« Previous | Main | Next »

September 20, 2005

LIVE STORM REPORT FROM WALTER THE WALRUS-PENIS BONE

Here we see Walter on the patio, wearing his rain gear and courageously reporting that the potted palm is experiencing wind gusts of up to three miles per hour. Walter will remain on location next to the potted palm as long as he is humanly able.

Walteronpatio

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

I'd say something about having a rainhat on your penis here, but that would be excessive....

Keep on hunkering, Dave!

Never mind the hat -- it has a name now?

All you need is a little set of eyes, nose and mouth drawn on "him"...what a cute little (?) guy he'd be!!

Fascinating fact about the word hunker: according to dictionary.com, it can be a noun synonymous with "haunch", which it also describes as:

1. The hip, buttock, and upper thigh in humans and animals.
2. The loin and leg of a four-footed animal, especially as used for food: a haunch of venison.

So (not sew) hunkering is related to walrus penii after all. Who'd a thought.

I'm sure you know better than I, Dave, but isn't there a powerful idiotic storm reporters' union upon whose toes you're stepping?

Is that a walrus penis under your rainhat, or are you just glad to see me?

Walter!! For the love of God, get back in your little masking tape bunker!! And get that hat back to Pimp Daddy Ken before he misses it. You know how he gets.

Uh Dave, did you give him the name, or did Mrs. Blog? I was always under the assumption that naming rights of such objects went to the woman--provided said woman did not choose an emasculating name, of course.

Brave Bone, but I am guessing it might miss the tape before it's all over...

You can always count on there being some d**k reporting the weather at the scene of a hurricane.

Is it just me, or does Walter appear to be growing? Everytime I see that thing it looks bigger.
When and how did it get its name by the way?

STRIKE a Pose! Talk the Talk! Walk the Bone! (!????)

He's a natural!

stand firm, be brave, dear emasculated/walter.

This thing is getting entirely too much press. Before you know it, it's going to start dressing skankily. first the hat, then the next thing you know it's going to be dancing on stage with a snake, then it'll get married but only as a joke, then it'll get married for real, then get pregnant and want to have it's baby live on reality television.

When will this madness ever end? We must put a stop to it. I, for one, do not want this thing becoming a roll model for other penises.

Like many first time reporters, Walter comes across a bit stiff...

Walter has to be propped up?

Are we sure of our facts? We're completely confident it doesn't belong to Bob Dole?

....like an oosik in the wind...

I was going somewhere with this, but I'm so overwhelmed by the hat, that I can't remember...*sigh*

I always cringe when I see people dressing up their pets, like Paris Hilton

Yea, Paris's owners shouldn't be doing that!

the hat just gives him that certain je ne sais quois. i bet he's a better forecaster than the guys on TV.

Walter The Weather Penis
When it's wet it's raining
When it's dry it's not
When it's standing up, the wind must be...

Question, Dave: How do you explain Walter to Sophie? Or did you leave the explaining to Mrs. Blog?

Okay. This is proof positive that Dave has needs to come out of retirement. According to my DSM-IV, dressing-up walrus penises as weather reporters is a classic symptom of a "men-who-retired-to-soon-and-have-too-much-free-time-on-their-hands-itis".

Humanly able? Um...boy...Dave...that ain't human...

Oh, Walter!

http://www.puffinbooks.ca/nf/shared/SharedDisplay/0,,213558_0,00.html

A hat..for protection...snork!

P.S-Why Walter? Why not Richard?

bangi: Because he'd be a Di...oh, wait, I get it...

BANGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hug*

((((elle))))!!

tropichunt: ;)

Shouldn't Walter be wearing his rubbers? I mean, galoshes. Get your minds out of the gutter people.

ooh! sick!!!!!

Penis-bone? When I was a kid in Alaska we used the Eskimo word for them - oosik! You need to know about the famous "Ode to an Oosik"!

http://home.gci.net/~stuckagain/Ode%20to%20an%20Oosik.htm

Methinks Lynn is LTTG.

Walter needs to have an official sponsor-endorsed raincoat from Trojan.

Just yesterday morning they let me know you would come
Rita the plans I made now they just won't do
I taped down my oosik, with his weather hat on
I just can't remember where to post this to

I've seen storms and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen funny times wiping boogers on a friend
But I always hoped that this season would end.

Won't you come down and join me, Judi
You've got to help my oosik stand
We've got to spread laughter thru another day
My wife is shopping, I've got beers in my hand
I won't post pics of you with it that way

Oh, I've seen storms and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen funny times wiping boogers on a friend
But I always hoped that this season would end.

Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the storm
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll move your stuff around
Well, there's hours of time 'fore we know where she'll blow, and whether we'll need to run
'Til then we can joke and laugh and tape my oosik on the ground.

Oh, I've seen storms and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen funny times wiping boogers on a friend
But I always hoped that this season would end.

Thought I'd see this season end.
There's just a few storms coming our way this time around, now
We won't miss you, we won't miss you storm and rain, now

Dave, you write; "Walter will remain on location next to the potted palm as long as he is humanly able."

Shouldn't that be "walrussy able"?

Dave, your walrus penis is getting out of hand.

"This is proof positive that Dave has needs to come out of retirement....Jacki"

cheers to Jacki!! C'mon, Dave, whatdya say? My Sundays just aren't the same without the ray of sunshine you provide via my newspaper!!!!

Pretty please!!!!

I like the way your rain hat lays,
upon your head, it's so brown
and I wanna sleep with you
in Miami tonight
with a billion mosquitos all around
'cause I gotta peaceful oosik feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I've already taped you on the
ground

And I found out a long time ago
what an oosik can do to your soul
Ah, but it can't take you anyway
You don't already know how to go
and I gotta peaceful, oosik feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I've already taped you on the ground

I get this feeling I may know you
as a lover and a friend
but this voice keeps whispering
in my other ear, tells me
I may never see you again
'cause I get a peaceful, oosik feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I've already taped you on the ground
'cause I've already taped you...
on the ground

Dave ~ I'm srtating to think you like playing with that thing way too much.

Ok, let me try that again:

Dave ~ I'm starting to think you like playing with that thing way too much.

So, um. When are we getting a spell check for the blog?

"I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have
Lots of good fun that is funny!"

wait..no. wrong hat wearing critter. nevermind. then again, you COULD have lots of good fun with your friend there. but that would be an entirely different story.

That walrus penis may work well as a hurricane reporter, but has he ever been on-scene for mountain bombing in Afghanistan or had fat from his ass injected into the wrinkles on his forehead? Has he saved an old lady in a wheelshair in the aftermath of a hurricane? Does he have his own news show on Fox News Channel? Has he been disparaged in the New York Times? No, you say?? Well, then he's just an old walrus penis. I, on the other hand, am a star reporter.

Victoria: not that there's anything wrong with that

Beautiful, C-bol, just beautiful! thanks.

mud - great as well *sigh*

Poignancy is the word for today.

And to the rest of the group, don't you think that Dave meant "humanly able" in an ironic way?? :)
just sayin'......

Goo goo g'joob.

Maybe we should tape him to the wall. Walter seems to take to his new assignment. Keeps a stiff upper lip. The plant, on the other hand, looks alarmed.

Today in my fabulous studio kitchen, our guest is Walter from Miami. He has an easy-to-prepare recipe for drenched oosik ...

Beautiful poems,  Cristobol & Mudstufffin!

Anyone noticed Walter 'Norcross' looks like Lowly?.

I am soooo proud that my namesake
has chosen to stay away from land.
Hang in there, South Florida!

Geraldo, I'm pretty sure he does have a show on Fox News.

Dread, that walrus penis is a little too skinny to be Sean Hannity.

Who wants to make a parody of a well-known Beatles tune and call it "Scary Rita, Hurricane?" My brain's not up to it...

Dave,
That's probably the funniest photo and concept I've ever seen anywhere on the internet. Being a new weather preson I just hope that Walters boners are few and far between.

C-bol~ Freaking hilarious. Won't show it to mom, though. She's a huge James Taylor fan.

Dave, I think you guys need to have another photo shop contest; the life and times of Walter. Although you're pretty much covering that yourself. Never mind.

A Haiku

Through wind and through rain,
Walter the oosik stands firm.
No pun intended.

I thought it was Greta, actually, big G.

Turn up the oosik and dance.

Dance to the oosik.

Listen to the oosik.

The oosik man. (Featuring the hit single "76 oosik's lead the big parade")

The sound of oosik.

Oosik box dancer.

"All we need is oosik, sweet oosik. There'll
be oosiks everywhere. We got walrus swayin, and Judi's playin, with oosiks everywhere..."

"Humanly possible?"

Remember, if maintaining that stance for more than four hours, while extremely rare, Walter should consult a physician.

"I always cringe when I see people dressing up their pets, like Paris Hilton"

People are dressing up their pets like Paris Hilton? That is just so wrong!

Walter must be amazed at his current view of the world, compared to when he was 'in the pink'...

wink, wink

;-)

Talk about a 'perky' news team...

From which of Sophie's dolls did you take the hat?

Dave, when was the last time you fertilized that palm?

I mean, look at the color on that thing.

If you merge Walter and the palm, does that make him an implant?

I'm just sayin'....

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise