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September 29, 2005

EXCITING MEDICAL REPORT FROM CHINA

Let us know what it says. We had to stop reading while we were still on the headline.

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Of the three ways for the treatment, the FIRST one was autotransplantation, also known as re-plantation.

Keep those plants away from my privates!

Sigh.. the article really left out some important details. For instance, he lost his p*nis due to over drinking. Is this a regular side effect of alcohol consumption? If so, how many men are walking around with lost p*nises (although I notice some P*nii have extreme difficulties finding out where they're going) and if so, are any of these accidents are due to involvement with the driving n*pple from yesterday?

Dave, I got as far as:
After full discussions, the department carried out three experiments of penis vivisection...

OK, I'm out...

it says: OUCH!

They don't call it organ donation for nothin.

I looked up the word "allogenic" and learned that a donor was involved.

I'm outta here...

Somewhere North: throughout many years of overdrinking, I have never once forgotten where my penis is, let alone lost it completely - then again, I've never gotten drunk in China...

Also, since the article was about penis loss (and not nipple loss), I'm thinkin this guy was probably driving with his penis, not his nipple

The patient, 44, suffered an accident after over-drinking a year before, causing the loss of his penis completely.

Now that must have been one heck of a bender. And Somewhere North, the details were likely ommitted due to the fact that the victim himself was way too inebriated to recall/provide any.

"My penis used to have a mind of its own. But now it has a mind of someone else's own."

Hu Weilie, head of the urological department.

Who's head? Hu's head.

it says hugh willy "was eager for penis implantation."

JU

Dave
All you need to know is that a 7 (seven) hour operation was involved!

"Would you like to be an organ donor?"

"Uh, no. But I think we can make some arrangement for rental."

giving a whole new meaning to the title "organ donor"

*applause*

Kudos SN, TCL, MOTW, and JU. Hey, all the cool kids are using acronyms!

"suffered an accident after over-drinking"

I wonder if we don't spend too much science research money trying to neutralize natural selection.

I won't be checking that box on the back of my license.

Okay, Dave, here's a summary: Roughly a year ago, some Chinese guy misplaced his penis after a night of overdrinking. While he was looking for it, he was shot in the thigh by someone who mistook him for evil terrorist genius mastermind Home Depot shopper Marwan, and...

Oh, wait. Wrong summary.

Yes, that organ is one I don't normally think of when it comes to donations...

Let's hope he doesn't have to suffer through penis-rejection (although many guys experience that regularly).

That's it. I'm off the sauce.

there once was a man from Xinhau
whose troubles got worser and how
He was drunk and got silly
and cut off his willy
now he's got Frankenstien's plow

"On September 20, the hospital did the operation for him soon after it got a penis donation."

Donation? They actually found a man who was willing to donate his penis? And what about the recepient? Can he choose the size of the organ donation?

Incredible.

Elizabeth

>He was eager for penis implantation.

I've been there.

Bill, Flash,

Hilarious! Kudos to both of you.

Elizabeth

allogenic penis?

If that's one that is made from an aloe plant, that would help when bothered with burning urination.

And does this p*nis donation involve Glooscap the Micmac from yesterday?

Bill; ditto.

"Did you puree the giant squid's gonads for our experiment last night?"

"It was supposed to be the squid's gonads? Dammit! No more saki for me."

Terrifyingly hysterical. Can't stop giggling!

lyrics that may explain the drinking and lost pen*s link.

Now they tell me....why couldn't I have known this before I got my non-allogenic penis implant? The trouble I could have avoided! The pain! The scoffing from heartless women and guys at the next urinal!

Nomad, I was just thinking... De-tach-a-ble peeeee-nis.

But seriously, isn't "allogeneic penis tissue graft" what former House Majority Leader (and former exterminator) Tom DeLay indicted for yesterday?

I thought it said "allergenic" , there were years where women were allergic to mine...

No, no, no. You're thinking of Clinton and in that case it was p*nis implantation that got him into trouble. Tom DeLay is indited for committing an indignity on a goat.

"He was in great pain in mind"??

I'd have thought the pain in his mind would have been the LEAST of it.

Well if he hadn't gone and got a new one, he'd have been a good candidate for a Darwin Award.

S'North - ROTFL! Now I need to clean snorked Diet Mountain Dew off of my computer.

Everybody now, give it up for Who Willy and the Transplants!

*applause*

You just KNOW that Hu's middle initial is G !

This just in from Guangzhou:

Pop star Michael Jackson has just announced he will be visiting Guangzhou in the near future for an extended stay. Party official Hu G Wang says Jackson intends to get sample the local delicacies and pick up a souvenir.

Undoubtedly this woman, Wang something or other, has something to do with the tragecy:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1551435.html?menu=news.quirkies.eccentrics

There are so many quotes on this article worth mentioning!....such as..

"He was in great pain in mind although his life was saved in rescue"

"He was eager for penis implantation"

"the operation was finished with another penis attached. And a complete success was made"

WTF?????

allogeneic penis tissue grafts WBAGNFARB

All humour aside, I don't think the original owner of the free willy likely signed an organ donor card. Executed political prisoner body parts, anybody?

Dave, Dave, Dave....And all this time you've been asking us to donate MONEY for Katrina victims....what if some of them have been over- drinking?

I would donate my ex husband's willy, but I'd be accused of being cheap.

(Rimshot, please!)

"I wouldn't screw her with somebody else's dick!"

"Well, I would!"

Mike - *snork*
Good one!!!

Since this doctor has done something no other transplant surgeon ever accomplished, I've gotta say it:

Hu's on First.

(Penis donation? I gave at the office ...)

From over drinking? Wow, it really can explode.

U.O

Then Hu's on second?

No, Wot's on second ... and Tu Dei's the pitcher ...

over drinking??? whaa? i guess they didnt want to say drunk and stupid. the chinese are so polite.

I stopped reading when I got to "penis vivisection."

All this reminds me of a joke:

A Scotsman falls asleep under a tree one day. Two girls, walking by, notice him sleeping there and wonder to each other what a Scotsman does indeed wear under his kilt. So they quietly take a peek - and surprise, he wears nothing at all!!

The girls, being of a playful sort, decide to tie a hair ribbon around it, just to let him know he'd been caught. So one of them removes a lovely blue ribbon from her hair and ties it ever-so-gently around the Scotsman's willy.

Eventually he wakes up, takes one look at Willy, and says, "I don't know where ye been, Laddy, but I see ye won first prize!"

I think the donor was dead, when the penis was "donated" He had been sought out before hand, if this is the same case that I had read about earlier.

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reminds me of a joke:

A Scotsman falls asleep under a tree one day. Two girls, walking by, notice him sleeping there and wonder to each other what a Scotsman does indeed wear under his kilt. So they quietly take a peek - and surprise, he wears nothing at all!!

The girls, being of a playful sort, decide to tie a hair ribbon around


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