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October 20, 2005

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

An almost-foolproof escape plan is thwarted by plumbing.

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Did they get this idea from a Goldfish?

I think they got their idea from the FIRST report of a snake in the toilet. Then, when the multiple stories came in about snakes in toilets, they really thought it would work.

Idiots.

I think that they got the idea from the (I think) Fox show "Prisonbreak"... however letting inmates watch that while in a correctional facility might display a lack of common sense... ya think???

(Hi, y'all -- I've been reading the blog for awhile, passing on the good tidbits on to my friends, but thought I'd finally jump on...)

hahahaha only in america

Stephen King's Shawshank Redemption maybe? Didn't their mothers tell them that things in movies/books were fictional?

backing up my supposition:

"Michael then performs his routine of removing the toilet from the wall and makes his way into the catwalks behind the cells."

http://www.fox.com/prisonbreak/recaps/recap_106_1.htm

If they thought they could pry off the toilet and escape, they:
1. watch too much tv
2. are missing a director and a set designer

Doesn't Andy crawl through three football fields of sewage in the Shawshank Redemption?
Point of inspiration?

author - Bruce Schuknecht
whatta great name

Welcome, wldwmyn !

"What were you trying to do, asscape?"
"Shut-up."
"That was a really $hitty idea, Einstein."
"Come on, please just shut up."
"You're looking a little flushed, do you want some toilet water?"
"See, this is why I hate prison. Well, this and the showers."

Isn't this from Chapter 2 of Beavis and Butthead go to prison?

I particularly enjoyed the detention sergeant named Gidget.

Something tells me they have gotten ahold of a lot of drugs while in prison as well....

well, i think keith the python could have helped them out, er. burp.

hmmmm, lessee.....

average prison building drain diameter = 4 1/8"

average prisoner waist diameter = 36"

nah, something don't add up here.

they forgot the crisco or they'd be home free.

I'm having a hard time coming up with a worse plan for escape.

But what Remington and Stehle may have lacked in foresight, Johnson explained, they corrected with exuberance.

"Hey Remington?"

"Yeah Stehle?"

"I don't think we can fit through this six-inch in diameter pipe."

"Got any other ideas?"

"Well, we could try exuberance...."

Remington? Stehle? Won't they be portrayed in a CBS made-for-TV movie by Pierce Brosnan?

Dang, you people crack me so consistently up.

There is a real good reason why they are locked up. Having absolutely NO brains is a felony.

Long tall - if the diameter is 36, that would make the circumference a hair over 9 feet. Prison food must be good!


Look, you are asking to get caught when you remove the TOILET and they make four HEAD counts during the day.

Pogo: Good catch. Here's a gold sticker.

I laughed all the way through this thread. Thank you all.

lol, Aunt Nancy. I was wondering if I was the only person who noticed that.

Geezer alert!

...roll the toilet paper out the window...

...and have an escape.

(hint: Ofc. Obee)

"Officer Obie said he was just makin' sure, and Obie was ... and it was about three or four ... hours later, when Alice ... Remember Alice?

This is a song about Alice ...

(Pogo - I caught that circumfirence/diameter deal too, but I just got here ... home @ 8:45 pm MDT ... gone about 157 hours, 3,000 miles and some VERY quality time with kinfolks and friends ... and I din't wanna pay $4.95/hour for airtime @ the truck stop, so I couldn't get on the blog until now ...

I know (not no) ... excuses, excuses ...)

Besides which already, Andy Dufresne went thru the wall, then broke into the sewer pipe ... the MAIN one ... which was a lot larger, remember him sitting on it and hitting it ... it musta been about ... at least 24-30 inches in diameter ...

How much is that in metric?

Those of you who din't get the geezer reference item above correct will hafta go sit on the "Group W" bench ... I hear they've painted it pink ...

"Huh-uh-uh, huh-uh-uh, Jamester mentioned us, huh-uh-uh."

I wonder what happened to the 27 8 x 10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one? If Arlo is ever inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they oughta be in his exhibit.

For people who don't know what us geezers (I'm 42) are talking about, msn.com has the "Alice's Restaurant" album by Arlo Guthrie available for purchase and download. It consists of one long track, which is the one we've been referring to, and six shorter ones, four straight and three goofy songs total.

From the Group W bench, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

I shoulda been more specific: it's MSN Music, but that can be reached from msn.com; "Alice's Restaurant" (the album) costs $9.90 to download.

From the Group W bench, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

I saw/heard Arlo perform this in concert!!!!

He even commented "someone's singing harmony" and everyone turned and looked at me. Was I that loud?

Minniapolis, circa 1990

Arlo always says that ... but, yeah, you musta been that loud ...

He was in Bismarck a couple of years ago, but I was not around, so missed his appearance ...

For those of us who were of an age with that era, Alice (and her restaurant) were/are icons of a social/political phenomena ... even more important than some of Pete Seeger's stuff of the times ... (Hey! it was our collective a$$es that were going to get shot off! The significance of MLK Jr. and the '68 Democratic Convention were still in the future ...)

Long ago, when I was still teaching, the "book company" that sent out flyers every month had an illustrated (cartoonish/caricaturish) book for sale ... I was surprised that this sort of subversive propaganda got past the censors, but I never heard anyone question its presence ... none of the kids ever got a copy, but I did, and I still have it somewhere ... I doubt that it would be on amazon/alibris, but someone like Powell's might actually have a copy somewhere ... I'll hafta look, now that I think of it ...

Arlo defined a generation (along with a bunch of others, of course), and Alice's Restaurant was an anthem ... of sorts ... witness the many references which allude to it, that appear on this blog ...

From the other end of the Group W bench ...

Yeah, all those book sources have copies, tho not all are the same one I cited above ... some low prices, if that's what interests one ...

U.O! Get away from there!! There's father rapers on the Group W bench!!!

...and, in that book, was there a picture of a dog smelling print? I'd pay to see that.

Speaking about failure go to google and type in the word failure see what the first hit on the list is!!

Sondra: Don't worry about father-rapers; if you tell one you're a litterbug, he'll move away from you!

From the Group W bench, IBW

Well you never know unless you try . . .

MKJ, what does that French quote on your profile mean? I ran it through Babel Fish and got: The honor and voice of conscience, is quite weak, when the bowels shout. Somehow, I don't think that's quite what the original author/speaker had in mind.

MKJ! long time no see!

I was told that there would be no math on this blog.

LTTG again. Adding to a a sub-thread from back in the wee small hours after midnight, I'm such a geezer I have Alice's Restaurant on the original vintage vinyl.

exuberance

n 1: joyful enthusiasm 2: overflowing with enthusiasm 3: shit for brains [syn: enthusiasm, ebullience, stupidity]

HEE, Lab!!!

You sure these guys aren't named Serge A. Storms and Coleman?

My only memory of Alice's Restaurant is when I was little, hearing my mom play it on the piano. I assumed it had something to do with that annoying Kiss My Grits lady. (sorry - my musical awakening didn't occur until Shawn Cassidy came along, which may or may not count).

3 times, while living in Houston, my albums were stolen. I've had 3 vinyl copies. I finally gave up and downloaded it.

mud: *SNORK*

Sondra,

Nah, they've painted all of Whitehall Street pink, so the father rapers are a lot more calm when they're on the Group W bench ... sorry about your vinyl ... I still have (somewhere) my original, and I think at least a couple more of them, plus cassette tape ... no CD yet, s'pose I'll hafta do that someday ...

Pogo --

See Sondra comments ...

Jilly --

No, I'm quite sorry, it's nothing personal, but Shawn Cassidy does not count, as a musical awakening ... (Who is Shawn Cassidy? A member of the Who? Who's on first?) ... for an experience to be classed as a true awakening, the individual must have an iconic individual/group/event as the stimulus ... or ... a handsome prince is acceptable, in an emergency ...

(My own awakening to some of my musical preferences did not occur for a number of years after the particular musician/composer/performer had already attained popularity ... then came my "discovery" ... cases in point: Dave Van Ronk, W.A. Mozart, Billy Joel, Antonio "The Red Priest" Vivaldi, Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong, Dozer ... ah, well, the list is long ...

... the important thing, IMHO, is to be open to enjoyment of new (to one's ownself) ideas ...)

I'm midway to a geezer, I guess (turned 34 this year), so Arlo Guthrie is not precisely my music. On the other hand, I've always said my Dad raised me right, musically; everything from classical to folkscare to Tom Lehrer. Every Thanksgiving for years now (since my tender ears were suited for it, I guess) we've listened to Alice's Restaurant together and snorked our way through it. Ahh, tradition.

You can get anything you want (excepting Alice) at Alice's Restaurant . . .

I will be seeing Arlo on November 16 at Symphony Hall, performing the Alice's Restaurant 40th Anniversary Massacree Tour. .....*starts humming...*

BLT --

Glad to learn that some parents are still raising their kids properly ... the whole Massacre tale/event is something that NEEDS to be retold, but probably won't make the history books ...

Guin -

I am SO jealous! Enjoy!

I've stil got 3 Tom Lehrer albums.

Guin - I'm jealous too! Be sure to tell us all about it on the 17th!

U.O. - maybe we could lobby to get A.R. made "required listening" during civics courses? Yeah, I know - in my dreams. ("And then the shrink got all excited and started jumping up and down with me, and we was yelling 'Kill! Kill! Kill!'")

Sondra - Way to go! There's nobody with quite the same cutting wit & humor, at least in music. (Dave is his match in print, I feel.) I went on a missions trip to Mexico a year or so ago, and one evening our hotel was invaded by mariachis who, frankly, "would not shut up 'till they were paid" - I had "Fiesta Time in Guadalajara" stuck in my head for the next three days . . .

Three days is a little long, but still... great song!

BLT -

Yeah, I'm afraid you're dreamin' ... or smokin' somethin' funny ...

I just try to remain content with doing my own little part ... instructing neices and nephews, kids, and soon I'll start with the grandkids ...

Of course, it often helps when one of the youngsters (when visiting @ grandma's house) raises a key question (usually when there's "not enough" to do, to wit:

"Is there a restaurant in town?"

Since the town in question is named Alice, I've got my opening, and proceed with the lesson ...

I am not making this up. We've been doing Alice's Restaurant jokes/references (when visiting @ the farm) for nigh on 37 years now ...

It just occurred to me... I should play this at my restaurant on Thanksgiving! Duh! (assumming it's open by then)

No doubt on their way to a very important Mensa meeting.

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