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October 19, 2005

WAIT A MINUTE...

Didn't Michael Jackson already do this trick?

(Thanks to Michael Wyszomierski)

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And there is NO WAY the 'impregnation' could happen at any point before or after the program!

Naturally it will be without sex.

That takes all the fun out of it.

Dave, after all the Brittany "Alerts", I'm happy to see Ananova making a comeback. I actually missed it. This story even sounds like it could be accurately reporting something an actual person really said...

But probably isn't...

As you can see there's nothing up my sleeves, and nothing up her...

So does the audience have to sit there for nine months? Does he plan on letting us know whose DNA? So many questions. Of course the lead off question being 'Why?'.

Christobol~ LOL

"An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion"

Intimate indeed!

Yes, Michael Jackson has already done it, but w-a-a-a-a-a-y before that; God did it.

I can see it now, this chick will end up on Sally Jerry Raphael Geraldo wanting to beat the snot out of someone over who the kids real father is.

And now a sprinkle of yellow fluid on this magic stick and PRESTO the line turns blue! There you have it, pregnant right here on stage!

Mr.Copperfield: "I swear I didn't touch her!"
Mrs. Copperfield: "Yeah right."

David Copperfield is going to make his nose fall off?!?


She was more like a beauty queen from a magic show
I said don’t mind, but how do you know I am the one
(Never did - touch a girl - no how)
She said I am the one (Never did - touch a girl - no how)

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene
She said you must be alien - I think your skin has turned green
(Never did - touch a girl - no how)

People always told me be careful with Jesus' juice
And don’t go around makin' young boys’ sore
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do ’cause they might find out the truth

Billie jean is not my lover (well, duh)
She’s just a girl who says that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

I got nothin' ... except ... do any of you geezers out there remember the one about the drunken magician who drove down the street and turned into a telephone pole?

... mebbe Mr. Copperfield will impregnate her with a telephone pole?

... oh ... that's impale ... my bad ...

"Can't catch me
'cause the rabbit gone died..."(Aerosmith),indeed.

He didn't say it was going to be a female human being. Maybe his rabbits are in his hat, and presto change-o, the doe (female rabbit, look it up) is preggers.

U.O. - *Mega-Snork*

Key Quote: (I swear I am not making this up) (kinda) He said: "Bull s**t! There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make the **s change into the letters 'h' and 'i', respectively! No one has found out how to do that yet, until now!"

*ilarious, trop*chunt.com™ guy!

David Cooperfield: And, now, if I could get a volunteer from the audience...

A.N. -

Tnx ... mebbe my conversations with my cousin's wife this weekend last had somethin' to do with raising my intellectual thought processes ... she has a P.Hd (or howsomever that's spelt) in Anthropology ...

... nah ... there's no help for me ... I just get lucky once in awhile, having jokes so old that even the geezer crowd hasn't heard them ...

Speaking of old, a note to pogo, if/when he checks in here ... I got a three-volume collection of old Pogo books in Powell's in Portland yesterday ... simply amazin' how the stuff holds up and remains fresh, original and germane even to the current political mess ...

end of sermon ... resume regular rehabilitative activities ...

Sunny~ LOL! I was wondering where he'd find a volunteer for this.

it's inconceivable to me how he could do that!

Bumble~ Thanks! I picture the entire female population of the audience stampeding towards the exits.

... also ... sorta as an aside ...

He never really said WHAT he'd impregnate her with ...

I'm thinkin' ... Alien ... ???

"Naturally it will be without sex."

Naturally.

Hopefully Mr. Copperfield can also make this "immaculate conception" grow up really fast.. because the world is in desperate need of saving..just ask Michael.

more like immaculate deception. talk about yer BullS**t.

Hey, misdirection and deceit is a magician's stock-in-trade ... just sayin' ...

U O - LTTG checking in here - yesterday was my birthday so I celebrated it by running on the treadmill at the Dr's office. All is well.

Walt Kelly's stuff is timeless. Even his commentary on what was current political stuff years ago still seems to apply today - just change a name here or there and Joe McCarthy becomes Pat Robertson, etc.

pogo -

the books are: The Pogo Stepmother Goose, The Pogo Peek-A-Book, Uncle Pogo So-So Stories ... all in one volume ... just FYI ...

Yep, he's got Simple J. Malarkey as the King in the Tart Trial ... I had some difficulty maintaining decorum and stifling my loud laughter whilst eating dinner last nite as I went thru that tale again ...

Joe McCarthy is Pat Robertson? Who knew?

(Aside: I once attended a lecture/speech/program of Al Capp's ... his dislike for that ilk was -- I think -- as pronounced as Kelly's ... and I still recall clearly the poise with which he handled hecklers who seemed to think that McCarthy was worthy of sanctification ... )

Packing up to head for home, prolly back on the air tonite, tho with the new AirPort stuff, might actually find a truck stop along the way and check back in ...

Missed you guys ... glad the rat race -- er, treadmill -- deal is a good report ... I could use some good news, what with some of the less-than-totally-nice stuff in life lately ... (nothing big, except on personal basis, when compared with Sondra's escape from the River of Doom and all the hurricanes and earthquakes and Saddam entering a plea of "innocent" ... but still important enuf to influence my personal outlook ...)

talk @uguyslater

My high school algebra teacher was an accomplished magician. He used to do tricks for us in class if we behaved well. Never this one though. Thank God.

Enough of the girls at my school got pregnant without magic.

Fudge. I swear I closed them.

Heckfire.

Please work.

I (obviously) dunno what I'm doing wrong; someone help?

/i> U. O. Saddam pleaded "not guilty". I don't think he he has the cojones to plead "innocent".

Well THAT sure didn't kill the italics, either. Sorry Bumble, I tried.

Oops!

Well, I was more interested in getting out one of my CDs for playing than I was in really listening to the "snoose" ... it just happened to be on whilst I was changing discs ... from Willie Nelson to Wynton Marsalis ... or was it the other way around?

Whatever, I'll try to be more careful in the future ...

If he does knock up a rabbit, we'll know for sure he's the bunnydaddy if the young spawn is freakishly gaunt with an overdramatic, penetrating stare. *Shudder*

And unfortunately, I have no idea how to get rid of italics. Sorry, Bumble. I say we learn to like them.


I don't understand--how is he going to prove she's not knocked up before the act? On on-stage gyno exam and lab test? And how's he going to prove she's knocked up afterwards? I am very confusdimicated.


Did that work?

Sorry, guys, hope you weren't too attached to those italics, there.

I disappointed that none of you brought up the Scientology Virgin Mother.

Whoever fixed my blunder, thanks. *sigh*

he's gonna have 18 yrs of child support.

I believe he will have a flat-bellied assistant go into a box (heh, heh) and come out with a late term pregnant belly. But how will he show that they weren't twins? Along with Michael Jackson, Tom Cruise has done this.

Let's see her try to explain this one to her parents!!

I've actually seen that show (hey, don't judge me, the in-laws bought tickets, so we could take the kiddos), and it's not nearly as impressive as it sounds...mostly just a fake sonogram (projected onto a big screen), and it ends in...(I swear I am not making this up)...


...a card trick.

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