s) and 0 member(s)...

That's a lot of disappointed guests, eh?

What kind of heartless bastard would take a man's walrus penis bone? Come to think of it, what kind of heartless bastard would take a walrus's penis bone?

Jessica and Stupe-man - to understand why, please review yesterday's video, "The Asinine Adventures of Rocketboy and his Firestick."

AWBH--it was painful enough viewing it one time!

"Padie's Stolen Usik" wbagnfarb

Any relation to Walter?

Pardons if this has been covered earlier, but what is that apparent joint in the middle of Walter? Is he constructed kind of like a pocket fisherman?

everysandwich - that does make sense. Kind of a Popeil's Pocket Penis, of sorts.

Actually, this question has plagued me, too. Is it really so big that it has to have a knee?

in order to make up for the fact that male walruses are fat and ugly, God decided to give them reeeaaally big penises with a knee...?

what? it could happen

OK, do I SMELL like spam or somethin? Why do I keep having to go through the robot password thingy?

Because you're saying a bad word, TCK!

Sometimes if you hyphenate (which sounds like a dirty word all by itself) a word, like pen-is, you won't get the spam thingy!

Let's see -
*pushes post*

It worked!

Maybe Jeremy Padie was just trying to play the game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" with Walter.

Did the Alaska P.D. log and measure this stolen property? I'm wondering if the police blotter reads "Usik, 9 millimeter..."

Happy Tryptophan Day, Bloggers!


There once was a walrus named Brent
('cause Walter won't rhyme)
Whose oosik was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He installed the thing double...
Then instead of c-----g,
He went.

This whole thing made me laugh very, very hard. I have no idea why.

Everysandwich - good question, and it's related to how it got its name. The tapered half, the part furthest from the male's body, is called the 'ooo.' The other half is the 'sik.' It comes (sorry!) from the sound the female makes during the event. When the first part goes in -"ooo", then the second part - "sick!" And, to be honest, I have to agree with her.

ahem...I just said it was an excellent question. I never said I would answer it.

You people are freakin' crazy. Oooh, what's that spam smell?

Just kiddin' TCK. Ya know I luv ya!

I guess we now know what that spam smell is!

Dave, I thought that green line was a circumcision scar.

as owners of the penis ,we find it very amusing that the entire country finds it funny that someone stole our penis - owner, mile 49 cafe wasilla alaska

the oosik wasnt worth more than 200 hundred dollars every 1 is full of shit

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