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September 28, 2005

SOON TO BE A MADE-FOR-CBS MOVE

Trapped In The Toilet

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Staffers were unable to find anything appropriate on board to force the door open because Security confiscates anything larger than toenail clippers before personnel board. "You can't be too careful, with terrorists on the loose," said one railroad employee who wished to remain anonymous. "My God, can you imagine the chaos if we had emergency tools stored on-board?!"

They could be plungered into submission.

the staff should keep magazines handy in case the situation should happen again. don't men like to spend time in the john with a good read. cosmo perhaps?

A spokesman for the company said: “There is emergency equipment aboard all Northern Services.

“However, the staff assessed the situation and decided that, in this non-emergency situation, the equipment would not have been suitable to open the door in a controlled and safe manner.

So, presumably the emergency equipment is plastic explosives?

That's just a new security measure in case a terrorist really has to go and decides to use the toilet before committing his henious act. This way, he will be rendered unable to complete it.

"You can't be too prepared these days," so said former Director turned highly paid consultant Brown.

Peter Powell (Spiderman's dad?)could have gotten out alot quicker if he had not spent 57% of the time thinking about sex, 57% thinking of work and only the remaining 22% trying to get out

"including his wife Gene"

Next time, they take Priscilla, the Queen of the Desert!

Peter Parker was Spiderman...I know from watching the movie OVER AND OVER with 8 year old twins.

In summary, protection of the door was more important than getting the man out!

Good to know.

The rescue staff responded to his cries for help by saying," Urine there for the duration unless you can find a stool or something to knock down the door.."

Too funny. The sign behind him looks like "Stuckport".

But at least he came away from the experience with a suitable picture frame.

The picture leaves me confused... did Peter get his head wedged in the commode seat, and need to be freed (or "prized") with the aid of this crowbar? Maybe that's the same guy who lurks in Porta Potties "looking for his wedding ring."

i do hope they air it as a double feature with "snakes on a plane"

You know, if he's half as cranky as he appears to be from the photo and the quotes, I'm surprised they didn't decide to leave him in there all night.

Heh! Boy oh boy! That reminds me of the time that I got my head stuck in that toilet. I had been drinking pretty heavily and when I came to, there I was with my... eh... why is everyone looking at me like that?

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