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October 21, 2005

A SAD DAY FOR DEMOCRACY

Mr. Floatie is forced out. Of the mayoral race, we mean.

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Oh poo.

OMGWTFBBQ?

Mr. Hanky?

Mr. Floatie does a valuable service to the community. I'm not sure being mayor would help improve his image.

He can always come run for governor of CA you don't have to be a real person to run here in California

Mr Floatie is no longer running. Something to do with Pepto-Bismol.

At least he took the plunge. He's probably feeling pretty drained by now.

It's a sad day in our country's history when you can't run for mayor just because you're a big piece of poop.

He looked like a good candidate on paper.

Is he going to retire to the Island of Misfit Mascots with Sexual Harassment Panda?

He logged alot of hours for this movement, and when asked why he did it, he replied,"It's my duty.."

F@#!$ng bastard...

cars info

GDogg: Excellent.

What an interesting way to sell cars. I would never consider starting my sales pitch off with unprintable profanity.

(Then again, I'm an excellent typist. If you can say the profanity, I can probably print it for you.)

(I'm referring to the spam from "john".)

i don't know, but i think there's a lot of sh*t in politics. he'd fit right in.

*steps away from GDogg in awe*

Oooh! You got props from His Daveness!

John is big piece of poopy-ca-ca.

There seems to be a new theme here in the blog: costumes. We've had a few before, but nothing that would come close to competing with the snake theme, the hurricane theme or the severed penis theme. Two in one day definitely gives the costume theme a push toward prominence. Personally, I like it. I say more costume stories, down with the snakes!

And just in time for Halloween! What other great costume ideas can the blog give me to inflict on my kids?

"Aw Dad, I don't wanna be the penis this year, I was the penis last year!" "How come Johnny always gets to be the big poopy?"

Costume ideas - an exellent suggestion. Please help - I need a cool enough costume for an 8 year old boy that a decently crafty person with no sewing machine can pull together quickly.

Stnbelle, try a vampire. all you really need is make-up, fangs, and a black cape.
Or you could do like my parents used to do, dress us up like bums. Old clothes, eyebrow pencil beards. Gypsy was popular too, since it just required old earrings, a skirt and a bandana or wig.

So, do they have a criminal charge of "toilet harassment" in British Columbia? If the kid in the penis costume got charged with "sexual harassment" it only makes sense (?) that this would be the direction in which the courts should ... go ... (har?)

Costume idea: Wrap the kid in Saran Wrap (TM) and send him as a condom ... (that's supposedly what we used to to, at a certain age, when we din't have the guts/hair/balls to actually go into the local drug store [where everyone knew who you were] and buy the actual product ...

If that's not quite what you're looking for, how about wrapping him in brown paper and sending him as "adult toys" ...

No?

Wrap him in gauze bandages and send him as a mummy ... my granddaughter actually had this for a costume once ... (takes quite a few, but he's only young once ... right?)

... or, send him as a pirate ... you know, three-piece business suit, bad hairdo, smarmy facial expression, ignored subpoena in breast pocket of suit ...

Sthnbelle -

For any costume that requires a cape, just use felt or a knit fabric; they don't need hemming, as they won't fray or run when you cut them to size.

You can make a decent dog or other animal costume out of appropriate-colored sweatpants & hooded sweatshirt; just use a hot glue gun to attach ears (and maybe a tail). Spots can be put on with fabric paint, or if you'd like to be able to use the sweatsuit again, cut spots out of felt or knit fabric & attach with glue gun. When the costume's been worn for the last time as a costume, wash in hot water, which will dissolve & rinse away the glue, leaving you with the sweatsuit to use again. (Plus a bunch of felt scraps in the washer, but who's counting?)

You could also use the above method to make an alien or other monster. A scary face can be done quite cheaply with the commonly-available facepaint kits you find in all the stores this month . . . same for an animal face, really.

My fourteen year old son is going as a scary bee...When people ask him what he is, he is supposed to say " A scary bee.." And the people say "what? what is a scary bee?"..And he says " A Boo Bee.."

I know someone who made a giant papier-mache costume of a butt, with his face in the, um, middle. He was dressed as his boss.

Probably not an appropriate costume for a kid, but in keeping with the Mr. Floatie topic.

Um...I've had some experience with hot-glue. Eventually it broke off of whatever it was attaching something to, but it remained a hard lump of mucilage-colored matter. No way did it dissolve.

Elmers Glue, however, will.

Mr. Flotie becomes a sinker. Bummer.

And for the record, I had nothing to do with that car thing.

i'm snarky. i sent this one to ya yesterday dave. and i agree with all the posters. personally, all the politicians appear to be mr floatie to me. . . . [not that i would be seeking any credit you understand....]]

I think it'd be a refreshing change in politics!! Finally a piece of poop spouting the truth, as opposed to to a piece of truth spouting poop?

While Mr. Floatie came about as the result of a strong political movement, officials denied he was a candidate with substance--too many pieces of corn disqualified him.

They also denied his wishes to open the polls first thing in the morning and to remain open until just before bed.

Maybe he should campaign to be mayor of Flushing, New York.
...I'll stop now

Martinishark - not a moment too soon.

"Corn." Snork.

Corn?

How about brocolli ? (SP?)

That usually ... nah ... TMI ...

Here's an easy costume for a kid, provided you have a good printer on your computer. Put him/her in a suit (or a suit jacket and jeans) make the kid a photo ID badge with appropriate labels downloaded from the Internet, a VIOLA! An IRS agent. Truly one of America's scariest creatures. On their trick-or-treat bag, write "Trick, Treat of Audit". OR - in keeping with the blog thread, put the kid in hospital scrubs, stick a latex glove in his/her shirt pocket, make a medical photo ID, and send the kid out as a proctologist. "Trick, Treat or Exam"!

I've got a costume for you--get a few of those individual-sized cereal boxes and attach them to your shirt--chuck a plastic knife in each of them and coila--you are a cereal killer--get it? "serial" killer? Oh, nevermind...

I meant, "voila." (accent mark not included.)

I knew a woman who strapped the heads of two male mannequins to her chest, so they looked backward over her shoulders, then wrapped a sheet around them and herself. She went to a party as a "Menage en Trois". (Pardon my French, I have no idea if that is spelled correctly)

But probably not good for kids.

Pogo - just google it.

so, if Mr. Floatie had won, would that make British Columbia a 'brown' province?

Well, if Mr. Flotie can't run, I want to nominate a telemarketer named Michael Holden. He called me today. How did I know he was a telemarketer? Because the Caller ID said some financing company. OK, so this guy calls and asks if he can speak to Mr. or Mrs. Mylastname (which is Hutchings, but I wanna stay semi-anonymous on this blog, k?). And I say, "Who is calling?", and he says, "Michael Holden".

So I say, "as in Michael Holden his oosik?" except I didn't say "oosik". Instead I used the dick-word. He was shocked, awkwardly said goodbye, and I am hoping soon afterward either spilled a hot pot of coffee down his pants or walked in front of a bus.

Talk about a bad name for a telemarketer!! But a perfect name for a politician.

Yeah, how about those old names for law firms?

Dewey, Cheatem & Howe ...

Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel ... (from the Marx Bros. movies)

Some of this commentary has me thinking about a missed opportunity for a news headline in the BC papers:

Mr. Floatie Runs

Mr. Floatie to Run Again

... quittin' time ...

... Dang! ...

Better now?

Key lines: "Of course I'm not a real person," Skwarok said earlier this week. "I'm a big piece of poop."

If only our elected officials were that honest.

Costume idea heard about, but didn't see:

put a white garbage bag over your head and torso, with a tiny hole in front. When someone asks what they're supposed to be, spray shaving cream thru the tiny hole and say, "Oops, it broke."

Sunny - HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Thank you, thank you!

Sunny- That is the sickest thing I have read in a while.
You have to admire that.
Also, if Mr. Poopie "runs" that town is going to have a mess oon its hands, but I guess, as long as the soap dispenser isn't empty..

And finally, to paraphrase P.J. O'Rourke, "when are the political parties going to adopt more honest symbols, like a snake, or money with wings, or a stopped up toilet....?"

forcing Mr. Floatie out too strongly can lead to hemorrhoids of the body politic...

Brad - I love it!

G Dork

G to H

G Bye

Sunny, I don't get it.

I woulda voted for Mr. Floatie, as long as he doesn't really stink!

Poor Mr. Floatie. I send along my regards, if he is still out there.

louis gehrig, how could I know what you've read, for comparison?

Rockchild, the plastic bag is supposed to represent a condom.

My problem with it, is that you could ruin carpet, furniture and clothes that way.

One of my favorite costumes is one that a friend of mine wore to our South Carolina high school one Halloween: she cut head and arm holes in a white plastic garbage bag and went as White Trash.

My son always wanted me to make costumes that were kinda difficult-anybody want a praying mantis costume(used once!), also a lobster, but we added a lobster character to the school play that year so at least he wore it twice. My daughter is easy-princess, ballerina, or kitty (or combination). I better keep my son away from the computer today or he'll want a Mr. Floatie costume too!

Ooh, I forgot to mention my favorite easy costume-I had a friend who went as "apostrophe S". All he did was make a cardboard apostrophe and tape it to a headband, then drew the letter "s" on a white t-shirt.

Just a costume idea:
Get two people and dress one completely in black and one completely in white. get two clear garbage bags and cut arm and a head hole in each. put them on the two people. Make a hat for each out of tin foil and place a construction paper "s" on the one in white and a "P" on the one in black and then you have a set of matching salt a pepper shakers...

"I'm a big piece of poop"

Why can't all politicians admit to this?

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