YET ANOTHER REASON WHY WE DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH FEMALE FIDDLER CRABS

They think they're better than everybody.

Comments

[PeeJay]

Can not be F..............ST?

[TCK]

Male fiddler crabs attract suitors by standing in front of their burrows and waving their enlarged claws, in a motion reminiscent of a human "come hither".

hmmmmmmmmm - I wonder if that would work on my wife? (now, where did I put that enlarged claw?)

[PeeJay]

Okay, this is weird. I'm first with the slowest dial up in internet history. I knew that blog was changing and it would never be the same, but this is odd. Please some veteran blogger clue me in to what the hell is going on. (sleyes help?!?) Go Cards!! And WTF is a trackback? Must 'a missed a meeting:)

[TCK]

first cuz you're the only one here?

and trackback must be so ya don't get lost - you know, like leaving a trail of bread crumbs?

[PeeJay]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn

[PeeJay]

I mean't "slyeyes" sorry:(

[Eleanor]

I'm closing the italics - and don't let it happen again -
Mom

[TCK]

sorry mom

[KOW]

No where does it talk about scoping out how much potential mates make, and what they drive. They can't be that picky.

[louis gehrig]

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(The previous entry was a tasteless
lawyer and fiddler crab joke -Ed.)

[russell]

size does matter!

"The size of a male's burrow affects the development time of his larvae,"

Or were these euphomisms that the kids are using nowadays?

[russell]

of course, I ment to spell it uphamisms.....

[Eleanor]

louis - *snork*

[slyeyes]

PeeJay!! Long time, no post! You missed the Great Blog Migration. Trackback has something to do with ...um...tracking where the links um......something. I fell asleep during the explanation.

ps, PeeJay, doesn't this read like an obit for KMOX? I worked there "back in the day" *sob*

[slyeyes]

...back to the thread at hand.

I like a female crab who has her priorities straight.

***

Wasn't there a post sometime within the last year about crabs dancing with their arms over their heads. Or was that a really bad dream?

[666]

"One especially hard to please female visited 106 male burrows, fully entering 15 of them, during her one hour and six minute search."

Big deal. That's a whole 37 and 1/3 seconds each. I've been brushed off Wwaaayyyyy faster than that.

slyeyes, sorry to read that about KMOX. Jack Carney was a friend of mine. We met when he was at KPHO in Phoenix -- before he went to KSFO -- before he went to KMOX. It's hard to believe he's been gone that long. What a great guy, and what a great radio guy! He's still my favorite.

[DaBlade]

"The average fiddler female, however, will inspect about 23 potential suitors and their bachelor pads before selecting a lucky winner.

Sounds like a Bachelorette dating reality show for crabs. Does Trista the crab leave a rose by the winners burrow?

[DaBlade]

must leave blog...
just had sudden urge to play Half-Life II

[Monster from the Id]

"The Fiddler Crabs" WBAGNFARB! One of the things I love about this blog is the fact that if I can't think of anything clever, I can always enter "(Fill in the blank) WBAGNFARB!"! Come to think of it, "Phil and the Blanks" WBAGNFARB!

From internal exile (hey, "The Internal Exiles" WBAGNFARB!), Monster from the Id

[slyeyes]

666, His son works there now. Good in his own way, but not his dad.

[Brad]

... during her one hour and six minute search.

That's actually pretty fast. Go to any bar and observe the female gender of our own species. It usually takes her at least one hour and eight minutes to pick a guy to go home with.

[Robert F.T.W.]

I wonder, do crabs get "peoples" in their genitals?

That big claw would make a dandy scratcher.

[queensbee]

"Uca crenulata females will routinely check out 100 or more males before finally picking a mate. ..."

um, this is just a fine example of survival of the fittest. who wants to mate with fiddler crab geeks and nerds who say they will call in the morning, and of course they never do, but they expect you should sit by the phone waiting for them.... sorry. i digress.

i say this is a smart species. also probably delicious.

[seatazzz]

I really should have a snappy riposte to this thread, but my cats have taken over the desk and I have to take the man to his rendezvous for his bachelor party so my mind is not here. My fingers are however.

[Julietine]

"Uca crenulata" WBAGNFARB!

[bbescuela]

Does that "come hither" thing remind anyone else of the red light district in Amsterdam? The fact that crabs are involved just adds to the similarity.

[Stupendous Man]

Here's the latest opening line in the fiddler crab singles bar:
"Hey, baby! Is it the peak outward night time flow of your bi-weekly tidal cycle, or are you just happy to see me?"

[just silly]

*snork*

*passes queens some clarified butter*

i do so admire a woman with clearly established priorities. (n Yum!)

..........
SM, *blush* Always happy to see you.

[Occam's Lady Schick]

[Occam's Lady Schick]

do not attempt to adjust the screen. this is just a test.

[william cormeny]

This might explain why other crabs look down on this species since they fiddle around too much.
Or, one might ask oneself,just how often do these crabs mate. If they only mate once in their lives,they should be picky,picky,picky.

[RealMcCoy]

I guess I was the only one who read far enough to find out that the "fat" chicks aren't as picky, huh??