IF YOUR WORKPLACE, LIKE THE MIAMI HERALD, HAS AN ON-SITE CAFETERIA

Thank your lucky stars.

Comments

[Scuzball]

First! First ! First!

[Scuzball]

Ok, now to go read the article...

[Scuzball]

We have a cafeteria, we have microwaves.

Cafeteria food is EXPENSIVE, food from home is cheaper (and has flavor).

I think I'll stick with my chances on the microwave. I'll just make sure I don't go to work at Walgreens.

[Bismuth]

''It was a pretty bloody scene,'' Leljedal said. He didn't know what kind of soup was involved, or whether that that was spilled along with the blood.

Perhaps it was Cream of Ritalin?

[Aunt Nancy]

Oh, good grief. These two gals must have the combined I.Q. of mayonnaise.

[Christobol]

I told them they should go with the "Your Mother Doesn't Work Here" theme in the breakroom posters, but NO...they had to hang the "I'm Heating My Soup First Because You're My Bitch" posters, which I think just encourages staff rancor.

[Christobol]

Oops .

Also "Combined IQ of Mayonnaise" would be an apt name for a rock band, if not a good one.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Eeek...I need to convince my company to buy a second microwave....NOW!

[Gold Digger.]

"Man, I could just kill for some hot soup."

[Bumble]

I've heard of a stupider argument, but it didn't result in a stabbing as far as I know. My father is retired from the Air Force, and my mother used to grocery shop at the commissary on base. Once when she was shopping around Christmas, she saw a woman take a beef roast out of another woman's cart, and the women got into a fight. The roast beast snatching woman's reasoning for her action? "My husband outranks yours." At that point mom shook her head, picked out her own roast from the cooler full of them and headed for the checkout, so I don’t know how it ended.

[Jozhkr]

Staff Rancor would also be a good name for a rock band.

[Sean]

Gaspacho..The safe soup..

[Somewhere North]

I like the part about them "spilling back into the store". What were they spilling? Can you imagine being a shopper?

Employee 1: I'll kill you for that! I'm gonna heat my soup first and you're....

Shopper: Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but in what aisle is the soup?

Employee 2: Oh no you don't b*tch. Get in line like everyone else....

[FIRST Rules Committee]

Memo to Scuzball:

In order to qualify for FIRST status, Rule 43, subsection f(a)12, paragraph 38 states:

You must read the link before posting.

Please keep this in mind.
Thank you.

[queensbee]

it wanted me to register. pffft.

[Scuzball]

Spilling... Abdominal wound... Did she get to start eating it first? Then it would be soup. (Possibly TVFW - Too Visual For Work)

"Walgreens Women Gone Wild" on video soon.

Sooo... This article could be considered NSFW. Or at least the microwave is NSFW.

So for the next blog entry, who's going to be first? Wanna wrestle for it? I'm sure we could find all the proper ingredients; a knife, a microwave and a Walgreens.

[Scuzball]

FIRST Rules Committee: I tried... (Scuzball steps down from the gold medal platform to the bronze medal platform, snivelling all the way...)

[Guin]

We bought our office microwave for $15.99 after using about 10 coupons. My office could take up a collection so that Walmart could afford 2 microwaves for their "break" room.

[Morty]

It's OK Scuzball, we've all done it. You will make it someday, and when you do it will be the most GLORIOUS felling in the world! Oh yeah, and you'll (not yule) get to leaqrn the "Secret Handshake".

[Morty]

*ATTENTION*
...feeling....

As you were.

[Morty]

*ATTENTION*
...learn...

That is all.

I hope.

[KCSteve]

No, you can either register to read the article or go to http://www.bugmenot.com and avoid having to register.

[ceeg22]

A. I would bet anything that the microwave fight was just the catalyst for the stabbing, these co-workers had other issues that were exacerbated by the situation.

2. it amazes me that there are still bloggers who aren't registered with The Miami Herald. How do you read Dave's column if you're not registered?

[MzVette]

Secret handshake??!! I didn't get to learn the secret handshake.. I've had at least one first!

[ceeg22]

sure you did, Mz, it's just so secret that you were required to block it from your mind after you learned it.

[BoilerBob]

He didn't know what kind of soup was involved, or whether that that was spilled along with the blood.

For the love of pete, please don't spill the soup!!!

[MzVette]

Ohhh, I see... gotta buy that "self-hypnotis" book I saw so I can take it out of my subconcious and practice for our next big meeting!

[insomniac]

get a bigger microwave....

[ceeg22]

not to mention the location of the meeting (which of course we can't mention, because it's sooooo secret)

[Eleanor]

Keep the faith, scuzball, and keep trying because as Morty said, the Secret Handshake is waaaaay cool!

*sends a decoder ring to MzVette so she can remember handshake*

Meeting next Thursday at the usual spot, ceeg22???

I've said it before, but I think we all should register at the Herald because it's Dave's newspaper and for all we know he may get a nickel (or a sockful of them) every time someone registers!

[Wahooligan]

If Dave gets a sock full of nickels every time someone registers, maybe he can go down to the Herald and use that sock on the person who decided to make invasive registration a requirement for reading the Herald online.

Thank god for bugmenot.

[Betsy]

I have a question for the Rules Committee: A few days ago, I was first, but as a relative newcomer I was only vaguely conscious of the prestige attached to this status. Therefore I didn't say "First".

Now I find out that there are numerous perks and valuable prizes, including secret handshakes, clandestine meetings, and hypnosis. Can I be a retroactive 'first', or must I wait for my next first?