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September 26, 2005

QUESTION FOR WOMEN

So I am as usual in the airport, and I'm buying newspapers, and there on display at the counter is Cosmopolitan Magazine, and as usual the cover photo is of a woman dressed for the Senior Prom at Harlot State University, and as usual the articles listed on the cover are all about sex, as in "101 SEX TIPS!'"; "SEXY HAIR!"; "SEX UP YOUR GUM TISSUE!"; etc. So my question is: Do women really and truly think about sex that much? I mean, we know that guys do, but you can tell that from watching guys in real life. You cannot tell -- at least I cannot tell -- from watching women that they are thinking about sex all the time, but to judge from Cosmopolitan, which has been using the same cover successfully since the Civil War ("53 WAYS TO FIRM UP HIS MUSKET!") they are. So, women: What is the deal?

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Speaking for men everywhere, I can honestly say that we anxiously await the answers provided by that other species, Woman.

Yeah, what gives?

Also, why is it ok for a woman to read a magazine like that and no-one looks twice - but if a guy pulls out ONE COPY of Goatherders Monthly, he's treated like a weirdo??

You lost me after, "So I am as usual in the airport". I was thinking about something else...

Deal? There's a deal?

How can I get in on it?

I for one am repulsed at those magazine covers, embarassed at the Victoria's Secretion commercials, and tired of everyone making such a big deal of something special that should take place between a husband and his own wife in the confines of marriage. (The women who make those ads are someone's daughter. Men - would you want YOUR daughter pawed over like a piece of meat?) And now I expect that I will be blasted for expressing my opinion, which you asked for.

In short: Yes. Some of us do, in fact, think about It all the time. However, we certainly don't need all that crap info found in Cosmopolitan. We can, ahem, handle things just fine on our own, thankyouverymuch.

Dave, I think it's in the handbook that came when I got marri...er..sorry, lost my train of thought...umm...what was I saying...oh, and this has plagued the minds of men for all eterni...um...whoa...where was I again? And that guitar of yours should sell for quite a bit of mon...er...sorry, was thinking about something else there for a moment...ahh...oh, and I agree that the Herald Hunt is going to be great again this year, especially in Coral Gab...oooh....umm......sorry, where was I?

I second what LadyBug said. Since I agree and I think she said it way better than I could have.

Higgy ~ it wasn't that you pulled out Goatherders Monthly, it was where you pulled it out from that earned those looks.

women from age 15-23 think about sex all the time. after that they wake up, and ask: what the he!! was I thinking??? once their hormones drop back to normal levels, women do get it, and get a grip. and stop reading cosmo.
and where are you going now?

24/7....7 days a week... every day of the month....

*drool*

No Dave...the only reason why those covers exist is so that women can learn how to attract men through sex and once they are caught....forget it!....HEADACHES GALORE!!!!

I dunno ... I'm a guy, but I love Cosmo.

queensbee is correct. By age 24, we already know that gum tissue is not sexy under any circumstances and have a grasp, so to speak, on how to firm up a musket.

Hate to nit-pick, but Universities don't have senior proms. That's a high school thing.

Speaking as a woman, the only time I've ever read any part of that magazine is once in college, when someone cut one up & posted bits of it in the restroom stalls on our hall. It was pretty darned trashy. (Yeah, I did read it, though. Not proud of it, but I read it. Mind you, I'll read the back of the shampoo bottle in a bathroom if there's nothing else available.)

Frankly, while I can wish I had a bod like some of the cover women, I really wish they'd cover up. It's not sour grapes, it's a dislike of porn in any form. As Dave said, it's not like men need any encouragement to think about sex, and even soft porn like those magazine covers just encourages men & women to treat each other like objects. (Not even sex objects, just objects. Things. As in, "You are only here to make me feel good, to do things for me. It's all about me." Great basis for a relationship of any kind, huh?)

And no, women don't think about sex all the time. Some of the time, sure.

Everybody thinks about it all the time...Some of them just channel it in different ways..Some think about having it, others about keeping it from someone. Some are planning it, some think about taking it from someone else whos having it, so they can have it..Some think there is too much, some not enough..Some are appalled by the exposure it gets, some expose getting it in appalling ways..Birth, death, crime, fame, infamy, religion, food, clothes, jobs, shelter.. Sex is the umbrella under which everything is done with the excuse for doing everything for a different reason.

As a woman of the female persuasion, I am mystified by the success of Cosmo. Those headlines are for insecure women who think sex is the way to catch a man. Well, okay, it is. But I don't need a magazine to tell me that. (I tell my daughter: How do you turn on a guy? Show up.)

Coupla comments:

1) There is a food that stops sexual desire in women. It is called wedding cake.

2) I'd understand the whole Cosmo thing if they had nearly nekkid MEN on the cover!

I personally think it is a trick they are playing on us. They think that when a guy sees a Cosmo magazine they are going to think hey women are thinking about sex. So naturally when the guy comes home to his wife and sees that she is reading Cosmo the guy is going to think "Hey my wife is thinking about sex and I am going to have sex" So that night the guy is in bed and makes his move (the patented breast grab) and he gets the always fun "Not tonight dear I have a head ache". Because what men don't realize (since no man in the history of the world has ever opened a Cosmo) is that the cover is lying. Inside Cosmo is all the stuff that guys claim they are reading in playboy i.e. articles by Norman Mailer.

I think about it all the time. When I read statistics that say women "supposedly" only think about sex like once a hour & guys think about it in 60 second intervals, I sheepishly think that there is something wrong with me, because I think about it as much as guys.

I agree 100% with what Sean said and I don't even know what gender Sean is....

Oh - I am Woman - you GO, girl! May I blast you with my approval/agreement?

And I have to admit - the "hormone years" are a particularly vulnerable time for young women. That's what responsible parnts are supposed to be for.

Responsible *parents.*

Sorry.

I never used to think about sex that much until I hit my hornies. . .I mean, my forties.

When I was a teenager, I lusted after the cute boys on the cover of "Tiger Beat" magazine. Now that I'm 43, I STILL lust after the boys....I just use them as an appetizer now....I always eat at home....

Ladybug... Is that some sort of pump icon on your page?? And is that what you use to get a handle on things???

I agree with Queensbee. Furthermore, when a woman's children are between the ages of gestation and 18, you stop thinking about sex entirely because that portion of your brain is now devoted to preventing your children from killing themselves in various ways, plus trying to remember if this was the day of that client meeting because your only good suit is at the cleaners, also, is there gas in the car because the last time I checked I had only $15 dollars in my wallet, which had to also buy cat food, dog food, and human food, also, did I remember to mail the mortgage payment, and there are those homeless people in Louisiana, and the cat brought in a dead mole again - oh, what is sex again?

I honestly can never understand why women buy Cosmo. I'm sorry, there's just not much to learn, and one article is basically the same as the next. YAWN. I figured most of that stuff out by the time I was 20.

Do we think about sex all the time? Well, maybe not when we're sorting the dirty laundry (especially hubbys), but it IS a normal part of my day.

Cosmo's a waste of time. I'd much rather read FHM or Maxim. Usually, those mags are actually trying to TEACH men something about women's sexuality AND at least THEIR articles are short, to-the-point, and hilarious. The same women are on the cover as are on COSMO, so no difference there.

i, personally, am personally offended that you would ask this question. you've known me for FIFTEEN YEARS, dave.

p.s. i've never, as far as i know, read Cosmo.

"53 WAYS TO FIRM UP HIS MUSKET!"

BWAHAHAHAA!!!

And yet what women don't seem to understand is, like you once said, the best way to drive a man wild in bed is to just get in it with him, or just leave him alone for a while.

my wife and i used to think about sex all the time.

now, we just think about how we're going to pay for all the training pants, toys, textbooks, tuition (just to stay with the T's), etc.

I always assumed it was part of the patriarchy's effort to subjugate women by instilling in them a feeling of inferiority arising from their deviation from an unrealistic sexual ideal unless they make up for their failures by purchasing lots of things that are, surprise!, advertised in Cosmo.

The phrase "sex sells" is true on many, many levels.

Booger.

Yes, I think about sex all the time. It didn't really start until I was 29. Now I'm 44 and it's just a part of me. I thought it would wear off, but... well, I just live with it now.

Personally, I was under the impression that Cosmopolitan was a comedy magazine...

I have been married 30 yrs. I DON'T think about sex all that often anymore. I think that is due to my husbands OBSESSION with it!! Sex without a LITTLE romance is BORING. Unfortunately the romance has been long gone from my sex life. I would rather do without or do it myself. Those Cosmo articles are for naive young girls who think that is the way to a GOOD mans heart. Too late you learn sex isn't everything in a relationship!! Mommkattt

Well, I certainly think about sex a lot more than women supposedly do. However, I think the simple reason why Cosmo has sex on the covers is the "sex sells." I know - it's a mind-altering revelation. ;-)

And I think there is a curiosity factor. Women are still not as sexually liberated as men when it comes to "societal approval." Though many women might like the thought of experimenting and having sex with a lot of different guys, as men have done for millenia, most of us are still concerned about our reputation (and more importantly our health). So reading about sex is a substitute.

I don't consider Cosmo porn, but I outgrew it years ago. I stopped reading it in high school when I realized that I was simply not someone who would ever implement most of Cosmo's advice to single women nor would I have much experience to actually base answers on when taking one of its quizzes: "Your boyfriend of two weeks introduces you to his sexy Italian roommate and wants to know if you're into threesomes, do you..."

By the time I got to "sexy Italian roommate" I was already unable to answer the question.

Cosmo is geared toward those bimbettes who scream "Woo!" and flash for the camera.

And yes, I do think about sex, but much differently now.

I'm with Guin. Mommyness is its own zone, and can often be compared to the physical routine of a torture chamber. I think about sex for about 30 seconds as a wistful "oh well" right before I'm completely zonked out. I'll have a day or two that I dwell on it a bit, but otherwise it's pretty routine. I'll admit to missing a really great make-out session every once in awhile, but if I get another breast grab (exclusive of anything else) I think I'll scream. I can remember enjoying this stuff at one time...

I'm pretty sure, from the cover, that Cosmo is not actually for women, though it seems that everyone on the planet at some level thinks beautiful women are beautiful, although not necessarily for the same reason. About the only time I end up reading it (or anything much like it) is in a doctor's office at which point I'm reminded about why I had no need to buy it for myself.

I just finished a book by Shaunti Feldhahn titled, _For Women Only_. It's written for a religious audience (in general) but is fairly sound research. She was writing a novel and decided to do some background work on how men's minds work and found out a lot of things that will make guys think, "duh..." and women think, "you've got to be kidding..." There were some real shockers in there, at least for the girls.

BTW, why 53 ways...twice during Christmas week?

Yes, except when I'm driving. I have to focus then.

Women of a young age that buy Cosmopolitan want to look sexy so that they can get the ultimate prize which is marriage to an affluent male so that they never have to work again and can spend all their time spending money they didn't have to earn. This situation corrects itself about the time the first divorce is finalized and they realize that they are going to have to look sexy and actually BE sexy to get rich husband number two since childbirth and pregnancy have taken their toll on the perky body that didn't really require all that much maintenence to get husband number one. Also, since God has a sense of humor, their sex drive has ramped up considerably and they are now the female equivalent of a 19 year old male and they want sex and a LOT of it--and it better be GOOD because we now demand that the male (who is now in his 40's and whose sex drive has diminished due to overwork, parenthood and the cruelties of wife #1) satisfy our needs. Of course to inspire him to do this, we have to look as sexy as possible and since we are now looking a little beat from the years and the mileage we need this sort of advice in order to prevent the nubile twenty-somethings from grabbing all the rich forty-something guys. The VERY BEST thing is that if you are already really sexy and a little older, and have read Cosmopolitan faithfully all your life, you can snag the ultimate prize which is a wealthy man who is a decade or so YOUNGER which requires considerable effort, plastic surgery, planning and advice on how to be sexy when you are older from the women's bible on life a/k/a Cosmopolitan. This is actually a brilliant strategy on the part of the magazine because it allows women of all ages to believe that they MUST have this magazine in order to be sexy thereby boosting the sales of the magazine which is what the editors had in mind when they bought into the original marketing plan that "SEX SELLS". It sure does--over and over and over again!!

As far as I can tell, "Cosmo" is geared not towards women's thoughts about sex, but about women's depressed and negative views of their own body images. If I see an issue of "Cosmo," I'm too busy glaring in hatred at the impossibly-skinny upperclasswoman of HSU to even make it as far as the magazine's headlines.

Oh, and I'm 22 and I never think about sex. Except when confronted with pictures of Johnny Depp, I mean.

*Shrug*. Contrary to popular belief, there isn't a homogeneous mass out there known as "women". I'm sure some think about it all the time, and some probably never do. Most, of course, think about it to varying degrees of sometimes. And by the by, sex "should" take place within the confines of whatever relationship the conseting adults involved decide it should.

I grew up in the '60s and '70s reading this crap. My mother had a subscription. So, when I got out on my own, I, of course, had to get my own subscription. After a few years, however, I realized (duh!) that they print the same crap over and over and over. Plus, I was having so much REAL sex that I didn't need their advice. I glance at the cover from time to time now, and it's STILL the same crap from 20 years ago! I only wish I was still having the same amount of sex......as opposed to none currently. But, to answer your question Dave, yes, women DO think about sex, quite a lot, but probably not as much as men.

Ahem....may I borrow your oosik?

Speaking for myself:

Yes, I think about sex. Probably not every six seconds or whatever, but at least every 20 minutes or so.

And no, I don't read Cosmo. I don't know anyone that does. I occasionally read Glamour, but only when the cover promises funny stories. Because reading someone's funny and embarrassing sex stories is fun. I’ll read almost anything that makes me laugh.

And honestly, the sex tips in Glamour? Knew them already. And still not willing to do some of them.

Yes, I do think about sex *all* of the time, but it didn't used to be that way...I used to just think about it *most* of the time, but changing diapers and getting gakked on by kids pretty much puts a damper on that 'oh I'm so sexy' feeling! They say a male reaches his sexual peak at 18, but women, not until they're 40 and lemme tell ya, whoever discovered this knows a whole lot more about women than Cosmo ever will! I turned 40, I had self-sufficient, non-drooly, non-gakky, driving themselves places kids and WHAM-O~I can be anywhere (church is the most embarrassing place on earth to have this happen!!!) ..and the most delicious thoughts enter my mind seemingly without any provocation, and certainly without forethought or any warning bells whatsoever! Believe me Galatians does not generally get me riled up...but man...turning 40 has been the most awesome thing that's ever happened to my libido! My husband, when he catches is breath of course, will agree wholeheartedly! Grrrrrrr....

I don't have anything against Cosmo, but I don't need Cosmo to put obscene thoughts in my head, I do that pretty well without their help!

Debbie

Being a woman,I can tell you that we do think about sex alot. We may not all read Cosmo, which is a flight in fantasy. Thinking about sex and doing, getting, having it are two different things. Problem is, men do not want a woman who is interested in, likes or thinks about sex, on a long term basis. They want to persue & be refused, play games. I guarantee that if a woman is willing day after day; the man will loose interest quickly. So, the question is do we think about sex alot? Yes! But for you fellas to know this is to doom all women to sexless lives.

Great. Now I'm horny.

I have to admit that sex is on my mind... a lot... the sad thing is I work in a male environment (military) and I have yet to be shocked... though they think that since I'm female I should be offended. But, I'm not. I don't read Cosmo or anything like that though. I think the reason why there are not males on the covers is cause its not "proper" or "normal" for girls to drool over guys 24/7, espcially not in public. I personally figure if females can be lunch meet then so can males and do my share of the drooling. If anyone ever creates a female version of the Maxium, I'll have my subcription.

and this is different how? ;)

we tend to avoid thinking about sex at our house as we have noticed it causes the children to come looking for us.

Oh, I forgot to say, but I think the tides are turning for women and you will see more men showing off in the way that females have for so many years. We can probably think D'angelo for starting a trend, but I have noticed more music videos with male singers who are trying to look pretty and sexy. Marques Huston has one that would be hotter than D'Angelo's if he was as hot...

we tend to avoid thinking about sex at our house as we have noticed it causes the children to immediately find they need us.

Dave,
I am all female, all feline, all fine, all the time. When tragedy eclipses comedy, we call it irony. More widely known as Cosmo. What? like it's the UNICEF of sex? Only existing to help clueless, undesirable women gain the courage to strike impossible poses in $700 shoes that can lead to broken appendages? "Page 71! Meet Your Dream Doctor!"
And as for opening up a very (and I like this word here) broad topic to a broad group of br er, women. sheesh. It's like walking into a NOW rally and asking for driving directions.
As for the respondents out there with the hormone talk, email the kitty, she'll set you straight. Unless you are a twenty/thirty something male reading Cosmo and then well,straight doesn't happen that way.

"HEADACHES GALORE!!" (Posted by: julietine)

No Doubt!! WTF??

LimoBarbie - thanks, I enjoyed that.

To answer your question Dave:

1. Helen Gurley Brown is approximately 107 years old. Her ideas (such as they are) were formed in the Pleistocene Age and are less than relevant today.

I once heard someone (can't remember who - geezer alert in effect here - it could even have been Dave, but I'm guessing it was a standup comic) analyze the content of every issue of Cosmo as:

1. All men suck
2. How to get a man

sly: LOL

As for how to turn a man on, what to wear, etc. I'm with whoever said: just show up.

Cosmo is a fantasy novel for women with no actual experience of men (I think this is why it appeals to young teenagers), because it tells them that getting a guy can be acheived through some sort of formula. If you don't have a guy, follow these steps. Do this with your hair, talk about this on a date, do this in bed. Ignore the fact that the advice will change next month. I think that's very appealing to women who cannot accept that finding a mate is largely out of one's control.

Casual male observation: Sounds like Cosmo is pretty much like other special interest mags.

There are only so many techniques for catching fish, but Field and Stream alleges to have a new one every month.

Hot Rod magazine from my long departed youth, was pretty much the same articles every month with pictures of different cars, and different bimbos sprawled across the hood on the cover.

I'll bet golf mags, boating mags, etc. fall right in line.

MzVette: who's D'Angelo?

(I told you it was a geezer alert)

Good for LimoBarbie, nice thinking.

Now, Dave...every girl is different. It depends on how much testosterome (that wonderful hormone that makes men dogs hounds and women simply AMAZED they are NOT thinking about building the next great skyscraper).... is running through her veins at the moment. (look for shades of hair on the lip) or what time of the month. You guys have to pay attention to these things. YOU know we are as cyclical as the moon and tides. Catch us around midnight after a good Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt movie, right before our favorite time of the month..(personally a good Tom Baker DR> WHO.. did it for me, but I'm not normal)

We can all be brainwashed into visual stimulation, but naturally speaking, the MOST woman think about sex(only an opinion)that is high on the BELL CURVE is in that initial first encounter, when the sound of a male voice enters....and the eyes lock. (this CAN happen at book signings Dave...be forewarned)You might think about putting on a real stupid hat of somekind. (one that smells)

The girls are right, once the kids come, and you have to deal in cleaing up dirt and the stress of not being able to control any portion of your life, (like how to despose of kids and husband and have your sex fantasy come and take you away from the boredom of it all) sex takes a backseat to sleep or distraction. We don't have -----envy, we have "you do all the sh--twork and I can come home and relax while you take care of all that boring stuff like cleaning the toilet, because you see my brain does not compute, and I, being a man, do not see the dirt envy. Which proves your (mrn) superiority as thinkers, and why we should NEVER have a woman President, we might be bombed...but the bathrooms in the White House would smell great. It's genetic.

AND what do you mean Dave? I'd rather look at an issue of Comos and dream I had that body, then read the latest issue of Time Magazine, where the world is going to end on every page, and we are all scumbags for NOT running to the latest issue of COSMOS and having just as much sex as we possibly can! WE must give the men of the world what they really want!!!
Which is!.......go on Dave.....what do men really want, besides watch what we would do with a walrus extention. (some of us would put a good brush on the end of it.) Judi and the rest of us want to know. Go ahead....tell us.

Right back at-cha.


Are you kidding? Cosmo is GREAT! It's much longer than the funny papers in the Sunday edition of the local paper, so there's that much more to enjoy. I used to collect Cosmos religiously for the 'Cosmo Sutra' sections, which I cut out and made into a booklet for a friend of mine that was getting married. Where else will you find "10 Sex Positions Thought Up By Men Who Think All Women Are Pro Gymnists!" so nicely shrunk into a two-page spread of hilarity? Hell, it makes you want to try half of them just to see which limb will dislocate first.

But, then again, I also have this uncontrollable urge to find an individual that has a nose-ring and an earring connected by a chain, and yank the chain, to see if their nostril or earlobe gives first. So I'm not always the best barometer when it comes to these kinds of things.

I'm 47 and think about sex a lot. The brainless anorexics pictured on Cosmo's covers are an appropriate symbol of the mindless, insubstantial articles inside. Any woman over the age of 24 still reading Cosmo needs serious counseling. The savvy women know to pick up a copy of Men's Health. Every month those guys work on their abs in full color. Mmmmm. (Okay, substitute the word "shallow" for "savvy". But I'm okay with it.)

Okay, my husband and I must be weird then, because we have a daughter and I think about sex everyday...well, because we HAVE sex everyday lol. So....I don't know. Most women I know think about sex everyday.

Anyone notice that THIS thread tends to have longer posts than others?

oops. Forgot to change my name.

Carry on my wayward son(s)

Sly, my theory is whenever Dave gets bored he tosses one out like this that he knows will reel us in like Pavlov's dogs.

Woof woof!

Where can I enroll for Harlot University? I so want that on my résumé.

Oh, come on, give Cosmo a break.

That magazine makes for great reading on girls' night AND can be fun if you read it with your significant other. I don't get it often, but it's good for a chuckle once in a while.

i've been a cosmo girl since i was about 12.(older sisters, you know) it made me very sad to pick up a coworker's copy recently only to discover the content had NEVER changed. 25 years and there's nothing new except the hairstyles on the cover. technology advances by leaps and bounds but anatomy doesn't change.

I used to read Cosmo in my youth. When I was 19 I read an article on how to give a bj. Tried it on my boyfriend, and he's been my husband for 18 years. No complaints here!

No, Dave – it takes screaming headlines like those in Cosmo to remind us that there is such a thing as "sex."

Our favorite pastime, Shopping, entails endless semi-wakeful hours waiting in check-out lines, where Cosmo blares to us from the magazine racks and penetrates our bovine consciousness. In hypnotic "buy" mode, we lift the magazine from its display. Once we open the mag, the articles trumpeted on the cover never hold our attention, which instead is drawn to the latest shiny advertisements of kiwi-flavored lip gloss and scoliosis-inducing stiletto heels.

"Sex" is what males impose on us while we're on the sofa watching reruns of "The Nanny."

Oh, and yes, some of us think about sex all the time. I'm going to go find my hubby right now. WOOHOO!

Guin said: "When a woman's children are between the ages of gestation and 18, you stop thinking about sex entirely..."


I gotta say that this isn't the case with all women. We have four children (all under the age of 12) with #5 on the way, and man, my wife has been like a machine the last few years. I mean, I always thought we had a very nice sex life, but to quote Bill Murray from "Stripes," I have to read books on the side just to keep up with her these days. It seems that as I become a bit less interested in sex -- thinking about it, say, every 120 seconds instead of every 60 -- she gains interest. It's like being married to a teenage boy...

I think about other things besides sex. Like how to get sex, and can we have sex now, please? Also, I sometimes think about the last time I had sex, and when can we do that again? And beer. And if the breast grab doesn't work, would it work if I grabbed both breasts? You see, I'm an engineer. Always thinking. Problem solving.

BTW: "I am Woman" = MOTW. Sorry to out you again, dear.

I enjoy reading Cosmo for the sex tips, even though most I would never use. It just amuses me how they make it sound like it's difficult to please a man. But I also enjoy reading the Men's Health magazine for the same reasons.

There was a period a couple of years ago when each time I looked at the cover of Cosmo in a check-out line, the model, always dressed in a fabulous outfit and was also slightly cross-eyed.

After a while I figured it was some new thing like piercing but now I can see that it's because they were thinking about sex all the time.

From the foregoing discussion, we can conclude:

1. No women actually read Cosmo, other than as a sort of comic book (although some women apparently read Maxim); and

2. Women think about sex constantly until age 23, or until giving birth, whichever comes first, after which they go to great lenghts to avoid having sex (which arguably requires them to think about it) until about age 40, after which they think about sex constantly;

Based on those conclusions, it appears that men and women actually have a lot in common:

1. Men don't read Cosmo either (we just look at the cover), and some men read Maxim (others just look at the cover); and

2. Men think about sex constantly up unitl age 23, and after turning 40.

Now if we could just figure out how to get women to want to have sex between the ages of 24 and 39.....

Oh yeah - I guess we also learned that gum tissue can be sexy (although I'd have to see an example of sexy gum tissue before buying into that one).

Cosmo tells women the following:

1) You will never, never, NEVER be good enough for the average man unless you are at least ten times better looking than he is, because the only thing important about a woman is her appearance.

2) The only way to make sure this is the case is to buy everything our advertisers sell.

3) It doesn't hurt to be 10 to 30 lb. underweight at all times, inhumanly toned, and to always think about sex from the man's point of view. Your own sexuality is irrelevant unless it makes a man happy. Our advertisers have products that can help with that.

How often do I, personally, think about sex?

Never while reading Cosmo - I'm more likely to be thinking of uses for the absurdly skinny female on the cover. Toothpicks, Q-Tips, if you sharpened the ends, screwdrivers.. the possibilities are endless!

Much more often when I'm reading DB's blog.

Was that TMI?

Now if we could just figure out how to get women to want to have sex between the ages of 24 and 39.....

Do the dishes. Wash the bathroom floor. Things like that.

It's hard to think of sex when you're too tired to think of sex, which is the problem most women have between 24 and 39.

(_i_): I do all the cooking - does that count?

Not that it matters - my wife's 39, so, according to the above provided wisdom, I'll be home free in less than a year...(:

*agrees with (_i_)

I read Cosmo all the time in college, until I found a husband. Now I don't need to read about sex. Cosmo is all about how to get a man, not how to hold on to one. Once you've got one, you can graduate to other reading materials.

"I guarantee that if a woman is willing day after day; the man will loose interest quickly."

Posted by: Tymaloo | 12:53 PM on September 26, 2005

Oh the litanny of snide remarks that run through my head on that one! Just a sampling:

- on what planet?
- how about humoring us by trying?
- is this the new "headache"?
- by "quickly" do you mean after about forty years?
- are you a high school health teacher?
- is that a "money-back guarantee" (har!)?

I love to read Cosmo with a friend of mine, we laugh hysterically, then say something like, "Ohhhhh yeah, tried that last night, and yeah, an ice cube right there is INCREDIBLE!!!"...

I think the reason you guys can't tell us gals are always thinking about sex is because there are some kick ass toys on the market now that with a good stock of batteries we can carry with us most anywhere and use them most anytime and you never know..gotta love soundless technology! Of course, don't get me wrong, nothing can replace a GOOD man.

Dave,

I am a 40 year old hetrosexual woman that thinks about sex ALL THE TIME, and then some. I have read Cosmo, but find that all of the articles in there are about incredibly shallow people who only want to boink other equally shallow people.

Mary

Aw man. The one day we get into this discussion and I have to be in back to back meetings all day. I feel so left out.

On the Cosmo side, I've read the occasional mag, no useful information unless you are thinking of 3somes, bis*xual experiences and/or the benefits of s*domasc*cim. Since noone other than teenage girls who read Cosmo or S*x in the City writers are into this, and also since my husband has issues with all of the above, I couldn't really find anything new.

So I read People since gossiping is sooo much more fun. Besides, after several years, I don't need help in that department anymore.

Dear Dave,

Ever heard of a little show called Sex and the City? Yes, women think about sex. But, unlike men, we usually don't wear our erogenous zones on our sleeves – unless of course, copious quantities of tequila are administered.

The issue of women’s sexual appetite seems kind of obvious on account of the fact that women are impregnated and give birth as a result of sex. It is a miracle that despite that fact, women still enjoy and engage in sex even after having their first child. Some of us have been known to give birth more than once because we had sex again. And, many times, we get knocked up by the same guy who got us into trouble the last time. Women's sexual urges are larger because no man I know would ever have sex again if even the slightest possibility existed that he might have to go through that.

The truth is that in their reproductive years, women chose their mates in large part because at some level, they want to reproduce with that person. It's an irrational pheromone thing. At the very least, the perception of poor-quality DNA can be a major deal breaker. That’s why meeting the parents is such a big deal.

Once your wife has successfully extracted your DNA, her motivation for being with you changes. We still want the man we married, but we also need a little consideration that takes into account the strains and stresses placed on us from childrearing and demanding careers.

So, having sex more frequently with your mate is easily accomplished by doing the following: pay attention to your kids for one hour everyday; cook dinner and/or wash dishes occasionally; feign interest in our careers; look after our car; turn down the TV when it’s the kids’ bedtime; and be nice to our parents. That’s about it.

Women bear the most responsibility for the sex act because all things being equal, we are responsible for birthing and raising our children. Our choice to continue having sex demonstrates that yes we like it, we think about it, and that irrationality commonly overcomes sensibility. So, the next time you start complaining about your wife being irrational – stop and be thankful.

wow i can't keep up with y'all but scott:

It seems that as I become a bit less interested in sex -- thinking about it, say, every 120 seconds instead of every 60 -- she gains interest. It's like being married to a teenage boy...

that is testament to your skill and interest in her, so be proud.

cws - pay attention to your kids for one hour everyday; cook dinner and/or wash dishes occasionally; feign interest in our careers; look after our car; turn down the TV when it’s the kids’ bedtime; and be nice to our parents.

Nope. That didn't work. What else you got? (

BTW, go ahead and skip vacuuming, washing bottles, cleaning toilets, washing windows, changing diapers, dusting, and the additonal guy duties of mowing the lawn, fixing leaks, roof shingles, garbage duty, remodeling, landscaping, fixing the sprinklers. As soon as you're done thinking that the women are only ones who do any work, here's a ladder to help you get over yourself.)

There are two reasons that I believe that women think about sex more than men.
Firstly, the batteries in my wife's vibrator go dead twice as fast as the batteries in my tv's remote during football season.
Secondly, I slipped on one of my wife's negligee's before writing this and can't stop thinking about sex now. Perhaps it is in the fabric of the clothes that they wear.....all that silk and....dang, when's my wife getting home.

I think about it when I see those magazines like cosmo. Usually I think whats all this have to do with sex. I've been married 30 years. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I didn't realize I was supposed to sex up my gum tissue! My poor husband.
:(

I think about it when I see those magazines like cosmo. Usually I think whats all this have to do with sex. I've been married 30 years. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I didn't realize I was supposed to sex up my gum tissue! My poor husband.
:(

JustLinda's website.

"shallow people...boinking other shallow people"

OOh! Can I watch?

Stunned male: believe it.

Been there, suffered through that, thankfully past it. Compared notes with a girlfriend, same story.

*zips in*

Having read through all this very serious conversation, the thought that goes through my mind is:

Can't it all just be fun? Doing it, reading about it, looking at pictures of it, thinking about it, talking about it?

Why is everyone so serious?
It's a magazine!!!

*zips out*

On the topic of batteries, doesn't Black and Decker make a rechargable??

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