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October 24, 2005

THE MEAN STREETS OF HOLLYWOOD

They busted Elmo.

(Thanks to Jeff Arch)

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Wow, times are tough everywhere - even lovable(?) little Elmo gets busted.

Hope they fry his little fuzzy red ass.

Oh, FIRST, BTW. Yay me.

*goes to scratch Hollywood off her list of places to visit*

*notices Hollywood wasn't there in the first place*

*gives sigh of relief, goes to bed*

You know Hollywood- it's just muppet eat muppet

Would you believe that? And they've even tried to bust the Great Wingbipeekaboo! Thank God he was a state champion in distance running.

So that's what Rambo meant when he started waving that AK-47!

He was just warning Elmo to stay out of the photo ... or ... mebbe he was hinting very strongly that we could show our appreciation of his "protection" with pecunious contributions ...

Yeah, Aunt Nancy, I'm with you on the "non-visit" thing - couldn't have put it as well as you did, though.

Sounds like a ripe atmosphere for Batman, Elmo and Puss'n Boots to whip out their switchblades and do a snappin', dancin' routine in the street. On second thought, that would be very cool.

I was also vaguely unsettled to see that Mr. Incredible seems to be wearing a codpiece. Or maybe he really, really likes Elmo.

OK, I can see that the little guy gets on your nerves. Even I take to my rooftop nest when I see him coming around. Heck, I'd rather spend a day with Oscar, but they cut off his HEAD, for gosh sakes. What is this world coming to?

Survivor: Hollywood Boulevard

Muppets of the Night, who'd've thought?

You would think that with so much great material in such a looooooooooooong story that I would have something to say...

...

... Nope.

(The above comment would, by the way, lead Mr. Sallyacious to ask me what I have done with his wife.)

OK, let's play, which is more disturbing to a 4-year-old?

1) Elmo bugging Mom and Dad for a tip.

2) Elmo handcuffed and shoved up against a police car, whereupon his head is removed and mounted on the hood.

Expect some long, sleepless nights for the unfortunate kids who happened to be ambling down Hollywood Boulevard today, my friends.

But at least Elastigirl was nowhere to be found . . .

*Little girl's father comes home from work; she bounds happily into his outstretched arms for a hug*

Girl: What'd you do at work today, Daddy?

Dad: Daddy arrested Elmo.

Girl: Mommy!!!

"Now, they're multiplying like rabbits" (in front of the theaters)

Yeah, you can get arrested for that. Er...so I 've heard.

Wasn't it the first of Mel Gibson's Lethal Weapon movies where the quote was "Next thing you know, we'll be arresting Big Bird. Attention all units, be on the look out for a big yellow bird..."? I just knew that Hollywood would eventually make my dreams come true. Now, if only they could drop a house on a couple of witches ^h^h^h^h^ bosses I know....

P.B.

Oh my word- I used to work and (unfortunately) live there. Superman, aka Chris Dennis, was my next door neighbor and was a pretty decent guy as far as all that goes. He even helped us move, which isn't a bad deal (having Superman help you move). He was a friend of Crocodile Dundee, aka DON something or other, who was also a champion skateborder. I worked security at the neighboring Hollywood & Highland center, and the oddest directions I ever gave in my life went something like this-

ME-(as a security officer, to young man skateboarding in loading dock area at Hollywood & Highland center) "Sorry son, you can't skateboard back here"

Young Man- "My Mom is visiting my Aunt in that apartment building over there, and I never been here before. Are there any skate parks or anything in Hollywood?"

ME- "I'm not sure, but go through this corridor, CARRYING your board, and you'll find yourself out on Hollywood Boulevard. Turn right and go about fifty feet down the sidewalk until you're in front of the Chinese Theater and look around for a man dressed like Crocodile Dundee, then ask him- he'll know for sure"

The kid saw me later that evening and thanked me- Don had directed him to a neighboring skate park.

For the record, Max Allen as Batman is a decent sort too. He and Chris (Superman) had been there WAY before the others moved in and started causing all the problems. As security for Hollywood & Highland, we had constant problems with the newer characters and had to chase them off the property fairly often, but Chris, Don and Max knew the rules and abided by them.

Chris Dennis as Superman

Maxwell Allen as Batman

Next thing you know, the cab drivers will be dressing up like Hugh Grant and Divine Brown and cruising Hollywood Blvd in rented BMWs. When will it end?

*spit-take*

Jillywilly! LMAO!

" Fights erupt over precious sidewalk space, especially when two of the same characters show up."

Now that is something I would pay to see, Barney fighting himself. I'll wager the dialog that goes with the fight is just as exciting!

First Barney: "Listen @#@&^^%% I'm the *%%$%ing real $%^@ing @#$%%Barney!!!"

Second Barney: " #%^&**&^^%!!!! Why an I the ##$%%^&& second #$%^*&%ing Barney???"


*mental picture*

Prison Guard: Mr Elmo, bend over and say "hahaha that tickles!"

PS .. I saw some latenight TV show (was a spoof on a tabloid office drama or somesuch.. Bebe Neuwirth was in it..) and Kevin Clash (the voice of Elmo) walks into a recording studio to record a PSA. Nice looking, btw, deep voice too! So he walks in, says "Let's do this thing" in his regular voice, walks into the recording room, records the PSA in Elmo-voice, turns and leaves, saying goodbye to the soundbooth guys on the way out... Cute or not (you decide), it was like finding out Santa is a Lithuanian plumber who wears a red suit on his days off.

when muppets go bad???

Are they roaming the streets and snapping there fingers?

You know, That's the seventh sign of the Apocalypse.

THEIR (not there, or they're for that matter)

LA Times has a similar story:
Animated Characters Switch From Snapshots to Mugshots
L.A. police are cracking down after complaints that some costumed impersonators are shaking down visitors along the Walk of Fame.

One of the links has pictures of the characters in action.

In DC the panhandlers give directions. You come up off the subway at the mall and they tell you how to get to the Air and Space Smithsonian. And then demand money. At least they don't dress up like Nixon or Hillary...

Jillywilly, they don't call him Mr. Incredible for no reason.

Also, *groan alert* you could say they caught Elmo red-handed. ba-dum-pish

Oooh! Hel-loooooo, Mr Voice of Elmo!
...I hope he doesn't do the voice when...you know.

We walked in to the lobby of the Ramada Inn Convention Center in Wheeling, West Virginia in November, 2000. There sat Santa Claus with a sign next to him: "Pictures with Santa, $5.00. Your camera."

My co-worker said, "Jeez, and it's not even the real Santa Claus."

Mr. Incredibles have some skinny legs... that guy was perfect as Mr. Incredibles, his legs are very skinny.

Elmo in cahoots with Mr. Incredibles and Spongebob (who knew?), and they're going against Batman and Superman (and possible the whole Justice League)?? There goes the world.

WARNING: idea from a sick mind about to be revealed.

My husband and I were watching TV and getting nauseated at all the "Tickle Me Elmo" and "Hokey-Pokey Elmo" etc commercials, so we came up with our own doll idea..."Shoot At Me Elmo". He has a target on his tummy, and sensors in his hands, feet, head and tummy. You'd attach him with wires to a targeting damper (like a stack of hay bales) and then shoot a shotgun or rifle at him. If you missed, the sensors could tell and Elmo would say, "Ha Ha Ha, you missed me, $h!thead!" and when you finally got him good, he'd go "Ahhh! You got me! Uhhhhh..." and never make another sound again. I know, that's really sick. But we thought it was funny at the time. Must've been the beer...

Aunt Nancy - yeah, but you'd still sell a million of them.

Mr. Harper, for example, says his Elmo is a foe of Batman and Superman, but in cahoots with Mr. Incredible, SpongeBob SquarePants and at least one of the half-dozen Spider-Men who prowl the street.

And I thought US foreign policy was complicated...yeesh....

I can just hear someone now, yelling "Don't make me go Sponge Bob on your a$s!"

Aunt Nancy~ My drama teacher has a sound bite on his computer that we all thought was hilarious. At the beginning you hear "This is the song. Lalalala. Elmo's song..." then two gunshots and dead silence. It doesn't translate into text as well, I guess, but when he played that for us, we all cracked up. Then of course there's the version of the Barney song sung by every child in my class when I was in fourth grade... "I hate you, you hate me. Let's hang Barney from a tree with an ax in his back and an arrow through his head. Let's hope Barney ends up dead."

Are we very bad people? Oh well.

I was there, once. I had my picture taken with Superman and then a Storm Trooper. Super looked way too wimpy, though. Not sure if it was Chris Dennis as mentioned by Dave (not Barry) above, but it could have been. The Storm Trooper guy was funny, though. I didn't mind giving them a couple bucks for tips, though Super had the cash sticking out of his belt and it's plainly visible in the resulting photo.

This was a few years ago. I would have liked to have had my picture taken with Mr. Incredible. Then people would have said "Hey! Twins!" when the say the picture.

Bumble,

Barney was around when you were in 4th grade?!?!

Now I have to ask..what's the fare on the geezer bus?

TN~ Yes, Barney was around when I was in 4th grade. I'm 21. They used to make us watch it while the teacher was outside smoking in the morning. We despised it of course. Hence our incessant singing of the above song. :-)

TN~ Yes, Barney was around when I was in 4th grade. I'm 21. They used to make us watch it while the teacher was outside smoking in the morning. We despised it of course. Hence our incessant singing of the above song. :-)

TN~ Yes, Barney was around when I was in 4th grade. I'm 21. They used to make us watch it while the teacher was outside smoking in the morning. We despised it of course. Hence our incessant singing of the above song. :-)

TN~ Yes, Barney was around when I was in 4th grade. I'm 21. They used to make us watch it while the teacher was outside smoking in the morning. We despised it of course. Hence our incessant singing of the above song. :-)

TN - the fare is the price of a Coke from a vending machine where you were age 10. Posession of a Captain Midnnight Decoder or the wrapper from a package of Hostess Cupcakes (NOT Ding Dongs) is good for a free pass.

Speaking of dangerous outlaws.

Ever since I was, uh, hugged -- rather enthusiastically -- by Bugs Bunny at a theme park when I was in high school, I've been an advocate for getting the fake furry creatures off the streets. There's just something about Bugs squeezing my 17-year-old self and saying in a smarmy voice, "Bugs Bunny love eeeeeeverybody!" that just killed Looney Tunes for me. Tip: If you've been through puberty, don't hug anyone dressed like an animal.

Mr. Completely - and I'd sell them in bulk, at discount rates, to firing ranges. Sheesh! What a mean, nasty person I am today!

La la la la
La la la la
Elmo's World
Elmo likes his cell mate
His jumpsuit, too.
THAT'S Elmo's World!

(you gotta know the tune, folks)

Curse the fricking multi-post! I was doing that from a school computer, and every time I hit post, it showed me an error message saying it was unable to post, and I should retrieve my message and try again! I gave up and went to Macroeconomics thinking it hadn't worked because it never showed my post when I refreshed the page. Lying hunk of technological crap. *end rant*

Once in High School we went to Disney world drunk. Big mistake-it's pretty hard to handle sober. Long story short-Donald Duck got thrown up on. It kind of spoiled the magic that when he swore, it wasn't in the quacky "character" voice.

P.S. Aunt Nancy-my son has wanted to market a "Road Kill Barney" doll for a long time. I'm so proud.

I'm still amazed simply that the ex-columnist known as "this blog" is linking to the Wall Street Journal, of all things. (I enjoyed the article, though. And believe me, seeing it on the front page of the WSJ here on Wall Street yesterday made it look even more bizarre than it does online.)

Could it be that ex-columnists have way too much time on their hands compared to hard-working, midnight-oil-burning, deadline-driven, 24/7 current columnists??? Dave reading the WSJ to fill his days sounds like an even bigger life-change than I was expecting ...

On the other hand, every day on Page 1 they do print an offbeat story, boxed and in italic font (so the seriously staid folks won't risk reading it), so I guess it's not a half bad idea to check.

If I had spent $1000+ for a costume, I'd be pretty damn desperate to recoup my lossess...

Yep, this one is too funny. I had some further fun with it on my site.

To All Who Read This...
This is THE BATMAN of Hollywood Blvd.

We are not that bad, over tips... I mean the guy will eventually walk again...Swish, Pow, Boom Bang!

Most of Us are really actors, this is just our waiter job in between sets.
It just really frustrating when someone comes up and they speak perfect english to You...they take the picture and when it comes to giving the tip...they all of sudden only speak French!!!
WE DISLIKE THE FRENCH...VERY MUCH!!! CHEAP HEATHENS!
Most of those suits are HOT!!! Mine cane reach 126.3!!! No Kidding!!!
So Please be kind and Tell ALL others also.......
These guys can be ruff, but WE ALL work so hard for the tourist and everyone!!!
Love & Happiness To ALL!
Bats & The Gang

The Batman character who poses on Hollywood Boulevard, Maxwell Allen has been arrested so many times for harassing/threatening tourists and other innocent bystanders, I'm shocked the LAPD allows him to continue taking photos with all of your children! (This information can be verified through the Los Angeles County Recorders Office/Public Records.)

There should be a law passed that anyone who has a record, be banned from dressing up and throwing their arms around unsuspecting children!

This is sick.

The Batman character who poses on Hollywood Boulevard, Maxwell Allen has been arrested so many times for harassing/threatening tourists and other innocent bystanders, I'm shocked the LAPD allows him to continue taking photos with all of your children! (This information can be verified through the Los Angeles County Recorders Office/Public Records.)

There should be a law passed that anyone who has a record, be banned from dressing up and throwing their arms around unsuspecting children!

This is sick.

This is The Batman of Hollywood Blvd.

Whoever the Clown was that wrote, that I have been arrested so many times for going after the tourist; is a complete "Rumour Starting" Moron!!! Don't make comments that You have no clue about you brainless twit!
I have been arrested, this is true, but because I was beating bad men in My neighborhood, protecting the tourist, not hurting them! Clownboy!
I have two counts of terrorist threats: I told them I would beat them up. They needed it!
One on Superman, for stabbing me in the back!
One on a crack dealing addict that kept selling it to the Highschool kids...I don't like that! Especially when he dresses like Batman to do it!!!
The others are minor offensives: like forgetting to pay a court bill, going in the mall while dressed as Batman, they called it Trespassing! Fighting in public against gangbangers, but they dropped it since I was outnumbered 4 to 1.
Yea, real hardend crimminals here! Knucklehead!
Shut-up you pansy!
All the characters(who have grade AAA costumes) work very hard for everyone and are there for All...but simple respect is ALL we ask!
With Batman, believe what you see in the suit!
Martial Atrs, Special Forces trained, Weapons, Firearms, Anti-terrorist tactics.
Security Guard, Patrol Leader and Self-Defense Trainer for the Guardian Angels! Shall I continue?!
Don't tell ME....I am not there for the Tourist!
You have absolutely NO CLUE, YOU TWIT!

I have lived in Hollywood for 12 years.
Almost 8 years ago, the Characters of Hollywood started showing up, at first there was only 7 of them(for awhile) and there were no problems.
In that time over 100 characters have come and gone. But there are two originals who stand firm. Batman Max and Superman Chris. Over the years, both costumes have been upgraded to almost perfection!
The problems didn't start until the other characters came out.
All the aggressive panhandling, the grabbing, the conning to get pics ARE NOT from those two.

Batman has been arressted, but not for going after the tourist, for going after bad guys! This guy is really serious about no crime in his nieghborhood!
I'll give him credit, he doesn't actually think he is Batman, but he won't stand there and watch it in front of him either, especailly with his skills, from what I hear. He really is there for the tourist, folks. The only thing stopping this guy from being Batman...is the millions of dollars for the neat gadgets!
Superman is a Superman collector...beyond anything or anyone!!!
A complete well of Superman trivia and Info.
Now He thinks...he just maybe Superman! Yikes!
Those two are great people and are really there for the tourist...the others, I'm not quite sure just yet!

Check out www.myspace.com/therealsuperheromovie OR www.therealsuperhero.com

It's a feature documentary due out in 2007 about the superhero characters of Hollywood Boulevard.

Yes, I actually know Max (Batman) he is such a nice guy he would never hurt any innocent person. He is as close to Batman as they come. He tries to go and talk to youth groups, and chruch groups as batman.

He even came to my college class and helped me with a class video assignment where he played Batman.

He is really down to earth a man with a family, and he could really use prayer, and support right now I am going to go find out where he is jailed and visit him.

If anyone know where he is in jail please email me Gowardh@yahoo.com

I am so sorry this happened to him he is a family man and a strong Christian very moral.

I know him and talked with him long. We first met a batman impersonator party that was supposed to be like an audition for a tv show baised off of if batman and catwoman had a daughter called "bird of prey". The show never made it but it was great meeting him there.

If he was fighting it must have been because someone was doing something really wrong.

To ALL:
There aren't enough words to say: I Am Sorry.
A story from the Bible:
There was a man that God made a king. He gave him much blessings, put him in good standings with the people, and put everything at his feet.
But, because of the hardness of most of the people's heart; the king became hard and started dealing with the people hard. God sent prophets, signs and warnings to the king, but he would not listen.
So God said to the king; "because you have not listened to Me, your place will be removed and given to another; until you repent your sins, return to Me and be healed."

So it was with the Batman.......

Forgive me...for I have now repented my sins and have returned to the Lord again. I didn't find God in jail...I was in jail, because I stopped listening to God!
Do not follow my example!
Seek the Lord and all His strength, seek the Lord continually. (Psalms 105:4)

Love & Blessings To ALL!!!
BatmanMax of Hollywood

We were in Hollywood last summer ('07). This was our very first trip to CA, and we didn't realize that the characters on Hollywood Blvd are working for tips. We assumed they worked for Graumann's or something. My daughter and her boyfriend wanted to pose with Elmo, and he was the biggest jerk. He cussed them and harrassed them until she gave him a tip. She didn't even have any money with her, and while she was walking three feet to get money from me, he starts yelling. Ridiculous. Needless to say, we ignored the rest of the characters. We would have tipped the guy anyway, and could have done without the harrassment.

whats up max,hope your out,stay out of jail,it's the worst place you could ever be.hope your well sexy

batmans the biggest liar who says hes killed 3 people and totally sucks at martial arts and always gets beat down.

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