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September 27, 2005

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Quality Bull Semen.¹

(Thanks to queensbee)

¹which of course WBAGNFARB

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Earl: Here you go.
Hu Jintao: What is?
Earl: It's a...er, gift.
Hu: Hair jell?
Earl: I...well, no. Sure.

"Releations grew after the gift"

My question is wouldnt the "relations" have already been full grown in order to get the gift?

I heard that they tried using the quality stuff when they filmed There's Something About Mary, but the scenes didn't work, so they had to go to Quality Human..er...I won't say anything else...

They won't import our beef but they'll accept our bull.

Did they have to use the word pooled?

And what began as a prickly relationship between spunky little Singapore and big old Shangdong ended with the exchange of the ceremonial spooge

Doggone it, judi, you and Dave are just messing up the search engines by posting stories about bull semen and Britney Spears on the same day. Plenty of folks are interested in both those topics separately, but precious few are interested in both topics together at the same time.

On the other hand, maybe I'm wrong. Either way, I'm afraid to Google to find funny links about bull semen.

Oh, what the heck, look at this one.

Key quotes: You get the best semen prices when you buy in volume . . . .

and

In the double breeding setups I've designed, it's not uncommon to breed one female every 30-60 seconds or 600 head/day. If it takes six people to do this at $100/day each, that's $1/head for labor.

I'm still not sure I should look at all of the links for Quality Bull Semen.

Pooled Semen would be a disgusting NFARB, so maybe a good choice for punk?

THATS IT!! I've been tryin for months to come up with a good Christmas present for my wife. Nuthin says love like a unique gift of 200 straws of quality bull semen

Ok, maybe I should read more of the links.

Apparently semen is being taxed in Maine, which leads me to worry about a repeat of the Boston Tea Party, only different.

Key quote version of a traditional tongue twister (it apparently ain't sea shells that she sells these days):

"She sells Shire equine semen and is one of a handful of small, independent semen sellers in Maine."

I'm also not sure that I agree with the editorial decision to discuss semen sellers using the word "handful," but perhaps I am too Puritanical, even for Maine.

also, ya gotta wonder how someone ends up collecting bull semen for a living - spending all that time messin' with a bulls' Shandong doesn't seem like anyone's dream job...

the Maine semen party?

We may not make cars, TVs, computers, or clothes anymore, with all our jobs (except blogging) outsourced to the third world. But we still make the best bull semen on the planet. Quality is job 1, right?

Actually, way back when I was a grad student, a friend of a cow-orker of my Dad wanted to start a software company in Australia and wanted me to pick up and move there to start and run the company. It was a very interesting opportunity, but I was probably a little too young and set in my ways to see it, though fortunately, not too old and tied down to takre advantage. But, the real kicker is how this guy made his millions originally... He sold pig semen to the Japanese. Apparently, they like smaller farm animals than their Shandong counterparts.

Spinner 8
The only thing worse that being a semen tax collector is being the kid of one. Just imagine take your dad to school day.

I belong to the Quality Bull Semon Of The Month Club. It's the gift that keeps on coming.

One bull? Two countries? (USA & Canada -- read it again ...)

Is that anything like a two-headed snake?

Back in the '70's it was adult theaters, these days people have to worry about their shoes sticking to the floor of the Ambassador's office at the Asian Consulate.

I'm beginning to see why all that ice was shipped to Maine.

And I agree with Brainy Jello; "semen" and "pooled" really don't belong in the same sentence.

Straws of semen?

How the hell are they extracting it?

"Jim, you wanna get the siphon going and then pull away really fast! Wipe your shirt."

Jim, the pearl necklace looks lovely on you.

C-bol --

The "container" of semen is a sort of pipette, sterile and medically secure, to prevent contamination ... when filled with the "product" it resembles a stalk of straw ... sorry this isn't a more accurate or descriptive explanation ...

(Good joke, tho)

U.O.-

Put me down as thrilled that this isn't a more accurate or descriptive explanation ...

Hey! this is no bull, it's a big deal to pork producers too.

despite the kind assistance of several people i still haven't figgerred out how to post a link here.

but you city kids will get a kick outta this website from a company based in my state of origen (no NOT confusion, Iowa)

http://www.piggene.com/international_boar_semen.htm

and i thought i hated my job. collecting bull semen i guess would be worse. all i have at my job is the bull.

rick h; . . .it's a big deal to pork producers too

I understand that's how many actresses (and some actors) get their start.

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

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